“What did you want to say to me that couldn’t be said in the dining area?” I asked him.
He looked at me, his eyes wide. “That I still care for you, Lucian. I have never bonded myself to another because I always hoped you would come back into my life.”
“Hylorn—” I began, uncertain what to say, how to tell him.
Suddenly, Hylorn was in my arms. “I’ve missed you so much, Lucian,” he murmured, nuzzling against me. “I’ve thought of you every night for years. And now we can finally be together.”
“No,” I said, “we can’t.” I wanted to push him away but he was clinging to me too tightly. And I felt bad for him—bad for what I had to tell him. We had meant everything to each other once—a ghost of that affection still lingered in my own heart. “Hylorn,” I told him as gently as I could. “I’m already bonded—I have a bond-mate and a female that we both love.”
“I heard that was only temporary.” He looked up at me, his heart in his big, green eyes. “Heard it was an accidental bond to another Alpha of all things!”
“Drace is an Alpha,” I said shortly. “But—”
“Really? I thought it was a joke!” Hylorn looked at me wide-eyed. “Lucian, be real—you can’t possibly be bonded to another Alpha. What you need is a sweet, submissive Beta—someone who’s going to take care of you.”
“Hylorn—” I began, still trying to find a way to push him away without hurting him.
“He can’t please you like I can,” he whispered. And then he placed his hand over my heart. “Bond-mate,” he said, looking me earnestly in the eyes. “I heart-pledge to you—my time, my talent, and my treasures, such as they are. My love and loyalty, always and only for you. May we never be parted.”
“Hylorn…” I put my own hand on his chest to push him away from me.
And that was when I saw Drace—standing in the doorway of the food-prep area with his arms crossed over his broad chest and a scowl on his face. I had no idea how long he’d been watching or what he had seen and heard.
“Drace!” I exclaimed, trying to extricate myself from the unwanted embrace. But by the time I finally disentangled myself from Hylorn, my bond-mate was gone. Though I searched my entire apartment, calling his name, I couldn’t find him anywhere.
Drace
“Well, well, I thought I might find you here.”
I looked up from my pacing, startled. I’d been walking up and down the long main corridor of Lucian’s ship for the past hour, trying to make sense of what I’d seen.
Lucian, in the arms of a Beta—of the same Beta he’d told Rylee and me about—the one he’d been so desperate to tie his life to and bond with. The two of them heart-pledging to each other—then the look of horror on Lucian’s face when he saw me. And after that, the terrible surge of guilt that had come through our bond as loud as any confession.
Fucking cheating bastard!
He’d called out to me but I hadn’t stopped—not even to talk to Rylee, who had watched in confusion as I left the apartment. I needed to be alone, I told myself—needed to think without anyone else around to cloud the issue. But an hour of solitude hadn’t done me a fucking bit of good—I was still madder than hell and as hurt as if Lucian had taken a konji blade and stabbed me right in the heart. Not only had he broken the pledge he had made to Rylee and me—he had pledged himself to another! It was the worst kind of treachery and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
And now, to top it off, I had company.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, frowning as Lucian’s mother stepped into the ship and closed the pnemo-seal behind her.
“Looking for you, of course, dear. I heard what happened from poor Hylorn.” She shook her head sadly and made a tsking sound. “Such a shame.”
“Yeah, a real fucking shame,” I muttered. “How did you even get in here?”
“Oh, I make it my business to have access to my son at all times.” She smiled smugly.
“You really like to keep him under your thumb, don’t you?” I gave her a look of deep disgust. “I know what you did to him—keeping him from bonding with a Beta just because he couldn’t find one you approved of. Making him stay alone—lonely—all his life.”
“I don’t think he’s lonely anymore, do you?” She raised an eyebrow at me archly. “Not now that Hylorn is back in the picture.”
“You set that up,” I accused. “You invited that fucking Beta just to lure Lucian away from Rylee and me.”
