Copyright © 2014 By Candace Mumford and A.N.C. Media Publishing.
This book is purely a work of fiction and the names,characters,places and incidents contained within this body of work are not related to or portraying anyone living or dead. Any similarities are purely coincidental.
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Love Locked Down
by
Candace Mumford
* * * *
1. Sampson State Penitentiary
Dana
Dana girl you have reached an all time low! I said scolding myself as I looked around the clean, though sparsely decorated mobile home. I had been through hell this morning...or at least it felt like it to me and it was only 8:30am. Now granted I had made the visit to this very same prison before with Tamera to visit her brother Terrence once before. And yeah I'd driven up here these past few months for our little Saturday visitations,but this shit right here? THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE? This mornings experience took my personal invasion of privacy to a whole other level! I think that damn female guard was trying to feel me up too. That hoe was rubbing my titties two seconds longer than was necessary to do her goddamn job,I thought frowning as I adjusted my breasts. Ol' girl was trying to feel on me something tough!This visit damn sure better be worth it. Today would be the first time I'd be spending time with my husband Terrence Hill. Real time that is. Hell, little did Sampson State Penitentiary know, it would be my first time visiting him outside of three months worth of Saturday visits period. Which is exactly how long I've know him. Three measly months. 90 days. What in the hell was I doing here? I barely even knew the guy. Well that wasn't quite true...anymore.
Six months ago I didn't know Terrence at all. Now I feel closer to him than anyone around me. The whole thing is just crazy but what could I do? I'd really needed him at the time and evidently he needed me too. For whatever his own personal reasons were. I was still clueless as to those exact reasons. Terrence and I both seemed to be in serious binds so why not help each other? I thought trying to calm my nerves. This could still work between us. I pulled out my tube of lip gloss and spread a thin coat on my lips. I always bite my lips when I'm nervous. The last thing I wanted my
“ Husband” to do was walk in and see me with some ashy,crusty ass lips! I quickly stuffed the tube down my jeans pocket, I knew I'd be needing it again. Sooner rather than later so I may as well keep it close.
At the time I got involved in this “ situation” I never imagined that I'd actually start caring about him though. I mean really caring about him. Who am I kidding? I'm in love with Terrence Hill. I'd never admit it. To anyone, not even him. But what the hell could it be? I've never been in love before. Do I love spending hours reading the latest fashion industry magazines? Yes. Did I routinely visit the Garment District, rubbing and feeling on every piece of fabric I could get my hands on until I knew every fabric ever made by touch alone? Damn right.
But this love shit? I had absolutely no experience in. I was 22 years old and had only been on maybe a dozen or so dates. It wasn't for lack of male attention. I just had other things on my mind like graduating from design school and hitting the first plane out of JFK to Paris,France. If I couldn't get there right away,Manhattan would do. As long as I was learning and perfecting what I know is my God given talent for fashion. I was determined to be the next Vera Wang or CoCo Chanel.
I glanced up at the clock on the wall.
Terrence would be escorted to our “home” in thirty minutes. I had a mere thirty minutes to calm myself before actually being in the same room as my convict of a husband for the last three months. Thirty minutes to convince my stomach to stop doing flips and turns like it was a member of the U.S.A. Olympic gymnastics team. Gabby Douglas I was not and my tummy needed to get it together and settle the fuck down!
I mean it wasn't like Terrence is in jail for murder or anything. Yes drugs were bad for society but it's not like he was making anyone do drugs. If a junkie didn't get their dope from him, they were going to get it from someone else anyways right? Besides, he wasn't even in jail because of that. Well, I thought, he did damn near kill someone he was beating the hell out of. But that was completely justified. It was because he was defending my friend Tamera. His sister. How the hell did I get myself into this I thought? My mind began drifting to when it all began three months ago.
* * * *
2. A Sisters Regrets
Tamera
Three Months Ago
I sat in my bedroom thinking of my brother Terrence with a cloud of guilt and helplessness surrounding me. Honestly even though I was the reason my brother was locked up, it rarely ran across my mind. But when it did? The guilt hit me like a ton of bricks. The person closest to me in the world sounded like he was about to go insane. My big brother. Thinking back to our conversation two nights ago had me on edge. Terrence kept saying he didn't have anyone to really talk to. No one that really cared about him and what he was going through. Where the hell did he get that shit from? Ain't I damn near always home to take his calls? In all this time I only let the money on his books slip three times. Then the nigga had nerve enough to take me off one of his accounts and had his lawyer start handling it. Terrence act like those Ramen noodles and honey-buns were going somewhere! Hell I forgot, I have a life too shit, I couldn't help but feel immediately guilty about my thoughts. After all, I was the reason he was locked up anyways. Terrence never tried to make me feel guilty. At least not intentionally. Terrence had always taken responsibility for landing himself in Sampson State. It was just hard to think about him being depressed and unhappy. Terrence had always been the rock in our family, even when he was doing wrong, he did it for the right reasons. To take care of his family.
