"I'm sorry, Laura," he said. "I didn't mean to get you in any trouble."
"Let's not talk about it, Cary. I'm still trying to come up with a way to explain things to Robert."
He nodded and walked a little ahead of me all the way to school. When we arrived, he quickly went to his locker and left me to talk to Robert alone. Robert took one look at me and the sweet, happy grin disappeared from his face.
"What's wrong? You look like you lost your best friend," he half-kidded.
"I think I did," I said.
The first warning bell rang before I could say anything, and I knew I didn't have enough time to explain it all.
"I'll tell you at lunch," I promised. "There isn't time now."
Robert nodded, his face darkly serious and full of worry. Between every class he tried to catch up with me so he could find out what was wrong.
"Are you all right?" he asked. "You look really tired, Laura."
"I am really tired," I admitted.
"Your brother's doing a good job of avoiding me today. I caught him looking at me and when I looked back, he turned away. He's back to muttering or grunting whenever I try to speak to him. What's going on?"
"We'll talk at lunch," I said, and I, too, hurried away.
However, when lunch hour finally arrived and I approached the cafeteria and heard the happy chatter of the students, all full of excitement about the approaching end of the school year and summer vacation, I stopped a few feet from the door. My feet felt frozen to the floor.
"What's the matter with you?" Theresa Patterson asked as she came up beside me. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
I turned to her. A tear escaped from my eye and I shook my head instead of speaking.
"Laura?"
I ran back down the corridor and out a side door, bursting into the afternoon sunshine and letting the tears come more freely now that I was alone. I walked to an old oak tree and plopped down in the shade, hugging my knees, gently rocking back and forth. My shoulders shook as I sobbed.
"Laura," I heard minutes later. Robert was rushing over the lawn toward me. "What happened? Why didn't you come into the cafeteria? I waited and waited until Theresa told me she saw you run outside."
He knelt beside me. I wiped my tears away and tried to smile.
"I'm all right," I said. "I just wasn't in the mood for all those eyes and all those inquisitive faces today."
"Why? Tell me everything," he demanded as he sat on the grass beside me.
"Oh Robert . . ." I started and then sucked in my breath. "Cary read the letters you wrote to me. He went into my room when I wasn't there and he read them," I wailed.
"Uh-oh," Robert moaned. "No wonder he's been treating me like someone with a contagious disease today. I'm sorry, Laura. I shouldn't have put any of that in writing. Has he been nasty to you or--"
"No, it's not just Cary," I said. I paused and looked around at the slow-moving traffic, the soft cotton clouds lazily crossing the horizon, and the songbirds flitting from tree to tree. The world looked so calm and beautiful that it made the knots in my stomach and the chill in my heart seem worse.
I told Robert about my great aunt Belinda and how my grandmother Olivia had questioned Cary at length about my visiting Belinda at the rest home.
Then I described how Grandma Olivia's interrogation had turned to-my personal life and specifically my relationship with him. Before I could go on, Robert sputtered out, "You mean, Cary told her what I wrote in my letters?"
"Not exactly," I said, "but it had the same result."
Robert shook his head, amazed.
"What happened after that?"
"That was why she had the driver here for me yesterday, Robert," I said.
"Oh. You mean, she called you to her home to question you about you and me?"
"Yes."
He blew a low whistle through his closed lips.
"I'm sorry, Laura. I guess I really messed things up but I couldn't help myself. I had to tell you how I felt and you wouldn't talk to me. . . ."
"Don't blame yourself, Robert. Cary knows he was wrong," I said, grinding the tears out of my eyes and catching my breath. "It's just that Grandma Olivia is the head of our family and she could make things hard for everyone."
"What does she want? Should I go to see her? Maybe--"
"Oh no, Robert. Never. Don't even talk about it," I said and he saw the terror in my eyes. He nodded.
"Well, what should I do?"
"There's nothing to do at the moment," I said. "Except . . ."
"Except what, Laura?"
"Except stay away from each other for a while. At least until things calm down," I added quickly. He stared at me a moment and then shook his head. "What's a while?"
"A while," I said, shrugging. "We've got our finals to think about anyway."
"You think I care about my finals now?"
"You have to, Robert. You want to go to college. If you did poorly because of me, I would feel ten times worse." He plucked a blade of grass and put it between his teeth. "I'm keeping you from eating lunch," I said, trying to joke. "You must be hungry. You're eating grass."
He stopped chewing and smiled. Then he shook his head slowly.
"I don't think you understand how much I love you, Laura. It's easy to say we should keep away from each other for a while, but it's nearly impossible for me to do. I'm going to camp out near your house and hope for a glimpse of you every night."
"Robert--"
"Seeing you in school will be like torture. What am I supposed to do, stay away from you here, too?"
My lips started to tremble, my chin quivering.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm doing it again. I'm thinking only of myself and putting you in a difficult position." He stood. "All right, I'll try to cool it, as they say. For a while," he added. "But Laura Logan, you mark my words. You will be my wife someday. You will be the woman I live with forever and ever, and no powerful grandmother, no overprotective brother, no one can stop it from happening."
