We’ll finally find peace in the dark—
There was no ending, almost as if Q couldn’t bear to write another word. Not even a full-stop gave closure to such a brutally exposing letter.
I’d been living a lie. A lie where I thought I only loved Q. I didn’t love him. I adored him. I worshipped him. I was alive because of him.
Light and colour and effervescent joy gave me the strength to slap away my guilt and embrace what Q just showed me.
Forgive him? There was nothing to forgive. We were both victims of cause and effect—pawns in a game of happiness and loss. We had each other—we won in the end despite everything we’d been through.
“I don’t need to say any vows, Q. You own my soul already.” I glanced at his frozen form. “I don’t need to forgive you because there’s nothing, nothing, that you’re guilty of. No crimes. No sins.” I waited for some acknowledgement that he was listening. He remained unyielding in the chair, only a twitch of his hand signalled he’d heard.
The airplane tyres slammed against tarmac as we went from flying to charging down the runway. My heart had been left in the clouds, dancing with the knowledge that a man so loyal and amazing as Q loved me.
I’d gone from unwanted to idolized. The shift in my world was so earth-shattering, I didn’t know how I stood or followed Q down the steps after we’d taxied to the airport. I existed in a bubble of awe as Q guided me into a sleek black limousine, and we pulled out of the airport. We hadn’t spoken, too flayed open to risk admitting that his letter had done what words could not. It gave us hope.
Safely seated in the back of the limo, Q turned to me, asking softly, “Now, do you understand?”
My eyes shot to his, holding his tortured gaze. “Now, I understand.”
We’re altered, we’re abnormal, our souls stained with each other’s mark. Our souls are that of monsters born in the dark
Time was a fickle bitch.
It seemed only hours since I met Tess. Seconds since I touched her for the first time. Only moments since I hunted for her to take her home. All those blocks of twenty-four hours that built a wall from ever finding her had disintegrated, seeming to hurl me headlong into the future—the future I wanted so fucking bad.
My heart stopped as my mind filled with Rio. Seeing her like that—naked, tortured, bound—enraged me to the point of shedding all human fakery and turning savage. The metallic stench of death still coated my nostrils; the warmth of spilled blood steaming on my hands. Tess had looked like a corpse—a cracked out, mentally broken corpse. They’d infected her mind, her lungs, her very fucking soul, and I’d stolen her back only to lose her all over again.
It seemed only a minute ago when Tess walked away from me, shutting herself off forever, inciting panic, causing me to free all my birds because I couldn’t stomach the thought of ever caring for another life. It felt as if it were yesterday when I broke down and let her take my life—using me to spew all her internal blackness away.
I’d hoped it would be enough. I’d hoped I no longer needed to watch the hands of time, fearing Tess’s state of mind.
But time liked to fuck with me.
Instead of Tess growing whole again and leaning on me to help, she lied.
Every lie she told whittled at my temper until I knew eventually I’d explode. I could only accept her tales for so long before I forced her to tell the truth.
For three weeks she healed. We spent time together as man and woman rather than master and slave. We became friends.
Friends who didn’t tell each other anything.
I sat in the back of the limousine staring at the woman who owned my balls, body, and heart, but ultimately she was a ghost. An unknown riddle of human spirit who was too stubborn to burden me with any of it. Why couldn’t I get her to accept me? Why didn’t she trust me to help? She’d let me brand her. She wore my ring. I knew she was mine. But the knowledge meant jack-shit when she lied so blatantly.
Nothing would grant me peace because I knew she had no peace. It was elusive, evasive, and I was fucking tired.
Tess suddenly scooted across the seat, pressing against my side. Her blue-grey eyes connected with mine, looking so pure, so fucking ancient. Her soul was mangled and bruised and the light that’d always existed no longer glowed like the cosmos; now it flickered—spurting with blinding light only to be dimmed by sorrow. Sorrow she refused to talk about.
I’d tried to show her the depth of my feelings by sharing that ridiculous letter. I’d regretted giving it to her almost instantly—those were my chaotic thoughts, not for her to read. Scribbled in the dark while she thrashed with dreams.
