Bastard. Too bad he hadn't been stralen.
"You okay?"
He blinked at Felicia's worried frown. Smiling, he fisted his hands in her beautiful curls. "Fine."
"You sure you're not mad at me?"
"For this? No, baby. Not even a little."
Her eyes widened. "Are you mad at me for something else?"
"Gods, no!"
Letting out a relieved breath, she gave him a light squeeze before she pulled away. "Good. I'll go call my brother and make his day."
Talyn bit back a groan at the reminder. He really wasn't a social creature. Too many years of being rebuffed at best, ridiculed at worst had made him extremely skittish around anyone else. Though, to be honest, he'd had a friend once.
For five minutes.
It'd been his first day of military training. When he'd moved into the barracks, his bunkmate had been nice and welcoming. Until his CO had walked in and announced Talyn's lack-Vest status to everyone there.
So had ended any semblance of normality.
Although, once he'd entered the Vested league and had begun winning titles, Andarions would come up to talk to him. But only because of his fame. He was well aware of the fact that they didn't know him or care to befriend him. He was like a zoo animal in a cage. They wanted to pet his fur and take a photo, then beat a hasty retreat from his presence.
At least Felicia would be with him for the ordeal. That alone made this bearable.
She stuck her head back in the door. "Do you think you'll feel up to dinner next week?"
"Sure."
With a dazzling smile, she returned to her call. "He says that's fine. No, Lo, I'm not telling him that." She paused for a second to roll her eyes. "Fine, I'll tell him. My brother says that your last fight paid off his transport. He loves you for that. He's hoping with your next fight that he can top off his son's university tuition."
"Tell him thanks. I'll do my best for him."
She laughed at whatever her brother said. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you then. Bye." She hung up. "You made his day. I've never heard him so happy."
"I'd much rather make his sister's day."
Pressing her lips together, she closed the distance between them. "And I'd rather make yours."
"You did that the minute you came home."
Felicia hated the weepy feeling she had every time he said something so sweet to her. She'd always prided herself on being pragmatic. Always on keeping a level head, no matter what, but all that went out the window whenever he was around. He made her want to believe in fairy tales and lies. In males who were decent and loving.
Things she knew didn't really exist. She was living proof of what happened after a few years of marriage, once the new wore off. Her father had contracted with her mother, saying he loved her and would never love another, and abandoned his wife's bed.
And since Felicia's birth, her mother had cycled through patrons routinely. They were all married. They all claimed to love her mother for a year or two, or sometimes as long as five, which seemed to be the magic number. And then they were taken with someone who was shiny and new.
Love, unlike bills, never lasted. Hearts were made to wander. Unless a male was stralen, there was no hope of a lasting relationship with one. A stralen male was one in a billion.
Maybe even more rare.
She kissed Talyn's hand, wishing for impossible things. She was his mistress and that was all she'd ever be. Females like her didn't marry and they didn't stay in committed relationships with any male.
Never mind the Andarion laws that would never allow Talyn to marry at all. Or have children. She had no idea who his father was, but he must have been extremely important and high-ranking to have been pledged to a Winged Blood Clan Batur.
Out of curiosity, she'd investigated Galene's lineage and seen the prestige on her side that went back for generations. They weren't just doctors, warriors, politicians, and lawyers. They were nobility. Talyn's maternal great-grandfather had been the Andarion her father had replaced as the queen's advisor.
Most likely, his father had been even more connected and well-lineaged than Galene. It was how unifications usually worked. Unless the female was royal-blooded, the male in most marriages held a higher lineage. Talyn's father might have even been royal. It would make sense given how tight-lipped they were about the male's identity.
It would also explain Chrisen's hatred for Talyn. And if that was true, then what had been done to Talyn was the greatest travesty of all. How could he stand the injustice of it?
That, too, said a lot about him--that he never ranted against his lot. He went on courageously, and with an honor and dignity that amazed her.
Talyn brushed his thumb over her brow. "You okay?"
"Just worried about you."
"Don't be. I'm a cockroach. Even after nuclear-level devastation, I'll survive."
She snorted. "While I believe that might be true, I don't want to find out." She snuggled up against him and held him close as a bad feeling went through her. "You're not going to get caught up in royal politics at the palace, are you?"
Talyn frowned at her strange question. "Not intentionally. Why?"
"I watch the news. I see how bloody the royal family can be. Especially now with this whole new group that's been working against them."
"You mean WAR?"
She nodded.
Talyn could understand her fear. Warriors Against Royalty was the latest group to try and overthrow a monarchy that was drunk on its own power. And given what his mother had told him about the eton Anatoles and what he'd experienced with Chrisen, he could understand why. The gods knew he was no fan of the current reigning order that held him down with a crushing foot on his throat. He sure wouldn't weep to see the royal house overthrown and a new system of government put in place.
But that being said ...
"I'm not a terrorist, Felicia. I have no intention of committing treason, especially not after I've taken oaths to uphold the monarchy and laws of Andaria. My mind doesn't work that way. Besides, I wouldn't be the only one who'd pay for it. Given my mother's rank, any military action I might take against the crown could blow back on her, and I'm not about to risk that. As you've seen, I'm a male of simple needs. All I want is to keep you and my mother safe and happy. That's it."
