"Shit you mean you're a werewolf?" I said backing up unconsciously, as soon as I moved back his face fell.
"No, not really, shape shifters are different, I was born like this I wasn't turned into this, I can only change when it's a full moon or if I am in danger, I don't hurt people or anything" he said looking at me intently. "Shifters are actually very compassionate and caring, its in our natures, I would never hurt you, you don't need to be afraid of me" he said looking down at his hands. He looked so sad, I needed to cheer him up, he thought I was afraid of him!
I climbed over to him and sat myself on his lap wrapping my arms around his neck. I don't care if he's a shape shifter or a flipping alien, I love him. "I love wolves" I said kissing his neck. He laughed loudly, "I know, I remember" he said putting his arms around my waist pulling me tighter against him.
"Sean how the hell did you survive that car?" I asked him pulling back to look at his face,
"Honestly? I don't know, when we shift we heal really fast, I can mend a broken arm in like and hour in wolf form, but it doesn't work when I'm like this, so I don't know what happened, the car broke a lot of my bones, my arm, and both of my legs, ribs and I am pretty sure I cracked my skull"
he said and I winced. He gave me a small smile, "I shouldn't have been able to heal myself without shifting but even as a wolf it would have taken me days to recover, if I could at all, but I healed in less than a minute, I've spoken to my dad about it but he's never heard of anyone of us being able to heal in natural form" he shrugged shaking his head.
"You scared the shit out of me you know, I thought you'd died" I said burying my face in his neck,
"I know, I'm sorry, you know what hurt me the most?" he asked stroking my face. I shook my head,
"Your face, you looked so upset and sad that it broke my heart in two, please don't ever look like that again I don't think I could stand it" he said sadly.
"I know that I'm suffocating you, I promise I'll give you your space, you just need to tell me what you want or what I'm doing wrong, please give me another chance" he begged giving me his adorable puppy dog face. "Sean, I didn't mean what I said, I don't need space from you" I said looking down ashamed, "What do you mean? Tyler? Talk to me" he whispered. "Sean I love you, I do, I knew I was falling for you, but I didn't realise how much I loved you already until you were hit by that car" I said wincing at the memory. "When I saw you, laying so still I honestly thought you were dead, my world collapsed, it hurt so bad that I thought the pain would kill me, I wanted it to kill me" I whispered, he clutched me tighter breathing harder.
"But there are things about me that you don't know, that I don't want you to ever know" I said starting to cry. "Tyler, you don't have to tell me these things if you don't want to, but I want you to know that you can trust me, don't get me wrong I want to know everything about you, but if it is something you can't talk about I understand, I promise" he said.
"Sean it's not that simple, I want to be with you, but I can't, you deserve better than me, I can't stay here with you, sooner or later something in my past will mean that I have to leave this place, leave you, I can't bond with you, if we were to bond, you'd never get over me when I leave and I can't bear the thought of you being alone" I said quietly sobbing onto his shoulder.
"Something in your past will mean that you have to leave? That's why you moved around so much already?" he asked quietly, I nodded. He stiffened "I can protect you Tyler you don't need to worry about anything, or I could come with you" he said trying to pull me back to look at him, but I couldn't, I couldn't see the pain I was causing him.
"Talk to me" he pleaded, "Please, I need to understand why we can't be together, if it was because of what I am I could accept that, but I don't think you know how much I love you already, I don't need to bond with you to love you, I would already do anything for you, die for you, there is no way I can walk away from you now anyway, I will NEVER want anyone else" he said rubbing my back soothing me. I debated telling him, he deserved to know, I trusted him, I wanted him so bad I thought I would burst, I knew I owed him an explanation. I opened my mouth to tell him when the door burst open.
"Tyler, Seaneeee your up!" Rachel said running and jumping on the bed, I laughed and wiped my face moving off of Sean's lap as Rachel threw her arms around my neck. "Hey kiddo, Tyler and I have things to talk about so why don't you go down and help mom downstairs ok?" Sean said smiling pushing her off the bed gently. I jumped up off the bed grabbed Rachel's hand, "Come on Rach lets go make something to eat I'm starving" I said shooting Sean a glance to see a hurt expression on his face. "Sean and I will talk later" I said smiling at him, this seemed to satisfy him as he smiled back and jumped out of the bed scooping Rachel up and spinning her around until she screamed.
