“It’s just sex, Ares.”
His eyes flashed. “It’s more than that, and you know it.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t want to get attached to you any more than you want to be attached to me. But things are pretty intense all around us, and we could both use a break and a little pleasure. You asked if I’d ever been fucked, and I said no. Well, now I have. And I liked it. So quit being squeamish, and do it again.”
Spelunking had to be the dumbest word in the English language. Limos supposed that what she and Thanatos were doing in central Oregon’s underground lava tubes couldn’t really be called spelunking, since they weren’t doing much climbing or exploring, but Than seemed to delight in saying the word over and over just to irritate her. He had the oddest sense of humor.
She didn’t know how deep they were inside the mountains of the Cascade range, but they’d been chasing the fallen angel for at least two hours now, and this was getting boring. Besides, she hated caves. Too claustrophobic, too dark, and way too much like the region of Sheoul where she’d grown up.
“Why did Zhreziel pick here to run to?” she muttered, as she picked her way over a pile of unstable rocks.
Than glanced over his shoulder at her. “Is that a rhetorical question? Because I hope you don’t expect me to know the answer.”
She sighed. “I just hope your spirits are holding him.” Li and Than had found Zhreziel in New Zealand, where they’d battled, and then had chased him to Japan, Turkey, Korea, and now, here. Finally, Than had released a couple of his souls from his armor and sent them after the angel. They couldn’t kill Zhreziel, but their attempts would keep him grounded and unable to flash away.
“We’re close.” Than opened a Harrowgate to get them across a wide fissure. “I can feel them.”
They stepped into the gate and came out on the other side of the bottomless expanse. “Do you really think we can repair Reseph’s Seal?”
Accustomed to her rapid changes of subject, Than didn’t miss a beat. “Yes.” There wasn’t even a question for Than, even though all he had to go on was an Aegis engraving in Deliverance’s hilt, “From death will come life,” which could mean anything.
Limos had always found Than’s life of absolutes to be annoying, but in this case, she was glad to have him be so certain. She hated what Reseph had become, but she loved who he’d been. She just hoped they could repair the Seal before Deliverance was found.
Aegis bastards. She knew they had the dagger, knew because they’d taken it from her. Her brothers might believe that the Templars had lost it, but the truth was that she’d stolen it. It wasn’t something she was proud of, but she’d been… different back then. Truth was, she had been relieved when they’d stolen it back after they’d incapacitated her back during the Great Famine.
“Think we’ll see those two Guardian guys again?”
“Yes.”
“The R-XR dude, Arik, was kind of hot, don’t you think?”
“Never seen anyone hotter,” Than said, his sarcastic delivery so deadpan that anyone who didn’t know better might think he was serious. “He fills my dreams with his hotness.”
“Now we’re getting into TMI. Your wet dreams aren’t something I want to know about.” An agonized moan from deep inside the tunnel urged them on. Sounded like Zhreziel was getting his angelic butt kicked. She’d have had a little sympathy for him if he hadn’t punched her in the face and given her a bloody nose in Korea. Bastard.
“Just don’t be thinking the soldier is too hot. You need to stay away from guys like him.”
Guys like him? She needed to stay away from all males. When it came to sex, she and Than both had to be careful, but for very different reasons, and while Than couldn’t have intercourse, he could still enjoy someone else’s body if he chose to. Li could only look.
“Duh.” Than had a tendency to be a little overprotective. It was funny the way all her brothers were so different. Reseph had been her buddy, the one she’d party with. He’d always sit back and laugh when she got herself into trouble, not because he was laughing at her, but because he knew she could get herself out of it, and he got a kick out of the way she did it.
Thanatos was the overprotective one, always there to break heads if anyone pissed her off. He never gave her a chance to defend herself, because he wanted to be there to do it.
Ares took a stance somewhere in the middle. He let her handle her own issues, but if she asked for help—which was a rare occurence—he swooped in and struck fast, hard, and decisively.
They were all so cute and cuddly.
She wanted Reseph back, dammit.
They squeezed through an opening so narrow that Than nearly got stuck, and came out in a chamber where they found the fallen angel pinned to the cave floor, his struggles against the spirits failing.
Zhreziel snarled up at Limos—for some reason, he seemed to dislike her more than he disliked Thanatos—and called her a dozen or so unflattering names.
“Tsk-tsk,” she admonished. “You’re going to piss off my big bro—”
She didn’t even have time to finish, because, as predicted, Thanatos went psycho on Z-boy’s ass. It was all a bit unnecessary, but hey, the fallen angel really was a douche. How could any angel with a desire to earn his way back into Heaven not want the honor of bearing Ares’s agimortus?
Dude was selfish.
Than bound Zhreziel’s hands and feet, and then threw open a Harrowgate. “Time to go do your duty and save a human’s life.”
The angel glared. He seemed to have two expressions: glare and scowl.
Limos grinned. “Cheer up, dude. You’ll really like Cara. But if you don’t?” She leaned in, put her mouth right up to his ear. “Keep it to yourself, because Ares seems to have a thing for her, and right now, you really don’t want to get on his bad side.”
Well. She’d told him, hadn’t she?
