You worried you were too old, she worried you’d never see her for more than a little girl. Then when you finally come together, those letters appear and ruin it all. So many obstacles. So much pain. Yet here you are. Not leaving this hospital. That’s what happens when you know you’ve found the one. I once told her you weren’t it. That there was someone else out there for her. I wanted it to be true because I wanted her to have a chance to be happy. But I see now she knew better. You two make a whole. Knowing she found that, that she found you at such a young age, gives me hope that she will fight to open her eyes. That she will fight to live. That she will fight to come back to us.”
Asher Sutton
THE WAITING ROOM was slowly filling up. I’d woken up here for the third morning in a row to find more and more people from Malroy arriving. The girls from the salon, Norton Knolls and his wife, Denver Watson, even Amber and Hannah, as well as faces that were familiar but I couldn’t place. I kept my head down, mostly, lost in my thoughts. They’d be waking her up today. Or trying to. The doctor had said there was a chance she would go into her own coma and then we’d have to wait it out. I wanted to see her eyes. God, I wanted to hold her hand and promise her that we’d get to be all she wanted us to be. I would bust my ass to make sure the past three years became a distant memory for her.
As nice as it was that these people were here offering their support to Luke and Charlotte, I wished they’d all go away. The voices around me were grating on my nerves. I needed silence. I needed to think of all the ways I would try to make Dixie happy.
“Brent said you haven’t left at all.” Hannah had kept her distance until now, but she had worked her way over to me.
I nodded. What was I supposed to say to that? Of course I hadn’t fucking left.
“Can I go get you something?”
This wasn’t the Feed and Seed. This wasn’t a lunch break. It was the damn hospital. Did she think a sandwich would make it all better?
“No,” I knew I was being rude, but I couldn’t get myself to care. Dixie might never wake up and I’d be here eating a damn sandwich.
She didn’t say anything after that. She just sat there beside me in silent support. But I kept thinking that Dixie wouldn’t want her there beside me. I needed her to go. Talk to someone else. Leave me alone.
“Asher, go with me to get a coffee.” Bray was suddenly standing in front of us, looking down at me. He knew I needed some space and Hannah didn’t seem to get that.
I stood up and followed him out without a word to anyone around me. They’d all have to just understand. Small talk and words of courtesy were the last thing on my mind. Luke felt the same. He wasn’t even in here for that very reason. He was keeping his distance from the crowd by staying away.
When we were far enough from everyone, Bray stopped walking. “I have no fucking clue where to get coffee. I was just thinking if I didn’t get you out of there, you were gonna toss Hannah’s hot ass out a window.”
I wasn’t going to go that far, but I was grateful he saved me. “I just need her to wake up like she’s supposed to,” I said staring out the window in front of us. Out there, the sun was still shining, the world was still turning, people were still living their lives unaware that others were locked away in here fighting for theirs. Their worlds hadn’t stopped. Just ours.
I turned to Bray, “Scarlet came by yesterday morning. She was here when I woke up. She didn’t stay because you and Brent would be coming. But she’s close by. Waiting on news. Charlotte is keeping her updated.”
Bray was silent for a couple minutes. I understood needing to be left alone with your thoughts to process it all. So I let him. We both stood there, with our arms crossed over our chests, our eyes on the world outside but not really seeing any of it. Both our minds were elsewhere.
“I’m not letting her go. Brent may hate me for life, but I can’t let her go. She makes me sane. She understands and accepts me in a way no one else ever has. I can’t let her go, Asher.”
I knew he couldn’t. I never expected it to be that easy.
“Seeing Dixie put into that helicopter, realizing that life can end so abruptly, just like dad’s . . . I have to fight for her. Life could end for any of us at any moment.”
I knew he hadn’t meant to, but the image of Dixie being taken away caused a burning in my chest again. I just nodded in agreement. I had to catch my breath. I had to remember she was alive and I hadn’t lost her.
