“Yeah. Wasn’t a fun time,” she answered.
“I bet.” Silence filled the air as my foot twitched. I was nervous because I wasn’t sure why she’d asked me in here and how this conversation was going to go down.
“Jamie, I wanted to ask you something. I didn’t get a chance the other day what with all the other revelations,” she started, turning around to face me and leaning on the edge of the counter. “Why did you pay for my father’s funeral?” Her eyes tightened as she said it, and it was clear she was still struggling with the loss of him.
I shrugged. I hadn’t been expecting this question; I’d almost forgotten I had paid for it, actually, what with everything else going on. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t struggling with money or anything. You had enough to deal with and the invoice was unpaid, so I paid it.” There were no other motives. “I just wanted to make things easier for you and take the pressure off a little. There didn’t seem to be any other way I could help.”
She gulped, and her shoulders sagged as she frowned down at the floor. “You didn’t need to do that. But it was a very nice gesture. Thank you, I appreciate the thought. You always were thoughtful like that,” she said, turning back to the kettle, which was starting to whistle on the stove. “I’ll pay you back, of course. I have money.” She glanced shyly over her shoulder.
I smiled and shook my head. “Keep it. I don’t need it. Money isn’t an issue for me.”
“Yeah, I gathered that from the expensive car and penthouse apartment,” she muttered, reaching up for the mugs from the top cupboard. I opened my mouth to reply, but as she raised her arm, the movement caused her tank top to rise a little. A strip of skin was exposed across her midriff and my mouth watered, wanting to trace that line with my tongue and head lower, tasting her and making her moan my name in that breathy way she used to.
Focus, Jamie!
She looked over her shoulder then, and her eyes twinkled as her mouth kicked up at the corner in a smug smile. She’d caught me looking. I didn’t even care.
“Sorry, what?” I asked, my voice husky and full of lust.
“Busted for staring at my ass,” she teased, raising one eyebrow.
“It’s a nice ass,” I replied.
Her eyes sparkled from the compliment, and she picked up the two mugs, carrying them to the table and seating herself in the chair next to mine. “Well, thank you. For the compliment and for paying the invoice.”
“You’re welcome for both.” I turned in my chair slightly so our knees were just a hairsbreadth away from each other. “So, how you been the last couple of days?” I asked, wanting to change the conversation from money. I had a feeling that wasn’t why she’d asked me in here tonight.
She picked up her mug, blowing the swirling steam from the top, watching me over the rim. “I broke up with Toby.”
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open in shock. “Yeah?” I could feel the smile fighting to break out, so I tried to stifle it and not show how fucking happy that made me. No more imagining that asshole’s hands on her and his mouth on hers. I was ecstatic.
She nodded. “Yeah, I decided I would be leaving too much behind if I went back to England.”
“Ah, well, I’m sorry to hear about you two not making it.” I wasn’t sorry at all, but felt I needed to say the words anyway.
She smiled knowingly. “Liar.”
I grinned down at my hands and shrugged one shoulder. Obviously didn’t mask my expression as well as I thought. “All right, I admit it. Did I like the thought of you with another man? Hell fucking no. Did I find it hard not to come over and punch him in the face when I saw you two together? Yes, yes, I did; but I am sorry if this breakup has hurt you in any way.” That was the truth. I didn’t want her hurt, and if the guy had made her happy that was all I wanted for her.
She set her mug on the table. “Why did you hate the thought of me with another man?” she asked, cocking her head to the side in that adorable way she did and regarding me curiously. I had the distinct impression I was being tested. I hoped I got the answer right.
“You know why, Ellie.” Because I’m madly in love with you, that’s why.
She shook her head, straightening in her chair. “I don’t, actually.” She seemed to hold her breath as her eyes met mine. I could see a hopeful glint in them that made my heart stutter.
“Because you were supposed to be mine. And you were until I fucked it all up. I should have asked you to stay and wait for me.” Honesty was always the best policy.
Her eyes widened a fraction, her mouth quirked up into a smile. “You should have,” she agreed.
