Sighing, he continued, "It’s really weird. Sometimes, I’ll run into my dad and my stepmom around town. We’ll stop and talk a few minutes like a pair of old classmates who haven’t seen each other since graduation. But it’s nothing at all like I would’ve thought a relationship between father and son would be."
"No," she agreed. "It doesn’t sound like it."
He lifted his gaze and something plopped hard into her stomach. She wondered if it was her heart.
"Both my parents deserted me," he said. "Not that I really noticed it though. I always had Mandy. She’s my only family. I’d do anything for her."
"I see," Mia murmured. And honestly, she did. It was sad because she realized how truly they stood on opposites sides of this issue between his brother-in-law and her roommate.
Though she understood just how much they could never be friends now, she held open the screen door for him. "Do you want to come in?"
His eyes lit with a yes, but he physically took a step back. "Is your roommate home?"
The distaste in his gaze had her back stiffening. She let the open gap in the door close a few inches. "Would it matter if she was?"
This wasn’t going to work. Nothing between them could ever work. Disappointment sliced through her even as he ran his hand through his hair and murmured, "Why don’t you come out here with me?"
"Honestly, Drew," she murmured. "What would that accomplish?"
His smile fell. He stared at her for a five miserable seconds before saying, "I wonder if I could use the right words to describe how much I adore just looking at you. Every time I’m around you, it’s like … everything goes on high alert. Concentrating on anything is impossible because I’m so—" He shivered and another smile sprouted on his lips.
Mia knew exactly what he meant. She felt the same thrill around him.
"Do you even feel a little of that in return?" he wondered, his gaze probing and intense.
Sucking in a breath, she made a momentous decision and stepped out onto the front steps with him. As the door shut behind her, his stunned expression made her smile.
"Thank you," he breathed out. "I like that answer."
She laughed, but the sound caught on a sob.
"No, no," he said quickly, reaching out. "Don’t cry. I’m sorry."
He dropped his hand when she stiffened.
She whirled around, yanking open the door. "I’m sorry. This was a big mistake."
"Wait." He caught her elbow. "Mia." His thumb slid over sensitive skin on the inside of her arm, and she shivered. "I realize there’s more going on here than I know about. And it’s not just my suspicions about your roommate dating my brother-in-law." His fingers squeezed briefly before he whispered, "You have haunted eyes."
She pulled gently away and he let her go. Turning slowly, she lifted her haunted eyes to his baby blues. Compassion filled his gaze.
"I don’t want to hurt you," he said. "But I can’t ignore what’s happening between us."
Opening her mouth to confess how her own feelings mirrored his, she stopped when he held up a hand. "Don’t say anything yet. Wait until you’ve heard everything I have to say because … I did come over here today to coax information out of you about her."
Her jaw dropped. "You did?" That wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She wanted more of his sweet confessions about how he liked being with her and looking at her.
"My sister’s upset," he said, his eyes entreating. "She’s completely distressed. I was ready to do anything I could for her. I still am. But as soon as you opened the door just now, I looked at you and realized I can’t help her this way. I can’t use you."
Not sure how to answer, she waited, letting him continue.
"So, I promise not to ask you any more questions about … about her if you just stay out here with me for a little while longer."
Temptation seized her. Caught in his blue gaze, she admitted, "She’ll be home within the hour." Then he’d be forced to discover more information about Piper … or leave.
"Let’s go out then. We’ll just act like everyone else doesn’t exist for a few hours. Let’s pretend this is our first meeting."
She bit her lip. "I don’t know."
His blue gaze seared into her. "Do you like pizza?"
After she gave a silent nod, he smiled and held out a hand. "It’s almost supper time. If you come with me, we can be two people sharing a meal together and engaging in pleasant conversation."
Noticing how careful he tried not to make a big deal about it, she said, "But we won’t call it a date, huh?"
"A date?" His brows lowered. "What’s that?"
Rolling her eyes, she couldn’t help but grin. But a split second later, indecision consumed her. He’d lied to her once and actually admitted he still wanted to spy on her roommate. Plus, there was that whole acceptance problem she needed to overcome but didn’t want to try to overcome. She didn’t know if she’d be able to make it through a date anyway. The whole idea screamed problems. But she was tempted. Oh, yeah, she was very tempted.
"I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself," he added, raising his palms in surrender. "It’s just eating. Everyone has to eat. Right?"
Mia licked her dry lips. "Okay, but we have to drive separately. And you can’t follow me home afterward."
His eyes narrowed at the stipulations. But he gave a brief nod and said, "Deal."
•
"Could you please pass the parmesan?"
Realizing the bottle of grated cheese sat next to her elbow, Mia slid it across the restaurant table toward Drew.
"Thanks." He shot her a grin and shook out seasoning over the three slices of pizza sitting on his plate. And he continued to shake, covering the entire surface until barely any topping could be seen underneath.
She wrinkled her nose. "Would you like some more pizza to go with your cheese?"
He lifted his face, his expression completely innocent. "What?"
Swallowing her amusement, she said, "Nothing."
He motioned his finger toward the bottle of red pepper seasoning next. "And that?" he asked.
