Page 18 of Constant


  It would have been a serious problem if we’d have had to. I could pick a standard lock, but doctoring a safe was an entirely different beast. Besides, this wasn’t a Walmart brand. This was a pain in the ass.

  But thankfully, Fat Jack was a moron. “Like this.” My fingertips still hidden behind the sleeve of my sweater, I pulled the unlocked safe open.

  Sayer’s surprised snicker was all I needed to feel amazing, but what we found inside the safe was enough to give us serious credit with the bosses.

  His laugh quickly turned into cursing the asshole that lived here. “Holy shit,” Sayer rasped. “FBI. Is he fucking serious? The brothers are going to string him up by his toes and castrate the bastard. This is bad.”

  My skin felt itchy all of a sudden. I closed my eyes and remembered all the commercial vans lining the streets as we’d made our way here. “We need to go.” I grabbed the files, tapping them into a hasty pile. “Sayer, now.”

  We shared a look and then jumped into motion. We grabbed Frankie and Atticus from the main floor and hightailed it out of the house, sprinting through back yards and down side streets until we felt safe we weren’t being followed.

  We headed back to the party and handed over the information. We spent the rest of the night laughing and kissing and sneaking vodka drinks and ignoring the fact that after tonight, we would never see Fat Jack alive again.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Present Day

  I stepped out of my bathroom and glared at my phone where it was still plugged into the outlet by my nightstand.

  “This is stupid.” I didn’t know if I was talking myself or the phone.

  The clock read 6:57. My hair was half styled and I was wearing a bra, matching panties, and my thin, short-sleeve robe. It was time to call cabin eleven and give Sayer his first wake-up call.

  I loathed the idea. Everything inside me rebelled against it. I mean, how long was I going to let this guy hold me hostage?

  Granted it was only Wednesday morning, but I was already annoyed.

  And yet I couldn’t risk the fallout should I not follow through with Sayer’s request. Would he turn me in to the bratva? The Colorado police? To the FBI? Who was he working for these days? And how much danger was I in?

  See? There were too many unanswered questions to play this one loose. I was just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. Besides, it was only a wake-up call. I was still safe at home even. This was part of my job.

  I cleared my throat in preparation of making the call. And then I cleared it again. “Stop being stupid, Caroline, just make the dumb call.”

  I closed my eyes and prayed that it would keep ringing, that he wouldn’t be mean enough to answer, but—

  “Hello?”

  Uh… Uh… Blank.

  “Uh…” I pinched my nose and forced my brain to ignore the sleepy way he answered and the weirdness of hearing Sayer’s voice on the other end of a phone call after all this time. “Uh, this is Caroline with your daily wake-up call.”

  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Most of all was my groggy voice from my still sleepy body. I wanted to sound professional on the phone. Firm, yet sophisticated. Instead, I sounded like I’d just rolled out of bed and I needed to be quiet so my gentleman lover didn’t overhear.

  Which would have been fine if I had a gentleman lover!

  “You sound like you’re going to launch into the airplane safety speech, Caroline.” He emphasized my name. His words were cutting, meant to be harsh. “Try it again.”

  “You want me to try to wake you up… again?”

  “Yes.” He sounded fully awake now. I could hear him moving around on the other end.

  “I’m not going to—”

  “One more time,” he ordered. “With feeling.”

  I sunk down on the edge of my bed, taking a handful of comforter in my hand and crushing it in my grip until my knuckles turned white. With all the energy of a cracked-out chipmunk, I pasted on a fake smile and singsonged, “Good moooorning!” with as much pep as possible. “Time to wake-uuuuup!”

  He sighed heavily, like he was disappointed in me. “Yeah, that’s not working for me.”

  Juliet appeared in my doorway, rubbing her sleepy eyes with one hand and holding her blankie in the other. I quickly threw one finger over my lips, warning her to be quiet.

