Anxiety coiled my stomach into a knot. “Are you saying I’m not welcome here?”
With a gaze void of emotion, my father only hesitated a second before calmly placing another wedge between us. “If you’re still with him, then yes…you’re not welcome here. I’m sorry, but until you’re single, Mackenzie…I need you to leave.”
Ice-water filled me as I stared at him in shock. That’s it? Him or me, no exceptions, no compromise, no…nothing. I couldn’t believe he was actually going to take it this far. Because he didn’t approve of the guy I was seeing? Because he didn’t like that I’d stood up to him and made a shocking, and rather hasty, decision about my career? Because he thought he was helping me, and thought I’d eventually come around if he stuck to his guns. Bullshit.
“Fine,” I bit out. “Give Daphne and Theresa my best.” Turning around, I headed back to my bike. Might as well go, since there was nothing here for me.
I left a deep rut in Dad’s gravel driveway, I squealed out of there so fast. I knew he’d be pissed about that, but at this point I didn’t care. He’d blacklisted me, and now he was disowning me. So much for the unbreakable bond of family.
Tears coursed down my cheeks as the grief took me over, and the road blurred in my vision. I’d known choosing Hayden over Dad would damage our relationship, but I’d had no idea just how deep the cut would go. And I hadn’t realized that I’d lose Daphne and Theresa too. I thought they would be able to see that Dad was overreacting, but they were being just as silent as Dad.
Well, screw them. Like Hayden had said: we didn’t need anybody.
Not wanting to go home, I headed to the practice track instead. Since I didn’t have a key, I snuck in through Hayden’s secret entrance in the chain-link fence; I never in a million years thought I’d be using it without him. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be at the track, not on Keith’s side at least, but I was fuming. I needed a release or I was going to explode. Dad had screwed me over, yet again, and rage and anguish were battling for dominance inside me. I needed Hayden to calm me down, to see me through the turmoil.
Nikki approached me the minute she saw me step into the Benneti garage. “Kenzie, you’re not supposed to be here.” She paused a second, then asked, “What’s wrong? You look like you just got canned, but since you’re not working right now, I know that’s not it…”
Her voice trailed off as her expression grew apologetic.
Stepping away from her, I lifted my hands into the air. “I’m fine, just thought I could talk some sense into my father, but apparently, I can’t, and I don’t know why I even…” My throat tightened with emotion, choking off all speech; I wished I could claw it back open. Swallowing a few times, I quickly asked Nikki, “Do you know where Hayden is? I really need to talk to him.” He was my center—he would realign me.
A strange look passed over Nikki’s face. “He’s upstairs with Felicia.”
Anxiety chilled my skin, down to the bones. “As in, they both happen to be upstairs at the same time, or they purposely left together to go upstairs?”
She held her palms up to me. “As in, Keith asked them both into his office. I don’t know why.”
Great. I tried to move around Nikki to get to the stairs, but she blocked me. “Where are you going?”
I pointed to the staircase behind her. “I’m going up there. And Keith can bitch and moan all he wants, I really don’t give a shit anymore.” Slipping around her, I dashed toward the stairs.
“Kenzie, wait!” she cried out, but I didn’t wait. I stormed up the stairs; Nikki followed right on my tail. “Kenzie,” she hissed. “You shouldn’t be here. I can get Hayden for you…just wait outside.” She was looking around the entire time she spoke, like she expected a ghost to come out and startle her. Or Keith to walk out and fire her.
As I tromped down the hallway, I found the door to the locker room, the gym, and the storage closet, but I couldn’t seem to find the door I really wanted—the one to Keith’s office. “It will be fine, Nikki. Keith isn’t going to—”
Just then, Keith stepped out of a doorway to stand right in front of us. “Keith isn’t going to what?” he asked, his dark eyes flicking between Nikki and me.
My heart leapt into my throat, and I instantly cursed my stupid luck. I wasn’t sure what Keith could do to me, other than keep me from seeing the Cox side of the track, too, but I didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to talk to him. Just being in his building was bad enough; everything here smelled like him.
