“Because she…she bailed on you. She hurt you. I didn’t want to…” A heavy sigh escaped me. That wasn’t why, and Izzy knew it. “I don’t know. I just…didn’t want to have this conversation, I guess. I wanted to ignore it. Ignore her…”
Grabbing my arm, Izzy squeezed it tight. “You’ve got a good thing with Kenzie, Hayden. A really good thing. Don’t fuck it up. Especially not for her. She doesn’t deserve your forgiveness…yours or mine. And she definitely doesn’t deserve you. But Kenzie does.”
“I’m trying not to fuck it up, Izzy. You’ve got to believe me…I’m trying…” There was a sharp, cracking pain in my chest, and confusion burned like acid inside it. I didn’t want to hurt Kenzie, but Felicia… I had so many questions, so many memories, so many…loose ends.
Izzy wrapped her arms around me, holding me close. She patted my back like I was a child, whispering that everything was going to be okay. Normally her mothering would have annoyed the hell out of me, but right now…I kind of needed it.
* * *
We visited Antonia every evening for the next few nights. She was slowly getting better, slowly gaining weight, but the doctors didn’t want her to go home yet. It was hard to leave her every night, but Saturday night was the hardest of all. Keith was having a pre-season celebration, and every Benneti rider and crew member was required to attend. Unless we were on our deathbeds, we had to be there, maybe even then too. Kenzie was less than thrilled about going. I think she’d only truly agreed to go because Nikki was going and bringing Myles as her date.
I wished we could have stayed at the hospital all night, but eventually we had to leave to go get ready for the party. Antonia was upset to see us go. “Please stay, Uncle Hayden.”
“I wish I could, but this party is required for work. Not going isn’t an option. But when you get better and you get to go home, I’ll bring you something great to celebrate.”
Antonia’s eyes lit up at the promise of a gift. “Like what?”
“I don’t know…how about a puppy?” I said with a shrug. Izzy was going to kill me, but Antonia had always wanted a pet.
Her mouth dropped wide open in shock and surprise. “Seriously?” she asked, trembling with excitement.
A second later, Izzy chimed in. “Hayden,” she said in warning. Izzy hated dogs.
I gave her a one-sided grin. “Every kid needs a puppy, Iz.” This one more than most.
Antonia squealed in delight as Izzy sighed in consent. I knew she’d give me this. When it came to spoiling her daughter, there wasn’t much Izzy wouldn’t let me do. Except buy her a motorcycle. She was still adamantly against that.
As soon as we got back to Kenzie’s place, I hopped on the computer to start researching pets. Kenzie left me to it, and grudgingly got ready for the party. Having a positive way to help Antonia made me smile in a way nothing had lately, and by the time I joined Kenzie in her bedroom, I had the prefect breed all picked out for her. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad.
A few hours later, Kenzie was snuggled on the back of my bike as we made our way to Los Angeles. She was wearing a short skirt that exposed nearly all her trim thighs as she sat behind me, and she was showcasing what she was showing with a pair of sexy knee-high boots; she looked like a million bucks. I was going semi-casual tonight, with black boots, black jeans, a crisp white button-up shirt. I was wearing the team leather jacket that Keith had handed out to everyone. It was an article of clothing Kenzie hated, since Benneti was sprawled across the back. I wouldn’t be surprised if I woke up one day and the thing was ripped to shreds. I wouldn’t blame her either.
The closer we got to L.A., the tighter Kenzie held me. She had to be a little nervous about this party. She’d be surrounded by my teammates—men she’d been conditioned to dislike. And then there was Felicia. She was going to be there, and, for the first time, the two women were going to be occupying the same space for an extended period of time. Come to think of it, I was a little nervous about the party too.
Letting go of that worry, I focused solely on the feeling of Kenzie’s arms and legs embracing me. There was something erotic about having her on my bike. Dipping low through the curves, I could feel her thigh muscles flex and firm, and her fingers had drifted down my stomach. They were sitting so low on my waistband that if she reached down just a tiny bit, she could stroke me through my jeans. God, just the thought was making me hard, and if going to this party wasn’t required, I’d turn the bike around and take her home. And if the drive home was just as stimulating, I might take her the second we reached her driveway.
