I had deliberately instigated this commotion and misunderstanding in order to attract as many of the prison warders and guards as possible to the battlements and the entry courtyard, so that we could deal with them in a single concentrated mass without having to pursue individuals through the maze of buildings, interlinking courtyards and dungeons within the walls.
When I estimated that my ruse had succeeded and at least thirty of the prison warders were lining the ramparts above us, I rose to my feet in the leading chariot and gave a convincing imitation of Doog throwing one of his tantrums. The black hood concealed my face as I shouted curses and threats at the men on the walls, addressing some of them by name, and my extensive and foul-mouthed vocabulary was convincing. My gestures and mannerisms were perfected from the original. I have often thought that I could have been a celebrated thespian if I had chosen that career. As it was, these close relatives of his were totally duped into believing they were speaking to Doog in person.
One of them gabbled the traditional welcome: ‘Enter at your peril. But know ye, all enemies of Pharaoh and Egypt are eternally doomed once they are within these walls!’ while the rest of them trooped down the staircase and crowded into the entry courtyard to welcome their illustrious relative home.
Only half of them carried weapons. The rest of them had not bothered to retrieve their arms, lest they miss the excitement of the proceedings. This total lack of discipline was typical of the lackadaisical behaviour of the troops of the new regime under Utteric Turo.
I recognized Doog’s elder brother, who was named Gambio, as he hurried to welcome me home. He was an exception to the rule, in that he was a shrewd and clever warrior and a dangerous adversary but even more hideous than his elder brother. I knew that if I let him get even a hint of the real situation it would be only seconds before we were involved in a serious struggle. I lumbered down from the chariot and waddled to meet him in imitation of his younger brother. My sword was still in its sheath, but my dagger was in my left hand, concealed in the folds of my robes. As we came together I seized Gambio’s outstretched right hand in a steely grip and jerked him off balance. I saw the flare of terror in his eyes as he finally recognized me. In that instant he knew that he was doomed. I stabbed the point of my dagger up under his ribs and into his heart, and then locked him in an embrace with my left arm. His death cry was drowned out by the general uproar that surrounded us. As I waited for him to bleed out, I dedicated his soul to the memory of the hundreds of innocents in whose suffering and demise he had taken such intense pleasure.
The other denizens of the prison were slow to realize what was taking place. They crowded around the leading chariot, beginning to taunt and threaten Serrena and trying to drag her down from the carriage. All their attention was focused on the beautiful female prisoner. I knew that they were eager to strip her naked again. Our companions in the two following vehicles jumped down and quickly moved forward to surround the leading chariot, at the same time unsheathing their blades. Silently they went to work, not alerting their enemies with any war cry. Half of the garrison warders were cut down before the others became aware of the peril which had engulfed them. In the end the last of them threw down their weapons and went down on their knees to plead for mercy. This was another unwise decision. They were dragged away by their heels to the funeral pyres which burned for the rest of that night.
Our first concern once we had secured the fortifications was to release the prisoners from the dungeons below ground. There were just over 120 of these, of which thirty or so were women. It was not possible for Serrena and me to count the exact numbers, because they were dying almost as rapidly as we were able to bring them to the surface. The causes of death were mostly starvation or thirst, but other factors were prolonged whippings, gouging out of one or both eyes, drawing out of the intestines, skinning alive, insertion of heated metal rods into their anuses and other ingenious procedures dreamed up by Doog and his brethren.
The reason why Rameses and I had returned to Egypt was simply to ascertain where Utteric was holding Serrena; and if it were at all possible to provide her with strength and encouragement to survive the terrible ordeal with which she was confronted. I had never even vaguely anticipated an attempt by the two of us to rescue her from out of Utteric’s clutches. Now that we had succeeded in both these unlikely, if not impossible, endeavours my sole concern was to spirit her out of Africa and get her safely home to her loving family in Lacedaemon as soon as was humanly or divinely possible. I am certain that if Rameses had been given any say in the matter he would have agreed wholeheartedly with me. Neither of us had taken into account the opinion and wishes of Princess Serrena herself.
