I wanted to stay in that room.
The longer I did, the more I thought Kian would come find me. I wanted that, and being in a room that was a secret between us, it was hurting me to write the letter that I did.
I left it on the desk, so he’d see it immediately. It wasn’t long. I’d thanked him for offering me the room. I’d thanked him for reassuring me on the roof, for making sure I was okay. But I had to go back to my old life, and that meant no Jordan, no Kian, and certainly no history that could harm either of us.
I had wanted to sign it as Jo, but I’d signed it with my real name. It’d been so long since I had written Jordan, and it felt right, but like Kian, I had to let that go, too. That also included seeing Snark since I wasn’t technically in the Witness Protection Program. He’d used his resources to help me get a new life. I needed to not see him again and stand firm in who Jo Keen was, not who Jordan Emory had been.
Avoiding the elevators, I left the hotel by going down the stairs. When I got to the lobby, one of the newspaper people was there. He was the guy who had given me a hard time, Bob, and he was scanning the entire lobby. I was guessing that Erica had sent him to look for me, but I didn’t want to hear any message she might’ve sent with him. Erica thought her life was going to die if I wasn’t there just because Susan would find some way to stab her in the back. It was a lie. Erica would do just fine. Their interview would do wonderfully. Erica didn’t need me to hold her hand to make that happen.
When Bob went to the restroom, I slipped through the lobby. I didn’t see an approaching bus, and I didn’t want to wait, so I grabbed a cab. Once I gave him the address, I sent Erica a quick text.
I’m okay. Panic attack. Going home to feel better.
I hit Send and then added another one.
You’ll do great! Kick interview butt!
I was a few blocks from my apartment when I got a text back. Expecting a response from Erica, I saw it was Jake instead.
You okay? Went to your job earlier. They said you were sick.
Jake.
Good Jake.
Normal Jake.
The Jake who ran away from a bunch of thirty-year-olds.
Jo’s Jake, not Jordan’s Jake.
I changed my mind and sent a quick text to him.
Where are you?
My place.
I leaned forward and told the cab driver, “I need to go somewhere else.”
After giving him the new address, I texted Jake.
I’m coming over.
I expected a text back but never got one.
When the car pulled up to the house Jake shared with a bunch of guys, I saw why. Ten cars were lined down the street, and another six were squashed in the driveway.
Jake was having a party.
Once the cab left and I headed to the front door, I had doubts. Maybe I should leave? He hadn’t texted back.
Hearing loud music and shouts from inside, I opened it and bypassed the doorbell. I doubted anyone could hear it anyway.
It’d been so long since I was at Jake’s house. He had four other roommates. I’d met two of them during our brief fling but not the others. Jake hadn’t been close to them, only the two I’d met. Stepping into the living room, I didn’t recognize anyone here. A baseball game was on the television, but only three guys were paying attention. They lounged on the couch while others in the room were talking among themselves. A group stood in one corner, and another stood in the doorway leading to the kitchen. I glimpsed a full kitchen and then stepped aside as four more guys ran down the stairs behind me and went around into the kitchen, through the kitchen, and out the back door.
This was a full party, like a real party. It wasn’t a shindig or a gathering.
I moved into the kitchen, grabbed a mini bottle of wine, and headed out to the backyard. Was Jake going to invite me to this? Was that why he’d stopped by at my job? I doubted it. I still didn’t see anyone I recognized.
I noticed Jake was in front of his garage. A basketball hoop was nailed to the top of it, and he lined up for a shot. The ball went through the net and bounced, and then it was caught by a guy and passed right back to Jake. He hadn’t texted back because he was shooting hoops.
But then I saw Tara standing on the sidelines, watching him.
I stood there, just staring.
I should leave, but he’d see my text whenever he checked his phone. He’d know that I was there—or at least that I was going to head to his house.
Seriously, what was I even doing here in the first place?
I came so I wouldn’t think about Kian, the interview, or angry Erica. That was why. I was using Jake, and remembering the last time I saw him, shame flooded me.
I needed to go. I shouldn’t be here.
Before I could though, Jake turned and spotted me. His eyes got big, and he caught the ball, freezing in position.
