don’t seem like your normal self.”
I almost started laughing. He didn’t know my normal self. No one did.
As Jake was waiting for my answer, I couldn’t look away from the most recent image of Kian on the screen. His dark hair had been cut down, almost as a crew cut. He seemed even leaner and fitter than what he had been before going in. Everything about him emanated power. He looked strong. He was always athletic, but this was more. I saw it in his eyes. They could always see through me. I never noticed before it had happened, but every time he’d looked at me in the courtroom, it was the same thing. He knew me. Somehow, he could see inside of me. I felt it again, but there was an edge to him. He was like a feral animal that had been leashed.
As Jake’s dark eyes stared back at me, I felt him talking to me. I felt him saying to me that they didn’t know the only me that mattered—the broken me. They didn’t know the me that only he seemed to know.
“Yeah,” I forced out. “I’m fine. Just had a bad exam, that’s all.”
Kian’s face was everywhere so I went back into hiding. Erica invited me to get sushi with her and Wanker the next night, but I stayed home. If I didn’t go out, I couldn’t see his face plastered on magazines and newspapers. He was on my email site, so I used my phone to check emails. I wouldn’t have to see the ads or news then. It was dumb and maybe a little immature, but I still wanted to hide.
The media speculation about where I had gone would spark up again. It was only a matter of time. And my small sanctuary lasted until Sunday morning when that phone rang. It wasn’t my cell phone. It wasn’t the landline that Erica had insisted we get. It wasn’t her cell phone. There was only one other phone in the apartment, and only I knew who was on the other line.
I didn’t say anything when I accepted the call. I didn’t need to. The other person said, “Mel’s Diner. One hour.” They hung up, and the hope I’d had of remaining hidden was gone.
That phone had been given to me by a federal agent who was assigned to me. The case drew enough national attention the FBI were called in, and when everything was done, he helped me hide and start a new life.
When I got to the diner, he was in the back booth, reading a newspaper. Kian’s face was plastered on the front, staring at me as I made that trek past the few other diners. Our booth was set far apart from the others and as I slid into my side, he folded the newspaper down. Kian’s face was on the outside, staring up at me.
I sighed. I’d never get away from him.
“Long weekend?”
I shot him a look. “Not funny, Snark.”
He laughed, but there was no smile or grin on his face. His entire face remained stone-like.
I wasn’t joking when I called him Snark. That was his last name. He had introduced himself to me three years ago as Agent Snark. I’d asked one time if it was a nickname.
He’d looked at me, deadpan, and responded, “Why would I joke about my name?”
That was the last of that conversation, and he’d been Snark ever since.
He took off his reading glasses now and inspected my face, taking his time with his perusal. He finally said, “You look different.”
“You told me to look different.”
“You lost weight?”
“I gained twenty pounds.”
I was inspecting him, too, but he looked the same—graying brown hair and eyes that still looked dead. I knew they were blue, but the flat look he had in them outweighed any color they might’ve had. He just had dead eyes to me. His skin was wrinkled, showing signs of aging. He kept himself trim, like he had back then, but I saw the wedding ring was gone from his hand. I bit the inside of my lip. There was no way I could ask him what had happened, if he’d divorced or if he was a widow. Snark did not share information—ever.
He asked now, “You’re healthy?”
“I didn’t go to the gym before. I do now.”
“Good. That’s a new habit then.”
“I also drink coffee now.” I used to drink tea before.
“That’s good, too.” He asked, “Boyfriend?”
“How’s that your business?”
He didn’t answer me. I should’ve known he wouldn’t, so I reached for a napkin and started to shred it piece by piece, but he took it from me. He slid it to the side, and I remembered—new habits. That was an old one.
I shook my head. “No boyfriend.”
“Not even that Jake guy?”
“How did you…” He was FBI. “Have you been watching me the whole time?”
“Since he was released, yes.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Tell me about this Jake guy. What’s he like?”
“Why?”
“Because he wants to see you.”
That halted everything. I had guessed, but hearing it made the floor open up beneath me. “Are you serious?”