  She made a whimpering sound and I flung open my arm for her to cuddle into. She hated mornings. She would much rather stay up late with me than drag herself out of bed every morning for school or daycare. Weekends were our favorite because we both loved to sleep in.

  Running to me, she threw herself into the curve of my body and laid her head on my chest. I smoothed her hair with my free hand, praying she would stay quiet enough that Sayer wouldn’t know she was there.

  “You can’t be serious,” I argued with Sayer.

  He was unapologetic. Even though it sounded like he was pouring himself a bowl of cereal. “I’m paying for this, Six. You better make it good.”

  I dropped my head back and ground my teeth together in frustration. Fine, if he wanted to play games, we would play games. Only on my terms. Using the raspy-ness in my voice to my advantage, I dropped my volume and turned up the sex appeal. “Rise and shine, sleepyhead. It’s 7:07 on this gorgeous Wednesday morning. We’re expecting sunshine and temps in the mid-sixties today. Should be perfect weather for whatever evil deeds you have planned.” I was all breathy and tempting sexpot when I finished with, “Now it’s time for me to get dressed, so I’m going to hang up the phone, but if you need anything else, go ahead and bother someone else.”

  Quickly pushing end with a trembling finger, I tossed the phone to the other side of my bed and crushed Juliet against me. My entire body was shaking and it took everything in me not to start crying.

  I couldn’t keep doing that every morning. Was he insane? Had prison made him crazy?

  “Who was that, Mommy?” Juliet’s voice was muffled because of how tightly I was hugging her.

  I relinquished some of my hold and took her rosy-cheeked face in my hands. Her bright blue eyes were soft with sleep and her dark hair curled around a face that was a perfect mix of her father and me. “No one,” I whispered, trying to hide the emotion still lingering in my throat. “Just someone at the resort that needed help waking up.”

  She yawned wide and flopped back against me. “I need help waking up too.”

  My heart swelled, despite the trauma of having Sayer back in town. I knew I deserved his torment. I had been waiting for it for a long time. But what he would never understand was that it was worth it.

  This daughter of mine was worth it.

  I had promised Sayer my forever. I had sworn to never leave him, to always wait for him, to make it work for us no matter what. And I had meant everything I said. Juliet was the only thing on the planet that could have made me break those promises. She was the only thing worth destroying everything I had with Sayer and my old life.

  And she would always be worth it.

  “You do need help waking up,” I whispered into her hair. “How about we try a banana to start with? Do you think that would help?”

  “I think a donut would help better,” she suggested, sounding so sincere I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Oh, really? You need a donut this morning to get moving?”

  She dropped her head back, blinking up at me. “Well, it couldn’t hurt.”

  I threw my arms around her again and laughed harder. Where had she come up with that? I blamed Francesca. Like usual.

  “You’re right. It probably couldn’t.” She was so tiny, so fragile, so… perfectly sheltered from this awful world. I didn’t know how I was going to save her this time. I didn’t know how I was going to get her out of this mess I’d created. Only that I was. I wouldn’t let her get wrapped up in my sins. I wouldn’t let the poison of my past taint her childhood—or any part of her life. We were going to get through this. I was determined. Even if that meant becoming the criminal I l
eft behind. Even if that meant dredging up old ghosts I had meant to keep buried.

  Even if that meant leaving Sayer one more time.

  “Okay, how about this. If you brush your teeth until they sparkle—I mean, do a really good job—we’ll make time to grab a donut before school. You good with that?”

  She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!”

  I kissed her forehead, unable to let her go just yet. “Love you, sweet Juliet.”

  She kissed my chin. “Love you too, sweet Caroline.” Then she turned around and threw her hands in the air, singing loudly, “Bah, bah, baaaaah!” before running off to brush her teeth and get dressed.

  “Worth it,” I whispered again. “So, worth it.”

  An hour later, I walked into Maggie’s on the Mountain with a dozen donuts in one hand and two coffees in the other. Maggie stood behind the counter sorting newly arrived keycards and filling out their corresponding paperwork.

