Page 41 of World Without End

All the villagers were in church, of course, including Joby and Ethna. Gwenda did not stand with her parents. She talked to her mother sometimes, but only when her father was not around. Joby had an angry red patch on his cheek where she had burned him with the blazing log. He never met her eye. She was still afraid of him, but she sensed that he was now also afraid of her.

  Ralph sat on the big wooden chair, staring at his serfs with the appraising look of a buyer at a cattle market. The court proceedings on this day consisted of a series of announcements. Nathan proclaimed the arrangements for getting the harvest in from the lord's fields, stating on which days of the coming week different villagers would be required to perform their customary duty on the lord's lands. No discussion was invited. Clearly Ralph did not intend to govern by consensus.

  There were other details of the kind Nathan dealt with every week: gleaning should be completed in Hundredacre by Monday night so that livestock could graze the stubble from Tuesday morning, and autumn plowing of Longfield would begin on Wednesday. Normally there would have been minor disputes about these plans, with the more argumentative villagers finding reasons to propose different arrangements, but today they were all quiet, waiting to get the measure of the new lord.

  When the decision came, it seemed curiously low-key. As if he were simply stating another schedule of work, Nathan said: "Wulfric will not be permitted to inherit his father's landholding, because he is only sixteen."

  Gwenda looked at Ralph. He was trying to smother a triumphant grin. His hand went to his face--unconsciously, she thought--and he touched his broken nose.

  Nathan went on: "Lord Ralph will consider what to do with the lands and give his judgment later."

  Wulfric groaned loud enough for everyone to hear. It was the decision he had been expecting, but its confirmation was bitter. She watched as he turned his back on the crowd in the church, hiding his face, and leaned against the wall as if to stop himself falling.

  "That's all for today," said Nathan.

  Ralph stood up. He walked down the aisle slowly, his eyes continually turning to the distraught Wulfric. What kind of lord would he be, Gwenda thought, if his first instinct was to use his power for revenge? Nathan followed Ralph, looking at the floor: he knew that an injustice had been done. As they left the church, a buzz of comment arose. Gwenda spoke to no one, but watched Wulfric.

  He turned from the wall, his face a picture of misery. His eyes raked the crowd and found Annet. She looked furious. Gwenda waited for her to meet Wulfric's eye, but she seemed determined not to look at him. Gwenda wondered what was going through her mind.

  Annet walked toward the door, head held high. Her father, Perkin, and the family followed. Would she not even speak to Wulfric?

  The same thought must have occurred to him, for he went after her. "Annet!" he said. "Wait."

  The place went quiet.

  Annet turned. Wulfric stood before her. "We'll still get married, won't we?" he said. Gwenda winced to hear the undignified note of pleading in his voice. Annet stared at him, apparently about to speak, but she said nothing for a long moment, and Wulfric spoke again. "Lords need good serfs to farm the land. Perhaps Ralph will give me a smaller holding--"

  "You broke his nose," she said harshly. "He will never give you anything."

  Gwenda recalled how pleased Annet had been, at the time, to have two men fighting over her.

  Wulfric said: "Then I'll be a laborer. I'm strong, I'll never lack for work."

  "But you'll be poor all your life. Is that what you're offering me?"

  "We'll be together--just as we dreamed, that day in the forest, when you told me you loved me, don't you remember?"

  "And what would life be like for me, married to a landless laborer?" Annet demanded angrily. "I'll tell you." She lifted her arm and pointed at Gwenda's mother, Ethna, standing with Joby and the three little ones. "I would be like her--grim-faced with worry and as thin as a broom handle."

  Joby was stung by this. He waved the stump of his severed arm at Annet. "You watch your mouth, you haughty minx."

  Perkin stepped in front of his daughter and made a patting gesture with both hands. "Forgive her, Joby, she's overwrought, she means no harm."

  Wulfric said: "No disrespect to Joby, but I'm not like him, Annet."

  "But you are!" she said. "You've got no land. It's why he's poor, and it's why you'll be poor, and your children will be hungry and your wife will be drab."