But in a way, I was glad she’d glimpsed into my psyche. She owed me the same courtesy. I could force her to share hers—a trade.
Grabbing a handful of her silky blonde hair, I held her still. Threading my hands through the strands, I made my way till I cupped the back of her neck. Her cupid lips parted, sending a thrill through my stomach to my cock. I’d struggled the entire four hour journey with a massive hard-on. She’d kept her eyes closed most of the way, but I knew she wasn’t asleep.
I knew because she wasn’t drenched in sweat and screaming like the holocaust had come again.
“Let me fight them for you, esclave.” My fingers tightened around the delicate cord of muscles. She felt so breakable, so damageable. It was a lie. Her body may bleed, her bones may break, but her mind? That was a fucking fortress.
And I wanted in.
I wanted to ram the gates, cross her moat, and send an entire army of artillery to massacre her nightmares. I needed to know what swirled and swelled behind her eyes. I needed to know how to help her.
“Just by being you, you’re fighting them for me.” She bowed her head beneath my hold, giving me her weaknesses, her vulnerability.
My mouth went dry at the thought of threatening her. Squeezing her throat until she spilled her unspoken secrets. Maybe then I’d find the truth.
Forcing her to meet my eyes, I murmured, “I’ll be by your side forever, but I won’t allow you to push me away again.” Brushing her nose with mine, I added, “And I sense it, Tess. Your reluctance to tell me. You’re floundering on your own, and it’s pissing me off that you’re not leaning on me. So lean, otherwise, I can’t promise I’ll keep my temper.”
The opaque screen between driver and car interior slid down. I glowered as Franco spun in his seat, cocking his head. “We planning on sitting on this runway all day, or do you have a destination?”
Tess spun in my hold; I let her go. Her perfectly white cheeks rushed with colour. “Franco. What? How…” She gawked at my head of security.
Tess and Franco had formed an unlikely alliance. He’d treated her roughly when she first came to me—feeding off my need, letting himself taunt a slave who wasn’t broken. He’d chased her when she ran, he’d hunted her when she was stolen, he’d been beside me every step, and I knew he had a deep respect for Tess. Even though he took a while to forgive her for leaving me bloody and oozing a month ago.
Franco’s green eyes connected with Tess as I relaxed into the seat. I would never admit it, but I liked watching them interact. I liked that Tess wasn’t afraid of him. I liked that Franco had developed an older brother protectiveness toward her.
When Franco didn’t reply to Tess’s mismatch of questions, she shifted in the leather to face him. “How did you get here?”
“Who do you think flew the bloody plane?”
Her eyes flew to mine; I kept my face blank. I shrugged, holding back a smile as she whipped to look at Franco again. “You fly, too?” Her shoulders were tense, head cocked warily. A swell of pride filled me. She didn’t believe him.
As she shouldn’t. He was a bullshitter.
“He flew in the cockpit to give us privacy,” I said, letting the small smile twist my lips.
Tess’s eyes locked onto mine. The blue looked softer, warmer. She must’ve known I wanted privacy in the hopes of another membership into the mile-hig
h club.
I still couldn’t get the thought of her on her knees with her cheek pressed to the helicopter carpet out of my mind. My cock throbbed at the memory of driving into her from behind. She’d been so hot and wet. After denying her an orgasm and being pissed at her for making me come against my will, the tension between us was out of this fucking world.
I swallowed, remembering how wild she'd been when I spanked her. How her back arched and she moaned that delicious fucking moan.
It had been the last time we’d been connected completely. Master and slave. Dominator and dominated. It linked us more than anything. It also made me realise I would do absolutely anything for this beautiful woman until the day I died.
It was also the day she disappeared.
Fuck. Even that memory was tainted by the bastard traffickers.
My hands curled on my thighs, wishing to all that was mighty to reincarnate Red Wolverine so I could rip open his chest, cut out his heart, and feed it to him while he choked for life.
