His hands slowly dropped, spreading from my neck to my shoulders.
I gasped as his fingertips became nails, marking me with shallow grazes. Every touch hurled me into a hotter fire than the one before.
“And with freedom comes both relief and annoyance.” His hands suddenly dropped to the knot in my towel, tearing it free. The moment my breasts were exposed, he cupped me boldly. Weighing my sensitive flesh in his palms, he rolled my nipples with dexterous fingers.
I bucked in his hold, my eyelids growing heavy.
The cloud I existed in thickened, swirling with intense power. Q’s touch turned from pleasuring to orgasmic. Every twist and tug flamed my sensitivity, sending shockwaves erupting from my chest directly to my core. Every roll of his thumbs echoed in my clit, linking both erogenous zones like I’d never experienced.
“Ah.” I bit my lip, seeking more, chasing the promise of release. “Harder.”
His fingertips pinched my nipples. I thrust backward, spreading moisture on his thigh, rubbing against his erection.
He hissed, squeezing my breasts. “I always thought when I got you like this, I wouldn’t be able to hold on. But what happened in the hotel—it’s strengthened my control. It’s stolen some of the craziness deep inside.”
He removed his thigh from between my legs, giving me nothing to rub against.
I growled under my breath, frustration hot in my blood. “What happened in the hotel was consensual, Q. Just like now—I want you to lose control.” I arched my back, wedging his cock harder into my ass. “Lose it. Give it to me. The pill you gave me makes me crave everything about you. Sweet and safe isn’t what I want.”
He froze. “You’re saying you only want this because I drugged you?”
My eyes fluttered open, real life intruding on our sensual world. “No. I want this because I’m so horny. I want this because I miss you.”
His hand fisted in my hair, holding me still. “Do you remember me saying that—before everything that just happened? I told you I missed your fight—your spirit. Do you forgive me for making you believe? Do you forgive me for giving you substances against your will?”
His voice changed my heartbeat from slow and heavy to fast and light. “What do you want me to say? That I wasn’t terrified at swallowing something I didn’t know? Fine. I was. Petrified. I don’t know what you did to make me see Leather Jacket. I don’t know what happened between us while I was in some other dimension. I have no idea where we are. I don’t know why my entire body feels as if every touch is a tiny orgasm. I have no idea about anything.”
I stayed frozen, still held by Q’s fist. “But I don’t need to know. All I need is to trust you. And I do. Isn’t that enough?”
“No. It isn’t,” Q muttered, tugging on my hair. “You think you trust me—but I’m not so sure.” He bit the sensitive skin behind my ear. “I know what happened between us—I know what I almost did, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea to step into the dark so soon.”
My anger—that had been missing for so long—sprang into being. “Don’t. You can’t.”
“Can’t what, esclave?”
“You can’t deny me. I’m finally giving you the opportunity to bring me into your world and now you’re chickening out.” I stomped my foot, the haze in my brain tinging everything with red. “Take me. I’m not asking; I’m demanding.”
He chuckled. “Is that a threat, Tess?”
His tone shot right through my heart, granting equal measures of hot and cold. Yes. Say yes. Push him. Force him. My pussy clenched, hungry for sex. “Yes, it’s a threat. It’s about time you punished me. I’ve been bad—I deserve everything you can give.”
His heat disappeared as he took a step away, spinning me to face him. My back slammed against the table as the towel fell from my body, puddling on the floor. “Punish you? Why the fuck do I need to punish you?”
My chest fluttered, sucking in shallow breaths. The word ‘punish’ echoed in my brain.
Punish.
Punish.
I blinked. Didn’t he realize I knew he’d struggled with me hurting him? For weeks he’d shut down, dealing with whatever issues I’d put between us. I’d shut him out, made him doubt. I’d damaged him. “For that night,” I said, not needing to elaborate.
Q snarled. “You think I’m still hung up on that?” He gripped my hips, digging his fingers painfully. “You let me bring you back to life. I couldn’t be more fucking grateful. And if you knew what I’d done only an hour ago, you’d know it’s not you who needs forgiveness.”
