could fuck those extra fourteen pounds away.”
I frowned, pulling back to check if she was joking, but I didn’t see any humor there. “What? You don’t need to lose weight! You’re perfect.” To really ram my opinion home, I dipped my head and let my tongue make a slow, lazy sweep of her body, starting at her throat and going all the way down over her breasts and across her stomach, stopping to nibble at her hip. To me, she was sheer and utter perfection, and I wouldn’t change a single thing.
“If you feel that way, I guess eating chocolate cake can stay.” She giggled and shied away, looking down at me playfully.
I crawled up her body, settling myself at her side as one of my hands tangled into her hair and the other made a gentle, appreciative sweep of her body, memorizing all the curves. She smiled over at me, her eyes so adoring my heart was fit to burst. “I love everything about you, little girl. Don’t ever think that you’re less than the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had the good fortune to lay eyes on,” I promised before slanting my mouth over hers and kissing her deeply.
The kiss was so achingly good, it made my whole body tighten with excitement. When she pulled back she smiled, a look of complete contentment on her face as she snuggled against me.
“Go to sleep, little girl. You look exhausted.” I curled around her protectively and sighed with relief at the feel of her in my arms again.
She pouted, tilting her head back so she could look at me. “I don’t want to.”
I frowned, brushing one finger across her cheek. “Why?”
She gulped, looking away from me. “I’m scared I’m going to wake up in the morning, and you’ll be gone and this will have all been a dream.”
A smile twitched at the corners of my lips. “You don’t have to be scared of that. I’m in this for the long haul.”
She smiled at my assurances, her eyes turning playful and losing the fearful edge. “The long haul? How long were you thinking?” she asked, raising one eyebrow in question.
I pursed my lips, pretending to think. “At least eighty years.”
She snuggled closer. “Eighty years? You think you’ll still want to be with me when I have no teeth, gray hair, and I step on my own boobs in the shower?” In the dim glow of her bedside lamp, her eyes twinkled with amusement.
I nodded in confirmation. “Yeah. But do you think you’ll still want to be with me when I’m bald, have a potbelly, and I step on your boobs in the shower?” I replied, tilting my head so our foreheads pressed together while we both laughed quietly for a minute or so. Secretly, I hoped it happened just like that, potbelly, saggy breasts, and all. I wanted to grow old with her; that was all I wanted in life. “In all seriousness, though, I’m not going anywhere. It’s Team Jellie forever,” I concluded.
She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Team Jellie, did you just come up with that?” She reached out, brushing her fingers over the scar on my eyebrow that I’d gotten in prison.
“Nah, I came up with it ages ago, I’ve just been waiting for the perfect opportunity to use it.”
She grinned wickedly. “This wasn’t that moment, baby.”
I rolled my eyes and pressed a kiss to her forehead, about to get comfortable and ready for sleep when I suddenly remembered I hadn’t arranged for someone to take over my shift in the morning. I groaned and pulled away, sitting up and reaching over the side of the bed for my jeans. When I found my cell, I typed out a quick message and sent it to Ed, telling him I was inside Ellie’s house and that was why my car was empty, and told him to come here at nine.
Ellie rolled to her side, tracing her fingers across my back softly. “Who are you texting? Your other girlfriend to tell her you won’t be home tonight?” she teased, biting the skin at the side of my hip and making me jump from the feel of it.
I grinned over my shoulder at her and pressed Send, pushing my phone onto the side table. “No, I told you. There’s no other girlfriends, I promise. I was just messaging one of my crew. Ed. I’ve asked him to come here at nine and watch over you tomorrow morning. There’re a few things I need to go and sort out, and I don’t want to leave you unprotected.”
“I thought you were done with all of that stuff,” she said with a frown.
I nodded quickly, reaching out and touching her pouty lip. “I am. Don’t pout,” I joked, leaning down and replacing my finger with my lips, kissing softly. “I can’t just walk away and never go back, though. I need to explain to my crew, hand things over to someone else, pass the baton, and all that. I’m done with the illegal stuff, I swear to you. I wouldn’t jeopardize our relationship again now that I’ve just gotten you back. You’re my life, Ellie.”
