Marianne, flush-faced like Mom, but by instinct the peacemaker in the family, said she hated war, any war, and prayed the Vietnam War would end soon, and all wars would end, forever. And then no one would be mad at anyone else, ever again.
Judd who was eight years old kept his thoughts to himself He hoped to join the Air Force as soon as he was old enough, and be a bomber pilot.
Private First Class Dwight David Duncan's picture from the Mt. Ephrairn Patriot-Ledger was carefully clipped out and tacked to the kitchen bulletin board, where it prevailed for months, a smiling and not accusing presence, until, eventually, it was covered over by newer clippings, Polaroid snapshots, Morn's FAMILY CALENDAR, pages of brilliant color from Burpee's seed catalogue.
Mike "Mule" Mulvaney, a fullback on the championship Mt. Ephramm football team for the `71-'72 season, had been with some of his teammates that night, but not the guys who did it.
Whatever it was, exactly, they did. With Della Rae Duncan. Or to her.
If you could believe half the wild tales making the rounds! You know how guys exaggerate.
Guys who weren't even there, for Christ's sake.
That night following the game, and the big celebration party, Mike didn't have a car. He was with his buddies Frankie Kreigner, Brock Johnson, some others. Jammed into Frankie's dad's Cadillac and it was true some of the guys were drinking, passing cans of beer to one another, and also a flask of vodka, and somebody's dad's Wild Turkey. So maybe the boys were violating the law, drinking in a moving motor vehicle, but only technically. Nobody was actually drunk, anyway not Mule Mulvaney, not much. Nor Frankie, who was driving.
Mule could be a rough guy sometimes, a tough customer on the football field (you don't get baptized "Mule" by coach, for nothing) but his rep was that of a helluva nice guy. Not mean. Sure he'd hit you square in the solar plexus with his shoulder and lift you off your feet like a cartoon character too astonished to register surprise before you landed, hard, on your ass, but it wasn't to hurt, like some guys, it was more to-well, impress. So you'd know that he meant business. So you'd respect him. And stay out of his way next time, if you could.
And he was the kind to help you up off the ground afterward, clanip a hand on your shoulder saying Good play! nice try!
The most popular guy on the team, practically. One of the bestlooking.
A decent guy, and even, if you knew him better, a Christian- sort of. His mother Corinne Mulvaney was a devout churchgoer, at this time a member of the South Lebanon United Methodist congregation. Mule went less and less frequently with her and the others to church services now he was older, but still it rubs off on you. You have to know deep in your heart Do unto others as you would they would do unto you is just plain common sense. So he was beginning to get a little scared. Not seriously scared, but a little. Mixing wann Molson with vodka and whiskey didn't help. After the big party at the Maclntyres' (this really cool ranch-style house on the golf course) they'd piled into cars and driven six miles out to the funky County Line Tavern, where there was the possibility, unwarranted as it turned out, of some after-hours drinking, and some "girls." Then word got Out that T-T Maclntyre had picked up Della Rae Duncan, the poor bitch was dumb enough and drunk enough to imagine he "liked" her and wanted to be her "steady." They were in Jarnie Khnger's van, this gang of guys. Cruising Route 119 as far south as the river, then turning back to Mt. Ephraim. Cruising Main Street, where (it's after 2 A.M.) everything is dead-the Majestic, the Checkerboard Diner. Then into the cemetery off Iroquois. Which was where Frankie Kreigner trailed them. Though not turning into the cemetery but circling the block. Mule Mulvaney was saying, "Maybe we should check them out?-they might be hurting her, or something." Another time he said, like pleading, "Shit, Della Rae, that poor mutt, that's like shooting fish in a barrel." The other guys were divided. Maybe yes, maybe no. There was something exciting about this. Knowing Della Rae was putting out for their buddies, or anyway guessing so. Though they didn't want to investigate, exactly. Della Rae was a pig and she was smashed out of her skull and you didn't want to think about it, Mule felt blood rush into his cock like a faucet turned on: hot.
So what they did was, actually they did nothing.
That's for the cemetery!-the guys would snigger behind their hands.
Hoo! One for the cem-e-tery!----the girls would overhear, perplexed and vaguely embarrassed.
Keep it for the cemetery! Right on!-giving one another the peacenik sign, laughing like hell. Sometimes under their teachers' very noses and if it was a woman teacher, all the more hilarious.
