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“Well, there was one time. …”
Suddenly Max was by my side. “Jack as the antihero? Dude, I’ll bring the popcorn. ”
TWENTY-TWO
FRESHMAN YEAR
The Surface. Eating lunch with Jack and Jules.
The sun shone down on the school’s courtyard tables. We liked to eat outside whenever the weather gave us the chance.
Jack took a bite of his sandwich, big enough to make half of it disappear. “You’re coming to Paxton’s party on Friday, right?” he said with a mouthful of turkey.
Brent Paxton’s parties were legendary. His parents owned a house on the Deer Valley ski resort, and when they were out of town, the entire school could be found passed out on his floor or hanging from the rafters. Or making out in one of the eight bedrooms. I’d heard about the parties even when I was in middle school, and now that I was a freshman, I was officially invited.
Jules answered before I could. “I am. Ryan Maetani asked me to go with him. ”
I raised my eyebrows at her. “Finally Ryan succumbs to your spell. When did this happen?”
Jules explained how the magic happened over chemistry lab that morning. Jack was quiet, listening to Jules but watching me. At the first opportunity, he said, “What about you, Becks?”
I shrugged, and absentmindedly screwed the cap back on my Diet Coke bottle. “I would, but since Jules has a date”—I cut my eyes over to her—“I don’t really have anyone to go with. ”
Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Jules beat him to it. “I know someone who would die to go with you. ”
“Who?” Jack and I said in unison.
Jules glanced around playfully before leaning in and saying, “Andrew Hanks. ”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, please. ”
“I’m serious. Jack, you should see the way Andrew gazes at our girl. It’s like one of those cartoons. His eyes become little hearts that pop out of their sockets. ” She put her hands to her eyes and pulsed her fingers outward.
I threw a grape at her. “Shut up. ”
“Hey, I sit behind him. I have a clear shot at him. Most days I have to mop up after him from all the drooling. ”
“Stop it. ”
She shrugged. “I’m just saying. He’d stop a train for you. All you’d have to do is mention the party, and you’ll have yourself a date. ”
“I don’t know. …”
“Jack, help me out here. Tell her. ”
At the mention of Jack’s name, I realized he’d grown awfully quiet. “Tell her what?” he said, frowning. He obviously wasn’t too interested in the conversation.
“What would a guy want to hear from the girl he secretly crushed on?”
Jack stared hard at the table, and I couldn’t be sure, but it looked like the tips of his ears turned bright red.
“How would I know?”
Jules sighed loudly. “Well, I know the girls never give you the chance to secretly pine. One piney look from you and the clothes start dropping, and then they’re all ‘Ooooh, your place or mine?’” Jules flipped her hair dramatically. “But imagine for a moment that you’re not another species. And you were crushing on our dear Becks. What would you want her to say to you?”
I played along and watched Jack. He finally lifted his gaze to meet mine. He had the strangest expression on his face. He seemed … embarrassed. And maybe a little bit angry. Or he might’ve just been really annoyed with the conversation.
“I have no idea. Crushing on Becks would be like crushing on my sister. I can’t imagine it. ”
This time it was my face that turned red.
Jack looked away, as if he were suddenly interested in the group of people next to us. Jules stared at Jack, her eyes narrowed, and a strange little grin appeared on one side of her mouth. I didn’t think it was very empathetic of her, considering I was mortified at what Jack had just said.
She looked to me, then announced, “I’ve gotta go. Return a book I borrowed. ”
Great. Now she was abandoning me. Before I could compose myself enough to realize I didn’t want to be left alone with Jack, Jules was gone.
And I was alone with Jack.
Who was tapping his spork on the table and studying the faux-wood grain so hard you’d think he had a test on the pattern next period.
I was still humiliated, but I couldn’t figure out if it was because what Jack had said was really rude, or if I was so offended because of how I felt about him.
“I’m not your sister. ”
“I know. ”
“…”
“…”
“Is it so hard to believe someone would like me?”
Jack finally looked at me. “Of course not, Becks. It’s just … I didn’t …”
His voice trailed off as something behind me caught his attention. If it were possible for his dark eyes to get any darker, Jack’s totally did.
I turned around. There was Andrew Hanks. Standing awkwardly behind me, a chemistry book in his hand.
“Hi, Nikki. ”
“Hi, Andrew. ” I gave him my widest smile. If that whole thing with Jack hadn’t happened, I probably would’ve dialed down the enthusiasm. “What’s up?”
He shoved the chemistry book toward me, almost hitting my chest with it. “I wondered if you could maybe go over today’s lab with me? I just ran into Jules, and she told me you understood this stuff. ”
Jack snorted from behind me. I shot him a glare, and he mumbled, “Sorry. ”
I turned back to Andrew. “Sure. Have a seat. Do you two know each other? Jack, this is Andrew. Andrew, this is—”
“I know who he is,” Jack said in place of a greeting.
Andrew sat slowly, looking from me to Jack. “If I’m interrupting …”
“Not at all!” I said.
“Please, do sit!” Jack said, matching my exuberance and swinging his arm graciously in front of him. Then he feigned instant boredom and turned to observe the rest of the courtyard while he finished his lunch. Why was he so angry? I looked at Andrew. Maybe the two of them had some history I didn’t know about.
Andrew placed his notebook open on the table. Both pages were filled with scribbles and eraser marks. “I’ve tried to get the answer three different ways, but I’m coming up with nothing. ”
I studied his notes, followed the equation, and mentally pictured how I’d accomplished the same problem. “Here,” I said, pointing to one part of his equation. “You’re using the wrong value for Avogadro’s number. It’s six-point-oh-two-two times ten to the twenty-third. You have six-point-two-oh. ”
Jack interjected. “It’s only, like, the first thing you should’ve learned on the first day of Chem. ”
I breathed through my nose. Jack was already in advanced chemistry, and just like everything else, he excelled at it. His dad was a chemical engineer, so Jack had probably had the number memorized from infancy.