  “You’re an angel of mercy.” Maggie sighed when I opened the box of donuts.

  I set her large latte down in front of her. “There’s an extra shot in there just for you.” I opened the box of donuts. “And an apple fritter.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “What did you do wrong?”

  “What?” Avoiding her scrutiny, I got busy hanging up my jacket and stashing my purse in the file cabinet. “I had some extra time this morning. I thought I would be nice.”

  “You never have extra time in the morning,” she reminded me bluntly. “Are you quitting? Did someone else offer you a better job? Because it might pay more, Caroline, but not everything is about money, you know.”

  I laughed off her accusations. “I’m not taking another job. Although that Marriott in Breck won’t stop calling me.”

  “Corporate assholes,” Maggie mumbled under her breath before she turned back to me. “Okay, so what is it then? What do you want?”

  She was unbelievable. “Why do I have to want something?”

  “Caroline…” she warned while retrieving her special donut.

  Letting out a whoosh of nervous breath, I gripped the counter with two hands and made my request. “You know my old friend that’s staying here? Sayer?” She nodded, not noticing the strained way I said old friend. “He doesn’t know about Juliet. And I would like it to stay that way please.”

  I had been expecting an easy-breezy, “Sure, no problem!” But instead I got a frown and a skeptical, “Why?”

  My chest pinched. I thought, “Why can’t you just make this simple for me, Maggie?” Instead, I went with, “Why what?”

  “Why don’t you want your old friend to know about your daughter, Caroline?”

  Okay, so maybe she did notice the way I talked about Sayer. I rushed to keep my foundation of half-truths stable. “Because we used to date. And it didn’t end well. It would be weird if I just sprung it on him out of the blue. It’s something I’m planning to bring up eventually. I just want to do it slowly and carefully and make sure I protect Juliet.”

  “Why wouldn’t Juliet be protected if you just told him about her?”

  Goddamn her curious nature.

  “I don’t know.” I floundered like this was my first rodeo and I hadn’t thought my build-up all the way through. I had of course. I always had the foundation in place. But she was frustrating me this morning and my anger was clouding my judgment. “She would be fine, I guess. I just… I don’t know. I’m trying to preserve his impression of me, okay? He was my last serious boyfriend before Juliet. I just don’t want him to think… I don’t know what I don’t want him to think, but I do know that I would like to be the one that tells him. Eventually. When I’m ready to tell him. All I’m asking is that you don’t bring her up in the next six weeks unless I tell you it’s okay.”

  Her analytic expression didn’t change. “Six weeks?”

  “That’s how long he’s booked the cabin for.”

  A slow, smug smile stretched across her face. “Huh.”

  I waved a hand in the air and busied myself with organizing pamphlets for local attractions near the door. “No.”

  “What?” Maggie was all feigned innocence and doe eyes.

  “Don’t start with me.”

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “Yeah, but you’re thinking something. And it’s obnoxious.”

  “My thinking annoys you?”

  “Magdalen.”

  “What?”

  The desk phone rang interrupting the circling of our conversation. Maggie picked it up and answered with a short, “Front desk.”

  Over the last few years, I’d helped Maggie turn her resort around. Before me, she’d been bleeding money. She always had enough rentals thanks to the touristy area of Colorado she was located in, but she had been making inefficient decisions and not managing well. The problem was that she had too much business for just her to handle. There were too many guests and too many problems and too many balls to juggle—which was always surprising to me given Maggie’s less than winsome personality.

  “Sorry to hear that,” Maggie told the phone. “I’ll send someone over with them immediately.” She hung up and that smarmy smile came back. “Cabin eleven needs towels, Caroline. Apparently housekeeping didn’t stock the bathrooms after they cleaned on Sunday. Do you mind running some over there for me?”

  I suppressed a sigh. “They probably didn’t think we’d be renting it out until after the repairman dealt with the hot tub.”

  “I’ll deal with them,” Maggie strategized. “You deal with the towels.”