Girls knew nothing about it. At any rate not the good girls. So if one could be enticed into saying, " `Cemetery'?-why?" this was quite a coup.
In the junior high, where Della Rae Duncan was a student, the girls knew even less. The smartest girls, the leaders, the most popular girls-Marianne Mulvaney, Suzi Quigley, Trisha LaPorte, Bonnie Sherman and their clique. These were cheerleaders, class officers (Marianne Mulvaney was secretary), members of the Drama Club, the French Club, the Quill and Scroll Literary Society, the school chorus. They were Honors Students. They were active in the Christian Youth Conference. Because they were good-girl girls they believed they were not snobbish and they competed with one another in being friendly, being nice, to the most obscure students; the most pathetic losers; like Della Rae Duncan, and other "trailer-village" kids. Their smiles were golden coins scattered carelessly in the school corridors, their Hi's! and H'lo's! and How are you's! were melodic as the cries of spring birds.
It wasn't until after the Christmas holiday, when school resumed again in January, that Marianne Mulvaney turned a corner in the girls' locker room and saw, to her discomfort-Della Rae Duncan. Just sitting there, slump-shouldered, on a bench in front of her opened locker. Staring at the floor. Della Rae's face was puffy and embittered like a grown woman's. Her lips appeared to be moving. Her oily hair lifted from her head in stiff coils. Gym class had begun ten minutes before, and at roll call Della Rae had been marked absent, but she was in no hurry now, just slouched there in a kind of torpor. Marianne, so fastidious in her personal grooming, saw in dismay that Della Rae was partly undressed, in baggy gym shorts that ballooned about her hips and a frayed, grimy-gray bra (what heavy breasts!) held together by safety pins. Her flesh that looked stained, with its oily glisten, and a smell of talcumy sweat, seemed on the verge of spilling froni her clothes.
For all her social poise at the age of fourteen, Marianne was a shy girl; physically shy; never comfortable in the locker room undressing with the other girls, still less in the communal showers. At church, Reverend Appleby spoke in his flushed, impassioned, somewhat tongue-tied way of sins of the flesh as temptations to us all but Marianne could see little temptation. At home, she would have been mortified with embarrassment had even her mother glimpsed her in just underwear.
Too late to retreat, Della Rae had seen her. Marianne's pretty face lit up in its customary dazzling smile. "Hi, Della Rae!"-the very voice, a lilting soprano, of Caucasian privilege. The girls' eyes locked. Sharp as a blade was Della Rae's black stare: Marianne felt her face burn at once, and her heart kicked as if she'd been shot, like a bird in flight, yet like a wounded bird carried forward by sheer momentum, scarcely faltering in her stride. Marianne had returned to the locker room to get a packet of Kleenex from her locker but she couldn't remain in the other girl's presence, not a moment longer! She retreated, still smiling, her face aching with the effort, as Della Rae Duncan stared at her with undisguised hatred.
But why me? IT/hat have I ever done to you? f'f/hatever has been done to you-how is it my fault?
In a daze, as if she'd been slapped-she, Marianne Mulvaney!- Marianne returned to gym class, where a volleyball game was just beginning. Miss Deltz, the gym instructor, asked Marianne if she'd seen Della Rae Duncan, and Marianne nodded yes. Miss Deltz, a short, wiry, white-blond woman of about thirty, regarded Marianne, one of her favorites, with a look of Cautious confidentiality. "Those people, they cause mo
re trouble... That kind of a girl. Sad!" It was a murmur, more like thinking out loud than actual speech. Marianne stared at her gym shoes, cleanly white, with white laces perfectly tied, white-ribbed woollen socks. She could not think of a word to say.
Della Rae never did show up for gym that day and if any of the girls missed her, not a word was said.
PROVIDENCE
Well then! Don't believe -f you choose not to. I know what happened and I know what truth is and God's purpose is not altered whether such as you believe, or not.
And we'd laugh, protesting. Oh Mom.
