Too late. Lightning struck his mind. Thunder boomed in his heart. The ceramic plate he held snapped in two, sharp stings erupting in his hands, warm trickles of blood dripping to the floor.
His switch had just been flipped.
He stalked toward the woman whose careless words had cut through Brook Lynn's hard-won self-confidence. He'd never hit a female before, and he wouldn't start today, but she was with a man and he'd do.
In the back of Jase's mind, a warning screamed. Don't do this. You'll get in serious trouble with your PO. But the scream wasn't loud enough to overshadow the rage. Someone had to pay.
The couple noticed him, paled and backed away. He kept coming.
Soft fingers suddenly wrapped around his biceps, a touch he recognized. He jolted out of the darkness of his thoughts and stopped.
"Jase." Different degrees of upset and fear layered Brook Lynn's voice.
He whipped around. Eyes of baby blue peered up at him with concern.
"I want to leave," she said. "Let's leave. All right?"
Leave? Inside him, two needs warred. To punish those who'd hurt her...or to please her.
No contest. He gathered her in his arms and led her outside.
"I'm sorry," she said as soon as they reached the car. "I'm sorry I ruined everything."
Confused, he pinned her against the hood. "You didn't ruin anything. Why would you think you did?"
"My ears--"
"Were not the problem." Jase cupped her cheeks, his thumbs caressing back and forth. "There is nothing wrong with you, angel. You are the most perfect person I've ever met and those implants are a part of you. I think they're as sexy as you are."
Her eyes widened with every word, her breathing coming faster.
"I was about to lose my temper in there," he said. "I wanted to hurt the woman for hurting you. I wouldn't have hit her, but I would have hit the guy with her. So if anyone is to blame for ruining everything, it's me." And he needed to make up for it.
He scanned the distance. Across the street was a barn with a flashing sign over the roof, advertising gourmet desserts.
"Hungry?" he asked.
"Yes, actually."
"Come on."
A bell chimed over the door as they entered. There were more customers than he had expected for this early in the day, but he understood why they were there. The scent of coffee and chocolate laced the air, combining into an irresistible summoning finger.
Brook Lynn squealed with delight as she studied the contents of the display case. "Did we pass through the pearly gates and I just don't remember? This has to be heaven."
"What can I get you?" the young girl behind the counter asked.
As Brook Lynn continued to study the case, the light in her eyes dimmed all over again. She straightened, cleared her throat and tugged at the collar of her shirt. "Um, just water for me, thanks."
"What's wrong?" he asked her. "Don't you dare tell me you starve yourself to stay thin or I swear I'll tie you to my bed and force-feed you Twinkies and Ho Hos for a week." Maybe a few other things, as well.
"Trust me, I never purposely starve myself." Her cheeks paled as she looked up at him and whispered, "Jase, the desserts are over five dollars each."
She would deprive herself of a treat over five measly dollars? He'd taken this woman under his care--an angel who should never lack for anything--and yet she still struggled with money issues. He wanted to fall at her feet and offer everything he had, everything he would ever have. She shouldn't have to scrimp and save and miss out on little pleasures while he had millions he hadn't really earned sitting in the bank.
"We'll have one of everything," he announced.
Brook Lynn gasped and squeezed his wrists. Then she laughed nervously, saying to the salesgirl, "He's kidding. Of course he's kidding."
"I wasn't fuc--freaking kidding," he said. "One of everything."
The girl rushed to obey him, and within minutes, he had Brook Lynn and three large boxes at a table in the back of the shop.
"Eat," he said.
She peered at the plethora of desserts with ravaging hunger in her eyes. "I shouldn't take advantage of your generosity."
"Why? I offered. No advantage will be taken."
"Actually, yes, there will be. I have a rule. If I won't buy it for myself, I can't in good conscience allow someone else to buy it for me."
This girl and her rules. He pushed a box in her direction. "Eat, or I start buying more."
"That's blackmail."
"I'm glad you recognize that. But, Brook Lynn? I'm capable of much worse."
