Shakespeare for Everyone Else
William Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing
A Retelling by C.E. Wilson
Copyright © 2013 by C.E. Wilson
All Rights Reserved
Text Copyright © 2013 C.E. Wilson
All Rights Reserved
For information:
https://www.cewilsonauthor.com
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Much Ado About Nothing: Shakespeare for Everyone Else
Cover Design by Mae I Design and Photography
ISBN: 978-0-9883055-5-7
To my amazing brother Dustin who has always loved reading
(So much that he even reads my stuff.) You’re awesome!
Who’s Who in Shakespeare for Everyone Else: Much Ado About Nothing
Benedick, Bennett
Beatrice, Beatriz/Bea
Claudio, Clark
Hero, Heaven
Don Pedro, Donnie
Leonato, Leo
Antonio, Andrew
Margaret, Meagan
Ursula, Sola
Don John, Jason
Borachio, Bordin
Conrad , Connor
Dogberry, Barry
Verges, Vernon
Balthasar, Bryan
First Watchmen, Watch One
Second Watchmen, Watch Two
Friar Francis, Principal Francis
Prologue
As he waved sadly to the beaming blonde on the bus, he wondered if he should have let her go. Clark wanted nothing more than to be with her, but at some band camp for the summer? The idea of hanging out with a bunch of students playing lame band versions of last years pop hits for three months made his stomach cramp. He knew she would be back before the start of their senior year. A year when he was hoping to tell her how he really felt. But watching her wave to her friends Beatriz and Donnie, Clark couldn’t find the words quite yet.
It was only for a few months and he knew that he had plenty to do this summer. He was looking forward to lazing about with Donnie and Bennett, occasionally playing in a local soccer league to keep in shape, but he still didn’t want her to go. He was honestly hoping that Heaven would be there to cheer him on like she always had in the past.
“It’ll be all right,” Donnie said, giving his friend an encouraging grin. He leaned against his car and ruffled his shaggy black hair before continuing. “With soccer and beach trips, three months will pass by in no time and then it will be the start of senior year. This is going to be the year for you, Clark. I can just feel it. Good things happen senior year.”
“Was it Shakespeare or Milton who said that?” Bennett groaned. Looking at the bus with disdain, he watched as the honey-haired girl inside waved to her small group of friends. “Couldn’t she have just practiced here? I mean…” he shuddered for effect, “…it’s band. She would have been fine playing here.”
“One would hardly expect you to understand the importance of practicing a craft,” Beatriz said, crossing her arms over her chest with a smirk. Her chestnut brown hair was beginning to frizz in the summer heat, but rather than distract from her looks it only served to accentuate her flashing brown eyes.
“I’m fully aware of the meaning of practice,” Bennett shot back, adjusting his worn leather coat despite the warm weather. His surprisingly gray eyes looked over the group, a stunning contrast with his caramel colored skin and unkempt curly black hair. He suppressed a small groan when he heard Beatriz inhale a sharp breath, preparing to verbally spar with him – again.
“Have you ever played an instrument in your life?” Beatriz snapped while waving at her friend Heaven as the bus roared to life, signaling it would soon depart.
“I have played many,” Bennett said, nudging Donnie with his elbow. “I’m very aware of how to pluck the right strings and play the right keys.”
“Doubtful,” Beatriz said. “Have you looked at your hands lately? They’re disgusting. Not to mention that since you’re constantly using your mouth, your lips are in dire need of Chapstick. Perhaps you could remedy that with silence?”
“Silence would be too much to give you—”
“It would be a gift I would love—”
“And therefore you shouldn’t receive it—”
“Ugh, enough,” Donnie said. “Can’t you two go a few moments without making our ears bleed? We’re here to support Heaven, remember? Aren’t you going to miss her, Bea?”
“Of course I’m going to miss her,” Beatriz said. “I have no idea what to do with myself this summer without her.” She paused to think for a moment. “I suppose I could call Meagan—”
“Poor Meagan,” Bennett chuckled, lighting up a cigarette in the parking lot. Beatriz immediately smacked his hand causing him to drop it. Shooting her a sharp look, Bennett said, “Woman, you just cost me an entire cigarette—”
“Saved your lungs is what you mean,” Beatriz said. Ending her argument with Bennett, she turned to look at Clark, who was watching Heaven in a way she hadn’t seen before. “You gonna be all right?” she asked. “It looks like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Maybe I did,” Clark said, watching the bus leave as Heaven waved to all of them, her blond hair cascading around her heart-shaped face. “I’ve known Heaven for most of my life, but I don’t see her the way I used to.”
