“Then by all means, proceed.” He waved his hand to indicate I should continue to disrobe and eyed the corset I had on under my dress. His gaze fell to my panties and then down and back up my legs.
There was something so right and also so wrong about this guy. “I think I proved my point.”
“Too bad. I was looking forward to seeing those luscious tits. Sure I can’t convince you to take off the corset?” His gaze was fully fixed to where fabric met skin.
Read my lips. Not gonna do it. I did not need another lover. However, I was here to make some contacts and he didn’t look new to the scene. Maybe he’d know somewhere I could get more info on becoming a Dominatrix.
I held out my hand to him. “I’m Angelina Cruz and this is my...Dominic.”
He took it and kissed it. “I do believe I heard him call you Mistress. Is that what you like to go by?”
His penis twitched when he called me Mistress. Just what I needed, another sub in my life. At least he wasn’t another Dom. I definitely didn’t need any more of those.
“Mistress or Angelina, depending on the situation.”
“Ah, another switch. Isn’t that a hoot and a holler? We could have a lot of fun together, fulfill some fantasies on both ends.”
Was I a switch? I guess I must be, because I loved ordering the boys around, but damn did it float my boat when Gray took charge. I hadn’t really put a name to it. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
He still hadn’t let go of my hand and was swirling his thumb over my mine. “Would you like to chat each other up a bit and see if we’re compatible?”
“I’m not really looking for another partner. I’ve kind of got my hands full.” I finally pulled my hand away indicated to Dominic who had maintained his scowl from before.
Tate eyed Dominic up and down with some appreciation in his eye. “Your sub or your Dom?”
Dominic was a switch too, but it seemed important right now that I be the one who held the power. I didn’t want to show any weaknesses that anyone else could take advantage of. “Sub. He’s part of my harem.”
“I’m happy to include him in any play time.” He glanced back at Dominic, spending a few extra seconds on his package. I noticed another twitch.
I’d never met anyone bisexual before. I bet he had some interesting tales to tell. I could probably learn something from him. “You are into a lot of kinks.”
Tate dragged his eyes from Dominic’s body and back to me. “I’m an equal opportunity kinkster. I’ll top, I’ll bottom, I’m a damn good Dom and an even better sub. Men, women, somewhere in between, give me them all. Pony play, puppy play, rope play, fire play, I’ve done it. I just like to have sex and I’ll take it most anyway I can get it.”
Well well well. Maybe this dude was the contact I’d been looking for. “Pony play?”
He chuckled. “That’s what you got out of all that? You’re adorable. Yep, the ancient and wonderful art of pretending to be a horse. Would you like to be ridden hard and put up wet, darlin’?”
“I have no idea.” I knew there was a whole world of kinks I hadn’t explored, and what girl hasn’t fantasized about cowboys, but horses? I dunno.
He threw and arm over my shoulder. “Then you’ll have to come on down to the Red Ranch and try it out.”
“Where and what is that?”
“My club, down in Texas.” That arm creeped around and he ran his glass over the top of my breasts.
“What kind of club?” Please don’t say dance club. This could be my in.
“The kinky kind.”
Hell, yeah. “Oh really. Do tell me more.”
“Looking for a good business opportunity or a good time?” He was not talking to my face. My boobs however were getting tons of attention.
After the dry stint from Gray, I was reacting way more than I should to his attention. “Neither, or maybe both. I’m hoping to get some training.”
“Interesting. In what?” he asked my left boob.
“Would you mind if I asked you some questions?” I’m not ashamed to admit I flexed my pectoral muscles to distract him from the fact I hadn’t answered his question.
He grinned. “Not at all.”
We found some seats and I pulled out my mental checklist.
“I have a million questions, but how come you’re here in New York and not at your own club?”
“You see more than you let on. I’ll be upfront from the get-go, darlin’. The Red Ranch is struggling.”
“Uh-oh.” Maybe he wasn’t the right person to help me with my plans.
For the first time all night, Tate looked at me, not my boobs, but my face. He leaned back in the chair. “I’ve known Foster Bennett for years and am up here to work a deal with him.”
Mierda. “To buy your club?”
“No, no.” He laughed. “I wouldn’t let that bastard take my baby. I’m looking for investors in it.”
Hmm. If Foster was involved in Tate’s club that could be a problem. I’d just have to circumvent that. “If you’re looking for investors, I’m always looking for places to grow my money.”
“That’s an interesting offer, but money isn’t the problem. I’ve got the money to keep pouring into the club. What I need are some ways to grow my clientele. Foster blinks twice and gets new members. I need his marketing ideas.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know squat about running a kink club. I barely knew anything about the scene beyond what happened in my own home. Money I could do, but the kind of help Tate wanted was beyond me. I had nothing to offer him.
“If I can convince Foster to invest, he’ll share his marketing strategies and some of his girls with me.” He nodded toward the floor where some of the mostly naked serving girls were...uh, serving. Themselves.
“His girls?”
“Yep. They’ve got a reputation of their own and will bring in customers who want to play with them.”