  It was true. In hard times the landless were the first to suffer. Dismissing your employees was the quickest way to save money. All the same, Gwenda found it hard to believe that a woman would turn down the chance of spending her life with Wulfric.

  Yet that seemed to be what Annet was doing.

  Wulfric thought so, too. Plaintively, he said: "Don't you love me anymore?"

  He had lost all his dignity and he looked pathetic; yet, at that moment, Gwenda felt more passion for him than ever before.

  "I can't eat love," Annet said, and she walked out of the church.

  Two weeks later, she married Billy Howard.

  Gwenda went to the wedding, as did everyone in the village except Wulfric. Despite the poor harvest, there was a good feast. By this marriage two large landholdings were united: Perkin's hundred acres with Billy's forty. Furthermore, Perkin had asked Ralph to give him Wulfric's family's lands. If Ralph agreed, Annet's children could be heirs to almost half the village. But Ralph had gone to Kingsbridge, promising a decision as soon as he returned.

  Perkin broached a barrel of his wife's strongest ale and slaughtered a cow. Gwenda ate and drank heartily. Her future was too uncertain for her to turn down good food.

  She played with her little sisters, Cathie and Joanie, throwing and catching a wooden ball; then she took baby Eric on her knee and sang to him. After a while her mother sat beside her and said: "What will you do now?"

  In her heart Gwenda was not completely reconciled with Ethna. They talked, and Ma asked concerned questions. Gwenda still resented her mother for forgiving Joby, but she answered the questions. "I'll live in Wulfric's barn as long as I can," she said. "Perhaps I can stay there indefinitely."

  "And if Wulfric moves out--leaves the village, say?"

  "I don't know."

  For now, Wulfric was still working in the fields, plowing-in the stubble and harrowing the fallow on the land that had been his family's, and Gwenda was helping him. They were paid the daily laborer's rate by Nathan, as they would have no part of the next harvest. Nathan was keen for them to stay, otherwise the land would deteriorate rapidly. They would continue until Ralph announced who the new tenant would be. At that point, they would have to offer themselves for hire.

  "Where is Wulfric now?" Ethna asked.

  "I assume he's not disposed to celebrate this wedding."

  "How does he feel about you?"

  Gwenda gave her mother a candid look. "He tells me I'm the best friend he's ever had."

  "What does that mean?"

  "I don't know. But it doesn't mean 'I love you,' does it?"

  "No," said her mother. "No, it doesn't mean that."

  Gwenda heard music. Aaron Appletree was playing a bagpipe, running up and down the scale in preparation for a tune. She saw Perkin coming out of his house with a pair of small drums attached to his belt. The dancing was about to begin.

  She was in no mood to dance. She could have talked to the old women, but they would only ask the same questions as her mother, and she did not want to spend the rest of the day explaining her predicament. She recalled the last village wedding, and Wulfric slightly drunk, dancing around with great leaps, embracing all the women, though still favoring Annet. Without him there was no festival for Gwenda. She gave Eric back to her mother and drifted away. Her dog, Skip, stayed behind, knowing that such parties provided a banquet of dropped food and discarded scraps.

  She went into Wulfric's house, half-hoping he might be there, but the place was empty. It was a sturdy timber house, of post-and-beam const
ruction, but with no chimney--such luxuries were for the rich. She looked in both ground-floor rooms and the upstairs bedroom. The place was as tidy and clean as it had been when his mother was alive, but that was because he used only one room. He ate and slept in the kitchen. The place was cold and unhomely. It was a family house with no family.

  She went to the barn. It was full of bundled hay, for winter fodder, and sheaves of barley and wheat waiting to be threshed. She climbed the ladder to the loft and lay down in the hay. After a while she fell asleep.

  When she woke up, it was dark. She had no idea what time it was. She stepped outside to look at the sky. There was a low moon behind streaks of cloud, and she calculated that it was only an hour or two after nightfall. As she stood by the barn door, still half-asleep, she heard weeping.

  She knew instantly that it was Wulfric. She had heard him cry once before, when he saw the bodies of his parents and his brother lying on the floor of Kingsbridge Cathedral. He cried with great sobs that seemed torn from the depths of his chest. Tears came to her own eyes as she listened to his grief.