After we'd dressed and eaten Sean took me for a walk in the park, we hadn't spoken much since the bedroom. "So, are you gonna show me how you change?" I said sitting on the swings, he laughed and started to push me gently from behind. "Its not called changing its called shifting, and I will if you want me to but I can't at the moment, I can only do it when there's a full moon and that's not for another week or I can shift if I am in trouble, once we've bonded" he stopped and took a deep breath. "Sorry, I meant IF we bonded, I'd be able to shift if you were in trouble too" he said pushing me higher.
When the swing was at its highest I jumped off laughing, as I landed Sean caught me before I touched the ground. "How the hell did you do that?" I said breathless looking back to where he was standing a second or two ago. "I can run pretty fast" he laughed, "How fast?" I asked narrowing my eyes, "Faster than you" he said teasingly.
I took off running at full speed, after about 20 seconds I looked back over my shoulder to see him still standing there watching me grinning. I turned back around and carried on running, the next thing I knew he had tackled me from behind sending us sprawling to the ground, he wrapped his arms around me protectively so that he took all of the impact and I fell on top of him.
He was laughing and looked so happy I kissed him full on the lips with as much passion as I could manage. The desire that shot through me was so strong that I cried out, he put his hands in my hair deepening the kiss licking my lip, I opened my mouth and he instantly slipped his tongue in a small moan escaping from the back of his throat. He rolled so that I was under him, I ran my hands down his back and squeezed his ass. Suddenly he pushed himself off of me and stood up, "Don't do that Tyler, please!" he cried grabbing his hair with both hands taking deep breaths. I stayed on the floor breathing heavy, "I'm sorry" I said and I meant it, I knew that that was hard for him to pull away like that, he sighed and laid down next to me taking my hand.
After a few minutes of silence he spoke, "You know when a shifter is 16 they have their mark analysed, want to know what they said about our mark?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbow and touching my mark with one finger tracing the shape. "Oh. My. God! Hell yeah I do!" I shouted excited, he chuckled. "Ok! Well the heart" he said tracing the shape on my chest with his finger tip, "That means love, we would have a lot of love in our bond, the fact that the heart is black in colour, completely black, well, the darker your mark the more powerful it is, most people only have a little black on theirs, when I had my mark analysed they were surprised at how dark it was, it means the bond would be very, very powerful" he said smiling.
When he didn't speak again I asked "What about the chains part, what does that mean?" he smiled again "I don't know" he said shrugging. "What, you've forgotten what they said?" I asked confused, he shook his head "No I didn't forget, they didn't know what the chains meant, no one has ever had chains like ours before, they checked all through the records that they had but they couldn't find anything at all, they were quite excited about it actually" he said bending his head to kiss my mark.
"What do you mean records? Do they hold records from the last few years or something?" I said confused, "Few years? They hold details of marks and images and symbolism from every shifter for
the last thousand years" he said laughing as my mouth dropped open in shock. After a couple of minutes silence I had composed myself enough to talk, "Tell me something else" I said turning onto my side facing him. "Like what?" he asked holding my hand, "Anything, I just like the sound of your voice" I said laughing.
"Ok, well umm.... Ok I got something, when shifters bond they get two new marks" he said simply.
"WHAT?" I said so loud I even made myself jump, he laughed, "Sorry" I said laughing along with him. "When the bond is made two more marks are generated, one on the inside of each wrist, it'll be like the original but smaller and just a part of it, like my mom and dads mark is the outline of a rose with little black leaves, so they each have the outline of a small leaf on the inside of their wrists" he said touching the spot on the inside where all the veins were. "You get them here because, these veins are arteries so therefore they are closely connected to the heart and the marks are to do with love, that's why the main mark is placed directly over the heart" he said kissing the inside of my wrists.