And they’d certainly done it again, and though Ares had tried to go slow, to keep things leisurely, Cara would have none of it. Like the first time, she’d turned into a tigress who wasn’t going to accept less than what she wanted. He’d been too engaged to retreat, and in that moment when she’d been marking him with her nails and her gaze that dared him to stop her, he’d wanted nothing more than to claim her in the most fundamental way possible. To make sure she felt this warrior on her and inside her for days.
He was pretty sure he’d accomplished that goal, and male pride made him puff up as he lay next to her, listening to her catch her breath after her eighth orgasm. He’d come almost as many times himself, but he could still go another round if she wanted to. The ability to have multiple orgasms was one of the few bennies he’d gotten from having a succubus for a mother.
Cara snuggled against him, twining their legs together and settling her palm on his chest. “Thank you.”
“Sex with you isn’t charity work.”
She laughed, and the beautiful sound went straight to his heart. “I should hope not. But I wasn’t talking about that. I was talking about everything.”
“Everything?”
“Yeah, you know, for bringing me here. Showing me your world.”
He shifted his gaze to the night sky so she wouldn’t see the concern in his face. “Why would you be grateful to be here? You’re in danger. You’re dy—” He cut off with a curse.
“Dying. I know.” She pressed a kiss into his pecs and lay her head on his shoulder. “And at first, as you know, I wasn’t real happy about being in this situation. But then Reaver pointed out that I was stuck here, even if we can transfer the agithingy-ma-bob, and he’s right. I mean, it’s not just because of Hal. It’s because I know too much to really integrate back into the life I had. Which brings me to my point.” Her fingers drew random patterns on his chest as she spoke. Such a minor thing, but the intimacy in the skin doodles put a trickle of sweet warmth in his bloodstream. “I didn’t have a life. There’s nothing to go back to. Even if my time here is short, I’ve found something here that
I’d lost.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You said I was weak—”
He captured her hand. “God, Cara, I’m sorry.”
Her full, sensual lips parted on a smile. “Don’t be. You were right. But I’ve found my strength again.” She pulled his hand to her and kissed his palm. The tender gesture laid him out, knocked his emotions into a tailspin that he doubted he was going to pull out of. “See, back home, I’d been in a bad place for a couple of years. I was about to lose my house, I’d lost confidence in myself, and my boyfriend left me.”
He had to bite back a growl at the mention of the male. “What happened with your boyfriend?” Another long silence stretched, so long that he thought she’d fallen asleep. “Cara?”
“Yeah.” She wriggled in tighter against him. “Jackson left. He couldn’t deal with the attack.”
“Attack?” The way she said it set off alarms inside him. She’d flipped out earlier when he’d asked if she… oh, fuck. He’d asked if she liked being attacked. Yeah, he was ready to kick his own ass.
“I’m sure you don’t want to hear the gory details.” She shifted to look up at the star-strewn sky. “I love this place. I’d spend all my time outside.”
“That’s why I live here.” He feathered his fingers over her shoulder, loving how velvety smooth her skin was under his callouses. “And I do want to hear the gory details.”
A tremor went through her, and he tugged her closer. “Jackson was my realtor when I moved to South Carolina. I was recovering from my father’s death, and he was there for me. We dated, pretty whirlwind. He moved in after just a couple of months and helped me with my holistic vet business when the real estate market slowed down.”
“And?”
“And one night I’d come home from taking care of a sick horse. I walked in on three men robbing my house.” She swallowed audibly. “I tried to run, but they caught me and dragged me inside. They tied me up…”
“What did they do to you?” His mind worked overtime on the horrible scenarios.
“Nothing at first. They mainly just scared me. But then Jackson came home.” She shivered, and he grabbed the blanket off the back of the sofa to cover her. “They beat him, and then they made him watch while they…”
Something in his chest tightened into a cold fist. “They what?”
She nibbled her lower lip thoughtfully, as if searching for the right words. A decent man wouldn’t have pressed. But Ares wasn’t decent. And he wanted to know what happened, because he wanted to know who he had to kill.
“Cara? They. What?” Silence. His gut turned inside out. “Did they violate you?”
“No.” Her voice was small, and experience told him her trauma was big. “I think they were going to. They threatened me at first. Like they got off on my terror. It made them laugh to see me cringe when they pointed a gun at my face and threatened to blow my brains out. They slapped me around a little. Stuff like that. And Jackson had to sit there and watch.”
Ares had to force himself to breathe. The bite of shackles cutting into his wrists as he was gutted by helplessness and horror came back to him in a rush. He could even smell the tang of blood in the dank dungeon air where he’d been chained so he could witness his wife being murdered.
“Then what?” He was pretty damned proud of the fact that his voice was level, even if his emotions weren’t.
“My gift… the one I use to heal…”
I’ve killed with it. Oh, Jesus.
“One of them told me to strip. When I refused, he hit me. Fractured my cheekbone, I found out later at the hospital. The other men laughed.” She covered her ears as though hearing the laughter, and shit, that was enough.
“Cara, hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to say any more.”
But she was on a roll, as if she needed to spill it all before her time limit ran out. “He unzipped his pants and I… I… he died.”