Even though he'd been locked up for over a year with months to go, he was still providing for my mother and I behind prison walls. Terrence was the only son of our parents, Angela and Terrence Hill. We'd been an average working class African-American family. That is until our father was killed leaving Terrence as the man of the family. He was only 15 at the time. My brother found out fast he'd have to step into our fathers shoes if our family was going to survive. Terrence loved our mother more than anything, they'd always been close. So it wasn't hard for us to see even as children, her downward spiral after our father was killed in the car accident. In a word; our mom was weak. Without her husband it was as if she couldn't function. Loving Terrence Sr. and being a housewife and mother to his kids had been her only aspiration. When my dad had been killed it was hard for my mom to transition and realize she would now have to be the bread-winner if our family was going to be taken care of. Mom didn’t digest the new reality that our families survival was now dependent solely on her. She just didn't fuckin' get it.
There had been no huge payout from the insurance company. In fact even though we had insurance and our father was found to not be at fault, the insurance company paid out very little and our mother was too distraught to fight a case we could have won. We relied on the help of the few family members that were in the city with us. But when they were struggling as well, how much help could they actually be? It was tough asking for a handout from people that were barely eating themselves.
Growing up in Brooklyn exposed my brother Terrence to many things. Both good and bad so when faced with the possibility of our family starving and being homeless, Terrence didn't feel he had any choice. Terrence was only sixteen at the time and we'd spent the last year struggling. I was twelve and our family was in
desperate need of the money. Terrence knew he could easily make what we needed to survive. Especially when he could see guys he knew from the block flaunting easy money. Money they spent on the latest jeans, sneakers and eating out.
We needed it to survive. To pay the rent our mother wasn't paying. To put clothes on our backs and keep our bellies full. Terrence was sixteen years old when he started and what I know scared him the most is how easy it all came to him. So easy that by the time my brother was nineteen, he was one of the top soldiers in the Jamel's crew. The Jamel Owens crew was a crime organization that ran deep through Brooklyn and other boroughs of New York. Each area they had a hold on had it's own specialty. Terrence's area of expertise was soon cultivated in the drug game.
In all the time Terrence worked with the Jamel's crew he'd avoided any run-ins with the law with the exception of the one incident that found him in his current situation. Terrence had been given two years in Samson State Penitentiary after he'd been convicted of aggravated assault against some muthafucka who'd been harassing me at the time.
I'd actually been so mad at Cordell that I'd ran my ass straight to Terrence complaining about Cordell harassing me. If only I'd just listened to him and stayed away from Cordell, things may not have gotten so bad. They say a hard head makes a soft ass but I guess it was a lesson I was still learning because even though my brother was doing time behind my bullshit with Cordell, I was still fuckin' with the nigga. I was addicted to him. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't leave his ass alone. So for the last year I'd been seeing Cordell behind closed doors.
Terrence and I had discussed the situation many times in the past,he said he couldn't honestly say he regretted it. He didn't. Though he hadn't intended for the police to roll up on him in the midst of beating the shit out of that “pussy ass nigga”. His words to describe Cordell. Terrence had great lawyers so he was lucky to get the relatively short sentence he did get. He was already on probation when it happened due to a previous altercation with this same nigga Cordell which was why he got the two years.
Regardless of the fact of how it all went down, I still felt awful. It was all my fault my brother was locked up. Terrence told me constantly not to worry about it and that he'd do it all over again to protect me but I could hear something in his voice every time we spoke.
Something was changing with him.
Terrence's voice sounded heavy, he wasn't talking as much and the cheerful demeanor he'd managed to maintain over the last year was slowly but surely disappearing. Was he getting depressed? His time was almost up. Terrence had come too far to give up. All he needed to do was hold on a few more months.
We...or rather me,since our mama wasn't really about shit, all did the best they could to make his time in Sampson State go as easy as possible. At twenty-two, I was over one of his accounts. Terrence saved every dime he made. Making a point not to splurge on overly extravagant items that would call attention to himself or our family. He provided my mother and I with everything we needed and most of what we wanted but always in moderation. Not that our mother would have ever noticed since she was oblivious to anything beyond a drink in her hand.
* * * *
3. That's What Friends Are For
Tamera
I heard my cell phone ring and picked up.
“ Hello?”
“ Girl it's me! It freezing out here. Don't you hear me ringing the doorbell?” my friend Dana shouted. I wanted to laugh, I could practically hear Dana's teeth chattering through the phone. Ol' prissy ass!
“ I'm sorry girl. Here I come.” I said hanging up the phone and heading downstairs to open the door for my friend. Dana and I had become inseparable in the last year. Especially when Terrence got locked up. I'd just met her and I felt like I could talk to Dana about anything. Unlike many of my fake ass friends from the neighborhood. I think they were secretly glad Terrence had gotten caught up because they thought with him gone, my star was going to dim. Little did they know my big brother always planned ahead! Hatin' ass bitches! Dana had never experienced having a loved one incarcerated but her friendship was solid and came right on time. Terrence had been away only one month when Dana and I ended up in a class together at Parsons.