His voice softened, something dark filling his eyes. “I told you never to lie to me, but I lied to you.”
What? My heart lodged in my throat. I frantically searched his eyes. “Why? How?”
He shook his head slowly and with such finality all my pixie dust and lustful haze disappeared, leaving me a block of ice. “Q?”
Looking deep into his gaze, I shrank away at the bleak resolution reflecting there. “It wasn’t what I said—it was what I thought. All this time, I’ve been annoyed at you for not trusting me. And now you do trust me…but I’m not sure I trust you.” Sighing, he pressed the tip of his nose against mine. “I accept everything you’re giving me. I want to let go—not fully, as I don’t have the power to come completely undone—but enough to show you what I need. I want to hurt you. I want to make you cry—I want to punish you, Tess, but I don’t trust you’re doing it for the right reasons. I think you’re doing this entirely for me and not for us.”
Was that true? Am I giving him my pain, with no limitations, purely for his pleasure?
No, I didn’t believe that. I’d been so wary of everything Q had to offer up till now. I’d wanted it but skated around it at the same time. This time…I truly wanted to fling myself head first into his world. And his refusal frustrated the hell out of me.
With gentle fingers, I hooked them into his towel, fumbling to undo it. His eyes darkened as the damp fabric fell away from his hips, leaving him naked, crowding me against the table.
“No more thinking. Put our demons to rest right here, right now. Let me prove you can trust me. I’m done being scared, Q. I’m done being weak. I’m going to love everything you give me. I’m going to scream and come and cry. And then I’m going to fall in love with you even more and demand you marry me the moment the sun rises tomorrow.”
Q shuddered, looking as if he wanted to strike and consume all at once.
I froze, waiting to see if he would kiss me.
He didn’t.
“Do you know what hurt the most?” he muttered.
“No.” I worried he’d slipped into insecurity, talking himself out of whatever was about to happen.
“It was your willingness to hand over your sanity and happiness. And now you’re doing it again and it’s fucking with my head—”
“I’m not doing it again. I really—”
He bared his teeth. “I haven’t finished. Don’t interrupt.”
I dropped my eyes, flushing with heat.
“You’re fucking with my head, but this time…I believe you. I believe you’re doing this for you, too. I believe you do want me to make you scream, and I’m going to fucking love it.” He gave me a half smile looking like the true devil in the darkness. “Does that scare you?”
There was no lie. No half-truth. “No.”
His body shifted; the air filled with promise. In one swift move, Q spun me around, imprisoning me against his front and the table. The edge of the wood dug into my hips as he folded over me, pressing his chest on my back until my breasts squashed against the felt.
With nothing between us, his skin burned mine, intoxicatingly delicious.
“Good answer. This time— Je te crois.” I believe you.
My heart sprouted feathery wings, tickling my chest in hope. “You’re going to give in?”
“I’m going to give in, but not let go.”
Okay, that would have to do for now. “You’re going to trust that I
want this as much as you?”
His hands trailed over my sides. “I’m going to trust you, esclave.”
“You’re going to punish me?”
“I’m going to punish you.”
“How?” I whispered.
Q paused. “How?”
“How are you going to punish me? I want to hear you say it.” Locking eyes with his over my shoulder, I squirmed against the table, dropping my hand to my front, touching the wet heat between my legs.
Q’s nostrils flared, his gaze riveted on my disappeared hand. “Tess—fuck.”
I’d missed this—taunting, provoking. He may be in control, but I had all the power. I moaned as I stroked downward, loving how slick he’d made me.
Harsh fingers latched around my wrist, yanking my hand away. Anger decorated his face, along with sharp-edged desire. “That’s not yours to play with. That’s mine. And I’ll tell you how I’m going to fucking punish you. I’m going to taste every inch of you. I’m going to steal all your inhibitions. You’re going to come on my fingers, tongue, and cock. You’re going to unravel, Tess, and I’m going to lick up every drop.”
