“No, I probably wouldn’t. But I do understand about nightmares.” He smiled. “I believe I’ll take this one away from you.”
“What do you mean?”
“If this skull exists somewhere, it will always haunt you. So it will no longer exist.” He held out the reconstruction to her. “Do you wish to make sure of that? Or would you like me to do it? I thought I’d offer you the opportunity.”
“What opportunity?”
“Can’t you guess? Why do you think I built this fine fire? Five years ago, I sent Kevin’s body to a crematorium to be burned. If Doane hadn’t snatched his head from the blaze, you wouldn’t have had to deal with putting his skull back together.” He added mockingly, “Now I can correct that little error.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re going to burn this reconstruction?”
“I regret burning your wonderful work, but I prefer to think of it only as Kevin’s skull. And I’m going to burn Kevin’s skull to ashes. Then I’m going to toss those ashes into the most disgusting mire I can find. I thought about the ocean, but that would be too clean for him.”
“Yes, it would.”
“I won’t ask if you approve. Your work is to save, not destroy. I just wanted you to know it was being done and that you could trust me to do it right.”
She gazed at Kevin’s handsome features, which reflected none of the evil that had corroded his soul. All the murders, all the innocent children … She felt suddenly sick. No one should ever look at him again and not know what he was. And she would not let Zander be responsible for doing what she thought was right. “I trust you.” She took the reconstruction from him. “But I won’t let you do it alone.” She took a deep breath and threw the skull into the flames.
The fire leaped high and hungry as if in blazing welcome.
She stared at the skull as the fire began to consume it.
“It’s time for you to go,” Zander said quietly. “You’ve made your decision and acted on it. You don’t need to see it happen. It will take a long time for it to burn down to ashes. In a furnace, the heat is more intense, but this fire will do what’s necessary. I’ll tend it all day and all night, longer if need be. Then I’ll dispose of the ashes.”
She got to her feet and moved toward the path. No, not like this. She wouldn’t leave him like this. She turned and looked at him. “Thank you for my gift, Zander.”
He grimaced. “I’m happy you’re pleased. I thought you’d think it was a suitable good-bye present for a man of my profession and character.”
“You never do anything that’s suitable. But it’s a gift that I’ll remember you thought about, then gave to bring me peace. That’s a very precious gift, Zander.”
He looked a little taken aback. “Are you getting maudlin again?”
“No. I’m being sincere. I know it’s hard for you to recognize the difference. I think I may have to teach it to you.” She met his eyes. “Because if this is a good-bye present, you’ve wasted it. I’m not saying good-bye to you.”
“You’re not? You may not have a choice.”
“Bullshit. I’m not intruding into your life, but I’m in it now, and I won’t be thrown out. You did that when I was ten years old. It’s not going to happen again.”
He smiled faintly. “You’re intimidating me, Eve. And your judgment is very, very faulty. Do you really want to have anything to do with a lost soul like me?”
“I don’t know. It depends on you … and me. But it’s not good-bye.” She started up the path. “So we’ll see how it goes.”
He chuckled. “Because your Bonnie believes in second chances?”
“Because your granddaughter believes in second chances.” She didn’t look back. “And so do I, Zander.”
Epilogue
Lake Cottage
Atlanta, Georgia
Four Days Later
“DÉJÀ VU,” CATHERINE SAID to Kendra as she gazed down from the porch at the guests milling on the grounds below her. “It reminds me of the day that I was here for that phony memorial service for Eve.” No, not really, she thought. There were no public figures or media at Trevor’s funeral. Only the people who had been on the hunt for Eve and a dozen or so friends of Trevor’s who had flown in from Europe. They were all moving from group to group, talking soberly. Except for Seth Caleb, who was standing apart and alone, drinking a glass of wine. Her gaze rested on him for an instant before moving on. That fascinating face always made her pause, and particularly today, when she could sense the tension behind it. “I was so angry and bewildered when I showed up here that day…”
“And relieved when you found out she was still alive,” Kendra said. “God, it’s good to have her back. I only wish to hell that this was a celebration and not a genuine funeral.” Her gaze was focused on Eve and Jane, who were standing together down by the lake. “Jane is managing to hold it together, but I don’t know for how long.”