“You’re seeing her with eyes that are seeing her go,” Donnie said.
“I mean she’s not the same girl.”
“Don’t think too much about it. She’s gone and it’s not like you’ll be bored. You’ll play soccer with us and enjoy the summer before senior year starts. We’re playing Jason’s team several times this summer and I am not gonna lose to him.”
“You shouldn’t worry about her either way, Clark. Girls aren’t worth the trouble,” Bennett said, lighting another smoke before Beatriz could get to him. “Look at this one over here – she is more tongue than woman.”
“And you’re more mouth than man,” Beatriz snapped back, pointing at his cigarette. “If you insist on that you won’t be able to keep up with the team, coughing and panting like a man twice your age.”
“Twice my age would still only be thirty-six.” Bennett shrugged, continuing to take slow drags as the rest of the parking lot cleared out.
Donnie hopped into his gleaming convertible and started the engine. “Bea’s right,” he called over his shoulder. “We need your defense on the field, not your lungs.” He pulled away from the lot quickly, anxious to return to his usual workout routine in preparation for their first game against Jason. He would not be denied. Not this summer. This was going to be the summer he defeated his half-brother and perhaps finally caught Bea’s attention, who seemed only to have eyes for Bennett.
“Three months,” Clark groaned after the captain of the team had sped off. “Three months. What if she’s different?”
“Are you kidding? This is Heaven we’re talking about,” Beatriz said, smiling and linking her arm through his. The sun caught Clark’s face just as she looked up at him. He was a beauty, his attractiveness only rivaled by Heaven’s. “She’ll still be the same girl, it’s not as though we’ve sent her off to war. If Leo approves of her going to camp, then we should rest easy knowing she’ll be in safe hands.”
“Safer hands than yours,” Bennett said. “It’s so weird—”
“What is?” Beatriz interrupted.
“I don’t understand how a girl like Heaven manages to put up with you and that mouth of yours.”
“How anyone at all can put up with you is a mystery to me,” Beatriz sa
id.
“Oh Beatriz,” Bennett said, pretending to stab himself. “Your words wound me.”
“I wish they would wound you into silence. But no worries,” she said, pointing at his lit cigarette. “The weapon of choice is between your own fingers—”
“For now,” Bennett said, casting the smoke aside with a shrug. “I have to get ready for practice tonight. Donnie’s acting like we’re hosting the damn World Cup. You’ll be there tonight, right Clark? Or are you weakened now that Heaven has gone and you still haven’t told her how you feel?”
“Shut up,” Clark said. “Like you know anything about love—”
“Who’s to say I don’t?” Bennett asked, sidling up to his older Volvo. He rolled the sleeves up on his jacket, revealing a few stray tattoos, pleased that even Beatriz was unable to avoid looking at them.
“The only love you know is love for yourself,” Beatriz said. “Don’t worry about it, Clark. Heaven’s a sweetie and you can be sure that she won’t change after a summer with the band kids. If anything she’ll return more beautiful and more radiant than before.”
“Gotta love suntans,” Bennett said. “I’ll see you tonight, Clark. We’re expecting you to be there.”
“I should probably head out too,” Beatriz said. “I was planning on picking up something to eat on my way home, but since talking to Bennett I feel ill and don’t think I’ll be able to eat tonight.”
“Will you come to our game?” Clark asked.
“You know I’ll be there because Heaven wouldn’t want it any other way.” She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed Clark’s cheek in a friendly manner. “No stressing though, Clark. The summer will pass and you can finally work up the nerve to tell her how you feel. Who did Bennett say said it? Chaucer? Senior year anything can happen, right?”
Clark nodded, smiling down at Heaven’s best friend. “Heh, something like that. You’re right, Bea. Speaking of love though, you should ask Bennett out,” he suggested.
“Don’t be stupid,” she grumbled. “Bennett only cares about soccer and smoking, neither of which have anything to do with me.”
“You should see the way he looks at you. I think he cares about you.”
“In the same way I care for a pop quiz on a Monday morning,” she said. “Good luck, Clark. I’ll see you at the game. No more worrying about Heaven.”
“I’ll try not to,” Clark said, stepping into his own car. Watching Beatriz walk home, he put a pair of sunglasses on his face. His blue eyes went to the mirror and he smiled at the way they set off his sandy blond hair. It was a blessing not to be ugly. Maybe his friends were right and there wasn’t anything to worry about. Senior year was a short summer away and this was going to be the year he told Heaven how he felt.
“This is the year,” he whispered, starting up the car. “I’ll tell her when she gets back.”
Act I