It was December 1938, between Christmas and New Year's. Corinne was seven years old. Ida Hausmann, her mother, was driving the flirnily car with just Corinne as a passenger, that car that was a battered old 1931 Dodge like a sunk submarine gray and speckled with rust like pimples. They were at about the midpoint returning home from the village of Ransomville, about four miles yet to go, and a storm was blowing up, rain and sleet and then sleet and snow, the sky above the mountain-rim of the Valley a frightening bluish black roiling with clouds like those fleeting distorted flices you see as you're beginning to fail asleep, and the sun a smoldering red eye at the horizon like the last coal in the smithy engorged with flame by the blacksmith's bellows. (Corinne's grandfather Hausmann was a blacksmith, as well as a fin-nier.) And you could hear a strange sound like the hoarse-breathing suck! suck! suck! of the bellows that was the wind sucking at the strugghng car wanting to pluck it from the road.
Against her husband's wishes (Mr. Hausmann was parsimonious regarding gasoline and the general upkeep of the family car and did not approve of "jaunts" to town except for practical purposes like shopping) Mrs. Hausmann had driven backcountry crudely plowed roads to visit a sickly older sister who lived in Ransornville; now on the return trip she was beginning to panic, the way the snow was coming down, an unexpected blizzard. Connne's mother was one of those women susceptible to "nerves"-"agitations"-of unknowmi origin, and in emergency situations she either took control completely, as when Corinne's twelve-year-old brother lost several fingers in a threshing accident, or broke down completely, talking and moaning to herself, praying aloud, shaking her head as she was now, oh! they'd never make it home, if they were stuck in snow she'd never be able to shovel out (there was a snow shovel kept in the car trunk for such purposes), why had she gone to visit her sister oh why, why! Her eyes began to glisten, she was blinking rapidly. It was Corinne's task to keep the inside of the driver's windshield clean where it steamed up, swiping at it with mittened hands, but the steam kept coming back, and snow and ice particles were sticking to the outside, and Mrs. Hausmann wept and scolded as if it were Corinne's fault.
Corinne was a big girl in her own eyes, not a scaredy-baby, and she didn't cry easily, but the way the wind rocked the car! and sucked at it! and snow was swirling and rushing toward theni like a tunnel they had no choice but to drive into, for there was no turning back. And the windshield wipers were going slower and slower, encrusted with ice. And Mrs. Hausmann cried I can't see, Corinne keep the window clear I told you! And Corinne wiped frantically at the glass, leaning across the steering wheel, but what could she do?-the ice was on the outside. And Mrs. Hausmann could drive only ten miles an hour, or less. And at a plank bridge over a creek invisible in a haze of seething white there was a ramp so icy-steep the Dodge's tires even with their chains began to spin, and slip, and the Dodge began to slide backward and Mrs. Hausmann gunned the motor and still the car was sliding, then the motor sputtered and died, Mrs. Hausnnitin screamed as the car tilted off the ramp entirely, the most sickening sensation Corinne would remember all her life as they fell, overturning into a twelve-foot drainage ditch beside the road. God help us! Mrs. Hausmann screamed. God help my baby and me, don't let us die!
It might have been that God heard, and took mercy: lucky for mother and daughter, the drainage ditch was solid ice at its base, not water. The car upended and came slowly to rest and there was silence save for the wind and the sifting-hissing sound of the snow that was like something alive, and malevolent. Connne saw that her mother's mouth was bleeding, and her black wool cloche hat, her only good hat, was crooked over one eye, its sprig of shiny red holly berries askew. Later, Mrs. Hausmann would discover that two of her front teeth had loosened, where she'd been thrown against the steering wheel, but she didn't notice now, she had no time. She panted, grunted like a man forcing the driver's door open, and outward, then crawling out, with much difficulty into the freezing snow, her heavy skirt hiking up revealing lardy-pale thighs and thick-mesh beige stockings in such a way Corimne had never seen before. Corinne! Take my hand! Hurry! she cried. Corinne grabbed her mother's gloved hand and climbed, for all the terror of the situation, monkey-ninthle out of the car into a roaring of snowflakes so fierce she could barely see her mother only a few inches away.
Then on their hands and knees they crawled back up the incline to the road now so drifted in snow it was hardly recognizable as a road. Ice-rivulets began to form on their faces; snowflakes caught in their eyelashes like living, lashing cobwebs. It was a cold beyond cold, you couldn't register it, fingers and toes going numb, faces chill and brittle as ceramic. Mrs. Hausmann shouted to Corinne that they'd go to the Gorner farm close by-wasn't it close by?-though she seemed confused about which direction it was. She set out one way, crossing the bridge, then suddenly halted and reversed, gripping Corinne's hand. She renioved her woolen scarf from around her neck to wrap it around Corinne's head, to protect Corinne from frostbite. Don't be afraid! Don't be afraid! Momma will take care of you.