His hand twisted my neck, tilting me sideways to kiss me. His mouth crashed against mine, swallowing my moan, locking his arms around me. I couldn’t do anything but accept his brutal assault. I skipped from reality the moment he caught my tongue, sucking as if every inch of my mouth belonged to him.
I knew what I was letting myself in for. I knew Q wouldn’t take it easy on me. I also knew I never wanted anything more in my life.
Kicking my ankle, Q spread my legs, positioning his cock right in the centre of my ass. Breaking the kiss, he growled, “Time for talking has ended, esclave. Now’s the time for fucking.”
He’d said something similar just before whipping me on the cross. A thrill shot through my blood; I melted.
A hand landed on my ass, bringing with it flames and thunder. I jolted in his arms, biting my lip against the pain. “I’m going to own every inch of you tonight. Including your mind.”
I couldn’t breathe. Even the purple clouds floating in my blood couldn’t stop one question blaring in my head.
Do I still want this?
Did I still want pain or had that been false bravado—making me believe my own lies.
Q’s hand came down again, striking me in the same place, igniting a bonfire. My eyes prickled with tears even as the fire from my skin slowly migrated into my blood, heating me, dissolving every inch of my past.
Yes. Yes, I do.
The knowledge sent my hips rolling, provoking Q as I wiggled.
He struck me again, lower this time, more thigh than ass, but it felt just as good. A stinging good—a pain I’d forgotten how to compute, but my body remembered. I gave myself over to it. I wanted to turn my mind off completely.
“Who fucking hurt you, esclave?” Q demanded, striking me again.
Huh? I blinked, clawing my way back to conscious thought. Looking over my shoulder, I locked with his wild eyes. It took a moment for the question to sink in, but then I knew. I knew what he wanted.
For the first time, I let myself get angry. Terribly, ridiculously angry. At them. I snarled, “They did.”
Q narrowed his eyes, breathing hard. “Who caused you agony?” His hand stroked my burning skin before slapping me again—the hardest one yet.
Uncomfortableness flared, along with a rush of pleasure. I filled with reckless, needy energy. “They did.”
“Who stole you from me?”
“They did.”
“Who taught you to run from pain?”
“They did.”
His hand lit up my ass, followed by his fingers tracing my crack. He dipped his touch between my legs, moving tortuously slow.
I panted and writhed, caught in the sparkly web of anticipation. Touch me. Stroke me. A whisper of a caress then Q removed his hand, teasing me to the point of rage.
“Who will make you love pain again?”
I wanted to demand he touch me, but I gave him what he wanted. “You will.”
“Who will grant you freedom with pleasure?” His fingers dipped again, feathering over the delicate skin. This time he granted me one stroke—one mind-blowing stroke across my clit.
His touch was a weapon. An aphrodisiac. I was wet. Slick. Desperate.
Q’s voice thickened to a growl. “Who will make you come while hurting you?”
“You will,” I gasped as his touch went lower, dipping between my folds, driving me insane.
“Who will make your body remember? Who will keep you safe?”
“You, Q. Just you.”
His hand disappeared. I moaned at the lack of stimulation, then cried out as he fisted my hair, wrenching my head upright. His lips found mine, his dark taste invoking a primal urge inside.
He stole my thoughts, my sanity. My hands shot behind me, digging my nails into his firm ass, yanking him forward to thrust against me.
His kiss was a hammer, his fingers a wrecking ball—with each one he smashed the remaining glass prison in my mind, making me his equal, but also keeping me firmly in the position of submissive.
A wash of gratefulness filled my heart. I was unbelievably lucky. So blessed. Q not only gave all of himself, he also made all my black desires come true. We truly were born for each other.
He panted in my mouth, rolling his hips, taunting me with the one thing I wanted most of all. His teeth captured my bottom lip.
And bit.
I cried out as my skin broke. A trickle of metallic fed from my mouth to his. Q seethed, seeming to increase in size until all I knew was him. The moment my blood hit his tongue, it was over.