Another guy came up, hit the ball out of his hands, and dribbled to make a layup. He pointed at Jake. “In your face, Monroe!”
Jake wasn’t paying attention. He started for me, lifting his hand, as if to touch me. “Jo.”
Tara’s head whipped around. An instant glare formed in her eyes, and she crossed her arms over her chest. The two girls with her looked, too. They all seemed confused until she leaned over, and her lips moved. I was sure my name was uttered, and the other two adopted similar glares. All three stood as if they were facing off against me.
“Hey.” Jake raised his arms, as if to hug me. A second’s hesitation, and then he did. Stepping back, he glanced over his shoulder and then touched my arm. “Want to get a drink?”
I lifted my little wine bottle in the air.
“Ah. Uh…” He flashed me a grin, moving me back toward the house. “Want to come with me while I get a drink?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks.” He chuckled near my ear as his hand fell to my back.
Reaching over me, he pulled open the door. I ducked underneath. He moved around me again. He grabbed a case of beer, hooking it with his finger, and took my hand with his free one.
Some of his friends in the kitchen said hello, calling out to him and patting him on the arm or back as he maneuvered us through the rest of the kitchen. We headed down the basement stairs. It was the same scene below. A band was setting up in a corner with couches all around. At one end, a media station was set up. A flat screen television was mounted on the wall with the shelves filled with DVDs and video games. And the same thing happened as he led me down the hallway to a back bedroom. They all shouted hello to Jake, and he lifted his hand up, the case of beer dangling from it, in greeting back to them.
We got to his room, but the door was locked. Jake let go of my hand, felt above his doorframe, and came back down with a key. He grinned at me before he inserted it into his door. Then, we were inside, and the door was locked once again.
He tossed the key onto the nightstand by his door and gestured around the room. “My casa.”
The room consisted of a desk, a large bed, built-in bookshelves, and his own bathroom through a walk-in closet.
I perched on the desk chair. “It’s a nice room.”
“Thanks.” He stood in the middle of the room, raking a hand through his hair, as he glanced back at the door. “I don’t know what to say. I guess I’m just surprised to see you here.” He looked at the door, at me, and then back to the door. “Shit. I forgot my phone up there. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere. Promise me, you won’t go anywhere.”
I laughed. “Go get your phone.”
“I will be right back. I swear.” He hurried out but popped back into the room. “Seriously, don’t leave.”
“I won’t. Get your phone before someone goes through it.”
He groaned but disappeared in a flash.
It’d been so long since I was in his room. Back then, I would’ve been so nervous, and now…Kian was in the back of my mind. This was stupid. I was using him to help get another guy out of my head. This wasn
’t right. I was wasting Jake’s time, and I stood to go. I got as far as the stairs.
Jake came back down. “Where are you going?”
“This was a mistake, coming here. I should go. I’m sorry, Jake.”
“Wait.” He caught my arm and then glanced at the audience we were attracting. He tugged me toward his room again. “Just come and talk to me. That’s what friends do, right?”
The half-grin he gave me was meant to look appealing, but it looked sad. I didn’t know the backstory of Tara being at the party, but Jake was still interested in me. I saw it then. And my decision was reaffirmed.
“Jake, I really should go.”
“Okay, okay.” He let me go but jumped in front of me. He backpedaled as I walked forward. “How about this? If you don’t want to hang out in my room, I’ll come with you. It won’t be like you coming to find me, if you know what I mean. Think of it like me tagging along, and you’re not doing anything wrong because, hey,” he patted his chest, “it’s me following you. Not the other way around.” He tried for his most charming smile. “What do you say?”
We were at the top of the stairs and moving through the kitchen. Tara stood inside the backyard door. A pained expression was on her face.
I didn’t know what to think about that look from her. She was still in love with him. I got that. They dated since their high school years, so I really did get the history, but there had been a note of desperation in Jake’s voice.
I wondered if he was doing the same thing with me that I was doing with him—using each other to forget someone else.
Before we moved into the living room, Jake saw her, too. He stopped, straightened, and dropped his hands back to his sides. A dark look passed between the two.
Decision made.