  “Can’t you make them deal with the towels? Isn’t that their job?”

  “Scared of cabin eleven, are we?”

  “No,” I told her. “I’m scared of towels. It was on my resume, I’m sure of it.”

  “Stop being difficult.”

  “Stop playing matchmaker.”

  She pulled out a stack of white bath towels, hand towels and washcloths from a cabinet behind her and set them on the counter, nudging them toward me. “I’m not doing anything of the sort. And I resent the accusation. I have my life to worry about, Caroline. I don’t need to worry about yours and the many men you date.”

  I started to wonder if she had been abducted by aliens and sent back as a robot. “The many men I date?”

  Her lips twitched, but she held onto her poker face. “Are there not many of them? There seem to be many of them lately.”

  “I think you’re having a stroke, Maggie. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

  She finally laughed. “You’re so easy to rile up.”

  I grabbed the cart keys and towels for Sayer. “I’ll remember this when Billy Bob comes back through for his ‘extended layover.’”

  She stood up straighter. “His name isn’t Billy Bob. It’s Bruce. And don’t put it in quotations like that. You make it seem sordid.”

  It was my turn to smile victoriously. “Isn’t it sordid? I thought that was the whole point.” She patted her bright red cheeks, so I had to keep going. Obviously. “Come on, Mags, you got a hot trucker boyfriend that likes to keep things spicy. Ain’t no shame in that game.”

  She glared at me. “Don’t keep cabin eleven waiting now.”

  “I’ll be back in a few.”

  “Take your time.” Always with the last word.

  I pushed through the door making a quick escape. She had no idea what it meant for Sayer to be here, at her resort. Thankfully. I cared enough about Maggie to keep her in the dark.

  But that also meant playing this game so she never found out—which was turning out to be harder than I thought it was going to be. And I had anticipated hell.

  Hopping in one of our little ATVs we used to get around the resort, I headed out to face the devil himself.

  I temporarily forgot about the monster in cabin eleven on the short drive to his cabin. I loved the mountain in the morning. The clouds clung to her side, dusting everything with hazy fog and making the golden light glitter where it broke through. And it was so
silent. There was reverence. A quietude that even the tourists understood. We tiptoed through the early hours, soaking up every second of the splendor.

  By the time I pulled up to Sayer’s cabin, I had marginally settled from the shock of seeing him Friday night, yesterday, and from calling him this morning.

  Not that I was less afraid or that I’d stopped planning to get Juliet and me out of this as fast as possible. But I wasn’t as jumpy. The shock of seeing him after all this time when I had truly believed I would never see him again had faded.

  Or I had at least stopped denying the reality of what was happening.

  Sayer was here. Sayer was in Frisco and at my resort and in my life. And didn’t appear to be going anywhere.

  Curling up in the fetal position until he disappeared again wasn’t an option. So it was time to face the crisis and figure it out. I was rusty, but I knew the game as well as anyone. I could be smarter than him. I could be faster than him. I could be more inventive than him.

  I just had to get over my bad attitude and start trying.

  Scooping up the towels from the passenger seat of the ATV, I headed up the rock path to the front door of his cabin. Our cottages were picturesque against the mountain backdrop. With wrap around porches and log cabin siding, they were about as adorable as could be imagined. They reminded me of little Lincoln Log cabins with their slanted green roofs and painted green doors.

  Sayer better fucking love his accommodations.

  The door was cracked and swung wide open when I knocked on it. I leaned back, not expecting for Sayer to have left everything open. There was only silence that greeted me. He was nowhere to be seen in the front room or adjacent kitchen.

  “Hello?” I called out.

  No answer.

  I knocked again and yelled, “Hello!” louder.

  Still no answer.

  Looking to the right, I saw that his Jeep was parked in the driveway, so he should be home. Besides, I might not have had one single conversation with Sayer in five years, but I knew the man well enough to know he would never accidentally leave his front door open.

  The man was paranoid.

  Like me.