I cleared my throat, deciding to just spit it out. She was obviously trying to coax me into admitting I was still fucking nuts about her. “So do you think that maybe I’d get another shot? Take you out one time?”
She grinned now, her eyes playful. “Just one time?”
“Okay, maybe a lot more than one time.”
She blew out a long breath, seeming to steel herself as she set her mug on the table and twisted in her seat to look at me. “Look, why don’t we cut the playful act, we just need to be honest with each other because up until now there’s been a lot of lies that have kept us apart. Do you still love me, Jamie?” Her eyes dropped to her lap as soon as the words left her mouth. Her jaw clenched and she frowned, seeming unsure of herself.
My hand stretched out, hooking a finger under her chin. I tilted her head up and made her look at me. I wanted to look into her eyes when I said the words so she would see the truth of them. “I’ll never stop loving you, Ellie, not until the day I die. If you let me, I will take care of you forever. All I ever wanted was to be with you and have a life with you,” I said honestly. Her face softened, the stress leaving it as her eyes bored into mine, but then just as quickly as the happiness crossed her face it was gone and she was guarded again. “What’s wrong? That wasn’t the answer you wanted?”
She shook her head, pushing my hand away gently. “It’s not that. It was the answer I wanted.” She swallowed, looking at me helplessly. “I could love you; I do love you. And I want to be with you again,” she replied.
My heart soared for a second before bumping back to earth with her next word.
“But...”
I groaned and let my hand drop from her chin. “There’s always a but.”
She nodded, her expression almost apologetic. “But...the life you lead, I can’t...” She frowned, seeming to be choosing her words carefully. “How can we even think about the possibility of a future when every day there’s a chance of you being hurt or killed or that the police could show up and arrest you? I can’t live like that. I love you, I do, but...”
That was it? That was her but? That wasn’t a but at all, it was barely even a b...If my job was the only thing holding her back, then this was easy. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and cupped her face in my hands, leaning over and crashing my mouth to hers. She whimpered against my lips, kissing me back immediately, her arms looping around my neck. When her lips parted everything in me rejoiced and the kiss deepened, setting my very soul on fire. I needed her closer, I needed her so close we’d meld together and never be apart again. My hands slid down her sides to her waist, gripping as I lifted her easily, setting her on my lap. Her chest pressed against mine, her smell surrounded me, and her arms tightened on my neck as the kiss grew, changed, morphed into something magical and all-consuming.
I pulled back when we were both breathless and rested my forehead against hers. My heart was hammering in my chest in celebration as she pressed herself tighter against me, her eyes gleeful as they met mine.
“You don’t have to worry about my job,” I promised. My hands slid down to her ass; the material of her shorts, sleek and sexy, made my excitement bump up another level. “I’ll stop doing it. I’ll stop all the illegal shit. I’ll do anything it takes. I’ll leave everything, get a normal job, be an ordinary guy, just like we’d always planned. I only got into this
life because I had no reason to be good, no one to be good for—now I do.” I moved her hips, and her crotch rubbed across mine in a delicious way that made my mouth water. Ellie had always had the ability to make me hard in an instant.
“Are you serious?” Her eyes searched mine. “Look, I know I’m being unreasonable, I should love everything about you and not care what you do, but I can’t love something that could one day take you away from me again. I can’t let myself be with you only to hear you’ve been shot or stabbed or some other horrific thing that’s going to rip my heart out. I can’t do it.”
I smiled at that. “You’re all I need. None of this ever meant anything to me anyway.”
Ellie shook her head, clearly not convinced as her fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of my neck, making my skin prickle with desire. “But it shouldn’t be that easy for you to just decide. I’m asking you to give up your life for me, Jamie.”
“No, you’re not. You’re my life, little girl. Everything else is just existing, not living.” I shook my head, tracing my fingers up her back softly, so happy I could barely contain my exhilaration that this girl still loved me, that she wanted to give me another chance, that she wanted to give us another chance.
Her mouth popped open in shock and her eyes flashed with intensity before she squealed and pressed her lips to mine, kissing me almost desperately. My whole body was rejoicing, reveling in the weight of her on my lap, the feel of her in my arms, her warmth. All of it combined frazzled my senses and made me so excited that I could barely sit still.