  After a while, she went into the house.

  She could see him by the light of the moon. He lay facedown in the straw, his back heaving as he sobbed. He must have heard her lift the latch, but he was too distraught to care, and he did not look up.

  Gwenda knelt beside him and tentatively touched his mane of hair. He made no response. She rarely touched him, and to stroke his hair was an unknown delight. Her caress seemed to soothe him, for his weeping subsided.

  After a while, she dared to lie down beside him. She expected him to push her away, but he did not. He turned his face to her, eyes closed. She dabbed at his cheeks with her sleeve, wiping away the tears. She was thrilled to be this close to him, and to be permitted these small intimacies. She longed to kiss his closed eyelids, but she was afraid that would be a step too far, and she restrained herself.

  A few moments later, she realized he was asleep.

  She was pleased. It was a sign of how comfortable he felt with her, and it meant she could stay with him, at least until he woke up.

  It was autumn, and the night was cold. As Wulfric's breathing became slower and steadier, she got up stealthily and took his blanket from its hook on the wall. She draped it over him. He slept on undisturbed.

  Despite the chill in the air, she slipped her dress over her head and lay beside him naked, arranging the blanket so that it covered them both.

  She moved close to him and laid her cheek against his chest. She could hear his heartbeat and feel the breeze of his breath on the top of her head. The heat of his big body warmed her. In time, the moon went down, and the room became pitch dark. She felt she could have stayed like this forever.

  She did not sleep. She had no intention of wasting any of this precious time. She savored every moment, knowing it might never happen again. She touched him cautiously, careful not to wake him. Through his light wool shift, her fingertips explored the muscles of his chest and back, the bones of his ribs and hips, the turn of his shoulder and the knob of his elbow.

  He moved in his sleep several times. He turned and lay flat on his back, whereupon she put her head on his shoulder and her arm across his flat belly. Later he turned away, and then she moved really close, fitting herself into the S-shape of his body, pressing her breasts against his broad back, her hips into his, her knees into the backs of his knees. Then he turned back to her, flinging one arm across her shoulders and one leg over her thighs. His leg was painfully heavy, but she relished the ache as proof that she was not dreaming.

  He dreamed, though. In the middle of the night he suddenly kissed her, thrusting his tongue roughly into her mouth, grasping her breast with one big hand. She felt his erection as he rubbed up against her clumsily. For a moment she was bewildered. He could have her whatever way he wanted, but it was unlike him to be anything but gentle. She put her hand to his groin and grasped his penis, which was sticking out through the slit in his underdrawers. Then, just as suddenly, he turned away and lay on his back, breathing rhythmically, and she realized that he had never woken up, but had touched her in a dream. He was undoubtedly dreaming of Annet, she realized ruefully.

  She did not sleep, but she daydreamed. She imagined him introducing her to a stranger, saying: "This is my wife, Gwenda." She saw herself pregnant, but still working in the fields, and fainting in the middle of the day; and in her fantasy he picked her up and carried her home, and bathed her face with cold water. She saw him as an old man, playing with their grandchildren, indulging them, giving them apples and honeycombs.

  Grandchildren? she thought wryly. It was a big edifice to build on the strength of his allowing her to put her arm around him while he cried himself to sleep.

  When she was thinking that it must be almost dawn, and her stay in paradise might soon be over, he begin to stir. His breathing changed. He rolled onto his back. Her arm fell across his chest and she left it there, tucking her hand under his arm. After a few moments she sensed that he was awake, thinking. She lay still, afraid that if she spoke or moved she would break the spell.

  Eventually he rolled back toward her. He put his arm around her, and she felt his hand on the bare skin of her back. He stroked her there, but she did not know what the caress meant: he seemed to be exploring, surprised to find that she was naked. His hand went up to her neck and all the way down to the curve of her hip.

  At last he spoke. As if afraid of being overheard, he whispered: "She married him."

  Gwenda whispered back: "Yes."

  "Her love is weak."

  "True love is never weak."