I let myself imagine every single indulgence I would have with her later, and by the time we pulled into a parking garage beside the hotel hosting the party, I was hard as a rock. Damn. Maybe she’d be up for a quickie in the parking lot.
After finding an empty spot on the fifth floor, I shut off the bike and lowered the kickstand into place. Kenzie hopped off, removed her helmet, then fixed her hair and her dress. God, I loved when she did that. Her tight outfit and her bright red lipstick were doing nothing to stop the surging desire coursing through my veins. I needed her. Right now.
Seeing that I hadn’t moved yet, Kenzie gave me an inquisitive look. “Did you change your mind about going to this?” she asked.
Removing my helmet, I placed it on my lap. “No, I just need a moment to calm down. You’re the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” I added, my voice low, near a growl.
A warm flush highlighted Kenzie’s cheeks as she stared at me, then a slow smile curved her lips. “I’m not sure if I should let you calm down…or hop on that bike and have my way with you.”
A throb went through me, painfully pushing sensitive parts against rough denim. “Jesus, Kenzie,” I said with a groan.
As she let out a husky laugh, someone on the other side of the garage yelled, “Move your ass, Hayes! Keith’s fining anyone who’s late.”
Kenzie and I both looked over to see Rodney and his date strolling to the elevator, and just like that, my hard-on was gone. Asshole just ruined what could have been a beautiful moment. I hopped off the bike and set my helmet beside Kenzie’s. She glanced at my jeans and sighed, then looked up at me with a small, sad smile on her face.
“Ready?” I asked her.
“No…but let’s get this over with.”
I nodded at her, and we walked through the garage, hand-in-hand. When we stepped into the hotel, I moved us toward the conference room Keith had rented for the evening. I knew exactly which room it was once we got close enough—a pair of scantily dressed girls were flanking the doorway. They each had wild, overdone hair, expertly manicured nails, and heavy makeup that you could probably see from space. Keith had dressed them in standard model-wear: knee-high boots, tight leather shorts, and bikini tops covered with the Benneti Motorsports logo. Each girl was holding a tray of wine as they welcomed the riders and guests, and, with a forced smile, I took two glasses and handed one to Kenzie.
She was slightly frowning at the models, but didn’t say anything about it. Keith thought the best way to advertise the team was to show off skin, and Kenzie knew that. It annoyed her though. She’d struggled so hard to be an equal to her rivals; having female sexuality shoved in her face at events like this was demeaning. But a job was a job, and Keith paid his models well; I didn’t blame them for wanting to strut their stuff. They had nothing on Kenzie, though.
“Even wearing three of layers of snowsuits, a Hazmat suit and a mumu, you’d still look better than both of them combined.”
Stopping, she twisted to look up at me. Her face was a mixture of adoration and awe, like she’d never expected me to feel that way about her. But I did; she was the most beautiful thing in the world to me. Considering how I’d grown up—bounced around from here to there, never fitting in, never belonging to anyone or anything—it blew my mind that I’d found love—healthy, reliable, reciprocal love. Kenzie wasn’t going anywhere, wasn’t taking off at a moment’s notice. She was with me, hell or high-wa
ter, come what may, and I’d do just about anything to keep her. Once someone had my loyalty, I fought tooth and nail for them. But Izzy was wrong…once a bridge was burned, it stayed burned. I wasn’t letting Felicia back in. There was no room for her now.
Kenzie leaned up and lightly placed her lips on mine. The softness of her kiss was pure heaven—I didn’t think I’d ever get enough. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. We were tackled out of the moment by a pair of enthusiastic arms wrapping around Kenzie’s shoulders. “Kenzie, you’re here!” Nikki squealed.
Once Kenzie regained her balance, she squeezed her friend back. “Hey, Nikki.” After they separated, a forlorn sigh escaped Kenzie. “I can’t believe the season is about to start again.” Grief passed over her face; whatever she’d be doing for Keith, it wouldn’t be racing. Shaking her head, I could see her struggling to push aside the sadness. “Speaking of the new season…where is Myles?”