Mia shook her head in disbelief. "No. You’re not seriously going to mix parmesan cheese and red pepper together, are you?"
"What? It’s good." He stretched forward, reaching past her to snag the pepper. Taking both shakers in hand, he hovered them above her single slice, threatening to tilt them. "Want to try it?"
"No!" She darted out her hand to stop him.
He chuckled and pulled the pepper and parmesan away. "Your loss." Then he proceeded to douse his supper again.
She wrinkled her nose. But a smile hovered over her lips, ready to turn into a full-blown laugh any second.
This was nice, she decided. Not at all nerve-wracking or frightening. She’d been afraid her first date after Ryan would be one of the most terrifying experiences of her life. In fact, she’d planned on never going through it … on being alone until she died. But Drew made dinner feel natural and relaxed. There was no panic at all. Contentment rippled through her. It was so surprising it felt foreign.
She could get used to being content, though, she thought. Yeah, contentment was definitely growing on her.
"Sure you don’t want a taste test?" Drew asked, holding up both shakers and waggling them in a persuasive manner.
When she shook her head, he tsked in disapproval and set them on the table, nudging them her way to let her know they’d be right there in case she changed her mind.
And with that, he picked up a slice of pizza and half of it disappeared into his mouth. Watching him devour his food, she realized his parmesan/pepper offer wasn’t merely about food, but everything about him. He showed her what she could have, made it look as appealing as he could, then set it aside, forcing no more pressure, all the while making it known she could still have it any time she changed her mind.
"Aren’t you hungry?" he asked, pausing to eye her untouched food. His gaze lifted, concern thick in his voice.
Not want
ing him to realize she’d been admiring him, she said, "I was just making sure that combination agreed with you. I was ready to perform CPR in case you keeled over."
He snorted. "This might surprise you, but it’s perfectly normal to mix and match these two seasonings. I’m sure millions of other pizza-eaters in the world do the same thing. It tastes good."
"Hmm." Peeling off a section of pepperoni from her slice, she popped it into her mouth. "I’ll just take your word for it," she answered as she chewed.
He watched her with glittering eyes as she chose another pepperoni. Pointing it out, he asked, "Do you always eat the topping first?"
At her nod, he shook his head. "See. That right there is strange to me. I don’t have the patience to eat one pepperoni at a time."
She glanced at his half-consumed slice and chuckled. "I noticed."
"You’re probably not a crust-eater either, are you?"
"Nope." After swallowing the last pepperoni on her piece, she finally took a nibble off the end.
"I call dibs on your crust then. I love dipping them in the marinara sauce."
Thinking about the intimacy of him eating her crust after she’d had her mouth all over it, she swallowed her next piece wrong and had to snag her drink from the table.
After polishing off his helping, Drew started piling more pizza on his plate. "So, tell me something about you," he said as he licked off a drop of sauce he’d smeared on his finger.
She straightened, alarmed by the question. He wanted to talk about her? She didn’t want to talk about her. She didn’t want him to know about her past. Not yet.
"What do you want to know?" she hedged, hoping her expression didn’t show how worried she’d grown.
He shrugged. "I don’t know. Everything. Start with what you do every day. You have a job, right?"
Her shoulders eased and she let out a quiet sigh of relief. Oh, thank God. An easy question. "Yes, I have a job."
Rolling his eyes, he added, "Of course," for her, since her tone implied as much. "So, what do you do?"
"I work for a telephone directory company. I handle selling the advertisements in the yellow pages."
"Interesting," he murmured. "I hadn’t thought of placing an ad there yet. But I might now." Winking, he asked, "Think you could get me a discount on a full-page ad?"
"No way," she said. "I get commission."
He laughed. "Okay then." Setting his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his hands, he leaned forward. "So … have you always wanted to sell ads for a telephone directory?"
"Have you always wanted to be a photographer?" she countered, growing feisty.
He wrinkled his eyebrows as if that was an absurd question. "Well, yeah."
She laughed. "That’s right. You want to see your pictures in National Geographic."
"You remember," he said softly.
Clearing her throat at the sudden familiarity that sprang up between them, she glanced away. "Why didn’t you follow that dream?"
"Mandy," he answered so suddenly, she frowned and sent him a questioning look.
His smile looked forced. "She took it hard when I told her I wanted to travel. In fact, to keep me around, she offered me a loan to start a photography studio here in town. She’d also inherited the house I live in now when our grandma died. So, she deeded it over to me as an added incentive."
"But she didn’t offer you a loan to do what you really wanted to do?" Mia asked. "To travel?"
Drew studied her silently. "No, she didn’t," he murmured, sitting back to put space between them. "But I don’t resent her for that. Not at all. She raised me. She did more for me than any sister should be expected to do. I owe her everything. And it’s not like I hate my life. I like what I do. I like where I am. But—"
"You still wonder what it’d be like to photograph the four corners of the world," Mia finished for him.
His smile was slow but warm. "Exactly." Glancing down at his hand, he gave a soft laugh. "I always worried I was selfish for that. For wondering what if."
"I don’t think you are."