“Shit. Didn’t mean to upset you. You’ve gone fucking white.”
“It’s never going to be easy remembering those things.”
Bray squeezed my shoulder. “No, it ain’t,” he agreed.
I started to say more when Charlotte’s voice rang down the hallway, “She’s awake.”
My heart jumped in my chest. The long strides I took from where I had been standing with Bray to the room that Charlotte led me to were a blur. All I could think about was that Dixie’s eyes were open. She was here. She was back.
When we reached the room, Luke was just walking out. He smiled at Charlotte. His eyes were full of joy while his cheeks were still damp from his tears. “She’s asking for Asher.”
I didn’t wait for an invitation. I moved past both her parents and opened the door. Dixie looked so small on that bed, her skin pale and with all those wires connected to her body, but from the moment her eyes found mine, a smile curled on her lips.
I had prayed for days just to see that smile again, and just from seeing her there sitting up and awake, I started to cry.
“Asher,” her voice was hoarse and soft. I moved toward her as my vision blurred from the tears and a sob tore from my chest. When I finally got to her, I laid my head in her lap and let the fear, relief, and all consuming love I felt for this woman break me further. Her hand touched my head and I just stayed there.
“I love you, too,” she said. I smiled through the tears and lifted my head to see her. To take her in. To remind myself she was alive. We still had our forever ahead of us.
Luke Monroe
MY BABY GIRL was alive.
I stood outside her hospital room door while Asher Sutton sat by her side. The doctor gave us an update on the device they’d implanted on her heart to keep it beating. He explained how her life would be different.
“She will have regular doctor visits. She can eventually have regular exercise in her life. But moderate, nothing too strenuous. This is a hereditary condition so if she ever decides to have children, they’d have a 50/50 chance of having the same condition. That’s a choice she will have to make. Do either of you have a history of any heart conditions in your family?”
I spoke, “Charlotte isn’t her biological mother. And no, I’ve never had any issues. But her biological mother, she died of unknown causes. She had left us, so I didn’t look into it. She hadn’t been in our lives for five years at the time of her death.“ I hadn’t wanted Dixie to know. I wanted to protect her from Millie, from all she’d done, all she was capable of doing. I didn’t want Dixie to mourn a mother who wasn’t worth it. She’d never loved Dixie. Millie had only loved herself.
The doctor nodded. “I’d be interested in finding out if it was heart related. There is a very high chance it was Long QT Syndrome and it just went undetected. It often does. Dixie is very lucky. I’ve said that to you before, but I need to stress to you just how lucky she is that you were there when she collapsed. You saved her life.”
What if Charlotte hadn’t been there? I couldn’t think that way. She had been there and Dixie had lived.
“She will need to stay with us another week at least. Then we will need to put her in some physical therapy to ease her into things. Dixie is very strong and very determined. She has a life ahead of her now and the two of you to thank for it.” He patted me on the back, then turned and left us.
“Will I ever stop asking myself what would have happened if I hadn’t been there? What if I’d been outside? What if she’d been in her room and I hadn’t heard her???
? Charlotte was fighting her tears but slowly losing that battle.
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I keep asking myself the same thing. And now I feel guilty for not looking into Millie’s death and why it happened. Maybe if I’d known more and had Dixie checked on time, we would have been able to stop this from ever happening.”
Charlotte wrapped her arms around one of mine. “We can’t do that, Luke. She lived. She is okay. We were given this gift and we can’t keep torturing ourselves with what ifs. We need to rejoice she is alive.”
I kissed the top of her head. This woman had come into our lives when we needed her the most. She’d taught me to love again. To trust again. She’d given my daughter the kind of mother she deserved. She’d loved her like her own. And now she’d saved her life. My world before Charlotte had only one ray of light in it. My Dixie. But Charlotte gave it a rainbow.
“I love you, Charlotte Monroe. I became the luckiest man alive the day you walked into my life.”
