If I’d known his sloppy, wet kiss was the reward, I wasn’t certain I would have tried so hard to reach the top. I didn’t know what to say.
Everyone’s attention suddenly turned away from me as Cameron moved up to be harnessed, and people wanted to offer him encouragement. I sank down to the ground.
Ryan crouched in front of me. “Thought I was going to have to call in a medical team to have that guy surgically removed.”
I couldn’t stop myself from grinning. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“Is he your new boyfriend?”
“No. Actually, until a minute ago, I thought he was all about Brooke.”
“You know these guys are all players. They’re going to say and do anything to get you into bed.”
“I can handle it.”
“If you say so.”
It irritated me that he doubted me. I knew these guys were players. I was one as well.
“Ryan, you’re not responsible for me.”
“Look, I’m on this cruise because of you. So I feel some responsibility.”
“Well, don’t. It was nice of Walter to want to make sure I have my own personal buddy, but it was totally unnecessary. I can take care of myself. And you’re free to do”—I waved my hand—” whatever.”
“I appreciate that.”
I struggled back to my feet. “I need to get back to the guys.”
“We’re still on for tonight, right?” he asked.
“Yeah. I’ll see you at eight.”
I’d climbed to the top, and all he’d noticed was Shooter kissing me. I couldn’t have been more disappointed.
“Hey, Lindsay?”
I looked back at him.
He grinned and gave me a thumbs up. “That was a hell of a climb.”
CHAPTER 17
Tonight isn’t a date.
I told myself that over and over as I changed from one outfit to another, unable to decide on exactly what I should wear to a show that wasn’t a movie or a high-school play. It was a show like I saw advertised on TV in Vegas, or on Broadway, or any number of other stage productions. It was so not a date.
Walter had purchased the tickets, was trying to be nice, was trying to make sure that everyone had a good time. Since he saw me as his daughter now, and he’d brought Ryan along on the cruise, he thought hooking us up was the way to go. So tonight we’d be hooked.
I’d really planned to be totally casual after the wedding, to relax completely for the remainder of the cruise. But here I was dabbing on lip gloss, mascara, and eye shadow. I repainted my fingernails. I even applied a hot iron to my hair, making it straight and sleek, and oh-so-not casual.
I couldn’t believe all the trouble I was going to, or how tightly knotted my stomach was. I almost felt as though I was back on that stupid rock climbing wall reaching for that last hold that would allow me to see everything that surrounded me.
Only I felt as though I wasn’t seeing anything. It was so difficult not being with anyone I shared a past with. I liked Brooke. She was fun, and she certainly did believe in bringing the party with her. I had a feeling she was one of those people who didn’t like to be alone. Not for even a second.
Which was cool. I didn’t have a problem with that attitude. But I hadn’t been too pleased with Shooter snatching an unexpected kiss. I had a feeling that Brooke would have been okay with it. The guys were probably thinking Brooke and I were like two peas in a pod when we were really more like an apple and an orange. Not much in common except for the fact that we were both girls.
But that too was all right, I supposed. Although I was now wishing that I hadn’t asked Ryan to get Brooke a ticket. A little time away from the constant party atmosphere might have been nice.
On the other hand I did want to make the very most of this cruise, and being off by myself limited the opportunities.
The knock on my door had me taking a deep breath and a final glance in the mirror. I was wearing a slinky, sparkly pink dress that I’d picked up cheaply, thinking that I’d probably never wear it, but that it would be nice to have, just in case.
And here I was wearing it with sandals. I hoped I didn’t give the appearance of having dressed up for a date. Because this is so not a date, I repeated to myself for about the hundredth time.
I crossed the room, opened the door, and, after seeing him, wondered if Ryan thought maybe this was a date. He looked terrific. He was wearing a light blue button up shirt, and slacks.
“I hadn’t planned to get this dressed up while on the cruise,” he began, then shrugged. “But I figured for a show…”
His eye-rolling made me laugh. “Same here,” I admitted.
“I think there’s some sort of dress code,” he said.
“I figured. We didn’t have as many dress codes in high school as this cruise has.” Some of the dining rooms required fancy clothes—men in dinner jackets, ladies in dresses. Needless to say I planned to avoid them.
“Yeah, it’s kinda strange to be on vacation, and have to dress up. Are you ready?”
I tugged on the small purse hanging off my shoulder. “Have key, will travel.”
He laughed at that. He had a really nice laugh. A deep timbre that echoed along the hallway.
“We’ll be at Ocho Rios tomorrow,” I said, like maybe he didn’t know where we were going.
“What are you going to do?”
“Hike. Climb a waterfall.”
We got on the elevator, and he pressed the button for the deck we needed.
“Figure I’ll be doing the same. That, and shopping.”
“I could use another toe ring,” he said with a grin.
I patted his arm. “We’ll see. You could always go with us.”
That invitation had come out before I thought about it. I held my breath, not sure if I wanted him there or not. But he shook his head.
“I’m not much into crowds.”
“I’m not sure how crowded it’ll be.”
“I was talking about in general. I was referring to the increasing entourage that seems to follow wherever you and Brooke go.”