“As long as she has to do it.” Catherine had watched Jane all through Trevor’s funeral and burial this morning, and her heart had ached for her. She had been pale, tragic, but there had also been strength and endurance. “And she has Eve. You can almost see Eve…” She tried to find the words to describe the bond between the two women. “She’s kind of spreading invisible wings to enfold her Jane.” She suddenly stiffened. “There’s Venable. I wasn’t sure he’d be here. He was pretty pissed off at Jane for not letting him know about Harriet sooner.” She headed for the steps. “I’m going to intercept him and make sure that he doesn’t say anything to her.”
“He wouldn’t be that insensitive, would he?” Kendra asked.
“I don’t think so, but I’m not taking any chances.” Catherine glanced back over her shoulder. “And he should thank you for figuring out where those nukes were located. Who knows how long it would have taken him to find out where Kevin placed those devices? It could have been a threat for years.”
“Stop it,” she said testily. “I don’t want thanks. I had my fill of it with Eve when I got here. She’s free and back home, and that’s all that matters.” Her gaze returned to Eve and Jane. “And we can only hope that the healing begins soon.”
Catherine silently seconded that wish as she ran down the steps. Healing for Eve, who had been tortured mentally and physically. Healing for Jane, who had lost even more than Eve.
Venable was gazing at her with a sardonic smile as she came toward him. “Catherine to the rescue?”
“It depends on how much of an asshole you turn out to be,” she said soberly. “You’re not getting near Jane if you’re here to give her even one word of condemnation. She’s had enough.”
“I agree,” he said. “Though she was wrong, and I was right.” He added, “And, by complicity, you were also wrong, Catherine.”
She lifted her chin. “Then fire me, Venable. You could make a good case.”
“I thought about it.” He shrugged. “But I’d be cutting off my nose to spite my face. You’re the best of the best. I’ll need you next week when I send you to Guatemala City.”
“I’m not going anywhere next week but home to my son. Find someone else.”
“I could hold your disloyalty over your head and—” He broke off, then said wearily, “But I won’t do it. I’m tired of being the bad guy. Someone’s got to do it, but not me. Not right now. I’ve got to go over there and try to explain to Eve why I was willing to risk her life. I like Eve and Joe and Jane, and I let them all stay under the gun. They may never forgive me because I can’t even say I’m sorry.”
“Maybe,” Catherine said. “You’ll just have to try. You might begin by expressing your condolences to Jane for losing the man she loved. It might establish a rapport that could carry you through.”
“I was going to do that,” Venable said. “I’m not that much of a bastard.”
“No, you’re a good guy when you’re not trying to save democracy.” But she was suddenly bone weary of dealing with Venable and his agendas. “But I don’t care about jumping ba
ck on your bandwagon right now. Go do your duty and clear the way for me to say my good-byes. By midnight, I’m going to be on a jet to Hong Kong, and tomorrow I’ll be with Luke and Hu Chang.”
“Really?” His brows rose as his gaze wandered through the crowd to a table where Gallo stood talking to Margaret. “And what about him?”
Catherine’s gaze followed his, and she felt the familiar jolt of pure sexuality as he lifted his eyes and saw her. He smiled faintly and inclined his head.
Heat.
Electricity.
Both of which interfered with what she had to do. He was a complication. She needed her son and her best friend in the world and not to be swept away by Gallo. She turned away. “I’m leaving for Hong Kong,” she repeated.
“He’ll follow you,” Venable said softly.
“I can’t stop him. He’ll have to do what he has to do. He won’t have an invitation.”
“You could avoid him by going to Guatemala City.”
She ruefully shook her head. Venable was as obstinate as a mule. “No way.” She started to make her way through the crowd toward Joe, to say her good-byes to him. “Find someone else, Venable.”