She sighed happily and nodded in understanding. I grinned and settled against her side, reaching out to turn off the bedside lamp before curling around her protectively. Having her in my arms, knowing she loved me and that we would face the world together, was all I’d wanted since I met her. And now, it looked like everything we’d planned for our future was finally beginning to come true. I fell asleep that night wrapped snugly around her with a broad smile on my face.
CHAPTER 25
ELLIE
WHEN I WOKE in the morning Jamie and I were a tangle of limbs, our naked bodies pressed together so intimately that memories of last night made my cheeks flame with heat as my insides sizzled with lust. It had been beautiful—adoring, sexy, sensual, everything I had wanted and much, much more. I’d forgotten just how great sex with Jamie was and how attentive he was. Last night proved that even after all this time, he was still in tune with my body. I’d felt every touch and kiss down in my soul. I hadn’t been able to get enough of him, and maybe I never would.
My head was nestled on his arm, tucked in the crook of his neck as we lay facing each other. Smiling, I scooted closer, pressing my lips against his neck, kissing softly. A contented sigh left my lips as I closed my eyes and just enjoyed being close to him again. It had been so damn long since I’d woken in his arms—and this lived up to every fantasy I’d envisioned in the last three years.
His words from last night danced in my mind and I couldn’t contain my grin. “Team Jellie forever.”
I’d joked that it was silly last night, but I actually really loved it.
Jamie gave a breathy little moan and his hand slid down my back, coming to rest on my rear, his touch leaving a burning trail across my skin that made my toes curl. A lust built within me so intense that I had to clench my thighs together to relieve some of the pressure. I remembered this feeling; he had always made me wild and desperate. I was glad to see that three years on he still had the same effect. I snuggled closer, feeling his arms tighten, his hand sliding down my thigh and curling around the back of my knee, pulling gently so my leg hooked over his hip. I gasped as the new position made us rub together in places that already ached in a delightful way from last night.
“You wriggling like that against me brings back good memories,” he muttered, a sleepy half smile pulling at his lips.
I grinned and wriggled some more, basking in the way his eyes closed in pleasure. “Oh yeah? What kind of memories?” I flirted, leaning in and capturing his lips with a soft kiss.
“The hot, sweaty kind,” he replied, grinning over at me as he rolled, the top half of his body now draped over mine as his fingers traced across my cheek and down my neck, his eyes following their path as they traveled across my chest. He sighed deeply and placed a soft kiss on my shoulder. “I wish I could stay in this bed with you all day,” he murmured against my skin.
“Me, too.” I cupped his face and guided him to look up at me. “But you can’t. I have to get dressed and go see my mom.” My eyes flicked to the bedside clock, seeing it was after nine thirty already; I actually needed to move my butt soon and get in the shower or we wouldn’t have long for morning visiting. “Didn’t you say your friend was coming here at nine to replace you on babysitting duty? It’s already half past.”
He groaned, his eyebrows knitting together as he
pulled away and sat up. I felt the loss immediately, my body yearning for his touch.
“Yeah, he should be outside already.” He picked up his cell from the bedside table, sending off a quick message, and then dropped his phone back down and turned to look at me.
A slow smile spread across his face as he leaned back over me. “Thank you so much for giving us another shot. I promise I won’t let you down. I’m going to make you so happy that you’ll crap rainbows for the rest of your life.”
I burst out laughing, shaking my head at his absurdity. But when his mouth closed over mine, swallowing my laughter and stealing my breath, I felt the truth behind his words—I might not crap rainbows, but he was going to make me happy for the rest of my life for sure. He kissed me until my head spun, then pulled away.
“I love you, so, so much,” he whispered against my lips.