"Okay. Just remember that when you're at the palace and all those gorgeous, scantily clad females are throwing themselves at you."
He laughed bitterly. "Trust me. They won't, and even if they did, I'd have no interest in them. At all. The only female I want in my bed is currently in my bed."
Felicia's breath caught as she felt him hardening against her hip. As she saw the hooded expression on his face, and his breathing changed. Gone was her playful male and in his place was the fierce predator that truthfully scared her a little. It was too easy to forget just how large and dangerous her male was while he was being playful and sweet with her. But at the end of the day, Talyn was a trained killer. In the Ring and outside it. Every part of him was honed by battle and hardened by life.
His gaze holding hers, he pushed her skirt up and pulled her panties down her legs. With an astounding gentleness, he fingered her until she was slick and panting. Only then did he slide himself inside her and thrust against her hips. This time, he was almost feral as he made love to her. Yet even so, he took care not to hurt her and to make sure that she came first.
Talyn growled as he felt her release and saw the ecstasy on her face. He loved the way she said his name whenever he was inside her. Loved how she clutched at him and gently clawed his back with her nails.
Best of all, he adored the scent of her skin and hair. It was as if she'd been made solely for him. He could forgive the gods everything they'd done to him if they allowed her to stay in his life.
And yet as he came in her arms, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen. Something that would tear her out of his world and leave him coldly solo again.
He buried
his face in her hair and tried to tell himself it was an unfounded fear. But the past wouldn't leave him alone. It tormented him with memories he didn't want.
Tay-lyn No-kin,
Born in sin,
No matter what, you'll never win!
Grinding his teeth, he tried to blot out the memory of the rhyme other kids had used to torment him when he'd been a child in school. He'd hated his mother for giving him a name that was so easy for Hyshians to mispronounce and rhyme with his bastard status.
While Felicia didn't seem to mind the fact that he wasn't Vested right now, sooner or later, that would change. She wouldn't be in med school unless she wanted to better her caste for unification. One day, she'd want children--she'd said as much on her agency questionnaire. Something he could never legally give her.
They couldn't even adopt.
And here he was stralen for a female he knew he couldn't keep. Ever.
Damn them. His classmates had been right, after all. He couldn't win. Even though thirteen members of his father's family had once held back an invading alien army and saved this planet from the Oksanans, they hadn't done it single-handedly.
They'd had each other to rely on.
Someone at their back.
One single Andarion couldn't change anything. He'd stood strong his whole life against storm after storm. Vowing with each one that he would not be broken.
That was never supposed to change.
But as he looked down at the female in his arms, he knew that it had. And Felicia was the one thing that would ultimately break him. He was sure of it. In a life he'd carefully, meticulously carved in blood and stone, she was his only vulnerable spot.
The gods had never shown him mercy. Not once. There was no way they'd have sent her to him and turned him stralen for her unless they were planning to use her against him somehow.
That made sense.
Like some mindless pawn, he'd allowed her inside his heart. Now it was too late.
He was damned.
And he had no doubt she would be the angel of death that delivered the killing blow to his worthless heart.
CHAPTER 11
Felicia smoothed the collar of Talyn's black shirt down. His mother had returned to her post yesterday, and it'd been the two of them alone ever since. Something she'd enjoyed a lot more than she should have.
"Remember, I'm having the dinner here, so that as soon as you're sick of my brother, all you have to do is say you don't feel well and I'll eject him from the condo."
Talyn laughed at her. "The way you say that tells me you want me to feel sick before dinner is even served."
She wrinkled her nose at his perceptiveness. "He's always been a bit of a booger with me. I'm hoping he'll be on good behavior. If he's not, I might be the one who starts feeling ill."
He kissed her brow. "One frown and I'll toss him out myself."
The building intercom buzzed. Felicia stepped away to tell security that it was fine for her brother and nephews to come up.
Talyn took a minute to finish dressing. In all honesty, he dreaded this. He'd seldom had a decent encounter with other Andarions. And he'd meant what he told Felicia--if her brother said one thoughtless or mean thing to her, he would toss him out on his ass faster than the male could blink.
Taking a deep breath for courage, he pulled his jacket on and went to join them.
Her brother and his two teenage sons were stepping out of the lift.
Felicia gasped at the sight of the kids. One was average Andarion height ... which reached Talyn's shoulder. His younger brother was an inch or two shorter. Handsome and lean, both had black braided hair that told Talyn the teens were considered adults in their world, and eligible for marriage.
The fact that Felicia didn't hug or touch them was a big clue as to how they normally treated her--like she wasn't family or friend. And that seriously pissed him off. How dare they disregard her so. She was worth more than the rest of the Andarion race combined.
With an apprehension that didn't help his mood, she stopped in front of them with her hands primly folded in front of her. "Wow! You two have really grown. Look at you, Brach. I think you've grown a foot since I last saw you. And you, Gavarian. You look like you're about ready to join the armada with your paka."
His hands folded behind his back, Gavarian blushed. "I start my service next fall."