“How did he die?” he asked quietly.
“The other men ran.” She didn’t answer the question, but Ares let her keep going. “They were gone and Jackson called the police.” Her breathing became ragged, and he ran his hand up and down her arm in a futile attempt to soothe her. “It’s kind of all a blur.”
“How did the man die?” he repeated, and she swallowed.
“The official report said heart attack.”
“And unofficially?”
Her entire body trembled. “I felt my ability surface, but it was different. It felt kind of… oily. When he grabbed me, I tried to push him away, and it just… happened. Like he’d touched a power line.” She closed her eyes, but Ares knew from experience that doing so didn’t block out the visions. “I killed him.”
“You did what you had to do, Cara. When your life is at stake, you can’t take any chances. Better him than you.” When she said nothing, he had a feeling she was torn on that point. “There’s something more, isn’t there?”
“Yeah.” She cleared her throat a couple of times. “Your brother, he asked if I got off on it.”
Ares growled. “My brother is an asshole for saying that.”
“No.” Her fingernails dug into his chest, and he wondered if she even realized it. “You’re going to think I’m awful.”
“Never.” He tipped her face up, forcing her to see the truth in his eyes. “There is nothing you could do to make me think badly of you. Understand?”
Her nod was full of uncertainty, and he wished he could do more to ease her fear. “Thanatos was right. It was horrible. But some part of me liked it. I can’t ever do that again.”
The guilt she’d been carrying around with her must have eaten her alive. “Cara, listen to me. What you felt was a rush of adrenaline, mixed with relief that the monster was dead.”
“But it felt good,” she whispered brokenly.
“Fuck yeah, it felt good. Felt good that the asshole was dead and never going to hurt you again. It’s okay to feel that way.” He doubted he was going to convince her that what he was saying was true, not in one five-minute counseling session, but he’d let her digest that for a while. “So what happened after that?”
Tension bled out of her body. She was obviously relieved to be off the subject of killing the guy. “The two other men ran off. Jackson and I did the police and hospital thing, but our relationship was never the same. He refused to talk about what he’d seen me do, and he couldn’t ever deal with the fact that he’d been helpless and unable to save me.”
Ares got that. But he also got the need for revenge-therapy. A sharp blade worked a lot faster than sessions with a shrink. “Did he find the assholes and kill them?”
In his arms, Cara jerked. “Of course not. The police caught them.”
Jackson was a damned puss. Ares would have hunted those fuckers down and showed them how justice was served back in his day. Which was why Ares had sworn on his very soul that he would see Chaos die.
“Are they in prison?”
“They served their time,” she said quietly, and he detected a note of bitterness. Ares made a mental note to do a little research into the crime and these guys. Maybe Hal would like in on the action too. Excellent way for them to bond. And Christ, he was thinking of getting buddy-buddy with the kind of creature he hated most?
Let a woman too close, and while she sucked your cock, she sucked your brains and manhood right out of you, too. An enemy had told him that, back in Ares’s human days. They’d called a truce between their armies, had shared wine as they negotiated terms of battle. In truth, Ares had liked the guy, and had they not been fighting on opposite sides, he might have called him friend.
One week later, in the thick of the fighting, Ares had shoved a blade through the man’s skull.
“So basically,” he continued, “this Jackson asshole abandoned you, and the guys who tortured you spent a few months in jail?”
“Basically.”
Damn, she’d taken a lot of blows in a short amount of time. “How long before the puss, ah,
Jackson left?”
“He made it a couple of months. He couldn’t look me in the face or deal with my issues.”
Maybe Ares would hunt down Jackson after he found the punks who had traumatized Cara.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. The quiet was comfortable, though, something that had never happened between Ares and a female. It was nice.
Until Cara brought up the one thing he really didn’t want to talk about. “Ares… you have a lot of guilt about your family, don’t you?” She pushed up on one elbow so she was looking down at him. “Guilt that your wife and children died, and you never told them how you felt about them.”
He tensed. “I loved my children.”
“I don’t doubt that you did.” Her soothing voice brought him down a little, and then she traced her finger over his sternum, and he settled even more. How did she do that? He’d seen her turn a damned hellhound into a gentle ball of fur, had witnessed her charming Battle right down to his hooves. “But you’re afraid they didn’t know that. So you built a shrine to them, but you don’t want to actually see it.”
He seized her hand, stilling it. “Stop with the psychology bullshit. What makes you an expert on shrines, anyway?”
A breeze made her hair fan out over his skin. Felt good. Too good. “After my mom died, I had all these things of hers… weird things, like ponytail holders. Her toothbrush. I packed them away, but I never looked at them.”
He frowned. “Because you felt guilty about her death?”
“Because I don’t remember telling her I loved her. I was little, so I probably did, but I don’t remember. I guess I didn’t want to keep her stuff where I would be reminded of that, you know?”
Yeah, he knew very well. But he didn’t like that Cara saw so easily through him.
“Ares!” Ares jackknifed into a sit and twisted his body to shield Cara from Limos, who popped out of the open door between the patio and the bedroom. “Ares, we got—” She cut off, a blush coloring her tan cheeks. “Oh, um, hi, Cara.”