“Interesting. We’re not talking prostitution, are we? Because that’s a deal breaker for me.” I might be overly naïve. It hadn’t crossed my mind that the women in this lifestyle didn’t truly wanted to be there. That they could be in it because they needed the money and were up for some exploitation.
“Hell no. This business is about more than providing a safe place for people to express their kinks. That’s a start, but without, let’s call them attractions, the business doesn’t grow.”
Attractions. Hmm. Tate needed something to draw people to his club and I needed experience. A new idea was forming in my mind.
No. It wouldn’t work.
Would it?
Those harsh voices in my head still told me I had nothing to offer. No one would come to a club to see or play with me.
Except Cade, Dominic, and Ilario wanted to play with me.
Gray wanted something more.
Something I couldn’t give him.
I swallowed down all those nasty fears that tasted of long-aged bitter self-hatred. All he could say was no, or laugh.
Gulp. I was really going to say this out loud. Ready? Go.
“How about me? I could be your attraction.”
Tate licked his bottom lip and looked at me with new interest in his eyes. He wasn’t rejecting my idea outright. That was a good sign.
“Well. That’s a fascinating idea.” He glanced over to Dominic and rubbed his chin. “Why don’t you and your harem come on down to Austin and spend a week at the Red Ranch with me. I’m sure we’d have a great time and test the idea out.”
Umm. I hadn’t actually thought he’d take me up on the offer so quickly. Gray would not like me trotting off to the Red Ranch any more than the Asylum.
Although there was something about this place that had him very reticent. He’d once offered to take me to any other club besides here, so maybe a week in a galaxy far far away would be good for the two of us.
Yeah. This could be the break with him I’d been hoping for. We could jet on down to Texas and start a whole new chapter together.
The m
ore I thought about it, the more excited I was.
Tate took my silence for caution and anted up something more.
“If the week goes well, I could offer you an apprenticeship. Work with me for say, six months or a year. You’d learn all the ins and outs and back ins of the business and the lifestyle. Anything your pretty little heart desires.”
That was a lot faster timeline than Gray’s six months just to train me in the ninja ways of BDSM before I even got to start in on the business side of it. This was perfect. Even if it would take some serious cajoling to convince Gray go along with it, he would. Right?
Just as I was about to agree, I spotted a familiar cranky-pants man stopping to talk to Jim. The rat. I glared at Dominic too. One or the other had tattled on me.
“What?” He shrugged and didn’t deny anything.
“You called Gray.” I was prepared for the consequences of being at the Asylum without him, but if he was here now it was going to throw a truckload of wrenches into the works before I could even reveal my brilliant new plan to him.
“What? He’s here? Now? Please put your clothes back on.” Dominic scanned the club and held my dress out to me.
Too late.
Gray walked right up to us and stood about five millimeters from me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Sneaking out behind your back. Probably not the right way to start the conversation. He was already pissed and that made my own hackles rise. I was already plotting my retaliation for his heavy handedness I could see coming. I certainly had learned how to do that lately.
“Making arrangements with Mr. Hall to visit his sex ranch and learn all about pony play. He said I could ride him later.” I put on my most innocent, angelic voice and batted my eyelashes at the Gray tornado. I did not want to have another screaming match with him, especially here at the club and in front of our saving grace. I couldn’t stand him raining on my pony parade.
“Hi, Tate Hall.” Tate stuck out his hand to Gray. It only took two of Gray’s huffed breaths for him to pull it back.
“Your Dom?” Tate asked me.
“Tate Hall meet Grayson Baker. He’s my something all right.”
“She. Is. Mine.”
I’m pretty sure flames shot out of his mouth.
Tate put his hands up and scooted his chair back. “All right cave man, don’t get all riled up. We’re just talking. I haven’t touched her.”
I rolled my eyes. I looked over at Tate. “Sorry about him. Excuse us for a minute.”
I grabbed Gray’s elbow and pulled him ten yards away to a dark corner. I wondered if all clubs had dark corners like this and how I could get Gray into more of them. They were very handy for having dark assignations. Or fights with my not boyfriend/lover/Dom.
“What are you doing with scum like that?” he snarled.
“He’s actually really nice. He offered to show me around his club and let me see his back end.”
“I bet he did.”
“That’s not what I meant. He’s offered me an apprenticeship to learn how to become a real Dominatrix. It’s the perfect solution.”
“You don’t think that’s a little bit convenient?”
I studied Gray’s eyes. He was so complex and the emotions flashed through him, concern, protectiveness, and what I dared to hope was feelings for me that went deeper than he’d ever let on.
“I don’t see how it could be. Please, just listen for a minute.”
He didn’t say no.
“By going to Texas and apprenticing at The Red Ranch I’ll get to learn about the BDSM lifestyle like you want me to. It won’t be here or at home and I think that’s better. I know you don’t want me at The Asylum, although I don’t really get why. Trying to train me at home isn’t working. This could be a new start for us. A way for us to both get what we want.”
I blurted my totally unprepared speech out. With each word I sped through my reasons. With each word Gray frowned deeper. With every single word I was losing this battle.
“Who do you think is going to teach you the BDSM lifestyle down there?”