* * *
“YOU’RE EXHAUSTED, JANE,” Eve said in a low voice. “Go on up to the cottage and go to bed. There are only a few people left, and they’ll understand.”
Jane shook her head. “I’ll wait. I don’t want to leave it up to you. Trevor was my—” For an instant she lost track of what she had been about to say. He was my heart. My life. My love. “All of this is my responsibility. It was kind of you to offer this service, but you shouldn’t have to—”
“Oh, be quiet, Jane,” Eve said. “This has nothing to do with kindness. This has to do with family, and if you weren’t in shock, you’d realize that. Joe and I only want to get you through this. That’s all that’s important.”
“No, what’s important is that I have you and Joe beside me,” she said unsteadily. “You’ve kept me from falling apart during these last few days. I know I’ve been behaving like a sleepwalker. It’s not fair to you.”
“You’d have gotten through it on your own. You’re tough.” Eve touched her arm affectionately. “It was our privilege to be with you. But now it’s my privilege to send you to bed. Scoot.” She gave Jane a quick kiss on the cheek. “If you won’t go to bed until everyone has gone, I’ll see that they take the hint.” As she started to turn away, she stopped and glanced at Seth Caleb, who was standing alone a few yards away. He had a glass of wine in his hand and he lifted it to Eve as he met her gaze. “But I’m not sure that Caleb will take the hint. I may have to send Joe to reinforce it. He’s been hovering over you like an eagle who’s spied prey.”
The last thing Jane wanted was a confrontation between Joe and Caleb. “Leave Joe out of it. It will be okay. Caleb has been very civilized ever since he got here today.” She tried to smile. “Even subdued. That’s a first for him.”
“You’d know better than I,” Eve said. “He didn’t look subdued to me. He looked like a hurricane waiting to happen. I won’t have him upset you.”
“He can’t upset me.” Not today. Everything that could be done to her had been done. “Stop worrying, Eve. He might just be waiting to offer his condolences.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Eve said doubtfully. “Just motion to me if he gives you grief.” She moved toward the remaining pockets of guests. “I’ll be there for you.”
Eve was always there for her, Jane thought lovingly as she watched her. Ready to do battle. Ready to offer a shoulder to comfort.
“I’m surprised she left you alone.” Caleb was at her elbow. “She’s been guarding you all day.” He lifted his wine to his lips. “We’ve all been in protective mode toward Eve, and now she’s returning the favor.”
“Hello, Caleb. Eve knows you’re volatile, and she didn’t want me to have to deal with you today. She wasn’t sure if I could handle it.”
“Can you?”
“I can handle it. I can handle you.” She added wearily, “But I don’t want to do it today.”
“I know,” he said curtly. “You’re so fragile, a wind could blow you away. You’re bleeding inside. I can see it. Feel it.”
“Am I? I guess you’re probably right. At least, figuratively. You know a lot about blood.”
“Not enough to save your lover.”
She stiffened. “No, you couldn’t do that. Though you did try.”
“You bet I did.” His dark eyes were glittering in his taut face. “I tried everything I knew. I didn’t want Trevor to die. I knew it would be like this. Now he’s a damn martyr. How can I fight a martyr?”
“Do you mind if we don’t talk about this right now?” she said unevenly. “I think perhaps it’s time you left, Caleb.”
“Yes, it is. But I can’t go until I’ve said what I have to say. It’s been seething inside me, and it has to come out.” His grasp tightened on the delicate stem of his glass. “And all these fine people who love you and sympathize with your loss would tell me not to put you through this. But everyone knows what a selfish bastard I am.”
“You weren’t selfish when you tried to save me from being shot. You covered me with your body.”
“Unusual circumstances. I didn’t think, I just acted.” He took a step closer to her, and said through his teeth, “I was angry. She was going to kill you. She’d already shot Trevor.”
“You still did it.”
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m all that’s good and noble like Trevor. I’m not like him. I won’t be like him.”
“No, there’s no one who could be like Trevor.” She smiled faintly. “And he wouldn’t like you calling him noble. I remember that when you did it before, he laughed at you.”