Nikki said a quick hello to me before returning her eyes to Kenzie; her smile was a mile wide when she answered her question. “He’s totally pissed that I made him come with me tonight, but he’s here somewhere.” Turning around, she scanned the room for their friend. The back of her form-fitted dress was completely open, nearly to her tailbone. More than one Benneti rider was checking her out, and I was sure, if she wanted to, Nikki could go home with one of them. And if she did and they were asses to her, they’d have me to deal with. Nikki was important to Kenzie, and that made her important to me.
Waving her hand in the air, Nikki got the attention of Myles on the other side of the room. He was at the snack table, adding onto a plate that was already piled ridiculously high with food. I doubted he planned on eating it all; he was probably just sticking it to Keith in the only small way he could by wasting the expensive food. The old feud with Benneti still ran strong in Myles. It applied to me too. Myles might have grudgingly accepted that Kenzie and I were together, but he still didn’t like me, and he definitely didn’t trust me.
Nikki headed his way, and Kenzie followed her. I started to go with them, but something in my peripheral distracted me. Keith was talking to a small group of Bennetis. One of them was a girl in sky-high heels, a shapely dress, with long dark hair cascading down her back. Felicia. She was sipping on a glass of wine, smiling at something Keith was saying. Then, like she could sense me watching her, her eyes flicked my way. Our gaze met and held, and my chest constricted in a weird, disorienting way. She gave me a brief smile, but there was pain and longing in her eyes. Seeing it made the compression in my chest feel like my heart was being pressed flat, and one word echoed throughout my brain: why?
Swallowing, I tore my eyes away from her, and searched for my girlfriend. She had stopped on her way to Myles when she’d noticed I wasn’t with her, and she was looking back at me with a confused expression on her face. My heart sank as I watched her slowly shift her gaze to where I’d been looking—to Felicia. Her lips parted when she spotted my ex, and I mentally kicked myself. Why the hell hadn’t I looked away immediately? How could I explain that to Kenzie?
Kenzie turned on her heel, and I hurried to catch up to her. I tried holding her hand, but she subtly resisted. I settled on grabbing her wrist instead. “I’m sorry,” I muttered, “I just…” I just what? Couldn’t help myself from staring? From wondering? From ruminating on why she’d thrown us away like garbage?
Kenzie suddenly grabbed my hand. She squeezed my fingers so tight, they went numb. “It’s fine.” Her tone was cool, and her eyes were liquid fire. It wasn’t fine, but she was trying to let it go. God, she was amazing. With a tight smile, she added, “We should hurry if we want any bacon-wrapped scallops. Looks like Myles is going for a world record.”
Fuck. Five minutes in, and I had already screwed up. Well, the least I could do was let Kenzie pretend she was fine. We could talk about it later. If we had to. Fuck, this crap made me miss when our biggest problem was the Benneti Ban. That was easy compared to this confusing, emotional crap.
Agitation and regret coursed through me. Myles’s deep brown eyes narrowed as they took me in, then he shifted his gaze to Kenzie. Holding a soaring plate of food her way, he said, “Here, take this so I can fill up another one.”
“No thanks, Myles,” she responded with a smile.
Shrugging, he handed the plate to Nikki instead, then grabbed another one and started piling it with food too. It wouldn’t surprise me if he spent the evening filling plates then leaving them untouched on all the various tables spaced throughout the room.
Kenzie dropped my hand so she could give Myles a hug. For some reason, I was reluctant to let her go. Maybe it was because I could still feel Felicia’s eyes boring into me, trying to draw me away again. But I wouldn’t get sucked into that trap twice. Kenzie had all my focus now.
When Myles and Kenzie pulled apart, Kenzie sighed. “It’s so good to see you, Myles. It’s been too long. And with the season starting, we’re going to see you even less than we do now.” I knew the truth of that. Myles had made it down from his new racing team in San Francisco a couple times a week earlier, but now that training was in full swing, Kenzie hadn’t seen him in a while. And she might not see him outside of events for months after tonight.
Myles frowned at her and Nikki, his two best friends who he’d had to leave behind when Cox Racing fell apart. “Yeah, I know. That’s the part of all this that really sucks the most.”