“All I did was invite Hylorn to the party. I didn’t make Lucian heart-pledge to him. He did that all on his own.” She shrugged easily, the high collar of her fancy silver dress rustling.
“You—” I began.
“It’s actually a good thing you bore witness to their tender moment—even if it was a little awkward,” she went on, ignoring me. “At least now you know who Lucian’s heart really belongs to. It’s good to get it out in the open—before things between you and my son and that off-worlder girl got too serious.”
“He heart-pledged to me and Rylee too,” I snarled. “And we sealed our bond. That seems pretty fucking serious to me.”
“Yes, but you can break that bond with the nifty little artifact you found,” she pointed out, her eyes glittering. “And if you love Lucian—if you have any feelings for him at all—that’s exactly what you’re going to do.”
“Why in the Frozen Hells would I do that?” I demanded. “Why should I give you the satisfaction of letting your son go just so you can keep your social status?”
“It’s not just about social status—although that is part of it,” she said, all wide-eyed sincerity now. “Lucian is the sole heir to the Chiefdom of the Fang Clan. But there’s simply no way his fathers can pass the mantle of leadership on to him if he’s psy-bonded to a mortal enemy of our clan, not to mention another Alpha. I’m sure you can see how impossible that would be.”
I felt my stomach turn but I kept my face blank.
“Lucian doesn’t want any of that. He told Rylee and me he’d rather be with us.”
“I’m sure he did—he’s been very lonely, as you said, for many years.” She made a sad little face. “Now, I’ll admit that part of that was my fault. I’ve been…very picky about who Lucian associates with.”
“I know you have.” I gave her a fierce, unhappy grin. “You must have just about shit a brick when you found out he was mated to a nobody of the Claw Clan and an off-worlder female.”
She sniffed. “I will admit that when Lucian finally chose to rebel he certainly went about it whole-heartedly.” She lifted her chin. “But that’s all right—we can fix it.”
“You know, he’s a grown male with a life and a business of his own. Did it ever occur to you that it’s time to butt out of his life?”
“No,” she said blandly. “But I am hoping that very notion will occur to you. Think about it, Drace—he’s happy now. He finally has the bond-mate he’s wanted all his life.”
“The one you denied him, you mean,” I growled. “Hylorn wasn’t good enough for him before but suddenly, the minute Rylee and I come into the picture, he’s just perfect.”
“I wouldn’t say ‘perfect’ exactly, but he’s certainly a much better choice than you.” she cocked her head to one side. “I had you checked out you know, Drace. You have no status in your own clan—you’re a nobody. A loner. Even your own family thinks you’re strange. You’re—”
“All right,” I snarled, cutting her off. “You’ve made your fucking point.”
“I believe I did.” She nodded, unperturbed by my anger. “Lucian has a bright future ahead of him, Drace. He and Hylorn can be psy-bonded and then find just the right female to complete their Triumvirate.”
“And I just bet you’ve got ‘just the right female’ all picked out, don’t you?” I growled.
“And if I do?” She shrugged, as if it didn’t matter, her dress rustling again. “The point is, you and Lucian don’t work. It might be a salvageable situation if you weren’t a
nother Alpha but as things stand, you’ll only be an impediment to my son. You’ll drag him down with your poor Clan status, your abysmal manners, the fact that you’re not the proper Beta he deserves…”
“He told me he didn’t want a Beta,” I snapped.
“Well…I think we both know that isn’t true, now don’t we?” Lucian’s mother gave me a small, cold smile. “Or he wouldn’t have heart-pledged to Hylorn.”
“You—” I started but she talked right over me.
“Lucian will never inherit the leadership of his Clan or rise to the heights he should with you and your little off-worlder female dragging him down.” She put a hand on my arm and looked up at me earnestly. “Think about it, Drace. If you love him, you need to let him go.”
I would have told her to fuck off, that her interference wasn’t needed or wanted. I would have said that Lucian and Rylee and I were happy together—that none of us wanted or needed anyone else.
