I nervously began toying with my food and decided to say nothing. That was exactly what I’d been planning to do.
Something had changed. The hurt and confused Ren that made me feel guilty for rejecting him in Kishkindha was gone. He was now supremely confident, almost arrogant, and very sure of himself.
He kept his eyes on my face while he ate. When he finished all the food on his plate, he filled it again, scooping up at least half of every dish on the table.
I squirmed under his gaze and played with my food. He looked like the cat that had the canary or the student who had all the answers to the test before the teacher even told the class about it. He was disgustingly pleased with himself, and I sensed that there was much more to his newfound confidence than just getting time back as a man.
He seemed to know all my secret thoughts and feelings. His confidence set me on edge. I felt like I was backed into a corner.
“The answer to that question is . . . I won’t. You belong with me. Which leads me to the discussion I wanted to have with you.”
“Where I belong is for me to decide, and though I may listen to what you have to say, that doesn’t mean I will agree with you.”
“Fair enough.” Ren pushed his empty plate to the side. “We have some unfinished business to take care of.”
“If you mean the other tasks we have to do, I’m already aware of that.”
“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about us.”
“What about us?” I put my hands under the table and wiped my clammy palms on my napkin.
“I think there are a few things we’ve left unsaid, and I think it’s time we said them.”
“I’m not withholding anything from you, if that’s what you mean.”
“You are.”
“No. I’m not.”
“Are you refusing to acknowledge what has happened between us?”
“I’m not refusing anything. Don’t try to put words in my mouth.”
“I’m not. I’m simply trying to convince a stubborn woman to admit that she has feelings for me.”
“If I did have feelings for you, you’d be the first one to know.”
“Are you saying that you don’t feel anything for me?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“I’m saying . . . nothing!” I sputtered.
Ren smiled and narrowed his eyes at me.
If he kept up this line of questioning, he was bound to catch me in a lie. I’m not a very good liar.
He sat back in his chair. “Fine. I’ll let you off the hook for now, but we will talk about this later. Tigers are relentless once they set their minds to something. You won’t be able to evade me forever.”
Casually, I replied, “Don’t get your hopes up, Mr. Wonderful. Every hero has his Kryptonite, and you don’t intimidate me.” I twisted my napkin in my lap while he tracked my every move with his probing eyes. I felt stripped down, as if he could see into the very heart of me.
When the waitress came back, Ren smiled at her as she offered a smaller menu, probably featuring desserts. She leaned over him while I tapped my strappy shoe in frustration. He listened attentively to her. Then, the two of them laughed again.
He spoke quietly, gesturing to me, and she looked my way, giggled, and then cleared all the plates quickly. He pulled out a wallet and handed her a credit card. She put her hand on his arm to ask him another question, and I couldn’t help myself. I kicked him under the table. He didn’t even blink or look at me. He just reached his arm across the table, took my hand in his, and rubbed the back of it absentmindedly with his thumb as he answered her question. It was like my kick was a love tap to him. It only made him happier.
When she left, I narrowed my eyes at him and asked, “How did you get that card, and what were you saying to her about me?”
“Mr. Kadam gave me the card, and I told her that we would be having our dessert . . . later.”
I laughed facetiously. “You mean you will be having dessert later by yourself this evening because I am done eating with you.”
He leaned across the candlelit table and said, “Who said anything about eating, Kelsey?”
He must be joking! But, he looked completely serious. Great! There go the nervous butterflies again.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re hunting me. I’m not an antelope.”
He laughed. “Ah, but the chase would be exquisite, and you would be a most succulent catch.”
“Stop it.”
“Am I making you nervous?”
“You could say that.”
I stood up abruptly as he was signing the receipt and made my way toward the door. He was next to me in an instant. He leaned over.
“I’m not letting you escape, remember? Now, behave like a good date and let me walk you home. It’s the least you could do since you wouldn’t talk with me.”