My hands slipped up her back, tangling into her hair, holding her against me as the kiss deepened, and this time when it changed, it morphed into something darker, something desperate, something needy.
The mood in the room thickened as she wriggled on top of me, rubbing against places that were already awake and straining for attention. Her hand fisted into the back of my hair as I pulled away from her mouth and peppered little kisses down the side of her neck, stopping to nip gently at the creamy skin, breathing her in. “I love you,” I murmured against her neck.
She gasped, tilting her head back to give me better access. “I love you, too,” she whispered.
Those words. I’d never expected to hear them again in my life. Those four words made my desire blaze inside me. My hands trailed down her body, cupping her breasts through her top, and I couldn’t hold back a groan of appreciation. I’d forgotten how good this was, how amazing it felt to be close to her, to taste her. Her hips moved, grinding on my crotch through my jeans. She moaned in pleasure and that moan was my undoing. I wanted more, I wanted it all. I just about lost control of myself as lust consumed me. She must have felt it too as she breathed my name, her hands sliding down my chest, rubbing the outline of my shaft through my jeans.
“Fuck, I want you so bad,” I groaned, dipping my head and nipping at her shoulder as I slipped my hand under her top and felt her soft, heated skin under my palms.
She fumbled with my belt, her hands shaky with excitement. “Take me, then,” she said, grinding on me.
I stood, lifting her, setting her ass on the edge of the dining table as I stepped between her thighs, my mouth claiming hers in a kiss that made my balls ache. Without breaking the kiss, I pushed her hands away and yanked open my fly. Ellie’s breathing hitched as her legs wrapped around my waist, pulling me against her. The kiss broke, and her eyes followed my hand as I shoved my jeans down around my hips, releasing my painfully hard erection.
As her hand fisted around my shaft, my eyes dropped closed and my breath came out in one long groan. “Fuck,” I hissed, thrusting gently into her hand as my mouth claimed hers in another scorching kiss.
I pushed her shorts to the side, my fingers delving inside her folds. My dick hardened even more at the feel of how wet and ready she was for me. My mouth watered at the thought of going down to taste her, but that would have to wait. I needed to be inside her, needed to feel her body wrapped around mine while I fucked her and showed her that the three years apart meant nothing, that I loved her more than anything, and that we were always meant to be together.
“Fuck. So wet,” I gasped, pumping two fingers inside her slowly, watching her face contort with pleasure. “Ellie, I need you. Do I need a condom?” Please say no, please say no! I wanted to feel her, all of her, not have something between us.
She shook her head quickly. “Implant,” she breathed, moving her arm to show me a tiny little scar on the inside of her bicep. I grinned and withdrew my fingers, fisting my shaft and moving toward her entrance.
“Okay?” I asked, wanting to check that this was what she really wanted.
Her eyes flashed with impatience. “Do you want me to beg or what?” she asked, chuckling and tightening her legs around me, tugging me impossibly close.
I raised one eyebrow. “Begging could be fun,” I teased.
“Jamie! Seriously, bloody just...”
Grinning, I thrust inside while she was still speaking, and her words died on her lips as her head tipped back and her eyes fell closed, her breath coming out in one long moan. I gritted my teeth against the sensations and groaned at the pleasurable feeling as her walls gripped me tightly. I’d forgotten how damn good this was with her.
Her fingers bit into my skin as I started to move, slowly at first, but then losing control of myself. It had been too long since we did this. Her eyes met mine as she kissed me fiercely, her body taking me to places I’d dared not even think about for the last couple of years. It was hard, fast, and intense, both of us desperately chasing our end. This was just a joining of bodies, a desperate need to be closer to cement our rekindled relationship.
She sank back on the table, her hips moving in time with mine, matching me thrust for thrust as our passion turned us a little animalistic. When she came, her back arched off the table and her thighs shook as she gasped my name, her fingers scraping at the skin of my back through my shirt. Her tightening around me sent me to my end soon after.