“He laughed because we were so different. He had a code of honor, and I am what I am. We weren’t even on the same page.” His lips tightened. “And yet he said I could be anything I wanted to be.”
“I remember that.”
“But I won’t be what he wants me to be.” His voice was suddenly harsh. “I liked that son of a bitch. I didn’t want to like him, but I did anyway. Even at the end, I was mad as hell because I couldn’t save him.” His dark gaze was burning into her own. “And then he looked at me, and I knew what he was thinking, what he wanted of me. It was all about you.”
She shook her head in bewilderment. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“He had an obsession about taking care of you, of making sure you were safe and well. He was crazy about you, so that shouldn’t be surprising. But even as he was dying, he was worrying about you.”
“I know.” She tried to keep her voice from breaking. “That was Trevor.”
“But he found a solution, didn’t he? He looked at me, and I could see what he was thinking. What he was asking. You didn’t even realize that, did you?”
“I still don’t.”
“He wants me to take care of you, to keep you from being unhappy, to guard you.” His voice was harsh with exasperation and anger. “He wants me to be him, dammit.”
“That’s crazy.”
“Do you think I don’t know that? Even Trevor couldn’t believe that I’d be able to change dark to light. But he wanted to tie my hands. And he was willing to let me stand in and take care of what he regarded as necessary.”
She shook her head. “You have to be mistaken.”
“Am I? Think about it.”
“And, if you’re not mistaken, then you’re still not someone who would let your life be influenced by Trevor’s irrational wish. He was dying, Caleb.”
“A dying man’s last wish,” Caleb said. “You’re right, a callous bastard like me shouldn’t pay any attention to it. Because if I did, it would interfere with everything I intend to do to you and with you. I can overcome this setback. Given time, memories will fade, and I’ll be ready.”
She shook her head.
He smiled. “You don’t think so now, but it will happen.”
&nbs
p; His voice was soft and silky, the passionate intensity nearly tangible. She could suddenly feel the force, the power, the fire of him. She instinctively took a step back. “My memories of Trevor won’t fade.”
“Then you won’t be doing what Trevor wanted you to do. He didn’t want you to look back. Remember what he said when he knew he was dying.”
You have to think of it as forever.
“It doesn’t matter. I can’t let him go.” She moistened her lips. “I’m going to go to bed now. Please leave, Caleb.”
He nodded jerkily. “That’s all I have to say. You won’t see me for a while. I’m sure you’ll be relieved.”
She nodded. “You disturb me. I don’t need that right now.”
“It’s the nature of the beast.” He paused. “Aren’t you curious why I’m so angry about what Trevor did?”
“He did nothing. He expressed a wish.”
“He did more than that. He managed to delve deep and brought up feelings that I’ve kept buried and forgotten. I found myself wanting to do what he wanted me to do. Why do you think I’ve been staying in the background for the last few days? I was taking care of you, dammit. Do you think I don’t know I disturb you? I was being sensitive.”
“I’m sure it was only temporary. But you managed to forget all about sensitivity tonight.”
“Because I was going away, and I had to let you know why. I wasn’t about to fade into the sunset.”
Darkness outlined in flames.
“I don’t think that’s possible for you.”
“And my going away is because I want to give you a chance to heal. That damn sensitivity again. I want to move forward, not retreat.”
“Then I’m glad you had second thoughts. There’s nothing for you here.”
He ignored her response. “And I don’t think that instinct to take care of you was temporary. I’ve noticed the effect is still lingering. God knows, I hope it’s temporary. The last thing I want is to be chained like that. I watched you suffering today, and it nearly killed me. But it was my pain and had nothing to do with Trevor or what he wanted from me. That’s how it has to be. Oh, I’ll let Trevor tie my hands for a while. I’ll do what he wanted.” He finished his wine with one swallow. “But I’ll get over it.” He put his glass on the table beside him, and she could sense the frustration and anger back in full force. “I’ll fight it until I break free.” He smiled recklessly. “Just thought I’d give you warning.”