Ren took my elbow and began to guide me out of the restaurant. I was acutely aware of him, and the thought that he was walking me back to my room and would most likely try to kiss me again sent shivers down my spine. For self-preservation purposes, I had to get away. Every minute I spent with him just made me want him more. Since merely annoying him wasn’t working, I’d have to up the ante.
Apparently, I needed him not only to fall out-of-like with me, but to hate me as well. I’d frequently been told that I was an all-or-nothing kind of girl. If I were going to push him away, it was going to be so far away that there would be absolutely no chance of him ever coming back.
I tried to wrench my elbow out of his grasp, but he just held on more tightly. I grumbled at him, “Stop using your tiger strength on me, Superman.”
“Am I hurting you?”
“No, but I’m not a puppet to be dragged around.”
He trailed his fingers down my arm and took my hand instead. “Then you play nice, and I will too.”
“Fine.”
He grinned. “Fine.”
I hissed back. “Fine!”
We walked to the elevator, and he pushed the button to my floor.
“My room is on the same floor,” Ren explained.
I scowled and then grinned lopsidedly and just a little bit evilly, “And umm, how exactly is that going to work for you in the morning, Tiger? You really shouldn’t get Mr. Kadam in trouble for having a rather large . . . pet.”
Ren returned my sarcasm as he walked me to my door. “Are you worried about me, Kells? Well, don’t. I’ll be fine.”
“I guess there’s no point in asking how you knew which door belonged to me, huh, Tiger Nose?”
He looked at me in a way that turned my insides to jelly. I spun around but awareness of him shot through my limbs, and I could feel him standing close behind me watching, waiting.
I put my key in the lock, and he moved closer. My hand started shaking, and I couldn’t twist the key the right way. He took my hand and gently turned me around. He then put both hands on the door on either side of my head and leaned in close, pinning me against it. I trembled like a downy rabbit caught in the clutches of a wolf. The wolf came closer. He bent his head and began nuzzling my cheek. The problem was . . . I wanted the wolf to devour me.
I began to get lost in the thick sultry fog that overtook me every time Ren put his hands on me.
So much for asking for permission . . . and so much for sticking to my guns, I thought as I felt all my defenses slip away.
He whispered warmly, “I can always tell where you are, Kelsey. You smell like peaches and cream.”
I shivered and put my hands on his chest to push him away, but I ended up grabbing fistfuls of shirt and held on for dear life. He trailed kisses from my ear down my cheek and then pressed soft kisses along the arch of my neck. I pulled him closer and turned my head so he could really kiss me. He smiled and ignored my invitation, moving instead to the other ear. He bit my earlobe lightly, moved from th
ere to my collarbone, and trailed kisses out to my shoulder. Then he lifted his head and brought his lips about one inch from mine and the only thought in my head was . . . more.
With a devastating smile, he reluctantly pulled away and lightly ran his fingers through the strands of my hair. “By the way, I forgot to mention that you look beautiful tonight.” He smiled again then turned and strolled off down the hall.
Tiny quakes vibrated through my limbs like aftershocks following an earthquake. I couldn’t steady my hand as I twisted the key. I shoved open the door to my dark room, entered, and shakily closed it behind me. Leaning back against the door, I let the darkness envelop me.
24
endings
the next morning, I quickly packed up all my things and waited for Mr. Kadam. I sat in the easy chair, nervously tapping my foot back and forth. Last night had convinced me that I needed to do something about Ren. His presence was overwhelming.
I knew that if I spent any more time with him, he would persuade me to become serious about him, and I absolutely could not allow that.
I would end up crushed. Oh, it would be great for a while. Really, really great. But, it would never last. He was an Adonis, and I was no Helen of Troy. We’d never make it. I had to be realistic and to take control of my life again. I decided that when we got back to the house, he and I would have a woman-to-tiger talk.
Then, if he still wouldn’t give up, I’d just go home as Mr. Kadam had suggested. Maybe distance would help. Maybe Ren just needed time apart from me to realize that a relationship between us would be a mistake. With that resolve, I braced myself to see him again as we left the hotel.