“They’re all nice guys.”
“If you say so.”
The elevator stopped and we stepped off. I really didn’t want to talk about Brooke, or the guys, or how much I was missing my friends and would gladly swap everyone I’d met here for just one friend I’d known forever.
We walked along the corridor, heading for the Starlight Lounge, where the show was being held.
“Look, I’m sorry for ragging on your friends,” Ryan said.
I glanced over at him. “They’re not really my friends. They’re just people to have fun with. Friends take awhile to make.”
As we neared, I could see there was already quite a crowd of people waiting to get in.
“There you two are!”
I turned in the direction of the familiar voice, and there was Brooke in a tight little outfit that dipped a little too low at the neckline, revealing the fact she had a lot more to offer than I did. She’d colored the tips of her dark, spiked hair blue.
“I’ve been waiting forever,” she said. She sidled up between us so that she was in the middle.
“What do you know about the show?” she asked.
“Glittery and sexy,” Ryan offered.
“I’ll be the judge of how sexy it is,” she said.
Our seats weren’t reserved, but we managed to get close to the front of the stage. Each row was a long bench, and every so often a round table was situated so people would have a place to put their drinks.
Even with the jostling around and finding a place to sit, Brooke never relinquished her claim on being between us.
Which I told myself was just fine. Ryan was a surrogate Walter, and I really didn’t need or want that. So if Brooke wanted to sit between us, that was okay with me.
And Ryan certainly didn’t seem to mind. As a matter of fact, he seemed to be warming up to Brooke quite a bit. They were laughing and talking as though I
wasn’t even there.
I was the one who’d thought to include Brooke, and here I was feeling like a third wheel on a bicycle. Or an unreachable handhold on a climbing wall.
I’d noticed before what a touchy-feely kind of person Brooke was, but it had never really bothered me until tonight. She was constantly touching Ryan’s arm, his shoulder, his hand—like they were both an item.
I really shouldn’t have cared, but I did. I’d invited her, and she was completely ignoring me so that she could flirt with Ryan.
If not for me, she wouldn’t be rubbing her shoulder up against his. And of all the guys she’d introduced me to, and had gathered around us, the hottest guy I’d met so far was the one I’d first met: Ryan.
I thought it was a little ironic. If only he wasn’t connected to Walter, maybe there could have been something between us.
Wishful thinking on my part. Sure, our paths kept crossing. He was fun to dance with. He had great wall climbing skills. And way too much advice to offer. But other than that one amazing kiss, he’d shown no real interest in me. I felt like I was about as exciting and attractive as an iguana.
Yet here he was laughing at everything Brooke said like she was a female Jerry Seinfeld.
Thank goodness the lights dimmed and the curtains were drawn back so I had something to focus on rather than the show going on beside me.
I felt rather than saw Brooke move nearer to me.
“Ryan is so hot,” she whispered loudly, as music suddenly blasted through the theater. “I’ve convinced him to hang around with us tomorrow at Ocho Rios.”
I looked over at her. “Really?”
She nodded enthusiastically and wiggled her eyebrows. “The more, the merrier.”
Totally bummed I turned my attention back to the stage. Hadn’t I invited Ryan first? Hadn’t he said no, and offered a lame excuse about not wanting to be in a crowd?
Hadn’t he warned me that Brooke was trouble?
And here he was accepting her invitation to spend time together at Ocho Rios—after declining mine?
Jerk. As soon as I thought it, I took it back. He wasn’t a jerk. I’d told him from the beginning that I didn’t want him hanging around and looking after me. So maybe he’d declined my invitation because he hadn’t thought it was sincere. I was so confused where Ryan was concerned.
I tried to concentrate on the show. The fantastic costumes. The sparkles, the glitter, and the absolute breathtaking display of talent. The dancing, singing, and performances were unlike anything I’d ever seen.
It was one of those experiences that at any other time in my life I would have truly enjoyed, but I was having a little private pity party. Because I couldn’t figure out what I really wanted with Ryan. If I was honest with myself, part of me wanted to spend time with him, but then another part of me wanted to complete all the items on my list—including losing my virginity.
Besides, I couldn’t get over the feeling that Ryan saw me as nothing more than a friend, someone Walter had asked him to watch over, and so from time to time he felt as though he needed to touch base with me.
A waitress in a sequined costume, which left very little to the imagination, came to take our drink orders. Nudging Ryan a little, Brooke ordered a Sex on the Beach. I didn’t even know if she knew what the drink was. I think she just wanted to be clever with her order, and to toss a hint Ryan’s way. Maybe be a little sophisticated. I just thought she was being a little pathetic. I was getting seriously irritated with her constant flirtation.
I asked for a piña colada. Ryan wanted a beer.
After my experience of drinking champagne around Ryan, I decided to limit myself to one drink, and before it arrived, I checked to make sure that I was still holding onto my purse. I didn’t want to go through the embarrassment of losing track of it again.
Once the drinks arrived, I glanced over at my table partners. Brooke was leaning against Ryan and talking. I sipped my drink, and concentrated on the show before me.
Time seemed to drag by. The music was lively and fun, but anytime there was a lull in sound, I would hear Brooke talking to Ryan or giggling with him.
