CHAPTER IV.
I was too much taken aback to do better than stammer out helplessly,hopelessly, almost unintelligibly, a few words striving to remind herof her own admission. Nothing, indeed, could take the sting out ofthis, and yet it was all but impossible to accuse her, to blame hereven for what she had done.
She read that in my eyes, in my abashed face, my hands held outdeprecating her wrath, and her next words had a note of conciliationin them.
"There are degrees of wrong-doing, shades of guilt," she said."Crimes, offences, misdeeds, call them as you please, are notabsolutely unpardonable; in some respects they are excusable, if notjustifiable. Do you believe that?"
"I should like to do so in your case," I replied gently. "You know Iam still quite in the dark."
"And you must remain so, for the present at any rate," she saidfirmly and sharply. "I can tell you nothing, I am not called upon todo it indeed. We are absolute strangers, I owe you no explanation, andI would give you none, even if you asked."
"I have not asked and shall not ask anything."
"Then you are willing to take it so, to put the best construction onwhat you have heard, to forget my words, to surrender yoursuspicions?"
"If you will tell me only this: that I may have confidence in you,that I may trust you, some day, to enlighten me and explain what seemsso incomprehensible to-day."
"I am sorely tempted to do so now," she paused, lost for a time indeep and anxious thought; and then, after subjecting me to a long andintent scrutiny, she shook her head. "No, it cannot be, not yet. Youmust earn the right to my confidence, you must prove to me that youwill not misuse it. There are others concerned; I am not speaking formyself alone. You must have faith in me, believe in me or let it be."
She had beaten me, conquered me. I was ready to be her slave withblind, unquestioning obedience.
"As you think best. I will abide by your decision. Tell me all ornothing. If the first I will help you, if the latter I will also helpyou as far as lies in my power."
"Without conditions?" And when I nodded assent such a smile lit up herface that more than repaid me, and stifled the doubts and qualms thatstill oppressed me. But, bewitched by the sorcery of her bright eyes,I said bravely:
"I accept service--I am yours to command. Do with me what you please."
"Will you give me your hand on it?" She held out hers, gloveless,white and warm, and it lay in mine just a second while I pressed it tomy lips in token of fealty and submission.
"You shall be my knight and champion, and I say it seriously. I maycall you to fight for me, at least to defend and protect me in mypresent undertaking. The way is by no means clear. I cannot foreseewhat may happen on this journey. There are risks, dangers before me. Imay ask you to share them. Do you repent already?"
She had been watching me closely for any sign of wavering, but Ishowed none, whatever I might feel in my inmost heart.
"I shall not disappoint you," was what I said, and, in a firm assuredvoice, added, "You have resolved then to travel forward in thistrain?"
"I must, I have no choice. I dare not tarry by the way. But I nolonger feel quite alone and unprotected. If trouble arises, I tell youcandidly I shall try to throw it on you."
"From what quarter do you anticipate it?" I asked innocently enough."You expect to be pursued, I presume?"
She held up a warning finger.
"That is not in the compact. You are not to be inquisitive. Ask me noquestions, please, but wait on events. For the present you must besatisfied so, and there is nothing more to be said."
"I shall see you again, I trust," I pleaded, as she rose to leave me.
"If you wish, by all means. Why should we not dine together in thedining-car by and by?" she proposed with charming frankness, in thelighter mood that sat so well upon her. "The waiters will be there toplay propriety, and no Mrs. Grundy within miles."
"Or your maid might be chaperon at an adjoining table."
"Philpotts? Impossible! She cannot leave--she must remain on duty; oneof us must be in charge always. Who knows what might happen when ourbacks were turned? We might lose it--it might be abstracted. Horriblethought after all it has cost us."
"'It' has evidently an extraordinary value in your eyes. If only Imight be allowed to--" know more, I would have said, but she chose toput other words into my mouth.
"To join us in the watching? Take your turn of 'sentry go'--isn't thatyour military term? Become one of us, belong to a gang of thieves,liable like the rest of us to the law? Ah, that would be trying youtoo far. I see your face fall."
"I am ready to do much to serve you. I would gladly help you, see youthrough any difficulty by the way, but I'm afraid I must draw the lineat active partnership," I answered a little lamely under her mockingeyes. Once more, as suddenly as before, she veered round.
"There is a limit, then, to your devotion?" She was coldly sarcasticnow, and I realized painfully that I had receded in her favour. "Imust not expect unhesitating self-sacrifice? So be it; it is well toknow how far I may go. I sincerely hope I may have no need of you atall. How thankful I am that I never let you into my secrets! Goodafternoon," and with a contemptuous whisk of her skirts and a laugh,she was gone.
"I'll have nothing more to say to her," I cried in great heat, vexedand irritated beyond measure at her capricious temper. I should onlybe dragged into some pitfall, some snare, some dire unpleasantness.But what did I know of her real character? What of my first doubts andsuspicions? She had by no means dispelled them. She had onlybamboozled me by her insinuating ways, had drawn me on by her guilefulcleverness to pity and promises to befriend her. I had accorded her anactive sympathy which in my more sober moments I felt she did not,could not, deserve; if I were not careful she would yet involve me insome inextricable mess.
So for half an hour I abused her fiercely; I swore at myself hotly asan ass, a hopeless and unmitigated ass, ever ready to be betrayed andbeguiled by woman's wiles, the too easy victim of the first prettyface I saw. The fit lasted for quite half an hour, and then came thereaction. I heard her rich deep voice singing in my ears, I felt thehaunting glamour of her eyes, remembered her gracious presence, and myheart went out to her. I was so sorry for her: how could I cast heroff? How could I withhold my countenance if she were in real distress?She was a woman--a weak, helpless woman; I could not desert andabandon her. However reprehensible her conduct might have been, shehad a claim to my protection from ill-usage, and I knew in my heartthat she might count upon a good deal more. I knew, of course, that Iought not to stand between her and the inevitable Nemesis that awaitsupon misdeeds, but what if I helped her to avoid or escape it?
The opportunity was nearer at hand than I thought. My kindlyintentions, bred of my latest sentiments towards Mrs. Blair, were soonto be put to the test.