No going back.
Only going forward into sin.
“God, I want to bite you, drink you. I want to drain you, so you live in me always,” he grunted, picking me up in one arm, hoisting me higher on the table. Only my tiptoes reached the floor while my breasts squashed against the felt.
His nose tickled my spine as he kissed his way down to my tailbone. “Put your hands on the table, and don’t move.”
I trembled but obeyed. I ran my hands along the fuzzy fabric, relishing in the desire sweeping in my blood.
Looking over my shoulder, he smiled. It transformed his face from brooding to boyish until it was gone, replaced with a cocky smirk and possessive glint in his eye.
“Stay exactly like that, with your glowing ass ready for my pleasure.” With another spank, he disappeared into the darkness like a ghost.
I swayed a little, my tiptoes straining to keep still—exactly as Q demanded.
Not having his heady presence close by, the pixies and nymphs in my chest sent more dust through my body, tingling, warming until I shuddered with ideas of what would happen next.
Where is he?
I looked around the room.
I saw nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Nothing else mattered but the pool table, the darkness, and Q—wherever he was.
I loved the anonymity. The unknowing.
A metal clink sounded a few paces away, followed by a footstep.
Then silence.
We could be married for years, and I would never get used to how silently Q moved.
Slowly, goosebumps spread over my arms. It wasn’t nerves dancing on my skin but excitement. I wasn’t cold or terrified. I was weightless and buoyant, waiting for my master to return.
A hand landed on my waist making me leap upright. My heart bucked in surprise.
“Jumpy, Tess? Afraid of what’s coming next?” Q didn’t wait for my answer. He pressed my shoulder blades down, stalking around the pool table to the other side.
His eyes were the only pinpoints of light until he flicked a switch, bathing the apple felt with a golden glow. The chandelier above painted us with golds and burnt oranges from the tinted crystals.
Q no longer looked devilish but royal.
My heart flew free, fluttering to the ceiling.
“Donne-moi tes mains.” Give me your hands. The order whispered through the golden light, quintessentially him. His raspy, melodic voice had a power over me he wasn’t aware of. I instantly locked my wrists together, jutting them toward him.
Q didn’t say a word as he accepted my gift, wrapping soft, black fabric around me. The silk looked like morbid blood, as if I’d slashed my wrists in a fit of insanity.
The moment he’d restrained me, Q tugged the cord, making me stretch even further across the table, securing it somehow. Once tied, he strolled back toward me, setting my heart jumping and body dissolving under his intense stare.
My back was icy cold while my front was toasty warm. The two sensations, coupled with my lack of mobility, made my lungs suck in air as if oxygen was about to go extinct. The closer Q came, the more lightheaded and woozy I was.
I flinched as he cupped my ass.
“What are you going to do?” I didn’t bother testing the binds. I knew Q—he had a way with ropes—there would be no chance of escape.
“Sometimes, the only way to make your dreams come true is to shatter them,” he said, circling me like a predator. “Sometimes, the only way to make your nightmares disappear is by facing them.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. “I won’t have nightmares anymore. I faced those issues today.”
Q stopped behind me. “That may be true, but I’m all for making sure.” He ran a harsh hand down my spine. He stepped to the side; I tensed for a wallop. “But maybe I’m not talking about your nightmares anymore.”
His hand darted to the side, reaching something I couldn’t see. I sucked in a breath as the same hand slinked around my hips, moving toward my pussy. His touch caused me to press my head harder against the table, cursing my trembling legs.
Without a word, Q stroked my folds, smearing my wetness with forceful fingers. My eyes snapped shut as sparks erupted from his touch, then popped wide as something firm and unyielding clamped around my clit.
It throbs. Fuck, it throbs.
“Q?”
“You get one question. After that, I refuse.” His voice thickened with his accent.
I squirmed, trying to figure out what he’d pinched on my clit. For the life of me I had no idea. “What did you use?”