He was hurting. I’d do the friend thing and get him out there. I grabbed his hand, linked our fingers, and tugged him behind me. “Come on.”
He fell in line behind me, his shoulders and head dropped slightly, as his hand squeezed mine. He murmured close to my ear, “Thank you.”
I nodded. He was trying to get her out of his system.
“I can relate.”
Once outside, I called a cab, but Jake took my phone away and ended the call.
He said, “My car’s on the street. I can drive.”
“Have you been drinking?”
He shook his head. “Tara showed up too early for me to start partying.”
He pulled his keys out of his pocket as we headed for his car. He went to the driver’s side, and I got in on the passenger side.
After the doors were shut behind us, he added, fitting the key into the ignition, “When the ex showed up, I knew the normal thing would be to start drinking, but I couldn’t. My mind was racing too much for me to get drunk. I get hyper and restless.” He pulled into the street. “Plus, I like to have a clear head in case we get into a fight.” The corner of his mouth lifted. “Is it like that for you and whatever ex I had no idea about?”
I laughed. He wasn’t upset. I relaxed into my seat and shrugged. “He’s not an ex, but yeah, there’s someone else.”
“I wondered about that.”
“You did?”
We paused at an intersection.
Then, he pulled forward. “I’m going to sound like an ass here, but I’ve kinda wondered about it since the beginning, especially when we raced away from those old people. You seemed extra charged that night, and then when we got to your place, you got that text, and there was nothing for me. You called me Wanker.”
“I did?” My mouth fell open.
He laughed, turning onto the interstate now. “It was sort of a blow to the ego, but, hey, I’m the one who fucked up. I had a shot with you, and I went back to Tara. It was a mistake. The two of us…” He shook his head. “We’re bad. I thought she knew that, too, and accepted it. I don’t know why she came today, but she’s friends with some of my buddies. They invited her. She’s got friends who are friends with my friends.”
“She wants you back, but I don’t have to inform you of that.” I leveled him with a knowing look. “You already knew that.”
“Yeah.” He sighed. His jaw firmed, and his hands clenched tighter on the steering wheel. “Doesn’t matter. No matter how much we loved each other, it’s over.” He glanced through the side of his eye to me. “For good. I have to move on.”
Now, I smiled. Before, I would’ve squirmed, wondered if he’d meant me, but I shook my head this time. “Are you serious? We just told each other that we were trying to forget other people, and you’re flirting with me again?”
He laughed, his hands relaxing on the wheel. “You’re right, but I can’t resist. You’re gorgeous, Jo. Seriously. All those guys back there were checking you out.”
And cue the squirming. “No one noticed me, except for you.” I paused and then relented, “Well, they noticed us when we walked out, holding hands.”
He barked out another laugh. “You’re right. Tara’s going to be fuming about that for months. I’m sure she’s on the phone, bitching to Susan already.”
Susan.
The interview.
Erica.
I cursed.
“What?”
“I’m in trouble.”
“Why?”
“I was supposed to be at that interview, and then I ditched it.” I cringed. “I told Erica I went home because I was sick.”
“Well…shit.” He turned on the blinker and turned right onto my street.
“She’s the kind to hear that I went to your party instead of being there for her, so she will jump to the conclusion that I ditched her to hang out with you instead.” I groaned. “I’m in such trouble. Fuck Ki—” My hand clamped over my mouth. I’d almost said Kian.
Oh my God. My heart started pounding.
I felt the blood draining from my face as I stuttered, “Uh—fuck-ing hell.”
Jake was quiet, swiveling into a parking spot a block down from my building. I waited, my heart pounding, to see how he’d react to that slip.
After he turned the car off, he took the keys out and regarded me for a moment. “Ki, huh? Tell me the truth.”
Oh my God.
He cocked his head up and smirked, a flirty gleam in his eyes. “Did you go and fall in love with Keetan Birches behind my back?”
Keetan Birches?
It clicked. Keetan was in our class, and he’d given me a rose one day. That was when Jake and I’d first begun to see each other. Jake hadn’t thought it was funny, but Keetan was a clown. He’d pretended to propose marriage at the end of class, too, all for a show and all to get to Jake.