“As a bullet to my forehead.” His eyes narrowed, still studying me. “Now, tell me about this Jake guy.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s new. Your other friends are not. Erica. That kid nicknamed Wanker, and by the way, I’d like to know how he got that nickname.”
“For my file?”
“No.” He grinned. “For my own enjoyment, but that’s not important right now. Start reporting. Get on with it.”
“No.” My friends weren’t new. “I moved in with Erica this year. I was in the dorms my first two years, and my roommates were assigned. Jake’s not new either, and I’m not spending time with him anymore.”
“You spoke to him yesterday and again last evening.”
“Wha—” My head was swimming. “Jake hung out with us last night. That’s it, and it won’t be a recurring thing. I dated him briefly in December. It ended when he decided to go back to his previous girlfriend. I don’t understand why any of this is important. Am I in danger? Does Kian want revenge on me or…” Nothing was making sense. “What is going on?”
“The judge was dirty.”
“What?”
“The judge was dirty. That’s why your boy was released. His lawyers broke the case, but as they know, that means their client can be retried.”
“But double jeopardy? Isn’t that what it is?”
“Not if there wasn’t a fair trial. And a dirty judge—that’s not a fair trial. The District Attorney wants to put him back in. They want him to serve the rest of his eight years, and we think Kian’s team is going to use anything they can to throw that possibility out the window.”
“But—”
“You.”
“Me?” What did that mean? What was he talking about? “Me what?”
“If and when Kian is taken back to trial, we think his legal team is going to go after you.”
My mouth went dry. I sat still in that booth, feeling my heart slow. I was being led down a path, and I didn’t like where he was taking me. “What are you saying, Snark?” My voice had grown hoarse.
“They’re going to blame everything on you.”
One second.
Two.
There is no way.
Three.
I couldn’t think.
Four.
Did he really say that?
And five—
I jerked forward. “How?”
He looked around and hushed me. “Settle down. You need the least amount of attention as possible right now.” He stopped talking and leaned even closer. “Good. You have colored contacts?”
“What?” My mind was racing. “Yes. Why?”
“Does your school know your real eye color?”
“No. I used the fake birth certificate you gave me. I have brown eyes on there.”
“Good. Good.” He nodded in approval. “You’re doing all the right things. What are your eating habits?”
“My eating habits?”
“They can track you like that. You have to be a completely new person.”
“Who’s tracking me?”
“Who do you think?” His eyes
narrowed.
A waitress came at that moment with food and coffee. Two glasses of water were poured next, and she waited a second to ask, “Anything else?”
Snark looked around, poking at his toast. “Jelly?”
She gestured to the window. A whole tray of jelly and jam was there, pushed up against the window frame beside us.
“Ah, gotcha.” Snark grinned at her. “Thank you. I think we’re good.”
She glanced to me, but he said for me, “She’s not a breakfast eater. She’s good to go.”
I glared at him as she left. “I am too a breakfast eater.”
His eyebrow went up as he reached for the creamer for his coffee. “That’s new, too?”
“No. That just happened like normal. I have early classes.”
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed and then shrugged. “I thought maybe you were really selling all the new changes. Really dedicated, ya know?” He winked at me as he stuffed a forkful of eggs into his mouth. Eating around it, he said, “I was coming to warn you. Kian has definitely made it known that he wants to see you. He wants to talk to you.”
My mouth went back to being dry. It was the damn Sahara Desert in there now. “And if he finds me?”
He took a big bite of his toast, ripping it off, and he pointed the end at me. “Don’t tell him anything. You remember what I’ve always told you. Don’t trust anyone. Got it?”
“Even you?”
He grunted. “That’s probably a good idea, too.”
I sighed. Right before I went into hiding, I asked Snark for advice. That was Snark’s last words to me. Don’t trust anyone. It wasn’t hard to follow his advice, but it wasn’t funny when he said I couldn’t trust him. I had to trust someone. Right? An old emotion was starting to settle on my shoulders again. I didn’t want it there, but I knew once it got there, it wasn’t going away.
Hopelessness.