I waited a long time for Mr. Kadam. I was almost ready to call his room, when, finally, there was a knock at the door. Mr. Kadam stood there alone.
“Are you ready, Miss Kelsey? I’m sorry that we’re getting such a late start.”
“It’s okay. Mr. Wonderful was probably taking his sweet time, right?”
“No, it was actually my fault this morning. I was busy with . . . paperwork.”
“Oh. Well, that’s alright. Don’t worry about it. What kind of paperwork?”
He smiled. “Nothing important.”
Mr. Kadam held the door for me, and we walked out into an empty hallway. I was just starting to relax at the elevator doors when I heard a hotel room door close. Ren walked down the hall toward us. He’d purchased new clothes. Of course, he looked wonderful. I took a step back from the elevator and tried to avoid eye contact.
Ren wore a brand new pair of dark-indigo, purposely faded, urban-destruction designer jeans. His shirt was a long-sleeved, buttoned-down, crisp, oxford-style and was obviously of high quality. It was blue with thin white stripes that matched his eyes perfectly. He’d rolled up the sleeves and left his shirt untucked and open at the collar. It was also an athletic cut, so it fit tightly to his muscular torso, which made me suck in an involuntary breath in appreciation of his male splendor.
He looks like a runway model. How in the world am I going to be able to reject that? The world is so unfair. Seriously, it’s like turning Brad Pitt down for a date. The girl who could actually do it should win an award for idiot of the century.
I again quickly ran through my list of reasons for not being with Ren and said a few “He’s not for me’s.” The good thing about seeing his mouthwatering self and watching him walk around like a regular person was that it tightened my resolve. Yes. It would be hard because he was so unbelievably gorgeous, but it was now even more obvious to me that we didn’t belong together.
As he joined us at the elevator, I shook my head and muttered under my breath, “Figures. The guy is a tiger for three hundred and fifty years and emerges from his curse with expensive taste and keen fashion sense too. Incredible!”
Mr. Kadam asked, “What was that, Miss Kelsey?”
“Nothing.”
Ren raised an eyebrow and smirked.
He probably heard me. Stupid tiger hearing.
The elevator doors opened. I stepped in and moved to the corner hoping to keep Mr. Kadam between the two of us, but unfortunately, Mr. Kadam wasn’t receiving the silent thoughts I was projecting furiously toward him and remained by the elevator buttons. Ren moved next to me and stood too close. He looked me up and down slowly and gave me a knowing smile. We rode down the elevator in silence.
When the doors opened, he stopped me, took the backpack off my shoulder, and threw it over his, leaving me with nothing to carry. He walked ahead next to Mr. Kadam while I trailed along slowly behind, keeping distance between us and a wary eye on his tall frame.
In the car, Mr. Kadam did enough talking for all three of us. He was so excited that Ren could be a man again. It must have been a great relief for him. In a way, Mr. Kadam was just as cursed as Ren and Kishan. He couldn’t ever have a life of his own. Focusing his time and attention on serving the brothers had become his only purpose in life. He was as much of a slave to the tigers as they were to the curse.
The thought occurred to me that I was in danger of becoming a slave to a tiger as well. Hah! I’d probably like it too. I rolled my eyes at the thought. I disgust myself. I’m so darn weak! I hated the idea that all he’d have to do was crook his finger at me, beckon me to come to him, and I probably would. The fiercely independent side of me flared up. That’s it! No more! I’m going to talk it all out with him when we get back and hope that we can still be friends.
This was pretty much my line of thought for the entire trip home. I’d daydream and then stop, lecture myself, and repeat my stubborn mantra. I tried to read, but I kept rereading the same paragraph over and over. Eventually, I gave up and napped a little.
We finally got back late in the evening. I took one look at Ren’s beautifully lit-up dream home and sighed deeply. It felt like home to me. It would be very hard to leave it when the time came, and I had a sinking feeling that the time would come all too soon.