Nikki started sputtering an excuse as she pulled on my arm. “Oh, hey, Mr. Benneti. Kenzie and I were just heading outside...”
Keith’s eyes narrowed as he locked onto her. “You. Go downstairs and get back to work. Now.”
Nikki gave me a sorry smile before immediately turning and dashing back to her station. When Keith and I were alone in the hallway, I straightened my shoulders and faced him as proudly as I could. “Keith…I know you don’t like me being here, but I need to speak to Hayden, and Nikki said you asked him—”
Shifting his weight on his crutch, Keith eyed me up and down before coldly interrupting me. “Has anyone ever told you…how much you look like your mother?”
His question completely caught me off guard, and everything I’d been about to say fled from my mind. “Yes,” I murmured, feeling chilled all over. “I hear that a lot.”
A smug smile spread over Keith’s face. “Yeah, I bet you hear a lot of things…and I bet all of them are one-sided. Do you want to know the real reason why your mother came to me?”
I kept my mouth firmly closed. No, I really didn’t want to hear his version of the “real” reason. I didn’t want to hear about anything that had happened between them.
Keith continued liked I’d said I’d love to hear all about it. “Your father can be a real piece of work sometimes…cold, vindictive, manipulative. Whether it’s an argument or a race, he needs to win, at any cost, and he’s not afraid to burn bridges to get what he wants. Surely you’ve noticed his tenacity?”
Yes. Unfortunately, I had. I couldn’t keep looking at Keith, and had to avert my eyes.
Keith made a sound that was both approval and disgust. “Yeah, thought you might have. I heard he blacklisted you from everyone…made deals so no one would let you race. All to keep you from my boy, I’m guessing. Interesting. And you probably still think that between the two of us, I’m the asshole.”
My eyes returned to his then, and even I could feel the affirmation in my glare. Keith smirked. “Daddy’s little girl,” he murmured.
Having had enough of this sort-of conversation with him, I started backing away. “I should probably get back to—”
“Why haven’t you asked me about a job?” Keith asked, his face completely serious.
I froze in my tracks, and my heart started thudding in my chest. Honestly, I didn’t think he’d ever hire me—he hated me, had banned me from his building—so I’d never truly considered asking him. That, and I despised him too. “I…I didn’t think… Would you hire me?” my voice was a squeaky whisper, and I hated how desperate I sounded.
A smug smile spread over Keith’s lips, and he stroked one of his muttonchops while he mulled over my question. My heart was pounding so hard, I thought I might pass out while I waited for him to say something. God, I hated even the idea of the name Benneti on my back, but if it meant I could ride again…
“No.” The singular word burst my bubble so hard, I actually flinched. As defeat poured over me, Keith shrugged. “Not as a racer anyway. Since I hired Felicia, I’m full for the year. And I’m not about to fire her for you. She’s absolutely incredible.” A creepy smile spread over his face as he closed his eyes and reveled in the wonder that was Hayden’s ex-girlfriend. I didn’t even want to know what he was thinking about.
When he reopened his eyes, he lifted an eyebrow. “But I might have a job opening for you…if you’re interested.”
I stepped forward in my enthusiasm. “Yes, I’m interested. What woul
d I be doing?”
He shrugged. “Book a flight to Daytona. I’ll fill you in there.”
Feeling like I was having some bizarre dream, I nodded. “Yeah…okay.”
“Good.” Turning around, he shuffled down the hallway toward the stairs.
God, I’d never imagined in a million years that an encounter with Keith would end up with me having a job. And even though it lifted my spirits to have something in this racing world to look forward to again, I couldn’t help but feel like I was covered in a layer of grime now. I wanted to stand under a shower for an hour, and scrub every inch of me. Was this what selling out felt like?
I was still standing there in a daze, when Hayden finally appeared from around the corner. He was storming down the hallway toward me, coming from somewhere farther back in the building; he looked upset, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw me standing there. “Kenzie? What are you doing here?”