He lifted his eyes. His booth shook, telling her he was nervously jiggling his knee under the table. There was a tormented glint in his gaze like he wanted to believe her but couldn’t bring himself to forgive himself for his imperfection, though she didn’t see it as such.
"Anyone need a refill?"
Mia jumped at the server’s voice.
"I’m good," Drew answered and glanced across the table toward her. "How about you?"
"I’m fine," she answered, smiling up at the woman and wishing she’d leave already so she could talk more with Drew. He denied resenting his sister too vehemently. She wondered if he did hold something against Mandy. It made sense, since he felt so guilty about wondering what if.
But the mood had broken and his demeanor changed, telling her the subject was officially closed.
Grinning again, he said, "Enough about me. I want to know about you."
Walls went up immediately. Her gaze grew shuttered and she glanced down at her hands. "There’s not much to tell."
"Well … " He wasn’t going to let her off that easy. "Where’re you from? That’s a good place to explore next. Do you have any family?"
She grinned, relieved and delighted to get another easy question. "I’m from Chicago," she said. "I have both parents. They’re still married and living there. No siblings."
He winced. "An only child, huh? You know what they say about them, don’t you?"
She quirked a brow. "What? That we’re all well-adjusted whiz kids?"
He chuckled. "That’s not quite what I’ve heard."
Grinning, she retorted. "Then you’ve been listening to the wrong sources."
Obviously liking this flirtatious side of her, Drew moved closer. "I guess I have," he murmured and reached across the table to tuck a stray piece of honey blond hair behind her ear.
She sucked in a breath and her smile faltered. Her gaze skidded to his. His blue eyes showed disappointment at her withdraw, but he casually dropped his hand and slid back into relaxed mode.
"When did you move here?"
She blinked, gathering her scattered senses, and wondered if he was purposely trying to throw her off guard by abruptly changing subjects.
"About a year ago," she answered. "Piper invited me to come live with her. We’d been friends since second grade. She tried the college here, but dropped out and entered cosmetology school instead. Now, she styles hair."
He frowned. "You’ve been friends with her since grade school?" At her nod, the perplexity on his face deepened. "Really? Hmm. You guys don’t seem like the same type at all."
Not wanting to talk about her roommate with him, her eyes coated and the blockade went up. He seemed to realize he’d brought up a prohibited topic, though, because he dropped it just as suddenly and sent her an ornery look.
"Okay, one last question." Ignoring her leery frown, he asked, "Have you ever dated anyone as amazing as me?"
For a moment, she merely gaped, thinking he was serious. Then she threw her head back and laughed. "Why, of course not," she gave him the answer she knew he wanted. "I’ve never even met anyone as amazing as you."
He sat back in the booth, looking smug. "That’s what I thought."
Chapter Nine
As Drew walked Mia to her car, he made sure to stay close enough for their arms to brush every few steps. He figured it was progress when she didn’t step away. The woman was a puzzle. At times, he didn’t think she wanted to be happy. Then he’d manage to coax a smile out of her and things went great for a few minutes, until something happened as if reminding her she needed to return to miserable. And she’d withdraw, starting the cycle over again.
He tried not to push, but the curiosity was killing him. He wanted to know why? Why did she shy away from pleasure? Why did she feel so convinced she had to be depressed? He guarded his words, measuring everything before he spoke, hoping he didn’t trigger another decline because, wel
l, he liked it when she slipped up and smiled for him.
"So," he said, keeping his hands in his pockets so they wouldn’t stray and do something to upset her. "Think you’ll get hungry again in the next week or so?"
Eyes glittering, she asked, "Are you trying to ask me out on another non-date?"
He feigned appalled shock. "Of course not. That was the furthest thing from my mind. How could you even suggest such an idea?"
Amusement tickled the corner of her mouth. She paused at her Nissan, unlocking it before turning to face him. "Can I ask you something?"
He inched closer until she had to tip her head up to meet his gaze. God, he liked looking down on her. "You can ask me anything."
Looking uncertain at first, she daintily cleared her throat. "Why are you even bothering? You know this can’t go anywhere."
Pulling back, he blinked in surprise. "Actually, I don’t know that. Why can’t it go anywhere?"
Letting out a small sigh, she said, "Think about it, Drew. You’ve lied to me from the very first moment we met."
His mouth fell open. "I have not. Since the moment I confessed everything at the studio, I haven’t lied once. And you know why I had to lie when we first met. My sister was counting on me. She’s still counting on me, in fact. She so rarely asks anything of me. When she begged me to find out what her husband was up to, there was no way I could say no."
"She … she asked you to do that?"
He shifted uneasily. How had the tables turned to make him the bad guy? She was the one with the cheating roommate. She was the one protecting her precious Piper. He was just trying to be a good brother.
"Yes," he said, unable to entirely erase the defensive note from his voice. "She asked me to help her. And I did. I still will."
Mia shook her head, looking confused. "Why can’t she just approach her husband about it?"
Drew gave a half-hearted shrug. "I’m not exactly sure. I keep asking her the same question, and she always has a different answer. I think she’s scared. She doesn’t want him to know she’s suspicious in case she ends up being wrong. But … I don’t think she wants to hear the truth from him even if she was certain. That would make it too real for her."