I stared at Jack. “Not everyone grew up with bedtime stories like ‘The Exciting History of Avogadro’s Number. ’”
This time it was Andrew’s turn to snort. Jack handed him his bottle of water. “Here. Wash it down. ”
The rest of the lunch was more of the same, but later in the day Andrew did ask me to go to Paxton’s party. Before, I might have turned him down for a quiet evening at home with a good book.
But now I said yes.
NOW
The Everneath. The Ring of Wind.
“Man, Jack sounds like a real tool,” Cole said.
“You don’t understand,” I said, kicking a rock off the trail. I felt a little guilty for sharing a story that could give Cole the opportunity to put down Jack, but I remembered the whole thing through a different perspective. Because I knew now that Jack was struggling with his feelings for me at the time. I could forgive him a lot for that.
“My tether’s back,” I said.
Right then Ashe came up to us. “Wanderers. A few paths away. We’ve got to move. ”
Wanderers. Again. At the mention of them, I realized how tired I’d become.
“Why don’t you just kick them?” I said, stifling a yawn.
“Kicking only works on humans,” Cole said. “Let’s go. ”
Of course kicking only worked on humans. How convenient. I kicked the ground, and for a brief moment I acted unconsciously instead of intentionally. I quickly turned to move, and I got a little to close to the wall of wind. A particularly strong gust caught the ever yours note out of my hand and sucked it away and inside the wall.
I didn’t think. I jumped after it.
The wind lifted me off my feet. Jostled me above the ground like a rag doll. I tried to breathe in, but the wind tunnel was so powerful that I couldn’t catch any air inside my mouth. My hair whipped viciously at my face.
The torrent slowed for a second, as if the wall were taking in a breath, and I sank. I caught a glimpse of the others. It was just a quick glance, but I could see Cole trying to jump in after me. Max was holding him back. As I was about to hit the ground, the gale blasted all around me again, throwing my limbs in different directions. My left arm twisted behind me. I thought it would rip off.
I screamed, but the sound got lost. The more I struggled, the more I imagined my tendons ripping. So I stopped. Went limp.
Jack, I thought. I couldn’t compose my thoughts into a last message except to say his name. Jack.
I started to sink, but the cyclone was catching its breath again. If I was going to do anything, it would have to be now; but what could I do? I reached out toward the pathway. I could see Cole struggling against Max. Reaching for me. I saw his hand, but it wasn’t near enough. I couldn’t stretch out past the wind.
The reprieve was over. A fresh gust tossed me higher. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could survive. The wind would tear me to pieces, and I would never touch ground again.
A blast of air rotated me around so that my feet were heading into the wall. A flash of an idea hit me. The water wall had a solid middle. Maybe this wall did too. I straightened my entire body and put my arms out wide, spreading my fingers so that if the wind was going to move me in any direction, it would be farther into the wall. The same blast of air pushed me in. I pointed my toes. Tried to elongate my body as much as possible.
And then I felt my toes brush against something solid deep inside the wind wall. Before the gusts could carry me away again, I flexed my feet, bent my knees, and shot them toward the solid thing. My feet hit it; and with no force to counteract, I went sailing out of the wind wall.
At the wall’s highest point.
Cole must have seen me shoot out from the wall. He dived toward me, cushioning my impact with the ground. We landed in a heap.
I shivered. It was more like a spasm. My arms and legs were shaking with the relief of being released from their contortions.
Cole scrambled to a sitting position and put his arms around me, holding me as I shook. Max stood a few feet away. His eye was red and swollen.
“What happened?” I asked, squinting at his face.
Cole glanced at Max. “I wanted to jump in after you. Max disagreed with the appropriateness of that reaction. And then his face ran into my fist. ”
Max was panting. “You wouldn’t have been able to save her by jumping in. ”
“Well, now we’ll never know, will we?” Cole smirked at Max, who grinned good-naturedly. Whatever tension was between them had passed, although now I had an idea of what Cole meant when he said he brought Max along to keep him from doing anything stupid.
But as I stared at them, the meaning behind their faces began to fade away. I glanced down at my empty hand.
“My token,” I said weakly. “It’s gone. ”
TWENTY-THREE
NOW
The Everneath. The Ring of Wind.
Nik, you don’t need the token. ”
I heard Cole’s words, and I immediately knew he was lying. I needed the note more than ever in the Ring of Wind. I sat on the ground, my knees pulled up to my chest, my head buried in my hands. My brain felt as if it were made of cloud. It drifted around in my head and out of my ears in puffy white wisps.
“Can you see it?” I said, my voice muffled by my knees.
“See what?”
“My brain,” I said. “It’s vapor. ”
I heard someone sigh and then a deeper voice. “She’s gone, Cole. It was the wind. ”
My toes bounced up and down, and I started to rock back and forth. “I lost something,” I said. “I can’t find it. ”
Someone grabbed my shoulders. “Look at me, Nik. ” I thought I responded, but he shook harder. “Look at me!”
I raised my head to see dark eyes and blond hair. Cole. His voice came out in an urgent growl. “You don’t need the token. You have your memories. Tell me a story about Jack. Now!”
Jack. I knew him, of course. I loved him. But I couldn’t think of anything to say. His face floated in the clouds inside my head, with no clues that would ground it to a memory, no tether to our history.