"Well..." Trembling, she reached out only to curl her fingers and draw back. "No. I can't control you, but I can control myself."
With calculated intent, he withdrew a warm brownie square and bit off half. She watched him, licking her lips, her pupils dilating. When he held the dessert out to her, she opened her mouth to rebuke him, and he fed her the remaining half. Her eyes closed in surrender, and she moaned in delight.
His body reacted instantly, hardening, readying--always readying for her. He had to touch her, even in the smallest way. He grabbed the edge of her chair and scooted her closer to him, until their thighs brushed together. Contract burned oh, so good.
She swallowed. "Jase." Her tone was firm.
His eyes narrowed. "Brook Lynn."
"Your actions right now are confusing me," she said, her trembling intensifying. "You had your one night. What is it you want from me?"
I want to keep you at a distance, yet hold you close. I want to give you everything and yet nothing.
I want a right to scare every other man away from you.
I want to tell you my secrets.
"I want another night with you."
*
BROOK LYNN DID her best to hide her elation. Her efforts to tempt and hook Jase had finally paid off.
He was trying to take care of her and had just admitted he wanted to be with her again. Both were steps in the right direction. He had feelings for her--he must. But he wanted only one more night, which sliced into her happiness. She couldn't settle for so little when she knew an entire future with him was possible.
Although...he'd certainly raised a red flag today--that temper of his wasn't just tethered to the past. He would have fought a stranger for no real reason. It concerned her, especially considering what had happened in his backyard the day he'd cut his hand. But he'd calmed himself down, so it wasn't as if he couldn't control it. And it wasn't as if she didn't have a temper of her own.
"I want you, Jase, I do, but I have to decline your offer. I'm no longer interested in a short-term fling." Her aching body shrieked in protest, the hussy. Have some self-control! "I'd like a commitment from you."
His features blanked in an instant, hiding his emotions. "I see."
No, no, he didn't. But he would--she would make sure of it. "If you ever decide you want something meaningful, we'll talk. Until then, I consider you a dear friend."
"A friend," he repeated.
"Yes." She sipped her water, watching him through the shield of her lashes--want more for me and yourself. Please.
He ran his tongue over his teeth, peering at her as he gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles leaching of color.
She let herself imagine he was thinking the things she prayed he was thinking. Don't reach out. Don't grab her and carry her away to do naughty things to her. Do something to change her mind.
A girl could dream.
Fight for me, Jase Hollister. Fight for us.
He released the table and settled back in his chair. "How are plans coming for Tessa's party?" he finally asked, and once again it was business as usual, his emotions well hidden.
Disappointment proved as swift and brutal as a tidal wave--made a play, got shot down--but somehow she found the resolve to forge ahead as if she hadn't a care. "As well as can be expected, all things considered. But I've been wondering. If Tessa is gone, why are you guys throwing a party for her?"
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He pushed his chair to the other side of the table, creating physical distance between them again. A metaphor for the emotional distance he hoped to obtain? "We'd like to give her the celebration West promised her just before she died."
Ohhhh. How amazingly sweet and yet utterly heartbreaking.
Brook Lynn toyed with the edge of the dessert box. "How did you, West and Beck meet her?" The few times she'd asked about his past, Jase had given her the bare minimum or shut her down completely. But they were closer now. Had she breached at least one of his many walls?
He looked past her, saying, "We were in foster care. Me, West and Beck. We ended up in the same house, and she lived down the street."
"How long were you in foster care?" Brook Lynn had known about his time in the system, and more and more she hated the thought of him being shuffled from one home to another, losing everything he'd managed to build: friendships, family, even clothes and toys.
Tone deadened, he said, "From the age of six to the day of my sixteenth birthday, when I returned to the house I'd been staying at and found my stuff packed in a garbage bag, waiting on the porch. I was supposed to go to a new home but got myself emancipated and found a place with West and Beck."
Oh...hell. She reached out, wrapped her fingers around his.