We'd been like sisters from day one. I mean I still had shit I kept to myself,but I trusted her. Dana was cool. She was square as fuck but she was still cool people. Dana wasn't really my speed socially but when it came to her fashion game? Wasn't shit square about Dana Majors! Girlfriend knew her shit when it came to fashion and design. Dana could take a bit of fabric and work magic. Hell I was low-key jealous she had a few designers already trying to get her to intern for them. I hadn't been asked at all but I knew wherever Dana went she'd find a spot for me. You better believe I was ready to ride any coat-tail I had to.
I reached the door and was shocked to see the tears running down my beautiful friends face when I opened the door.
“What's wrong?” I asked pulling her into an embrace and into the warmth of my home.
“ What's not wrong would be easier to answer.” Dana said wiping her face and sitting her bag down. “ Everything is wrong Tamera,everything.” she said breaking down into a fresh round of tears.
“ Well tell me. We'll work it out. It can't be that bad.”
“ Tamera I don't have the money to finish out this last semester. All my hard work the last three and a half years is for nothing.” she said between tears.
“ I thought your dad was helping you? What about Janay?”
“ So did I. I guess his new girlfriend has convinced him a vacation package for their six month “anniversary” is more important that paying for his only child's last semester of school. He knows how important this is to me. How could he do this to me? At the last minute. There's absolutely no way I can come up with eight thousand in two weeks before the semester starts. Janay is my girl and all but hell we're roommates. I know she doesn't have eight grand just sitting around to give away. She's in the same boat as me. I work part time but that barely feeds me and pays for the subway!”
“ Oh no girl, your dad is trippin' for real! What does he expect you to do?” I asked just as upset as my friend. If Dana's plans got fucked up, so did mine. And I damn sure couldn't have that! We'd already discussed moving into Manhattan after graduation.
I didn't have the offers rolling in the way Dana did but I definitely did my thing too. I was sure once we made the move to Manhattan I was going to make my mark in the fashion world. All I needed was my foot in the door. I didn't give a damn if my foot was attached to Dana.
Shit quiet as it's kept, I was actively scouring Craigslists for places for Dana and I to rent in Manhattan. I already knew my brother was going to catch my part of the rent and all my expenses, hell he already did that for me now. But this little bit of news was fuckin' my plans all the way up. Where was I going to find a new roommate at the last minute? If Dana couldn't come up with her money, maybe I'd plead my sob story to my brother and he would catch the entire rent for me? Hell it ain't like I wouldn't prefer to live alone anyway.
As it was, mama was supposed to be living here with me but I rarely saw her. So I've grown used to having my own space.
The offers were pouring in for Dana, all contingent upon graduating with her degree in her hand. She was so close. Now it looked as if all her hard work was going to be snatched from her.
Dana sat there with a bewildered look on her face.
“ Tamera my Dad said maybe I could just go back in the fall. Earn it myself during the summer. That's what he said to me. Can you believe this shit?” Dana said breaking down again shaking her head as if she was in a daze.
“ What a bitch! He's only known her six months and she's already trying to push you out of the picture. I mean this hoe trying to make your Dad her Sugar Daddy for real I see.” I said sitting next to her on the couch. I hated to see Dana looking so distraught over money. It had never been much of an issue for me. Even after our father passed Terrence alwa
ys made sure I was straight. I didn't even know what being broke felt like. The sad truth is, my brother had me and my mom living better than my father ever did.
“ Well it looks like it's working. Right now he doesn't give a damn about me or my future. I know one thing. This would have never happened if my mother was still alive. It's like he's lost his mind or something. I'm going to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I really need to think of something. Honestly I've thought it out and I don't have any options. Not at the last minute like this. I even went to a bank today for a loan but I don't have anything. No collateral. I have one measly credit card I use for books. There damn sure isn't enough to warrant them giving me a loan for eight thousand.” she said standing and walking into the bathroom.
Shit! I have to help my friend. This will kill her to not graduate this spring. What kind of father would do this to their own child? I can't just let Dana go out like that. I thought angrily. Eight grand wasn't an outrageous amount but I didn't have that type of cash to just give away, but if I ask Terrence maybe he could loan it to her? I got almost that amount deposited into a bank account for me every month. It was to pay the mortgage and all the household bills. After all the bills were paid I still had a nice amount left for my mom and I to use for the rest of the month. I wasn't sure exactly how much Terrence had socked away exactly though. My school tuition was in a totally separate account. The money I had access to may as well have been play money.
I looked at the clock hanging on my bedroom wall. Terrence will be calling in about fifteen minutes. What the hell... I'm going to ask if he'll loan her the money. Dana had been there emotionally for me more times than I could count in the almost two years Terrence had been locked up. There was no way I wasn't going to at least try to help if I knew someone who had the money. It wasn't as if I was asking a stranger. It was my brother.
Dana walked out of the bathroom drying her hands on a paper towel.
I looked up and laughed.
“ Bitch you're the only person I know who can be crying their ass off and still look beautiful. Had this been me,my eyes would be bloodshot. My nose swelled up,snot running down my face and here you are.....still looking like a diva. Bitch it's not fair.” I whined.