She allowed the two of us a few short hours of rest from our not insignificant endeavours and then she called a council of war. At first I thought she meant a council to determine the swiftest, easiest and most expedient way to get back to her home and mother.
In the dawn the four of us gathered on the ramparts of the Gates of Torment and Sorrow. I say the four of us because Serrena had summoned Weneg to attend her council.
‘Well, we have achieved our first goal, which is a secure base from which to operate. For this I owe my full thanks to the three of you,’ she opened the meeting. I glanced at Rameses and Weneg and saw that they were every bit as mystified by this announcement as I was. ‘Our next priority is to open communications with my father in Sparta,’ she continued.
‘I am sure you mean that our next priority is to get you out of Egypt and across the sea to Lacedaemon and into your father’s loving care as soon as possible,’ I cut in on her. She stared at me in astonishment.
‘I am sorry, my darling Tata. I don’t understand what you are talking about. What you have achieved here is an act of genius. No! It’s much more than that. You have worked a miracle. You have opened a base in the middle of enemy-held territory. We are completely isolated here.’
‘You mean until word of our present whereabouts gets back to Utteric in Luxor.’ I pointed out the silhouette of the golden palace which was clearly visible on the horizon to the south of us, no more than five or six leagues distant … or ten at the most.
She gave me her lovely wide-eyed look of pretended innocence. ‘Who is going to convey the news to him?’
‘One of the prison warders—’ I began and then broke off. Since yesterday evening all the warders were dead and burned. I corrected myself: ‘I mean any of Utteric’s underlings bringing supplies or prisoners from Luxor.’
‘No one is allowed beyond the Gates of Torment and Sorrow,’ Serrena pointed out. ‘All supplies and new prisoners are deposited in the entrance courtyard, where you will greet them with your celebrated impersonation of Doog in his black hood.’ Then she changed her voice: ‘Know ye, all enemies of Pharaoh and Egypt are eternally doomed once they are within these walls!’
Although her imitation was so convincing I refused to be fobbed off and I managed to keep a straight face as I put my next question to her. ‘What about when Utteric next summons you to Luxor for a meeting? What do you want me, in my role of Doog, to tell him?’
‘I have Utteric’s solemn oath that he never wants to see me again. He really is a very stupid boy, and so easy to ridicule. All his pretty boys were giggling at him every time I bested him in an exchange. He wanted to have me executed on the spot, but I pointed out that I was of no value to him if I were dead. In the end he actually burst into tears of frustration. I almost felt sorry for him. He swore an oath before all the gods that he never wanted to lay eyes on me again and flounced out of his own throne room.’
I could not contain my glee, and I burst out laughing at her description. But still I made a last effort. ‘What about the local farmers? The shepherds grazing their flocks?’ I knew it was a doomed effort but I soldiered on.
Serrena stamped her foot on the battlements. ‘These walls are fairly rugged,’ she pointed out. ‘Even the most vigilant shepherd will not be able to see through them. Besides which,
the only shepherd to come anywhere near this place of terrifying reputation was a naughty old darling named Taita. Not even Pharaoh Utteric the Invincible will come anywhere near it. That’s why he sent his minions to fetch me.’
‘What about your loving parents? They are desperate to see you again.’ I would try anything to get her back to the safety of Lacedaemon.
‘My father and mother won’t see me again until they come to Egypt,’ she told me firmly.
‘Why ever not?’ Once again she had taken me by surprise.
‘Because Egypt is now my home. My future husband is destined to be the Pharaoh of Egypt, and I am to be his queen. I have even chosen my title. I shall be known as Queen Cleopatra. Which, as I am sure you know, means “the Glory of her Father”? Papa should be placated by that.’
Rameses laughed. ‘And so shall I!’
I recognize a hopeless cause when I meet one. So I went down on one knee before her. ‘All hail to Queen Cleopatra!’ I capitulated.