Ryan and I had talked, but it had never been with the enthusiasm that he was now exhibiting with Brooke. It was like they were soul mates or something. I wanted to reach around, tap them both on the shoulder, and say, “Remember me?”
You’d think they were on a date or something.
When the final number came to a close, I was a bit sorry to see it end because it was spectacular. But I was also glad that I’d have the opportunity to get away from flirtatious Brooke. I really couldn’t explain why it bothered me so much to see her flirting with Ryan. I was already so used to seeing her flirt with all the other guys that I would have thought it wouldn’t have bothered me to see her with Ryan.
But it did.
To my relief we parted ways once we got outside the theater.
“See you guys tomorrow,” Brooke announced.
Then she patted Ryan’s shoulder, and gave him a wink before she turned on her heel and bounced away.
Ryan was incredibly quiet as we strolled to the elevator. He seemed to have a lot on his mind as we rode to our deck, and I couldn’t quite think of anything to say. How could I compete with bubbly Brooke when I felt like fizzled-out champagne.
The elevator came to a stop and we got off.
“Does your friend ever stop talking?” Ryan finally asked.
I glanced over at him.
“You didn’t seem to mind her talking with you. She said you agreed to go hiking with us tomorrow.”
“It was more like being in shock at the unexpected silence when she asked, and not replying fast enough before she filled in the answer for me.”
“So you don’t want to go with us?”
“I wouldn’t say that. I’m okay with the idea. I wasn’t too keen on trudging up the waterfalls by myself, so her invitation to join you works for me.”
Only it hadn’t worked when I’d invited him. That really irked me. I reached into my purse for my key.
“Want to catch a bite to eat and a movie?”
I paused, and then very slowly lifted my gaze to Ryan. “What?”
“I know it sounds odd, but I’m craving something familiar. The show was great, the dancers were fantastic, but it’s not really my thing. Right now, I’m craving a burger and a movie. There’s a multiplex theater onboard and midnight showings. I don’t care what we go see. I’ll even sit through a chick flick.”
It was crazy. To be having what was supposed to be the greatest vacation of my entire life, and to spend even a minute of it at a movie theater, something I could do any time, day or night, when I was home. Heck! I worked in a movie theater!
Why would I want to go to one when I was on vacation? Because I realized that it would give me a little time with Ryan without anyone else around. And although I thought any type of involvement with him might mean disaster down the road, tonight I wanted to be with him.
Smiling, I nodded. “Yeah. I’m all over that.”
“Great. Give me five minutes to throw on some jeans—”
“I’ll need ten.”
“You got it.”
Actually it only took me about eight to get out of my dress and into jeans, a red off-the-shoulder tank, and slides. I fluffed my fingers through my hair to loosen it up a bit, applied fresh lip gloss, and was ready to go.
Ryan was waiting in the hallway when I opened the door.
We located a diner where he ordered a loaded triple and cheese while I went with a junior. I couldn’t figure out where he was going to put all that food this late at night. We shared onion rings and drank shakes.
I couldn’t believe how good it all tasted.
“This is really insane,” I said around an onion ring. “To have all these exotic restaurants and all this food I’ve never tasted before, and to be sitting here eating a burger.”
“I agree,” he said, just before he took a sip of his shake.
“But, man, is it hitting the spot.”
He took a bite of his burger, chewed for a while, dipped an onion ring into ketchup, and asked, “Is Brooke serious about any of those guys who are hanging around her?”
I looked at him. He was studying me while it appeared he was absently eating the onion ring.
“I don’t think so.” I almost added that she seemed to like to sample anything in jeans, but I was trying to be nice and not jealous.
“How ‘bout you?” he asked.
“What about me?”
“Are you serious about any of those guys?”
“Not really. I mean, like I said, they’re nice, and it’s fun to have people to do things with, and I want this to be a special vacation.”
“I’m down with that.” He finished off his burger.
When we got to the theater, I selected what I was certain was a movie that would have lots of romance and girly-girly stuff. No action, no guns blazing, no blood, no gore.
True to his word Ryan didn’t seem to mind. We made our way to the theater. It was more crowded than I expected it to be, but we managed to locate some seats about three-fourths of the way up. The lights were still on, and advertisements were flashing on the screen.
“Seems like on a cruise, you ought to be able to get away from the ads,” he said quietly beside me.
“I should warn you,” I whispered. “I don’t talk during movies. It really bothers me when people do, like they’re sitting in their own living rooms or something.”
“I hear you.”
I chuckled at that. “Wouldn’t you rather hear the movie?”
He grinned. “Yeah.”
The lights dimmed, and I settled more comfortably into my seat. Ryan was right. I was in the mood for something totally familiar, and sitting in a movie theater provided that experience. How strange that only a few days out, I was already missing home.
We watched the previews in silence. Then they gave way to the beginning of the movie. I felt Ryan moving toward me. I eased over toward him, certain he was going to whisper something about the previews or the movie, totally unprepared for what he did say.
“That first night when you said sleeping with a guy was on your list…you weren’t really talking about sleeping, were you?”