“I love you, too.” The words were natural and honest; they felt so right coming out of my mouth that it made my heart flutter in my chest. But somehow, it just didn’t feel like enough—one word, love, it barely even scratched the surface of what I felt for this boy.
When we were both fully clothed, I headed over to my door and peeked out, grinning to myself because this was just like old times when I’d have to sneak him out of my room. He stayed close to my back as we edged quietly down the stairs and to the front door. As he grabbed his jacket and slipped on his shoes, I pried the door open quietly, just enough for him to slip out. A car was parked behind his, and a guy in his midforties sat behind the wheel, watching us with a cigarette wedged between his lips. Jamie gave him a little nod before turning his attention back to me. His arms looped around my waist, capturing my lips in one last kiss before he turned and walked toward his car.
I sighed dreamily and leaned against the doorframe, pressing my finger to my lips as I watched him walk off. I’d never imagined that I would be able to feel this happy again, not after being so low for the last three years. Funny how one person can come into your life and turn the whole thing upside down.
About halfway to his car, Jamie turned. “Hey, want to get a late lunch or something after you’ve been to the hospital?” he called out, walking backward to his car.
I nodded eagerly. “Sure.”
“I’ll call you,” he replied. I waved good-bye and closed the door as he leaned down and began talking to Ed. As I turned, I came face-to-face with Kelsey, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs with her arms folded across her chest, one eyebrow arched knowingly.
I jumped and let out a little squeal. I thought we’d been incredibly stealthy. Clearly not.
“Morning.” I hoped she’d just arrived and hadn’t seen anything.
“Was that Jamie I just saw sneaking out of your bedroom?”
Well, shit. “Um...yeah,” I answered, not wanting to lie. “We got back together.” She frowned, her eyes dropping to the floor, and I wondered how much she knew from before and how much she had overheard about our breakup. She’d only been ten at the time, but she understood and heard a lot more than she let on. “He makes me so happy, Kels. I love him, I always have.”
Her lips pursed in thought, and then she nodded in acceptance. “He’s your zing.”
I raised a quizzical eyebrow. “My zing?”
She nodded, smiling now. “Yeah, have you not seen the movie Hotel Transylvania?”
I smiled in understanding. I had seen that movie with Toby’s kids, who had it on DVD. A “zing” was what they called it when you met the one you were supposed to be with, your soul mate. According to the movie, you only zinged once in your life. “He is my zing,” I confirmed, nodding.
She nodded, too. “I’m happy for you if he makes you happy.”
“He does,” I promised, even though happy didn’t even come close. Complete was more like it. I stepped forward and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, nodding toward the kitchen, where the smell of bacon wafted out tantalizingly. “Let’s go get some food and then visit Mom, yeah?”
* * *
At the hospital later that morning, Mom was already up and in a wheelchair, sitting by the side of her bed staring absentmindedly out the window that overlooked nothing but the brick wall of another building. My heart went out to her, seeing her so still, so lost in her thoughts like that. She didn’t even look up or notice when we entered the room.
“Mom?” Kelsey said, walking to her side and crouching so they were almost at the same level.
“Hi,” she said stiffly, dragging her eyes away from the window and looking around at each of us in turn as she shifted in her wheelchair, her broken leg jutting out in front of her on the footrest. She looked so different from the woman I’d had a heartfelt conversation with just a couple of days ago. She looked lost and so sad that it hurt to witness. The doctor said there’d be good days and bad, but I hadn’t expected her to go from the open and loving woman to this zoned-out emptiness in just a matter of days.
“Morning, Ruth. Are you hungry?” Nana rustled through her tote bag, pulling out cartons of food she’d prepared and setting them to the side. She popped the lid off one and held it out to my mom, offering her one of the freshly baked cinnamon rolls that were inside. “I know hospital food isn’t up to scratch, so I’ve made you a few things you like,” she said, smiling warmly at her daughter-in-law.