Looking sad, Kenzie nodded. In the silence, I asked Myles a question that I hoped would shift the mood in the air. “You ready for the new year? How are you feeling?” My gaze flicked down to his neck. Myles had been in a bad crash last year, a wreck that had ended his season early. Everything else had healed on him, but from what Kenzie had told me, his collarbone still ached on occasion.
Myles didn’t seem entirely thrilled to be talking directly to me, and he ran a hand through his scruffy brown hair before he answered. “I’m feeling good…feeling ready.” He unconsciously brought his fingers to the sore spot, and rubbed it a little. For a time, Myles had believed that I was the one responsible for his unfortunate accident. And in a way, he was kind of right. Hookup had hurt him, and I was the one who had brought Hookup into the world. Indirectly, I was one hundred percent responsible for his wreck. Thank God he was okay now.
The lights in the room suddenly darkened, then swirling spotlights started circulating, making me dizzy. A voice coming through the speaker system welcomed everyone to the greatest party of the year. That made Kenzie roll her eyes. When the announcer started highlighting Benneti Motorsports achievements, she almost turned and left. Squeezing her hand tight was the only thing that kept her in place.
When the accolades stopped, the spotlights focused on one person—Keith. Larger than life in a powder blue tux, a jewel encrusted arm crutch, and his signature aviator sunglasses, Keith gave the applauding masses a grandiose bow. Microphone in hand, he proudly exclaimed, “Welcome honored friends and guests, to our annual Benneti Bash! I hope you enjoy the food and drinks, and hope you partake in…whatever your heart desires this evening.” His face stopped directly on mine when he said that, and annoyance churned in my stomach. What was he playing at?
While I cast a quick glance at Kenzie, Keith pointed off to his right. “I’m sure you’ve all met the absolutely stunning Felicia Tucker by now, but what you might not know is how talented this devastating beauty is. Felicia…come up here and show yourself off.”
As I looked around the room, I noticed something I should have earlier—cameras and reporters—Keith had invited the media, so he could show off his newest acquisition. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to stop there though. Now I wanted to leave too. Keith had only required that we show up on time; he hadn’t said anything about staying.
While the crowd whistled their approval of Felicia, I opened my mouth to ask Kenzie if she was ready to go. I never got the chance though. Keith’s voice interrupted me. “Between Felicia and Hayden, Benneti Motorsports just might have the best-looking
riders in the championship. Hayden, where are you? The reporters want to see how great you and Felicia look together.”
Before either of us could disappear, a spotlight burst into life around us; it was angled in such a way that I was nearly blinded, and Kenzie was drenched in darkness. As all eyes turned to me, I debated what I could do. Snub Keith and run? His assholeness toward Kenzie, and his constant little manipulations with Felicia were really starting to piss me off, but…he had given Kenzie a job, and he had given me my shot. I owed him for that. So much more than I could ever repay.
Keith’s voice boomed over the speakers while I closed my eyes in frustration. “Hayden, get your ass up here.”
Praying Kenzie understood why I had to do this, I reopened my eyes with a resigned sigh. Giving her an apologetic smile, I turned and headed to where Keith and Felicia were waiting. Felicia was practically glowing as I approached her; the hope in her eyes was evident for everyone to see. She was wearing a slinky cocktail dress that was cut down the front to her waist. A long Y-necklace was resting between her breasts, and she played with the end of it while she waited for me to join her. The second I did, she immediately looped her arm around mine.
I instantly yanked my arm free and stepped away from her, and she grabbed my hand instead. I tried shaking her off, but she had a death-like grip on me. She was all smiles for the camera now, and by the way she was leaning on my arm, it probably looked like we were a lot more than teammates. Goddamn it.
My face tightened in anger and my body tensed. And that was when some clever asshole shouted, “Bend her over, Hayes! Give her a real Benneti Bash!”
Felicia laughed like the crude suggestion was funny. Kenzie’s face went bright red, and she said something to Nikki. I watched as Nikki said something calming to her in return, hopefully defending me. But then Myles said something to both of them. I couldn’t hear what he said, but it seemed to piss Nikki off, and Kenzie’s face was ghostly pale when she looked back at me. Shit. He’d gotten to her. We were definitely going to have a talk after this.