Talyn froze as he realized why her brother was so familiar to him. And why he had the bearing of a staunch military official.
Minsid hell ...
Yes, his usual bad luck was holding fast. No wonder Felicia hadn't bothered telling him her brother's full name. Talyn would have balked over this disaster.
"Commander ezul Terronova." Talyn gave her brother a sharp salute. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. Welcome to my home."
With a bright smile, he waved Talyn's salute off. "None of that. We're not in uniform here, Major. Just having a nice dinner with family." He held his hand out to him. "Call me Lorens."
Talyn hesitated before he reached out and shook it. "Pleased to meet you, sir."
Laughing as he stepped back, Lorens passed an amused look to Felicia. "He can't help it, can he?"
Her face lighting into a beautiful smile, she shook her head. "He's always very proper."
Talyn fell into a relaxed military pose similar to Gavarian's. "Sorry. My mother beat me down when I was young over my manners." He turned toward her nephews, who were eyeing him with a mixture of fear and awe. "Which of you is the birthday boy?"
The older one, Gavarian, stepped forward. "That would be me. I'm turning eighteen."
"Happy birthday."
"Thanks."
Brach smiled so wide, he exposed his fangs. "Mine was last month. My paka took me on my Endurance. Did your paka take you for yours?"
Talyn cringed at the most natural assumption. "I went with my matarra."
Brach made a face at the mere thought. "For real? What did you do with your mom?"
"Got grounded for a year over my actions during the climb, ate more vegetables than the gods ever intended Andarions to eat, and had to do all the dishes. Definitely a lesson in Endurance ... in more ways than one."
They all laughed.
Felicia gestured toward the dining room. "And speaking of vegetables, everything is ready. I'm sure you boys are hungry."
"We're always hungry, Felicia," Brach said as he skipped toward the table.
Lorens snorted. "We're going broke on the food bill. Either of you know someone willing to pay a fair price for a healthy Andarion teen?"
Laughing, Felicia led them into the formal dining room that overlooked the city, where the catering company had already set everything up.
Talyn was grateful that she put her brother at the opposite end of the table and took a seat to his right. Times like this, he was acutely aware of just how socially awkward and reclusive he was. He seriously hated interacting with others.
The only thing that made this bearable was the sexy red dress Felicia wore. One that made him curse their company and wish for five minutes alone to take care of the heavy need in his groin.
"I still can't believe that I'm actually sitting here with the Iron Hammer. This is just..." Lorens swept his gaze over his sons before he chose what must be a more appropriate word. "Incredible. So Hammer, how's it looking for your next match? I was reading that it's with Death Warrant?"
A caterer brought out the first course. Talyn thanked the female server before he answered. "It is. While I respect Dalun's abilities, and in particular his right hook, I expect to mop the floor with him in three to four rounds."
"Aren't you scared he might kill you?" Gavarian asked.
Talyn shook his head. "I couldn't do what I do, if I was."
Brach's eyes widened. "How is it that you've never been defeated?"
Talyn passed an amused glance to Felicia. "Want to know the secret?"
He nodded eagerly.
Talyn sat back in all earnestness. "Every mornin
g before a fight, I sacrifice two goats to the gods."
"For real?"
He laughed. "No. I just train hard, study my opponents, and eat right."
"I want to Ring fight." Gavarian glared at his father. "But I'm not allowed to."
"I keep telling him how dangerous it is. He equates it to schoolyard fights and his wrestling matches."
Talyn choked at that. "Listen to your paka, Gavarian. It's not like any fight you've ever had. I promise you."
Gavarian snorted. "How can it be different?"
Talyn bit back a snort of derision. How he wished he could have been that arrogant and foolish at that age. But the gods had never allowed him such naivete. "When we step into that Ring, it's not over a girl or hurt feelings, or with school referees who want to protect us from harm, and make sure we follow game rules. It's for honor and glory. With only one law. Two warriors walk in. Only one walks out. You're not facing a bully or former friend who's ticked off. It's cold-blooded ruthlessness. All-out war. Every punch or kick is one from someone who is trained to put every ounce of their strength and weight behind the blow. You've never been really hit until you take a punch with a ton of weight behind it. The first time you receive a pro hit, you have this moment where you think, did I just lose a kidney? Or control of my bladder? No, wait, it's my mind. Definitely every brain cell I possess ... I have to be crazy to be in here. What the heck was I thinking? Where's the exit? Medic! Help!"
They laughed.
"I don't believe that for an instant. Not the way you fight." Gavarian reached for his drink.
"It's the truth. I swear. It's not as glamorous as you think it is. There's a big difference between sitting in the stands, watching the fight, and being the idiot in the Ring looking out at the crowd with blood streaming into your eyes. Take my word for it, you'd much rather be tasting snack foods and soda than your own blood, sweat, and bile."
"Yeah, but the cheers from the crowd--"
"Don't register through the roar in your ears from your heartbeat and the sound of blood rushing through your body."
"Really?"
"Really. The only thing I hear in a Ring is the sound of my trainer calling drill moves from practice. That and the voice in my head saying I'm an absolute moron for being there, and telling me to run while I still have all my body parts attached."