"Don't feel sorry for me," he snapped, jerking back to sever contact.
Proceed with caution. "There's a difference between pity and sympathy," she said softly.
"You're right." The fire in his eyes gradually cooled. He drew in a deep breath, slowly released it then reached out and took her hand. "A lot of kids had it worse. At least I had food, shelter."
"But what of love?" Brook Lynn had enjoyed her parents' love, not to mention Jessie Kay's love, and both had been necessary for her survival.
"You have a soft, tender heart," Jase grumbled.
"Yes, but I also have a mean streak," she reminded him.
His beautiful mouth curved into a smile, making her heart skip a beat. "Don't worry, angel. I'll never forget. But I should probably ask around town, find out what else you've done while worked into a temper."
"Don't you dare!" They'd tell him about the time she and Jessie Kay fell into a vat of strawberry jam--and kept fighting. The time they'd both stood at the top of the courthouse and shouted humiliating facts about each other.
Jessie Kay sometimes laughs so hard, she farts.
Brook Lynn thought a vibrator was Harry Potter's magic wand.
"Oh, honey. You shouldn't ever dare me like that. Now I have to know what else you've done."
She leaned toward him, saying, "Why aren't you defending my sweetness? It wasn't too long ago that you praised me for it." In bed. Did he remember?
His gaze dipped to her lips and heated. Oh, yes. He remembered. "You are sweet, that's for sure."
Shivers drifted through her, and she had to force herself to lean as far away from him as she could get without actually running out of the store. Eye on the prize.
"The mean streak really only shows up when I'm dealing with Jessie Kay," she said, getting them back on track, "so I guess you're safe enough."
He rubbed two fingers over his jaw. "You care about her more than you care about anyone else."
"Yes. I don't want her to end up like our uncle Kurt."
"Tell me about him."
If I want him to open up to me, it's only fair I open up to him. "He was a con man to the max, but I already told you that. He was charming and yet awful. He would teach us terrible things but make us laugh all the while. At the end of the day, nothing mattered more than money to him. He lived and breathed it, every word and action meant to get more of it. And now, looking back, I can see Jessie Kay and I were extremely blessed that he left. One day he would have run out of cash, and I don't think he would have hesitated to use us in a worse way to get it."
"Do you hate him?"
"No. You know the saying? Hating someone is like swallowing a mouthful of poison and expecting them to die. It's a wasted emotion. But that doesn't mean I'd want anything to do with him if he were still alive. He was a criminal... He was poison."
"I'm glad he's gone." Jase went quiet, stiff. His motions were clipped as he gathered the boxes of desserts. "We should go."
"But why?" she asked, baffled. Why the abrupt change in him?
He said nothing more as he left the shop. His stride was longer than hers, and she had to run to keep up.
"Jase?"
Again, nothing. He held open her car door, and she slipped inside. When the slam registered, sealing her inside, she had the sinking feeling the action was as symbolic as what he'd done with the chairs. That he hadn't just shut the car door; he'd shut the door on their relationship.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
JASE HAD REACHED a breaking point. When Brook Lynn had voiced her uncle's crimes, he'd known beyond any doubt that she would never be able to accept what he had done. He was by far the worse criminal.
Panic had clawed at him. He'd fought to keep people out of his heart most of his life, and yet she had been inching her way inside. How would he react to her loss?
A cold sweat beaded over the back of his neck. He scrubbed a hand down his face, barely able to breathe. She'd made it more than clear she would enter into a relationship with him, become his exclusively. If he agreed, he absolutely could not keep his past hidden. He'd already known that, but now the truth was like a nail in his chest. It was a guarantee he'd lose her sooner rather than later.
For the next week, they barely spoke to each other. He watched her, and he wanted her...ached for her. She seemed unaffected, going about her chores with barely a glance in his direction.
His mood grew darker and darker, until something finally snapped inside him. She'd turned down another night with him, but that didn't mean he couldn't work to change her mind. The benefits without the label or the necessary heart-to-heart.