It would seem afterward that they walked, trudged, for many miles, heads bent against the wind. Yet they could not have gone very far at all. Were they walking in circles? It wasn't clear which side of the creek they were on, Mrs. Hausmann couldn't remember. It was not even clear where the road was, exactly. There was a high ringing sound in the air, above the toiling of the wind. Like a voice, the words so drawn out you couldn't hear them. Like high-tension wires, except of course there were none along the Ransomville Road, electricity had not yet come to this remote part of the Chautauqua Valley. Corinne, don't give in! Stay with Momma! Mrs. Hausmann pleaded. She had never been a demonstrative mother, still less a wanu mother, she'd had four or five babies before Connie, of whom only two had lived, and who knew how many miscarriages, "accidents" as they were elliptically called, never clearly distinguished from other species of "female troubles," yet now, in the blizzard, she seemed to Coninne so loving! so loving! hugging Corinne tight, scolding and pleading, lowing her warm desperate breath into Corinne's face. Connne was so sleepy, her eyelids wanted to shut. Her knees inside her thick wool leggings were like water-boneless. She wasn't afraid now and wasn't even cold, wanting only to lie down in the shelter of a snowdrift and cradle her heavy head in her arms and sleep, sleep. But her mother kept shaking her, slapping at her cheeks. Her mother's swollen mouth glistened where blood had coagulated into ice. God help us! Mrs. 1-Iausmann prayed. God help us! I'll never drive that car again, nor any car I swear to you God.
There came then an eerie smoldering-red glow as if the dying sun had slipped its moorings and sunk to earth, buffeted by the terrible wind. It splintered into a myriad of fragments, glowing-red sparks, tiny as fireflies. And in fact-they were fireflies! Mrs. Hausmann saw with dazed eyes what could not be, but was. Corinne, look! A sign from God! Mother and daughter stumbled in the direction of the fireflies which led them not as they would have gone (so Mrs. Hausmann swore afterward) but in another direction entirely, and so saved their lives. For within five minutes something dark hulked above them in the blizzard: the schoolhouse! The single-room schoolhouse that was in fact Corinne's own school, closed for Christmas recess. Mrs. Hausmann had no time to wonder how they had found their way to the school, for hadn't she been headed in the opposite direction?-but the fireflies led them on, winldng, almost invisible, dancing several yards before them, emitting too (for so it seemed) that strange melodic high-pitched sound
that must have been a voice of God, too pure for human ears. At the school, Mrs. Hausmann lifted a rock, and threw it clumsily into a window, so the glass shattered; and she and Corinne crawled through the window, in their numbed, distracted states tearing their clothes on the jagged glass in the frame, but at last they were inside, in a sheltered place, panting and sobbing with relief. Inside it was freezing cold, and dark as the interior of a cave, but Mrs. Hausniann located the woodburning stove, and Corinne found the tin box containing her teacher's kitchen matches, and Mrs. Hausmann was able with her stiffened, shaking fingers to start a fire, and so-they were saved.
They would not be rescued for nearly twenty-four hours, by a sheriffs rescue team accompanying a snowplow along the Ransomville Road, but from that point onward as Mrs. Hausmann would say they were in the bosom of the Lord.
Another, less fortunate traveler on the road that day, a neighbor of the Hausmanns, froze to death when his pickup stalled and he tried to walk to shelter. On a county highway, a young couple abandoned their car to the storm and set out bravely on foot, lost their way and crawled into an irrigation ditch to escape the wind, the man lying on top of the woman and so saving her from freezing; he survived, too, but only barely, both legs having to be amputated at the knees. And many head of cattle died in the Valley, trapped outside when the storm swept upon them. Canada geese were said to have dropped like shot out of the air, transformed to ice. Even in the towns of Ransomville, Milford, Chautauqua Falls, and Mt. Ephraim there were deaths and near-deaths. The Yewville River froze so solidly it didn't thaw until late April. Snow endured for months, well into spring, hard-crusted unnatural snow it seemed, acrid and bitter on the tongue, hiding the bodies of numberless wild creatures, revealed only in the thaw. But Mrs. Hausmann and Corinne were spared, the spirit of God dwelling forever afterward in their hearts.