Franco smiled, looking less civilized and more feral these days. Rio had changed both of us. “Privacy, huh? Doubt you’ll get much of that with a wedding coming up. You’re a lucky little lady, not having any in-laws to impress. Mercer, on the other hand, better be on his best behaviour.”
Tess leaned back in her chair, fastening her seatbelt. “As far as I’m concerned, we’re both on our own in this world. Just him and me.” She flashed me a look full of shy promise and blatant loyalty.
Fuck me, I loved her. Overpowering awe grew day by day inside me. I’d sold my soul to her.
Her.
This woman who I would never take for granted.
I grabbed her hand, linking my fingers through hers. I didn’t say a word. I didn’t need to. Our souls did enough talking.
“Take us to the island, Franco. I need to take Tess somewhere completely private.”
Her fingers twitched in mine. “Wait…what island?” Amazement widened her eyes. “Oh, my God, you own an island? We’re getting married on an island that you own?”
Franco laughed. “Guess what it’s called. Go on. You’ll never guess.”
Tess shook her head. “You own an island that you named?” Her fingers went loose as she looked at me like I was a stranger. “This is too much. Q—how…” Her question faded under the weight of wonderment.
I hated that. Hated the look of awe and confusion. Just like she looked at me when I showed her Moineau Holdings for the first time. She made me so fucking self-conscious of my wealth.
Yes, I own an island.
Yes, I’m fucking rich.
Yes, I’m happy I’m loaded because without it, I would never have found you.
Be fucking grateful rather than afraid.
My heart raced and I opened my mouth to yell, but Franco jumped in before I could upset her. “It’s called Volière.”
My heart thudded at the word. At the time, it was perfect for the slice of paradise. Now, I wished I’d named it esclave. After her.
Tess whispered, “You named it Aviary?”
Everything inside me was hot, boiling, exploding. Did she have a problem with everything related to wealth, or was it shock making her look at me so intensely?
I scowled. “Yes, I own an island. Yes, I called it Volière. No, I don’t feel guilty for owning it, and no, no-one else has been.”
Franco chuckled. “Shit, boss. She was only asking.” Grinning at Tess, he whispered, “You’ll love it. Looks exactly like the owner.” Spinning around, he slid the partition back into place, and the car rolled into motion.
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Just like me? The entire island was overgrown and wild.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, Q,” Tess said, her eyes dancing worriedly over my face.
Shit, I couldn’t do anything right. Not while I had so much bubbling inside. How could she know my anger was at her but not at her? It didn’t even make sense. My frustration was at her nightmares not because she had them but because she didn’t share them. My brain hurt.
“I know, esclave. I didn’t mean to snap.” Giving her a soft smile, I added, “I’ve owned it for a while. It was one of the first things I bought when I took over the family empire.”
“Tell me?” Her hand shot to hold onto the door handle as Franco took a corner too fast. Her slim body slid on the shiny leather reminding me yet again she was so fucking tiny. She still had a few kilos to gain before getting back the stunning sexy curves she’d had before.
I frowned, letting my mind rewind to ten years ago. “I bought it off a floundering investor.” I shrugged as if it was the most natural thing in the world to own a tiny haven. “He accepted a lowball offer, then I had to fork out three hundred thousand euros to have a water purifier installed.”
I glanced at her, making sure she remained in the car and hadn’t flown away from sheer fear. Fear of what? Money? I’d never met anyone so averse to wealth. Or not averse. Just overwhelmed.
A small burst of happiness soothed my annoyance. At least you know she’d marry you if you were dirt poor. She wasn’t marrying me for my bank account or what I could give her.
She’s marrying me because she loves me.
The knowledge sucker-punched me every fucking time.
“It’s untamed. Uninhabited. Completely impracticable, but none of my associates knows I own it and no one will find us there.” I’d protected Tess from a lot of things—things like the consequences of killing Red Wolverine and slaughtering his operation.
That sort of stuff had large ripple effects. Payback was coming. I was sure of it.