Still dazed, I feebly pointed where Keith had gone. “I was just…”
Words failed me as Felicia appeared from around the same corner that Hayden had just come from. Nikki’s comment, that they were in a meeting with Keith—who I had just been speaking to—flashed through my brain. White hot sparks of suspicion nearly blinded me. “Where were you?” I asked, looking back at him.
Hayden flicked his eyes Felicia’s way before answering my question. “Conference room.”
That was all he had time to say before Felicia was upon us. She never slowed her sauntering catwalk pace, and her bedroom eyes never left Hayden; I could almost see the smoky vapors rising off her seductive skin. Twisting her body so her breasts were facing Hayden, she edged her way between us. “Always a pleasure talking to you,” she murmured as she passed through the slim opening, brushing against Hayden in the process.
Right.
The heat in the hallway seemed to leave with Felicia. The air was so frigid, I was surprised I couldn’t see my breath. Hayden lifted his hands like he was facing a wild animal that might charge him at any moment. “That wasn’t what you’re thinking it was.”
Multiple scenarios flashed through my brain, none of them good. “I’m not thinking anything,” I murmured.
He gave me a disbelieving face. “Bull. You’re thinking I was alone with her because I wanted to be, and that’s not it at all.” His expression turned hard as he lowered his hands. “Fucking Keith. He called us in for a meeting, then left and never came back. He’s been doing that lately…it’s really starting to piss me off.”
Now that I knew about it, it was starting to piss me off too. “Oh,” I responded, my anger toward him diminishing, and my confusion toward Keith increasing. What was he playing at?
“What are you doing here?” he softly asked, clasping my hand in his.
My mind felt like Jell-O as I answered his question. “I was looking for you, and then…I ran into Keith…and he offered me a job.”
Hayden’s face looked just as shocked as I was sure mine had been. “What? A racing job? Really?”
Shaking my head, I frowned. “No, he said he couldn’t take on another rider, but he has something else for me. He said he would tell me at Daytona.”
A look passed over Hayden’s face that mirrored my own feelings—distrust. Even though Hayden held Keith in high regard, he understood that when it came to me and my father, all bets were off. That was what made all of this so odd. What the hell did Keith have in mind for me? Did I really want to go to Daytona to find out? Yes, I did. Because whatever he had in store, it had to be better than sitting at home, wishing I was still a part of the racing community. This would most likely bite me in the ass, but I had to see it through.
With a small, worried smile, Hayden agreed with my summation. “Well…at least you’ll be a part of the world again.”
Yes. But at what price?
***
CHAPTER 6
~Hayden~
I was still reeling from the news that Keith had given Kenzie a job, something he’d seemed adamantly against earlier, when Kenzie hit me with another bombshell—Antonia was in the hospital. We left as soon as she told me, and traveled straight to see her. Making that kid happy was far more important than racing against time on a clock.
Kenzie was in a state of shock. I could tell, because she didn’t try to beat me as we rode down the freeway. In some places, she even fell behind, and I had to slow down for her—something I’d never had to do before. I was worried, but I wasn’t sure what I should be worried about. The melancholy she could slip into so easily, the fact that Keith had caved and given her a job, and who knew what that job might be, or the fact that I was lying to her, more and more frequently it seemed.
Felicia was texting me all the fucking time now, and for some reason…I read every fucking message. The first few were just messages passed along from Keith—Felicia testing the water. The last few had nothing to do with our job. Please talk to me. I have so much to say. I’m so sorry. I miss you so much. That last one had come in while I’d been with Kenzie. Reading it had double-socked me with guilt and pain. She misses me? Well, she should have thought about that before she deserted me. I had someone else now, someone great, and I didn’t need her.
So why couldn’t I stop reading the messages? Curiosity? Was I looking for meaning in her texts? A reason she left, a reason she was back? Yes, I supposed it was closure I was seeking. I wanted to know why she’d bailed. But I knew enough about Felicia to know she’d never explain in a message. If I really wanted to know why she’d ran, I was going to have to have a sit-down conversation with her; she’d make sure of that. Because getting closure might lead to a reconciliation. That was how she saw it at least. And I was too worried she was right to test the theory. There was a lot of history there, and sometimes being around Felicia felt too…familiar. I didn’t want to put myself in that situation. I wanted to be with Kenzie.