Even though I had napped some during the ride, I figured that I should try to get some rest. I forced myself to stop agonizing over my choice and brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas. I carefully took Fanindra out of my backpack. Placing a small pillow on the nightstand, I arranged Fanindra’s hard, coiled body as comfortably as I could with her head facing the view of the pool. If I were a frozen snake, that would be what I’d like to look at.
Next, I took out the gada and the Golden Fruit. Wrapping the Golden Fruit in a soft towel, I put it and the gada in my dresser drawer. Looking at the fruit, I realized that I was hungry. I wanted a midnight snack, but I was too lazy to go downstairs to get one. I tucked the fruit in the drawer. I’d have to remember to ask Mr. Kadam to lock up the Fruit and the gada with Ren’s family Seal, wherever that was. We needed to be sure it was safe.
As I crawled into bed, I noticed a small plate of crackers and cheese with sliced apples on the nightstand next to Fanindra. I hadn’t noticed it before.
Huh. Mr. Kadam must have snuck the plate in when I was in the bathroom.
Grateful for his thoughtfulness, I ate my snack and then turned out the lights. Sleep wouldn’t come. My mind wouldn’t let me rest. I was afraid to face Ren the next day. I was afraid that I couldn’t say what needed to be said. I finally drifted off at about four in the morning and slept till noon.
I took my time getting up, which turned out to be the next afternoon. I knew I was avoiding Ren and our discussion, but I didn’t care. I took my time showering and dressing. By the time I mustered the courage to go downstairs, my stomach was grumbling from hunger pains.
I crept down the stairs and heard someone puttering in the kitchen. Relieved it must be Mr. Kadam, I turned the corner and, to my dismay, found Ren, all alone, trying to make a sandwich. He had sandwich fixings spread all over the kitchen. Every vegetable in the refrigerator and almost every condiment were set out on the counter. He was standing there, deep in thought, trying to figure out if he should use ketchup or chili sauce on his turkey and eggplant sandwich. He had tied
on one of Mr. Kadam’s aprons, and it was smeared with mustard. Despite my attempt to be quiet, I giggled.
He smiled but kept his attention on his sandwich. “I heard you get up. Took your sweet time coming downstairs. I thought you might be hungry and came down to make you a sandwich.”
I laughed acerbically, “Ugh, not one of those. I’ll take a peanut butter.”
“Okay. Umm, which one of these jars is peanut butter?”
He pointed to a group of condiments. He’d separated all the bottles, placing the ones labeled in English to one side and keeping everything else near him.
Bemused, I approached him. “You can’t read English, can you?”
He scowled. “No. I can read about fifteen other languages and speak about thirty, but I can’t figure out what these bottles are.”
I smirked at him. “If you smelled it, you’d probably figure it out, Tiger Nose.”
He looked up, grinned, then set down both bottles, walked over to me, and kissed me right on the mouth.
“See? That’s why I need to have you around. I need a smart girlfriend.”
He went back to his sandwich and started opening bottles and smelling them.
I sputtered, “Ren! I am not your girlfriend!”
He just grinned at me in response, located the peanut butter, and made me the thickest peanut butter sandwich I’d ever seen. I took one bite and couldn’t open my mouth. “Weenn, hobouutssomme mlkk uff datte?”
He laughed. “What?”
“Ilkk, illlkk!” I mimed drinking something.
“Oh, milk! Okay, hold on a sec.”
He had to open every cupboard in the kitchen to locate a cup, and, naturally, they were in the last cupboard he chose. He poured me a frothy glass, and I drained half of it immediately to clear the sticky peanut butter out of my mouth. Pulling the slices of bread apart, I chose the one with the least amount of peanut butter, folded it in half, and ate that instead.
Ren sat down across from me with the biggest, strangest looking sandwich on the planet and dug in. I blinked at it and laughed. “You’re eating a Dagwood.”
“What’s a Dagwood?”