She tilted her head back and looked up at me. “You and Dixie gave me the first joy I’d ever had in life. I’m the lucky one.”
I didn’t argue. She was pretty damn lucky, too. We all were.
Asher Sutton
STEEL WAS STANDING alone outside the waiting room when I made my way back in there to give everyone an update, and to give Luke and Charlotte some time alone with Dixie. I stopped and waited for him to say what he was out here to say. This moment was coming. I knew he had things he needed to say. It was only fair. This had been hard on him, too. We both almost lost the girl we loved.
“She woke up and wanted you,” he said simply.
It wasn’t a question, just a simple statement.
“When she was taken away and we didn’t know why or what was going on,” he paused. “My first thoughts weren’t of Dixie. They weren’t of me. The first thing that ran through my head was that you wouldn’t survive this. That was it. I was terrified, sure. The idea of Dixie . . . the whole damn thing was scary as hell. But my first thought was that you’d not make it through this if you lost her.”
He paused and looked away from me. I watched as he swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I loved Dixie. Hell, I’ll always care about her. But I love you more. You’re my brother. It took that moment to show me how I felt about it all. I was worried about you. If I was meant to be with Dixie, I’d have been thinking of her. Like you were. You cared about nothing else but knowing she was alive. That she was going to make it. The rest of us were scared for her, too. But we were mostly focused on being strong for you.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Instead of talking, I closed the space between us and hugged him. For forgiving me, for loving me, for understanding that Dixie was my heart. She had been for longer than even I realized.
“I want that, though. One day. What you have with her. I want to feel that way for someone. Maybe not tomorrow, or even next month. Hell, I might be good for a few years. But one day,” he grinned as he said it.
“You will,” I told him. “But expect it to be anything but easy.”
“After what I’ve seen, what I’ve been through, I don’t think love is meant to be easy. At least not the kind worth having.”
He was right. Things that came easily were rarely worth keeping.
Heels clicking against the tile floor interrupted us. We both turned to see a familiar redhead. One that had made the twins’ life anything but easy.
“Charlotte texted me that she’s awake,” Scarlet said. She looked thinner and had dark circles under her eyes. The light that I was used to seeing in her eyes was dimmed. Dixie would hate to see that. She’d worry about her.
“Yeah, I can take you to her room,” I told her.
“Thank you.”
“No problem. I know she wants to see you.” Although I wished Scarlet looked a little less sad. For Dixie’s sake.
“I’ll go to the waiting room and, uh, manage things there,” Steel said, meaning he’d keep Brent and Bray in there and away from Scarlet.
“Good idea.”
Once he was gone, Scarlet said, “Looks like at least two of the Sutton boys have worked things out.”
“We always do,” I assured her. Because we did. We were brothers and shit may happen, but in the end, we were family.
“I want that for Brent and Bray,” she sounded broken.
“They will be fine, eventually. But they can’t get there if you’re around.” I knew that wasn’t easy for her to hear, but it was the truth and she needed to know it.
She nodded in agreement.
Dixie Monroe
MY BEDROOM HAD been filled with flowers from friends and family. They were finally starting to wilt and die. The hospital room got too full so they’d brought most of them home throughout the week that I was there. Asher stayed the nights with me. He wouldn’t leave my side and my dad said that if he or Mom stayed, Asher would just sleep in the waiting room on chairs. I begged them to let him stay with me. At least he had a sofa bed to sleep on in my room.
That week now seemed like a blur. I’d been home for over two weeks. My physical therapy was three times a week at a local place. Asher took me there and back to each appointment. We were together. We were no longer hiding.
When I’d first arrived home, it felt odd just even standing in that living room. I had basically died there. My heart had stopped beating. Thanks to my parents, it had only stopped for a few seconds before the paramedics arrived. But I had died in this very house and lived to tell about it.