I nodded, pressing my lips together and swallowing the lump in my throat. Robert smiled one last time before he turned and walked back into the school, his shoulders slumped, his heart as dark and as broken as my own.
Each succeeding day without Robert, without his smiles, without hearing his voice, receiving his phone calls, was a day of gloom. The sun might as well have kept its face behind a wall of storm clouds, as far as I was concerned. I did my chores, I studied and helped May with her work, but I know when I moved about, I resembled a zombie, a robot without a heart or soul. When I had time to be alone, I walked off and sat on the beach and watched the waves comb the sand, gently rolling over each other, beckoning. Sometimes I went down to the edge of the tide and walked barefoot through the foam. The terns followed me, circling, calling, gazing with curiosity at my sad, forlorn figure alone on a vast sea of sand.
Often I caught Cary watching me from afar, afraid to speak or to approach, distant, a sad figure himself, looking just as lost. He was struggling within himself to find a way to make me happy, to apologize, to win my forgiveness. I kept telling myself that I had to forgive him, that Grandma Olivia had forced him to talk, but that small voice inside me wondered if Cary hadn't told Grandma Olivia so that he could have me all to himself.
Mommy continued to ask questions about my health and even Daddy began to scrutinize me more closely. I blamed it on my studying.
The following weekend we all went to Grandpa Samuel's birthday celebration. It was an elegant party, a clam bake with two bars set up, one at each end of the grounds. There was a large blue and white tent under which tables were set up with linen tablecloths. Grandma Olivia despised the use of plastic plates and forks, so everything was served on real china and with real silverware. A small army of waiters and waitresses, servers and kitchen helpers was hired to help that evening. There were over a hundred and fifty guests, all wealthy businessmen, politicians, their families, and, of course, the best families from the Cape.
People attended from as far away as Boston and Hartford, Connecticut.
A string quartet was set up in the gazebo and played all afternoon, culminating with everyone singing "Happy Birthday" to Grandpa Samuel. It was really one of Grandma Olivia's best parties, but I was still in no mood to be happy about anything. Late in the day, she pulled me aside.
"Apparently," she said, "you are following my advice. That's good, Laura. That's good for everyone," she added.
Before I could utter a reply, she called to one of her guests and went off arm in arm, leaving me feeling a little more empty inside. When I turned, I saw Cary was staring at me. I walked away and started toward the dock.
"What did she say?" I heard Cary ask and turned to see he had followed me.
"She said she was happy to see I had followed her advice and that it was good for everyone," I told him.
He shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Laura," he said for the hundredth time. I folded my arms and looked at the sea.
"She has no right to run our lives," he continued. "I can see you're going to get sick from unhappiness," he added in an angry tone.
"I won't get sick," I said defiantly.
"You're as pale as driftwood," he remarked. "Look," he said, stepping closer, "there's nothing wrong with my being friends with Robert, is there?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Nothing, except I was teaching him how to sail, wasn't I? So, I'll just invite him over to go sailing tomorrow and you and he can--"
"Can what, Cary?" I asked, my heart starting to beat with the possibilities.
"Go sailing yourselves."
"You would do this for me?"
"Yeah, I would," he said, looking away.
"You'll get into trouble with Grandma Olivia, Cary." "I'm not afraid of that," he said boldly.
Just then the wind picked up and whipped the strands of my hair around my face. Someone shouted and we looked back to see a flower display topple.
"Uh-oh, some poor slob is about to be bawled out for not setting that up properly," Cary said and laughed. "Grandma Olivia might take away his breathing rights."
I couldn't help but laugh, too.
"That's more like it, Laura. Remember when I told you that your smile lights up the day?" he said shyly, breaking off in embarrassment. "Don't worry, call him later. And this time, she won't get anything out of me either," he promised.
And suddenly, the sun did peek out from behind a cloud and the warm rays washed over me, making me feel reborn.
That night I dared a phone call to Robert. Cary had already called and invited him.
"I was going to you," he said. "Cary's invitation was such a surprise, I didn't know what to make of it. What's going on? Why the change of heart? One day he comes at me like he's my biggest enemy and the next . . ."
"He's so sorry for what he's done, he's trying to make it up to me, to both of us," I said.
"Actually, I don't care what his reasons are. I'm going to spend the day with you. That's all that matters, Laura. You don't know how sick at heart I've been these past days," he moaned.
"I do know, because I've been the same way," I said.
"My mother's been asking questions constantly about you. She thinks I did something to drive you away and she wants me to know that if I did, I'm really stupid. She'll let up on me now that she knows I'm going to see you tomorrow," he said with a laugh.
It was as if the blood had returned to my body, my heart began beating once again. I caught myself smiling crazily, and I knew I was walking around with a glow around my face.
I was the first up in the morning, and started to make breakfast for everyone. Mommy was so happy at my display of energy, she talked a blue streak as she helped me set the table. Even Daddy looked more relaxed, amused. The only dark thing he said was we should keep an eye on the weather. He said the sky had the look it usually took on right before we get hit with a nor'easter.
To me the sky looked beautiful. Even the clouds gathering on the horizon were welcome to my eyes. The wind was up, but Cary thought it was perfect for sailing. He spent part of the morning with Daddy at the cranberry bog while I prepared our lunches for the picnic on the beach.