A hollow opened up inside of me starting from my gut and working its way up to my heart. Everything was going so terribly wrong. Until that moment I assumed Gray would be the only one who would ever teach me. It was what we both wanted. It was always a bad idea to assume.
“We already agreed you would.” Oh how I wanted my voice to ring clear and confident. It was breathy and timid instead.
“You broke that deal when you played on the phone with Foster and then came to The Asylum without me.”
Joder. That hollow in my chest twisted and the pain hit me squarely in the heart.
I’d broken something important in our relationship when I’d decided to defy him. Independence or not, it had been my choice. Now, I faced my consequences.
If I bowed down to Gray’s demands he would be the gentleman I knew he was and go back to our arrangement. He was safe and comfortable.
My whole life had been sheltered.
Until a few months ago. I had never been more alive, more my real authentic self, until I left the safety of being the good little socialite and almost trophy wife. Gray had been integral to that transformation.
I couldn’t go back to being a kept woman. I held the tiny flame of hope in my heart that he would understand.
“Then let’s make a new deal. Come with me.”
“And live under the domain of Tate Hall? You realize he’s in Foster’s pocket, don’t you? I don’t think so. I’ll train you at home, and maybe, maybe, we’ll come here and play when I think you’re ready.”
“We already tried that.” For three whole long days where Gray ignored me and my wants and needs.
His gaze flitted back and forth between my eyes and darted down to my mouth. That tic in his jaw returned and he sighed. “I can see now orgasm denial may not have been the best way to start your training. I’d thought it would teach you about self-control.”
He wasn’t even listening to me. He wanted what he thought was best for me. Exactly like every other man in my life. Except for my harem. And Tate Hall. Enough. My choices, my consequences. “I’m going.”
“No, you’re not. No way.” His voice dropped to a low growl. The kind that used to put me in my place and make me afraid. His shoulders set into that tall warrior pose and he stared down at me like a peon.
He could glare and huff and puff all he wanted. I was done being controlled by men. By anyone.
I stuck my finger into his sternum and poked with each sentence. “Yes way, and you are not stopping me. In fact, you’re going to help me. I don’t need you to be a domineering asshole, Gray. That’s what I left behind with Marc and my father and all of their cronies.”
Gray was all hulked out, but I could see the Bruce Banner in his eyes. They tore into mine, digging into my soul. I dug back.
“You’ve never been one of them, Gray. It’s always been us against the world, and even when I wasn’t in the fight, you’ve been there to protect me, keep me from disaster. Tate Hall and his club aren’t a disaster.”
He shook his head and raised an eyebrow at me. “I’m not convinced of that.”
I was laying myself bare for him right now. Showing all my vulnerabilities to him. Only for him. My gut said to yell at him, my heart said beware. I softened my voice, hoping he would understand I was trying. “You keep saying we’re not ready to be together, which I think is crap, but if you want me to grow into the kind of woman you want to be with, this is it.”
His eyes flared. “Don’t give me the I’m-doing-this-for-us speech.”
“You mean the same one you give to me every single damn time we get even close to having a relationship?” I sucked in a breath. I got it now. For the first time, I understood Gray. “You’re afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Of us. Of taking me, of being together. You’re doing everything you can to control me from afar, but—”
I couldn’t
even finish my own sentence I was so floored by this revelation. Wow. Gray had controlled every situation, every scene. Not once had he taken that control for himself. He was scared of what would happen if it was ever just the two of us.
He moved back as if I’d pushed him. “I’m not the one being controlling here. You are. ‘Do this for me, Gray.’ ‘Do that for me Gray.’ ‘Watch me have sex with every man on the planet while I grow the fuck up, Gray.’”
What. The. Fucking. Fuck?
I spun on my stupid heel and sashayed my ass away from the asshole I thought was my friend and until ten seconds ago wanted to be my lover.
He was never going to be that to me. Not how we were now. We both needed to change if we ever hoped to find that with each other.
Every step I took, the anger leeched out of me and the sadness crept in. I had to do this. I had to.
“Tate. I accept your offer. I will be there next week, and I’ll be bringing my harem.”
Tate looked between me and the Incredible Hulk ten feet behind me. I dared him with my hands on my hips to be more afraid of Gray than me.
“Well, all righty darlin’. You’ve got yourself a deal.” He held out his hand and we shook.
Before the deal was even sealed Gray walked out of the club. Maybe out of my life.
For a full minute my feet and legs were frozen in place. None of my muscles wanted to move, probably because of the sub-zero chill that had washed over me. Strange that I would be sweating at the same time.
Should I stay, or should I go now? I wanted freedom and independence. I wanted to show Gray I could be the woman he needed me to be. I needed him to want me.
The path to get all that was to do the apprenticeship.
I was in danger of losing Gray forever, with only the slightest chance it would bring him back to me.
It was a risk I had to take. For us both.
I only hoped if I lost the bet, it wouldn’t break me.
CHAPTER THREE
Gray Ops
Gray ignored me for the whole week while I prepared for Texas. He locked himself in the garage during the day, but made sure there was a car out for me to drive. I didn’t go much of anywhere. It’s not like I needed more new luggage, clothes, or toiletries to take with me.