He pushed himself up holding his hand out to me "Come on beautiful girl, we'd better get back, my mom will be going crazy if she doesn't get to pump us with food soon" he said laughing and pulling me to my feet. "Hey Sean, thank you for telling me all this, I know it must be boring for you to go over all this stuff that you already know, so if I get on your nerves you can just tell me ok" I said taking his hand as we walked back to his house. "You will never get on my nerves" he said kissing my hand.
Chapter 9: Time to meet the wolf
After dinner Sean and I sat around watching TV, flicking through channels cuddling on the sofa.
Kate and Jack were going to a party to do with Jacks works and they were staying at some hotel so that they could both have a drink. Sean had laughed his ass of at this and said that this was just an excuse as shifters can't get drunk. He said that they probably wanted some 'private time'! So anyways, they had arranged for Rachel to stay at her friends, Dan was also out, going to some party then crashing at Chase's, so we had the house to ourselves.
I decided that although there would never be a 'good' time to tell Sean the truth that this was a good opportunity to do it alone. Taking the TV remote off of the coffee table I turned the TV off. "Fed up with that? Want to watch a DVD or something?" he said smiling, I don't know what my face looked like but sadness crossed his face as he pulled me to him. "What's wrong Tyler?" he whispered in my ear. I pushed him away from me and sat back so there was quite a bit of space in-between us. He frowned looking confused "Did I do something wrong?" he asked quietly.
"Sean, if I'm going to get through this you need to be quiet, please don't interrupt me or anything ok?" I said looking into his eyes, he nodded slowly. I looked down at the floor and took a couple of deep breaths before starting. "Ok well, my dad had a car accident when I was 7 and he died, my mom totally lost it, she started drinking, and eventually she started to do drugs, when I was 8 she met some guy and fell in love with him, his name was" I swallowed my sob that was trying to force it's way free. "His name was Peter Symons, he seemed like a nice guy at first, used to buy me things and take me places" I stopped to take a couple of shaky breaths.
"They got married and things were great, my mom straightened out and got a job working weekends at the local shop, after about a year or so things changed, he started" I gagged and put my hand up to cover my mouth. I couldn't look at Sean but I could see his fists were tight, knuckles white and they were shaking lightly. "He started touching me when my mom was at work, I was young I didn't think much of it at first, but then it started to get worse so I spoke to my mom about it, she didn't believe me, she told me I was trying to ruin her life that she had, when I was 11 he raped me" I said stopping as Sean drew in a sharp breath through his teeth his whole body was shaking now.
He had his eyes squeezed shut and jaw clenched tight. He looked like he was in pain. I needed to get this out so I continued trying to swallow but failing as my mouth had gone dry, "After that it happened almost every weekend when my mom would work, he said I was his 'special girl' and that he loved me, and that I would always be his and if I tried to leave him, he would kill me and my mom and whoever I ran to, so I never said anything to anyone else, when I was 14 he got me pregnant" I said trying not to cry about it. While I was talking I watched Sean from the corner of my eye I saw he was shaking so hard he was a blur, I could feel the vibrations through the sofa, when I said the last part he suddenly exploded, literally exploded.
He jumped up and it looked like a bomb went off inside him, then I saw a big wolf in his place, it let out a growl and I swear it was the most terrifying sound I had ever heard in my life. I threw myself back, screaming falling off the edge of the couch, I scooted backwards on my bum crying and slammed into the wall of the living room. The wolf was watching me intently not moving.
I froze against the wall panting, slowly the wolf took a step towards me and I screamed again before slapping a hand over my mouth trying to stifle the sound. It carried on walking towards me slowly and I started to whimper. I had never been so scared in my life, the wolf was a chocolate brown colour and this thing was huge! If I was standing It would have probably came up to my chest,
"Please don't hurt me" I whispered through my hand, pressing backwards trying to melt even further into the wall.
The wolf sat in front of me and lowered it's head level with mine its nose inches away from my face, I turned my head to the side and squeezed my eyes shut knowing I was about to die. It brought its nose to me and nudged me gently on the side on the neck, I whimpered again. The wolf laid down in front of me and put it's head in my lap and didn't move.