‘Now shall we try to be serious? We have work to do,’ she asked sweetly, and turned back to confront Weneg. ‘How many pigeons do you have in your wine shop and how soon can you smuggle them out from under Utteric’s nose and bring them back here to the Gates of …’ She stopped herself uttering the awful name that Utteric had given to his prison, and thought for a few seconds. ‘… the Garden of Joy! That’s it!’ Her expression became blissful. ‘That’s the new name for our headquarters here! And the first thing I want is to get rid of all those skulls at the entrance. We will give them all a decent and respectful burial.’
‘I should like to keep one particular skull at the entrance, if it pleases Your Majesty. You can bury or burn the rest of them,’ I protested.
‘Which one is that?’ she demanded suspiciously.
‘The dreaded Doog,’ I told her and she tinkled with laughter.
‘Only you could have thought of that, Taita. But I agree that it is highly appropriate.’
Weneg reverted to his role of wine merchant once more and entered the main gates of Luxor that same evening. Doog had been a regular customer of his, so it was unremarkable when the following morning he emerged through the same gates with five donkey-loads of wine flagons. At the bottom of each donkey-load was concealed a basket containing a dozen or so pigeons. Each of the birds was blindfolded to discourage them from cooing whilst they passed through the city gates in the presence of the guards.
While Weneg was absent on this mission Serrena and I composed our message for her father, King Hurotas. These papyruses were too bulky to be carried by a single bird, so when Weneg returned we despatched them in serial form. Our one complete message required five birds to carry it.
It contained the news of Serrena’s rescue by Rameses and me from Utteric and Doog. Of course we received no acknowledgement or any reply from Hurotas, for he had no pigeons which had been hatched in the city of Luxor or in the Garden of Joy. So we could only imagine the relief and happiness the tidings occasioned in the citadel of Hurotas.
We continued to despatch birds every few days. Of course our subsequent messages were much more succinct, and consisted mostly of details of Utteric’s troop movements and informed estimates of the numbers of his war galleys, chariots, regiments and their dispositions.
I suggested to Weneg a more satisfactory method to open reciprocal communications between the citadel of Lacedaemon and the Garden of Joy. Every time he returned from his visits to his wine shop he brought with him a number of birds, both male and female, who were sufficiently mature for mating. We explained to Princess Serrena our intentions of breeding birds in the Garden of Joy and sending them by land and sea to Lacedaemon, so that when they were released there they would return immediately to their birth place; coincidently bearing messages from her father, King Hurotas.
‘Pigeons are wonderful creatures,’ Weneg explained to her. ‘Amongst their other virtues they are monogamous.’
She looked slightly mystified, so I explained to her: ‘They are faithful to each other for life; with no feathered concubines lurking in the background.’
‘Now that is so sweet …’ She turned to Rameses and gave him a telling glance. ‘So very sweet!’ He shot back a silent protest that made her green eyes twinkle.
When Weneg and I introduced a male pigeon to the coop he had built which already held six female birds, there was great excitement amongst the hens, who fluttered about in theatrical panic. It took some time for the male to make his choice, but when he had done so Weneg removed the five rejected females from the coop and left the male to pursue his courtship with the hen he had selected.
‘Now watch the male bird—’ Weneg continued his explanation.
‘Hold on a minute, Weneg.’ Serrena stopped him. ‘You can’t go on calling him that. He is not just the male bird. He should have a real name.’
‘Of course, you are absolutely right, as always, Your Highness. I should have thought of that. What should we call him?’ Weneg asked. ‘How about Lord Fine Feathers?’
‘No!’ Serrena thought for a moment. ‘Look at him! Doesn’t he think that he is just the greatest lover, and we want him to father plenty of little ones, do we not? There is only one name for him. Uncle Hui! We shall call him Uncle Hui!’