Asher had stood behind me with his hand on my waist as I stared at the floor where I remembered everything going black. I didn’t remember any white lights or angels sending me back to earth. I wasn’t sure if that meant I hadn’t died at all or if that white light thing was just a myth. But I knew my life would have ended had my family not been there.
Being back home felt good, though. Everything felt brighter. Life felt more precious. I didn’t take anything for granted anymore. Asher came over after work every night and we had dinner together, watched television, and just laid out under the stars most nights. Being together was all that seemed to matter. We didn’t talk about his plans for the future, but we both knew I wasn’t going to Clemson now. Although the doctor said I could, I was scared. I knew in time I’d be brave again. I just needed some time to get used to this. I had enrolled at a junior college that I could drive to every day instead. Asher had one year left at Florida and being away from him was going to be difficult, but I would have him any way I could. I could survive the distance.
Tonight Asher had texted he’d be working late at the farm after he finished at the Feed and Seed. As much as I would miss him, I knew he’d given up all his free time for me. He had things he had to take care of and I couldn’t be selfish. I took a shallow bath so that my stitches didn’t get wet while I read a new book Mom had bought me. It helped pass the time.
When I stepped back into my room, I noticed there was a path of small envelopes leading to my window where my camera sat along with one last envelope leaning against it. I picked up the first one and opened it. Inside was a photo of me with Asher and Brent fishing with my dad at the lake. I was about nine years old. Smiling, I went to the next envelope and picked it up. It was a photo of me riding the handlebars of Asher’s bike across the farm when I was eleven.
Picking up the third envelope, I was anxious to see the next picture. It was of me at thirteen, my cheeks pink from blushing as I stared at the photographer. I was sitting outside on the fence watching the horses. Asher had taken that photo. He’d been taking photos of the new horse Dad had brought to show the Knolls. But he had started taking pictures of me instead and I’d been so shy around him. And completely in love. It was obvious in the photo.
The fourth one was of us. Our first photo of us officially being together. Mom had taken it on my birthday. The birthday he had kissed me and given me the charm for my bracelet.
The fifth photo was of us at his Senior Prom. It was
taken one week before he stopped speaking to me. I wasn’t sure what the last envelope held. The prom photo had been the last one of us together. I opened it and found a note in it. “I’ll see you at the lake. Bring the camera. We are due a new photo.” Smiling, I put the note down and hurried to get dressed.
Pulling on a light blue sundress that fell just above my knees, I left my hair piled on top of my head because the summer nights were warm. It would still be sticky hot out there by the lake. I picked up the camera and headed downstairs.
Both my parents were watching the evening news. “I’m going to see Asher at the lake,” I told them. “But someone had to let him in the house, so I guess y’all already know that.”
Mom smiled. “Yes. He promised he’d have you back soon. Be careful.”
“Be happy, baby girl. Just be happy,” Dad added.
They were odd a bit lately. But then again, they’d been through a very traumatic experience. No one could blame them for not being themselves just yet. I hurried to the path that led to the lake, excited about being alone with Asher again. I knew we weren’t going to be having sex just yet. I still had to discuss that with the doctor without my parents being present, but I could wait. I was happy just being alone with him.
I didn’t see Asher’s truck as I approached and wondered if I’d arrived before him. Maybe he had to take a shower first. I slowed my pace since I wasn’t supposed to be running anyway and began to sit down on the grass when I heard something behind me. I turned around hoping it wasn’t an animal out here in the darkness. And if it was one, I hoped it was the non-aggressive type.
Asher stepped out of the trees and into the moonlight. The silly smile on my face was unavoidable. Just seeing him made me feel that way.
“You’ve got the camera. Good,” he said as he walked over to me and took it from me.
“I agree, but it’s dark out here. We’ll need the flash.”
“Probably,” was his only response.
He pressed a kiss to my lips and I sighed from the pleasure. Then he walked over to the trees and sat my camera down there.
“That’s a nice camera to put in the grass,” I pointed out.
He looked amused. “It won’t be there long.”