“Thanks, Betty.” Mom’s hand came out, taking one, her eyes still glazed over and vacant. A smile twitched at the corner of her mouth, but it wasn’t a genuine one. It was like she was trying to put on a brave face, pretend she was fine, but everyone could see she wasn’t. The light in her eyes had gone out, the life in them deflated and lost. I had no idea how to help her.
While Mom absentmindedly picked at her pastry, shredding it into little pieces and dropping them into a napkin Nana had given her, the door opened and the doctor stepped in. He smiled at us as he walked over to Mom’s side, picking up her chart on the way past.
“Good morning, Ruth. How are we feeling today?” he asked.
“Fine,” she answered flatly.
He didn’t seem affected by her tart answer. He pulled out his penlight and leaned in, checking her pupil dilation, making her follow the light. He took her blood pressure and checked the wound on her head and then announced that she was doing great and healing up nicely.
He was right, she was getting stronger every day. Her bruises had now all but gone, so it was just the broken bones and emotional damage that were left in the accident’s wake. I nodded, watching him scribble on her chart.
He turned to me and smiled. “I was speaking to Ruth about it earlier, and I think she’ll be well enough to discharge tomorrow, or certainly the day after if you have preparations to make at home to accommodate the wheelchair,” he said, hooking the chart onto the end of the bed and turning back to my mom. “I’m sure you’re eager to get home and sleep in your own bed, right, Ruth?” he asked, his tone warm as he winked at her and then turned for the door.
I watched him leave, a smile in my heart because she would be coming home and I could take care of her properly instead of having to leave her here on her own each day. “That’s great news,” I said, turning to smile at my mom, expecting her to be happy about it. But when I looked at her, my eyes widened in surprise.
She was shaking her head adamantly, her hands clenched into tight fists, tears leaking from her eyes.
I gasped and rushed to her side, dropping to my knees next to her. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked, reaching out and placing a hand on the side of her face, wiping a stray tear away.
“I don’t want to,” she croaked, shaking her head fiercly. “I don’t want to!” Her voice rose, panic detectable in her tone.
I gulped, confused as I rested my hands on her thighs, squeezing supportively to try to get her to snap out of it. “You don’t want to what?”
Her eyes widened and latched onto mine as her features twisted with anguish. “Home. I don’t want to go home.”
I frowned, looking up at my nan
a for some help or some sort of explanation for this outburst, but she appeared just as clueless as me. “Why not?” I asked, cocking my head to the side and regarding my mom worriedly.
“It’s too much, too many memories. Michael...” Her crying increased at the same rate as her desperation as she reached out and grasped my hands, squeezing tightly, her eyes pleading with me. “I can’t. I can’t go there. I don’t want to! Ellison, please?”
Her reasoning hit me like a freight train; my heart squeezed in sympathy. She didn’t want to return to the family home where all his stuff was, his clothes and belongings. The memories of him would be too strong for her to deal with in her fragile state. She might be healing physically, but emotionally she was still broken and wounded.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, Mom,” I soothed, pushing myself up and hugging her, feeling her body tremble with sobs against mine. “No one’s going to make you go home if you’re not ready, it’s okay,” I whispered, stroking her hair like she used to do for me when I was sick.
“I don’t want to go back there. How could I live there without him? I couldn’t,” she sobbed against my shoulder.
I looked desperately at Nana, wondering what we were going to do. She couldn’t stay in the hospital if they wanted to discharge her; they probably needed her bed for someone else. But I couldn’t make my mom go back to the family home if she wasn’t ready to face it all and deal with it.
Nana had tears shining in her eyes as she stepped forward and set her hand on my mom’s shoulder. “You don’t have to,” she said reassuringly. “You can come and stay with me for as long as you want. I have plenty of room for everyone. I rattle around that house on my own, it would be lovely to have some company.”
My mom’s eyes widened as she looked up at Nana, her lip trembling. “Really?”
Nana bent and planted a soft kiss on the top of my mom’s head. “Of course. I would love to have you stay. You don’t ever have to go back to your house if you don’t want to.”