"I'm glad you're taking some time off, Laura," Mommy remarked. "You've been working too hard. There's no sense in getting sick before you take your finals and end the school year now, is there?"
"No, Mommy."
"We're very, very proud of you, Laura. Everyone in the family is proud of you. Why, just the other day at the party, your grandmother came over to me especially to remark about how delighted she was to hear about your accomplishments at school. She wanted me to be sure to tell you that, and that she had a special surprise for you."
"And what's that, I wonder?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the sandwiches I was wrapping.
"Well, we're not supposed to tell you yet, but Daddy said she told him she's established a fund in the bank to take care of your entire college needs. That's a lot of money, Laura. It's nice to know your
grandparents care that much about you," Mommy added.
"Money's not the only way to show you care for someone, Mammy," I said.
"Oh, no, but it sure helps," she said with a light laugh. "Just think how that takes the worry out of your father's brow," she continued. "You know how he's been about the ups and downs in the business. He's not one to harp on bad times, but we've had our share," Mommy assured me. "Your daddy's very happy that Grandma Olivia thinks so much of you, too."
I swallowed away the tightness in my throat.
"I'm glad, Mommy," I said and hurried to pack the food in the basket.
I had wanted this to be an extra-special day. I had put my hair up, then down, then up again and tried on nearly everything in my closet trying to find the perfect outfit. I finally chose a pair of heather-gray shorts and a white tank top, a pair of sneakers with no socks, and just for a happy touch, I wrapped my navy silk scarf around my ponytail. I felt as light as air and floated up and down the stairs all morning until it was time to go.
Robert arrived just after Cary had returned from the bog. We all met outside. May had the smaller basket cradled in her arms.
"Well, thanks a lot for inviting me," Robert told Cary. "It looks like a perfect day for this, huh?"
Cary studied the weather a moment and nodded cautiously.
"As long as we come in before late afternoon. The wind's picking up a bit and it will be a good ride," he said. "But you're an expert now," he added with a note of challenge.
"Well, I haven't forgotten what I learned, if that's what you mean."
"Laura knows enough to be a judge of that," Cary said. "Well, let's get going then," I said, impatient and worried that too many words would stir up old wounds.
"I'll carry that," Robert said, taking the bigger basket from me.
We walked down the beach, Robert and I glancing longingly at each other as Cary led the way.
"You want to test me?" Robert asked Cary when we reached the sailboat. "Go ahead, ask me anything," he challenged.
"The only real test is the test the ocean gives," Cary replied coolly.
Robert laughed nervously, his eyes flitting from me to the boat and then to Cary.
"Laura, why don't you take May to Logan's Cove while Captain Robert and I bring the sailboat over," Cary suggested.
"Okay. Be careful," I said to Robert and took May's hand. We had the blanket out and were sitting and organizing our picnic lunch when the sailboat appeared around the bend. Robert was doing all the work. The boat bounced hard on the waves and then straightened and turned toward us, the sea spray shooting up around it as it headed toward the shore.
"It's wonderful!" Robert cried. "Invigorating. Much more exciting than it was the last time, Laura." "I can see that. How did he do, Cary?"
Cary busied himself with beaching the sailboat and then turned.
"Fine," he said. He gazed at the sky. The small dots of clouds had grown fatter and toward the sou
th we could see longer strands of white. "But I think you two should go out right after lunch and if it gets too rough, head right back," he said.
"Boy, just that little bit worked up my appetite," Robert followed.
I was too excited to be hungry. Cary didn't eat very much either. He sat pensive, staring out at the ocean. Robert talked about the Sea Manna, how successful their first few weekends had been, and how they were close to being fully booked for July. Cary made little comment. I never saw him so deep in thought. He looked nervous, too, stealing glances at me and then quickly gazing back at the sea or down the beach. Finally, he stood.
"I think May and I will go looking for seashells while you two do some sailing," he said. "Keep your eyes on the sky, Laura," he added and signed to May, who rose quickly to take his hand. The two of them started down the beach.
"Well," Robert said with a sigh, "we're finally alone for the first time in a century. At least that's the way it feels to me," he said, "Ready for your maiden voyage with Captain Blood?" he asked, shooting to his feet and reaching for my hand. "M'lady?"
I laughed and let him pull me up. Then I took off my sneakers and threw them into the sailboat. I gazed down the beach at Cary and May, who were already some distance away. Cary looked like he was watching us and then turned back to help May hunt for interesting shells. Robert helped me into the sailboat and pushed off, jumping in quickly and taking hold of the rope.
"Let's sail all the way to China," he yelled into the wind.
The sea spray felt good on my arms and my face. More gracefully than I had anticipated, Robert took us out and filled the sail with wind.
"Not bad, huh? I guess the sea is in my blood after all, thanks to you," he said.
I sat with my back against him and screamed at the bouncing we endured until we got farther and farther out and the water calmed.
"The last time I went out with Cary, I saw another cove," Robert said. "It looked very private, too," he added. "Why don't we find it and call it Laura's Cove," he whispered.