I would have said all those things if I didn’t remember Lucian telling us that Hylorn was practically the love of his fucking life before his mother separated them. And if I hadn’t seen his hand over the other male’s heart.
“Fine,” I said, looking down at the metal floor of the ship. “I’ll let him go.”
It felt like tearing a piece of my heart out to speak those words, but I knew it was for the best. She was right—I would only drag Lucian down. Being mated to another Alpha and an off-worlder like Rylee would ruin his perfect, golden life. I thought dully that maybe Rylee and I could stick together and find a Beta somewhere. But the idea of sharing her with anyone but Lucian just seemed wrong somehow. No, it was probably better that we all go our separate ways, even if it meant parting from the two people I loved most in the universe.
“Fine,” I said again.
“Oh, good.” Lucian’s mother looked vastly relieved. “I’m so glad you’ve come to your senses. Now if you’d just—”
“Look, I admitted I’m garbage that would just drag your son down,” I growled at her. “And I promised to let him go. Now I have nothing else to say to you so would you please just get the fuck out of here and leave me alone?”
“Very well.” She nodded stiffly. “I’ll go tell my son he and Hylorn can start planning their bond-mate ceremony. Oh, Lucian will be so happy.”
“I’m sure he will,” I muttered. “After all, he’s finally getting the mate he always wanted—the one you denied him for so many years, you bitch.”
“There’s no need to be nasty,” she snapped, frowning. “I did you a favor, Drace—believe me. How long do you think a relationship with two Alphas would last, after all? The only reason the two of you were able to be together at all was because that little off-worlder you found is a Binder.”
“How did you know about—?”
“Rylee? Lucian told me about her—imagine how surprised I was when his claims about her actually checked out!" She smiled triumphantly. "I told you, I’m very picky about the people Lucian associates with. You and that off-worlder La-ti-zal aren’t right for him at all. And if it hadn’t been for her, the two of you would never have even gotten it into your heads to stay together.”
I wondered if she was right. If Rylee was the only reason Lucian and I had thought we could make a go of it. Probably so—we both loved Rylee to distraction. Picturing her sweet face and big eyes when I broke the news that Lucian and I would be using the Claw after all, I nearly wavered.
But then I remembered Lucian’s hand over Hylorn’s heart. The way I’d heard Hylorn pledge his undying love and loyalty. And I knew I had to let Lucian go—even if it was like ripping my heart out, I had to do it.
There was no other way.
Chapter Thirty
Rylee
“Here you are! Lucian and I have been looking all over for you!”
I was so relieved to see Drace standing there in Lucian’s ship that I ran to throw my arms around him—but he didn’t hug me back. He stood as rigid as a statue, not returning my embrace. When I looked up at him, I saw him glaring daggers at Lucian over my head.
Lucian glared back but there was something besides anger in his face. I sensed shame as well—a low level guilt that flowed like poison through our bond.
“What?” I said, looking back and forth between them. “What’s going on with you two? What’s wrong?”
“I want to use the Claw,” Drace said abruptly. “We need to be separated. Our bond needs to be severed.”
“What?” I looked at him in disbelief. “Drace, you can’t be serious? What’s all this about?”
“It’s about something he saw,” Lucian said stiffly. “But it was a mistake—a misunderstanding.”
“I don’t think there was any mistaking that fucking pledge I saw you in with Hylorn,” Drace growled. “You were all over each other.”
“No!” Lucian protested. “He was all over me. I—”
“Save your fucking excuses,” Drace snapped. “It never would have worked between us anyway. I’m doing you a favor, Lucian—letting you run back to the one you really want.”
“I don’t want anyone but you and Rylee,” Lucian protested. “I swear it, bond-mate!”
“Don’t call me that. Not anymore.” Drace took a deep breath and looked the other man straight in the eye. “I disavow you, Lucian,” he said in a slow, even voice. “I want nothing more to do with you.”