“If he shows up…” He swallowed his food, jerking his head up and down. He took a sip of his water next before clearing his throat. “And we have to face the fact that he’ll probably find you.”
“But you just said—”
“I know what I said, but his family are some rich bastards. Powerful, too. They’ve got the means to find you. Hell, they might’ve even tracked me here. I could’ve led them right to you, for all I know, but I’m telling you…” He stuffed the rest of his toast into his mouth and went right back to pointing at me. “If that happens, if he shows up, you don’t say a word to him. I don’t want you to incriminate yourself. You got that?”
“Incriminate myself?” I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even remember what day it was. “How could I do that? I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I know that, they know that, but you don’t know what his lawyers are thinking. Trust me, Jo—”
He was going to say my name.
I pounded on the table in my rush. “Joslyn.”
“What?”
“Joslyn. That’s my name.”
“I know.” He frowned at me, swallowing the rest of his food. “You go by Jo, right?”
“Oh.”
His eyebrow lifted. “You’re strung tight.” A look of approval flashed in his eyes. “That’s good. You might get through this without too much damage then.”
The way he’d said that was like I was preparing for battle.
“What?”
I lifted my head. “Huh?”
“You made some sound. What’s wrong with you?”
“Just…this.” I waved at the table, gesturing to my eyes and then to the coffee in front of me. “I got free of Edmund, but I’m still hiding. I’m starting to think I’ll always be hiding.”
“Probably.”
I was scared. Right then, I was really and truly scared. I didn’t want to hide for the rest of my life. I didn’t mind my life as Joslyn, but hiding and always looking over my shoulder? I didn’t want to do that. And for what? Why? Was Kian really that much of a threat?
“Yes.” Snark’s hand fell to the table.
I had said that last thought out loud, but I didn’t take it back. I couldn’t. I was really thinking that. What danger was I really in?
“Listen to me, Jo.” He had his hand back up, pointing right at me, as he spoke with urgency, “Whether the kid helps them or not, he’s got an entire team behind him. His father wants him back in the family and back to being groomed to take over that entire empire they run. They don’t have another son for that global enterprise. If they could blame all of this on you, his old man will die a happy man. Maston’s team wants your head. They have another chance at a future for Kian, and they’re going to do everything to make that happen. You got it? They don’t give a shit about you. Who are you?” He almost spit at me from across the table.
“You’re no one. Literally. You’ve got no father, no mother, no siblings. You’ve got no one. You took a new name and a new life. They’re going to use that and say, Why is she hiding? They don’t care that your life was turned upside down or that you’re hiding because you’d like to live normally, like they do every day.
“Their son was worshiped and declared a hero. People want to say he didn’t know what he was doing. They want someone to blame as the villain, and you—a girl who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks in poverty—are the perfect scapegoat. If they can find you, they will do everything in their power to serve you up on a silver platter.”
“Well…” I had nothing to say to him. My God. I was already strung tight, and now, hearing that, I was close to losing it. A shrill laugh started to bubble up my throat. “A week ago, my biggest problems were my final exams.”
“Yeah.” He grew quiet.
Hiding from a media storm was one thing, but being blamed for what Kian had done for me was a whole other thing. “Could they convict me somehow?”
He shook his head, but his eyes were sad. Those dead eyes—I had only seen one other emotion in them, and that was a flicker of approval—just now looked depleted as he said to me, “I don’t think a DA would charge you, but I won’t lie to you. If Maston’s legal team is successful with spinning everything on you, however they might do that, your life could be utter hell.” He waited for one second and then added, “And that’s the best-case scenario if they do what they want to do.”
I was screwed. That was what he was saying. “I should’ve gone to college in Panama.”
He looked around. “I don’t know why you picked this school. This was where he wanted to go, right?”
Because I wanted to go here. It wasn’t just because Kian wanted to go here or because the media wouldn’t think to look in the most obvious place, but now, I realized how stupid it was for me to come here.
I didn’t say any of that to Snark. All I did was ask, “Will you give me a ride back to my place? I took the bus here.”
And he answered with, “I can’t, kid. The less we talk, the better it is for you.”