Fuck. Kenzie. If she ever learned about the texts, if she ever figured out what was going on in my head, I’d have some serious explaining to do. Hopefully she’d be calm enough to listen. Hopefully I’d be able to come up with an excuse. Hopefully it never happened. Jesus. I was digging a hole around my feet so fast, it was only a matter of time before I fell inside it.
I forced myself to shove that worry aside when we got to the hospital. Antonia needed me to be strong, undistracted, the rock she relied on to come through for her. Izzy needed that too. And Kenzie, in a way. Kenzie and I held hands as we walked through the hallway. She looked lost in thought, and I couldn’t help stealing glances at her. She was going through so much, same as me, but different. She wasn’t being tormented by an ex-flame, but instead, she was being completely barred from what she loved. That last rejection had killed her, and when she’d fallen apart in my arms, instead of making her talk about it, I’d let her distract me with sex. I was screwing up so much lately, I couldn’t tell up from down anymore.
When we stepped inside Antonia’s hospital room, I had to stop and collect myself at the sight of her. Her hair was coming back, about an inch long now, but she looked so tiny and frail against the bed sheets, especially with the slim tube up her nose keeping her constantly fueled. I wanted to rip it out the second I saw it, but I knew it was serving a purpose, a very important one; I just hoped she wouldn’t have to have it for long.
Izzy spotted us standing there, and stood up to greet us with a hug. Antonia noticed us a second later, and gave me a huge, tired grin. “Uncle Hayden.”
Releasing Izzy, I walked over to Antonia’s bed. “Hey, Bookworm. Didn’t I say you weren’t allowed to come back here?” I said, mock sternness in my voice.
Antonia’s smile turned shy and amused. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay,” I said, kissing her head. “Just don’t let it happen again.”
She laughed, then sighed and closed her eyes. She looked exhausted, a sight I was all-too familiar with. While Kenzie sat on the bed on the other side of her, I looked back at Izzy. “How is she doing?”
/>
Izzy’s smile was almost as tired as her daughter’s. “Better. Both of us are better.” Her warm smile shifted to Kenzie. Kenzie had been there when Izzy needed her. Kenzie hadn’t abandoned her, and never would. That wasn’t her style.
Antonia dozed off and on for the next hour. I knew they’d kick us out sooner or later, but I really didn’t want to leave. Maybe I’d say I was her dad, pull up a chair, and sleep all night here. That really wouldn’t be fair to Kenzie though. She was making the best of the situation, reading a book to Antonia while she listened with drooping eyelids. She’d be out again in no time.
Izzy approached where I was standing by the sink, listening to Kenzie’s story. Gently, she tugged on my elbow. “Care to get some coffee with me?” she asked.
Kenzie paused, turned to smile at me, then resumed reading to Antonia. Kenzie probably didn’t realize it, but Izzy wasn’t a big coffee drinker. She wanted to talk to me alone, to spare Kenzie’s feelings, and that meant she wanted to talk about Felicia. Great.
“Sure, Iz,” I replied, a tight smile on my face.
Slight fingers wrapped around my elbow as Izzy walked us out the door and toward a coffee vending machine on the other end of the hallway. I sighed when we were well away from Antonia’s door, out of earshot. “What is it?”
Izzy was silent for a few more steps, then she said, “Kenzie told me you want to contact Tony.”
We arrived at the machine, and I separated us so I could look at her. “I said I was thinking about it. Big difference.”
Izzy smiled, but it looked sad to me. “I knew you’d change your mind. You always let your past back in…no matter how hard it hurts you.”
Studying her face, I slowly asked, “Are we still talking about Hookup?”
Her face scrunched in concern. “It took you three weeks to tell me Felicia was here. That she was working beside you every day. Why?”