By the time she arrived for work the next morning, he'd already rearranged the living room, creating space for the next item on her fun list.
"What's going on?" she asked as she stepped inside the house.
Getting my hands on you any way I can. "You're about to learn how to defend yourself against a zombie attack."
"Really?" Excited, she jumped up and down. "Kenna is going to be so jealous."
As her breasts jiggled with her movement, his hands fisted at his sides.
"Come here." He motioned her over.
Sweet, luscious Brook Lynn waltzed over without a care, not realizing he was a powder keg set to explode. "This is so thrilling," she said.
You have no idea, angel. But you will. Soon.
"You're a beginner, but I'm still going to start you off with an expert move." Fastest way to get you under me. "You're going to pretend I'm a zombie," he said. When she nodded, he added, "I've just snuck up on you, intending to eat you." One tasty bite at a time. "What do you do?"
She thought for a moment, frowned. "How did you sneak up on me? You're in front of me."
"I'm crafty. Now put your hand on my neck."
Her features wrinkled up. "Touch you? But your flesh is so rotted I can see bone, and you smell like a maggot farm."
May not be as cut-and-dried as I'd hoped. The thought of rotting flesh didn't actually set a romantic mood.
"Besides, why aren't I running away?" she demanded. "Every zombie survival guide I've ever read says the first thing to do is run and hide."
Should have gone with Cinderella for a day. "I think I remember you telling me you plan to cut off heads, not run. And I snuck up on you, remember? I've grabbed hold of your shirt. You can't run away."
"Are there other zombies around us?" She actually twisted left and right to scan the room.
"No. It's just us." No zombies...and no humans. Last night, Jase had told West and Beck to beat it bright and early and not come back till after dinner.
"Well, what happened to the others? Zombies always run in packs. And do I have a weapon? Jase!" s
he said, as if the key to world peace had just struck her. "I have to have a sword. If the zombie apocalypse has just happened, I would never leave my base camp without one."
If a zombie apocalypse had happened, Jase would have already tied her to his bed. And for a moment, he kinda wished it would happen. He would be able to protect her, care for her, see to her every need--and she would want to be with him, no matter his past, because she would recognize that he and he alone stood between her and certain disaster.
I'm more messed up than I realized.
"Do you want to learn to fight or not?" he asked. "Put your hand on my throat."
"Fine." She wrapped her fingers gently around him. "Like this?"
The heat of her skin...the softness... "Only use one hand," he instructed with more force than he'd intended. "It's merely to hold me back." Though I only want to be closer to you. "Next you're going to hook one of your legs behind one of mine."
She did--and it caused her hips to arch forward, her core pressing against his erection. If she noticed the intensity of his arousal, she gave no-- Scratch that. She noticed. Her breath hitched, and her eyelids grew heavy.
"Jase," she said.
"Apply pressure to my calf, pulling my lower half toward yours, while pushing my upper body back with the hand on my neck."
Her leg jerked against his.
"Ineffective," he said. "Do it harder."
She tried again, and when that failed, she tried a third time, using all of her strength. He finally teetered backward, but he had a grip on her T-shirt and dragged her down with him. They landed on the couch. Jase bounced with Brook Lynn poised over him.
Gasping, she sat up to straddle his waist. "Um, you may not have realized this, but your move comes with a fatal flaw. If you were a real zombie, I'd already be dinner."
"Well," he said, running his hands up her sides. "I am hungry...and I definitely think you'd make a tasty snack."
Her nails dug into his chest. "This is--"
"What we both need? I agree." He pushed his hands down the back of her shorts, past panty to skin. Goose bumps broke out underneath his palms as he urged her into a slow grind against him...
"Well, what do we have here?" Beck asked.
With a squeal, Brook Lynn leaped to her feet. Jase cursed under his breath and eased to his.
"Um, I'll get to work now," Brook Lynn said and rushed into the kitchen.
Jase glared at Beck. "You're supposed to be gone."