Lucian made a low sound in his throat, something like a cross between a gasp and a groan, and staggered back, as though Drace had punched him in the gut.
I got a sick feeling in my stomach. A feeling that something bad had just happened. No—not just bad—horrible. Something that couldn’t be taken back.
“What happened? What does that mean?” I demanded. “Will the two of you please talk to me?”
“Drace has expressed his need to be free of me in the strongest terms possible,” Lucian said stiffly, finally regaining his composure. “To disavow a bond-mate is to ask for a complete and permanent separation.”
“What?” I looked back and forth between them wildly. “What is going on? What caused this?”
“Drace walked in on Hylorn heart-pledging to me.” Lucian looked down at his hands. “He…I didn’t know how to get free of him. I cared for him for so long and—”
“And now you can finally fucking have him!” Drace snapped.
“Wait a minute—I’m sure this was all just a big misunderstanding,” I said urgently, looking from Drace’s stony face to Lucian’s guilty one. “I’m sure we can talk this out. We shouldn’t make any rash decisions before we sleep on it, at least.”
“No, I don’t want to wait another second,” Drace snarled. “Tonight—we must be severed tonight!”
He lifted his hand and I saw that he’d been holding the long-handled, golden Claw down by the side of his leg where it hadn’t been visible before. The ship’s overhead lights caught on its four sharp talons and they glittered wickedly.
“Very well,” Lucian said coldly. “If that is the way you want it.”
“It is,” Drace assured him.
It was my turn to gasp. Seeing the Claw in Drace’s hand seemed to bring everything home to me—this wasn’t just a quarrel between the two of them. Drace was actually asking for a divorce—or what passed for divorce here on Denaris. And Lucian was willing to give it to him.
“Wait a minute!” I shouted, glaring at both of them. “Don’t I get any say in this matter? I’m part of this relationship too!”
Drace’s face softened for a moment, the granite melting.
“Baby, you’re the heart of our relationship,” he said, sounding sad. “And I’m so, so fucking sorry to do this to you. But it’s time you and I let Lucian go.”
“Let him go? Just because you caught him hugging someone else for half a minute?” I shouted.
“It wasn’t a simple embrace,” Drace growled. “They were heart-pledging.”
“I never—” Lucian began but Drace cut him off.
 
; “Save it. I know how you feel about Hylorn—well you can fucking well have him!”
“Are you crazy, Drace?” I demanded. "You love Lucian! We both do!”
“Not anymore.” Drace’s face went hard and dark again. “Now I only want to be free of him.”
“Fine,” Lucian said tightly. He opened the fancy jacket his mother had made him wear to the dinner party and started unfastening his shirt. “I wish to be free of you as well. Do you wish to use the Claw first or should I?”
“I will.” Drace was opening his shirt and jacket as well.
I felt sick. They were really going to do this. Right in front of me they were going to sever their bond and pull us all apart. How could this be happening? And how could it happen so fast?
“I don’t believe this,” I said blankly. “Just last night we were promising to love each other and stay together forever. I was willing to leave Earth—to leave my home planet and never go back again—all because I loved you both so much and I thought you loved me.”
“We do love you, ma 'frela.” Lucian spoke softly. “I am sorry beyond measure that you are hurt by the conflict between us. I cannot—”
He stopped talking, his eyes wide. Drace had taken the golden Claw and placed it on his chest, right over his heart.
“Drace, n—” I started to say, but before I could get the words out, he was dragging the four sharp points down his muscular left pec, leaving four bloody parallel lines in his dusky blue skin.
“Ahh!” As the blood began to flow, crimson over blue skin, I felt part of our bond crumble to dust. It hurt so much it was like someone carving off a piece of my heart. I put a hand to my own chest as Drace passed Lucian the Claw without comment. “Please!” I gasped out in a choked voice.
It was no use. Lucian was already dragging the awful instrument of separation, its wicked points still bloody from Drace’s wound, down his own left chest.