  His hand remained on her hip, maddeningly close to the places where she wanted him to touch her.

  He said: "Will I ever stop loving her?"

  Gwenda took his hand and moved it. "She has two breasts, like these," she said, still whispering. She did not know why she did it: intuition was guiding her, and she followed it for good or ill.

  He groaned, and she felt his hand close gently over one, then the other.

  "And she has hair down here, like this," she said, moving his hand again. His breathing became faster. Leaving his hand there, she explored his body beneath his wool shift, and found that he had an erection. She grasped it and said: "Her hand feels just like this." He began to move his hips rhythmically.

  She suddenly felt afraid that the act would be over before it was fully consummated. She did not want that. It was all or nothing now. She pushed him gently on to his back, then quickly raised herself and straddled him. "Inside, she's hot and wet," she said, and she lowered herself onto him. Although she had done it before, it had not been anything like this; she felt filled up and yet she wanted more. She moved down against the thrust of his hips, then up as he withdrew. She lowered her face to his and kissed his bearded mouth.

  He held her head in his hands and kissed her back.

  "She loves you," Gwenda whispered to him. "She loves you so much."

  He cried out with passion, and she was rocked up and down, riding his hips like a wild pony, until at last she felt him come inside her, and he gave one last cry, then said: "Oh, I love you too! I love you, Annet!"

  28

  Wulfric went back to sleep, but Gwenda lay awake. She was too excited to sleep. She had won his love--she knew it. It hardly mattered that she had had to half-pretend to be Annet. He had made love to her with such hunger, and had kissed her afterward with such tenderness and gratitude, that she felt he was hers forever.

  When her heart stopped racing and her mind calmed down, she thought about his inheritance. She was not willing to give up on it, especially now. As dawn broke outside, she racked her brains for some way to save it. When Wulfric woke up, she said: "I'm going to Kingsbridge."

  He was startled. "Why?"

  "To find out whether there's some way you can still inherit."

  "How?"

  "I don't know. But Ralph hasn't given the land to anyone else yet, so there's still a chance. And
you deserve it--you've worked so hard and suffered so much."

  "What will you do?"

  "I'll see my brother Philemon. He understands these things better than we do. He'll know what we need to do."

  Wulfric looked at her strangely.

  She said: "What is it?"

  He said: "You really love me, don't you?"

  She smiled, full of happiness, and said: "Let's do it again, shall we?"

  On the following morning she was at Kingsbridge Priory, sitting on the stone bench by the vegetable garden, waiting for Philemon. During the long walk from Wigleigh she had gone over every second of Sunday night in her mind, relishing the physical pleasures, puzzling over the words spoken. Wulfric still had not said that he loved her, but he had said: "You really love me." And he had seemed pleased that she loved him, albeit a bit bewildered by the strength of her passion.

  She longed to win back his birthright. She yearned for it almost as much as she had yearned for him. She wanted it for both of them. Even if he were a landless laborer like her father, she would marry him, given the chance; but she wanted better for them both, and she was determined to get it.

  When Philemon came out of the priory into the garden to greet her, she saw immediately that he was wearing the robes of a novice monk. "Holger!" she said, using his real name in her shock. "You're a novice--

  He smiled proudly, and benignly overlooked the use of his old name. "It was one of Godwyn's first acts as prior," he said. "He is a wonderful man. It's such an honor to serve him." He sat beside her on the bench. It was a mild autumn day, cloudy but dry.

  "And how are you getting on with your lessons?"

  "Slowly. It's hard to learn to read and write when you're grown-up." He grimaced. "The small boys progress faster than I do. But I can copy out the Lord's Prayer in Latin."

  She envied him. She could not even write her name. "That's wonderful!" she said. Her brother was on his way to achieving his life's dream, and becoming a monk. Perhaps the status of novice might ameliorate the feelings of worthlessness that, she felt sure, accounted for his sometimes being sly and deceitful.

  "But what about you?" he said. "Why have you come to Kingsbridge?"

  "Did you know that Ralph Fitzgerald has become lord of Wigleigh?"

  "Yes. He's here in town, staying at the Bell, living it up."