The three of us burst into delighted laughter, and it took us a while to recover. Weneg eventually called us to order. ‘See how he puffs out his chest and struts around her. Of course she runs away from him.’
‘But not very far and not very fast,’ I pointed out.
‘Of course not,’ Serrena agreed. ‘She is a female, so she isn’t stupid.’
‘Now he chases her spreading out his tail and dragging it along the ground. But she keeps just ahead of him.’
‘Of course she does! She is a clever girl!’ Serrena clapped her hands. ‘She does not want to make it too easy for him.’
‘At last she turns back to him, and he opens his beak for her,’ I observed.
‘Why would he do that?’ Serrena demanded.
‘It’s called “billing”. He is inviting her to be his single special friend.’ I took over the explanations from Weneg, because I know a great deal more about pigeons than he does.
‘Now, don’t let him dupe you,’ Serrena cautioned the female bird sharply. ‘Remember what your mama told you. Never trust a male.’ But the female pigeon ignored her advice and thrust her entire head down the male’s throat. After a pause she withdrew her head and sank belly down to the ground.
‘You will be sorry!’ Serrena sighed softly as the male bird hopped up on to her back and clapped his wings sharply, then spread his tail feathers to cover her nether regions. ‘Or perhaps you won’t,’ she amended her warning and reached out shyly for Rameses’ hand.
I pretended not to notice the side play and went on with my explanation: ‘Now, in about ten days’ time she will lay two or three eggs, which will hatch about another eighteen days later. The chicks will mature and be ready for the long flight from wherever we send them back here to the Garden of Joy in another month and a half.’
‘That’s such a long time,’ Serrena mused regretfully. ‘You have no idea just how I long to hear from my father and mother.’ She shook her head sadly, but then seemed to brace herself. ‘But now we have to find a way to send the mature birds to Lacedaemon to fly back with the messages from my loved ones …’
Before I could reply there was a trumpet blast from the high tower, a warning signal from the sentries, and I broke off the discussion. ‘That means that there are strangers on the road up from Luxor. All of you know your roles and stations for any eventuality. I have to get myself into my Doog costume,’ I told them and hurried away.
I was more than a little anxious for this had been the first sighting of strangers since Serrena had returned from her last visit to Utteric. I dreaded the thought that he had changed his mind and sent for her to be brought to his palace again to torment her. I ran all the way back to the central courtyard, and then without pausing fo
r breath I climbed the long staircase and came out on the high battlements of the tower. I immediately saw the dust cloud raised by running chariots. They were coming up the road that led from Luxor.
‘How many chariots?’ I asked the sentry, and he shrugged.
‘Quite a few; about ten or a dozen is my guess. They are being driven hard.’
I felt a gust of relief. Utteric would not have sent that number if he wanted them merely to fetch Serrena to Luxor for further sport with her. ‘Do you recognize any of them?’
‘They are still too far off, but almost certainly they are prisoners and their escorts,’ he confirmed my evaluation of the situation.
‘Hold them at the entrance gate as usual. I am going to change my costume.’
By the time I returned and made my way to the portcullis above the main gates there were eleven dusty war chariots drawn up in front of them. Every carriage was loaded with passengers, the majority of them in chains.
‘Who are you? Who sent you? And what is your business?’ I challenged them in the tones of Doog from the top of the walls.
‘We are royal charioteers of Pharaoh Utteric the Invincible! We are sent by Pharaoh to deliver thirty-one prisoners to you for punishment and execution with extreme prejudice.’
At my command the prisoners were disembarked from the chariots and, chained together by the ankles, they shuffled through the gates into the entrance courtyard, where the empty eye sockets in the skull of Doog stared down upon them from the niche high above. I used Doog’s hieroglyph to sign the papyrus receipt for the prisoners; then the escorting charioteers retired through the main gates, mounted their now almost empty chariots and set off back down the road to Luxor. The long file of prisoners was led through the inner gates into Princess Serrena’s freshly planted gardens. As they entered the waiting band burst into merry and welcoming music.