I stayed like that for probably a full 5 minutes before I realised that if it was going to eat me it would have done it already. I slowly turned my head down to look at it, noticing my movement it looked up at me, that's when I noticed its bright blue eyes. I gasped jumping back again banging my head on the wall wincing as my head throbbed a little, the wolf whimpered slightly.
"S....S...Sean?" I stuttered in barely a whisper but he heard me and nudged his nose on my arm.
"Sean, you wont hurt me when your like this will you?" I whispered taking a shaky breath, he just nudged my arm again putting his head back in my lap. I just sat there looking at him, he really was huge it was like a man sized wolf, stupid Tyler of course it's a man size, it's a man for goodness sake I scalded myself, he just laid there not moving probably trying not to scare me.
"Can I touch you?" I asked quietly, he didn't move so I reached out my hand slowly, I noticed my fingers were shaking but I didn't stop, I gently put my hand on the top of his head. His fur was so soft, it actually felt like Sean, like touching Sean's hair. He let out a little whimper and I pulled my hand back quickly, he just raised his head and rubbed his head on my forearm, I took that as a queue to continue so I put my hand back down and started gently stroking his head, he let out the same whimpering sound, but this time I smiled. "You like that" I said chuckling, making long strokes from the top of his head down to his shoulder blades, he whimpered again.
It was actually quite relaxing, looking up I notice that it's not a full moon, "Sean, it's not a full moon I thought you said that it had to be or you had to be in trouble to be able to change, um I mean shift"
I said confused. He just looked in my eyes again as if trying to tell me the answer. I shook my head.
"Can you change back so I can finish talking to you?" I asked quietly, he sat up and nudged my face with his nose. "Your nose is cold by the way" I said laughing and touching his nose with my finger tip, he nudged me again and then got up and walked to the couch, standing in front of it looking at me.
"You want me to come back over there?" I said getting up, wow I didn't realise how long I was sat on the floor but my ass was numb and I had pins and needles in my legs. Rubbing my ass I went over to the couch, as I walked past him he nudged me in the ass with his nose again and I laughed sitting down "I can't believe I j
ust got felt up by a wolf" I said blushing. He came over to me and sat down beside my legs putting his head back on my lap, I absentmindedly started stroking his head again.
"You can't change back can you?" I said looking into his eyes, he didn't move. "Do you want me to tell you the rest of it?" I asked him, he nudged my hand, I assumed that this was a yes so I took a deep breath and closed my eye's. "So when I was 14, I got pregnant and he took me in secret to get an abortion, while I was there he got me on contraception so it wouldn't happen again, he told the doctors that I had a serious boyfriend, played the concerned stepfather, I had a little implant see" I said raising my arm pointing to a tiny scar I had on the inside of my arm near my armpit.
"A little after that he got in trouble with some drug dealer people, they started hounding him for money, when he couldn't pay he offered them me" at that Sean let out a loud growl, I stroked his head and waited until he stopped before continuing. "They weren't like him, they used to hurt me, do terrible things that I can't even think about let alone talk about, I'm sorry" I said wincing, this had him growling again. This time I just closed my eyes letting him get it out of his system I tried not to think of all the memories that were trying to flood back, after a minute he nudged me with his nose and I started speaking again
"When I was 15 my mom came home sick from work one day and walked in my room and saw, at first she thought I was trying to steal him away from her, she still didn't believe me, but she asked him about it and he told her the truth, he told her he loved me and that it had been going on for years" I shuddered at the memory.
"That night when he was asleep she came into my room and told me we were leaving and to get dressed, she told me I couldn't bring anything, but I couldn't leave without a photo of my dad, as I picked up the frame I knocked a book of my shelf making a bang, the next thing I know he was there. He punched my mom so hard and told her that she could leave but I couldn't, he said he would kill me before he gave me up, then he slammed my head against the wall and I blacked out so I don't know much after that" I wiped my face.