As we both caught our breath, I pinned her down against the table, my body covering hers as I looked over every inch of her flushed face. My love for her was overwhelming. It had always been powerful, but now it felt like it had grown. This second chance she had given me had moved it onto a whole new level. I hadn’t thought it possible that I could love her any more. Her eyes shined with emotion as she looked up at me, stroking my hair away from my sweaty forehead, a contented, lazy smile on her lips.
“I love you,” she whispered, her eyes shining with truth. I was on cloud nine, still flying after my orgasm, and her words just made me soar higher.
“I love you more.” I dipped my head and planted a soft, tender kiss on her lips. “Can I take you upstairs?” I asked, trailing my finger across her collarbone, drawing a little pattern there. “I want to take my time with you. I didn’t get to do all the things I wanted to,” I murmured.
I definitely hadn’t done even a tenth of the things I wanted to do to her; I hadn’t even managed to get her damn clothes off because I was so desperate.
She nodded as her arms slid around my neck. I grinned, holding her against me as I pulled back, bringing her body with me because I didn’t want to lose the connection between us. She squealed, tightening her arms and legs around me as I strode out of the kitchen and toward the stairs.
Her eyes sparkled with excitement. “We’ll have to be quiet, my nana and sister are sleeping.”
I nodded in acknowledgment and bounded up the stairs and into her bedroom, stopping to twist the lock on the inside so we wouldn’t be disturbed—just like old times. I didn’t turn on the light; the drapes were open and there was already a soft hue in the bedroom to see by, so I walked her to the bed and set her down, my arousal already spiking again. Hopefully I’d be able to take my time with her this time.
I pulled off my T-shirt in one swift movement while she watched me. As I started to push off my jeans, she switched on the bedside lamp. Soft light filled the room and I froze, my bo
dy stiffening all over as my old insecurities surfaced full force. My jaw tightened and I looked at her face, watching her eyes drag over me slowly, taking in the scars again for the first time in three years. My stomach clenched, waiting to see what her reaction would be again. I was actually terrified—Ellie was the only one who had the power to frighten me like this. What if she didn’t accept them like she had before, what if they turned her off, what if she changed her mind? How would I cope with that?
“Does the light have to be on?” I asked, swallowing my anxiety.
Her head cocked to the side and she raised one eyebrow in question, and then her frown dissipated and understanding crossed her face. A sad smile graced her lips as she pushed herself up onto her knees on the bed, reaching for my hand.
She tugged me to her, her eyes not leaving mine as we were almost on the same level. “Yes, the light has to be on.” My eyes dropped to the bed as her free hand touched my chest, trailing down slowly, feeling the bumps and ridges of scars and welts that would never fade. I shivered, my jaw tightening at the disgust I felt for my body. “Please don’t start this whole thing again. I’ve told you before, your scars make you who you are. They’re nothing to be ashamed of,” she said softly. She bent her head, her eyes catching mine. “I love you, Jamie Cole. I love every part of you, scars and all.” Her fingers traced the longest scar across my stomach and to my hip as her eyes stayed locked on mine, unwavering.
“Scars and all?” I repeated, rubbing the back of my neck.
Her hand snaked around to my back, gripping my ass as she pressed her body flush against mine, her hard nipples rubbing my chest through her shirt. “Scars and all,” she confirmed, her eyes showing the truth of her words.
That was exactly what I needed to hear. Another rush of love hit me full force and I crashed my mouth to hers, vowing to be slow and sensual this time as I made love to her on her bed.
When we finally broke apart, my body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and I struggled to catch my breath. I was totally and utterly satiated, and I was pretty sure she was too because she flopped to the side, her hair a mess, her lips swollen from so much kissing and her cheeks flushed with a post-orgasm glow.
“Oh God, I’m exhausted. I’d forgotten how good you are at that,” she mumbled, throwing one arm up to cover her eyes, breathing heavily. “How many calories does sex burn?”
I laughed at the randomness and rolled to the side, draping my arm across her stomach. “I don’t know, why?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “I’ve put on a bit of weight recently. If we keep going like this, I won’t even need to diet, I