I didn’t need to tell her why I had the sudden urge to hide her. If I didn’t keep tabs on the need to shut the world out, I could easily become a recluse with sentries on my front door and drones flying overhead, ready to sniper anyone who came within fifty metres.
Might not be a bad idea.
Wolverine and his operation might be dead, but there were others. Way too many sick and twisted fucks in the world.
“And we’re getting married there?” Tess asked. “How will that work if no one knows it exists?”
“Franco will source a justice of the peace or a celebrant—whoever you want to marry us—and he can be our witness.”
Tess bit her lip, thoughts parading in her eyes.
I almost groaned or wrung her neck—either to get her to finally speak to me. “What are you thinking, esclave? You don’t like this elopement idea?”
She smiled hurriedly, giving me reassurance I so stupidly needed. “No, I love it. I love the thought of our own private paradise. Just us. But…”
I swiped a hand over my face. “But…” Goddammit, get to it so I can annihilate your concerns.
“Well, not that I mind of course, but I don’t have anything to wear.”
“You don’t need a white dress. That’s just a gimmick.”
She laughed. “I suppose so. I’m not a girly girl, so I don’t mind not having the princess dress or the flowers or the food but...”
I sighed heavily. “Another but.”
Her face flushed. “I want it to just be us, but… and I don’t want my family there as they aren’t part of my life anymore—” flashing me a shy smile, she rushed “—you’re my new family. My chosen family.”
Goddammit, she knew just how to cut me in half. Now I’d give her anything. What a clever woman. What a conniving, intelligent fucking woman. Did she know I would bow to her every command now—hearing her call me family. Shit, I’d hire out Disneyland if she wanted a princess wedding. I’d invite woodland animals and fairy godmothers if that’s what she wanted.
You’re my family.
I forced my heart to stop hammering and glowered. “You stopped what you were going to say. Spill.”
She sucked in a breath. “I would’ve liked Suzette to be there.” Her eyes flickered away almost guiltily. “And…it doesn’t matter.”
“What doesn’t matter?”
Taking another de
ep breath, she set her jaw. “Brax was the one who gave me any sense of self-worth. I never loved him more than a friend—not the way I love you, but he is a friend and the only one from my past who I would’ve liked to share you with.” Ducking her head, she breathed, “I’m so proud of you. So amazed and stupefied and happy. I want to show you off. I want one moment where I’m on your arm. To show off how stupendously lucky I am to be worthy of loving you.”
Fuck. Me.
My brain split her words into two categories—she loved me and wanted to show me off which made my heart chug harder with joy. But all I could focus on was one word: Brax.
The ex. The boy who spent years with her before me.
I couldn’t look at her. My voice dropped to a deadly whisper, “No fucking chance in ever-living hell is that boy going to be at my goddamn wedding.”
Tess froze.
My heart took on a life of its own, thundering like a bloody mess. I rubbed my temple, easing away the sudden headache. “You think I’d let your ex spend time with you? You want to show me off—throw me into his face and say what, Tess? That I’m the one in your bed now? That you didn’t fuck him before I claimed you?” My voice was barely a whisper but icicles could’ve formed on the car windows it was so cold. “You want me to say the most important words of my life in front of a twerp who let you get kidnapped in Mexico?”
He may have let her be taken in Cancun, but she was stolen from your fucking office. You have things in common.
Fucking hell, that comparison had to die. And fast. I’d turn into a monster if I started comparing myself to a boy from Tess’s past.
I needed out of this car. I needed to get away from her to calm my temper.
Tess’s soft touch landed on the back of my hand. “I get it, Q. I’m sorry. I should’ve thought it through. I wouldn’t want your ex-girlfriends there either. Can you forget I said anything?”
Breathing hard through my nose, I said, “You’re forgetting I don’t have any ex-girlfriends.” Only whores. Shit, we both had baggage. I had no right to be so high and fucking mighty. Sighing, I forced my muscles to relax. “Sorry, esclave. That was out of line.” Giving her a half-smile, I added, “Jealousy is a new demon I’m trying to understand.”