“A giant sandwich named after a comic strip character.”
He grunted and took another big bite. I decided it was a good time to talk when he couldn’t talk back.
“Umm, Ren? We have something important we need to discuss. Meet me on the veranda at sundown, okay?”
He froze with his sandwich halfway to his mouth. “A secret rendezvous? On the veranda? At sundown?” He arched an eyebrow at me. “Why, Kelsey, are you trying to seduce me?”
“Hardly,” I dryly muttered.
He laughed, “Well, I’m all yours. But be gentle with me tonight, fair maiden. I’m new at this whole being human business.”
Exasperated, I threw out, “I am not your fair maiden.”
He ignored my comment and went back to devouring his lunch. He also took the other half of my discarded peanut butter sandwich and ate that too, commenting, “Hey! This stuff’s pretty good.”
Finished, I walked over to the kitchen island and began clearing away Ren’s mess. When he was done eating, he stood to help me. We worked well together. It was almost like we knew what the other person was going to do before he or she did it. The kitchen was spotless in no time. Ren took off his apron and threw it into the laundry basket. Then, he came up behind me while I was putting away some glasses and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me up against him.
He smelled my hair, kissed my neck, and murmured softly in my ear, “Mmm, definitely peaches and cream, but with a hint of spice. I’ll go be a tiger for a while and take a nap, and then I can save all my hours for you this evening.”
I grimaced. He was probably expecting a make-out session, and I was planning to break up with him. He wanted to spend time with a girlfriend, and my intention was to explain to him how we weren’t meant to be together. Not that we were ever officially together. Still, it felt like a break up.
Why does this have to be so hard?
Ren rocked me and whispered, “‘How silver-sweet sound lovers’ tongues by night, Like soft music to attending ears.’”
I turned around in his arms, shocked. “How did you remember that? That’s Romeo and Juliet!”
He shrugged. “I paid attention when you were reading it to me. I liked it.”
He gently kissed my cheek. “See you tonight, iadala,” and left me standing there.
The rest of the afternoon, I couldn’t focus on anything. Nothing held my attention for more than a few minutes. I rehearsed some sentences in front of the mirror, but they all sounded pretty lame to me: “It’s not you, it’s me,” “There are plenty of other fish in the sea,” “I need to find myself,” “Our differences are too big,” “I’m not the one,” “There’s someone else.” Heck, I even tried “I’m allergic to cats.”
None of the excuses I came up with would work with Ren. I decided the best thing to do was be straightforward with him, and tell him the truth. That’s who I was. I faced things, got on with the hard parts, and moved on with life.
Mr. Kadam was gone all day. The Jeep was missing. I was hoping that he’d be around to distract me a little bit, maybe give me some advice, but he was MIA.
Sundown came too quickly, and I nervously headed upstairs. I walked in the bathroom, took out my braids, and brushed out my hair until it fell down my back in loose waves. I put on some lip gloss and eyeliner and then searched through my closet for something nicer to wear than a T-shirt. Apparently, someone had been adding designer clothing to my wardrobe. I came out with a mulberry, small-scale, plaid, cotton blouse trimmed in black silk, and some slim-leg black pants cropped at the ankles.
The charitable thing to do would be to make myself as homely looking as possible, which would probably make it much easier on him, but I didn’t want his parting memories of me to be that I was a frumpy mess dressed in tomboy clothes.
I do have some feminine pride after all. I still want him to squirm. At least a little.
Satisfied with my appearance, I passed Fanindra, patted her head, and asked her to wish me luck. I slid open the glass door and stepped outside. The air was warm and fragrant with the scent of jasmine and the woodsy aroma of the jungle. I watched the sun dip down below the horizon, leaving the sky carnation pink and clementine orange. The pool and fountain lights clicked on below as I sat back on the cushioned patio loveseat and rocked gently, enjoying the balmy, sweet-smelling breeze as it wafted over my skin.
I sighed and spoke aloud, “The only thing missing is one of those fruity, tropical drinks with pineapple, cherries, and an umbrella.” Something fizzed next to me on a side table. It was a curved, frosty glass containing a cold red-orange fruit drink, complete with umbrella and cherries! I picked it up to see if it was real. It was. I sipped it cautiously, and the bubbly sweet juice was perfect.
Something weird is going on. Nobody else is here, so how did this drink get here?
Right then, Ren appeared, and I forgot all about my mysterious beverage. He was barefoot, dressed in a black slacks with a thin belt and a sea-green silk shirt. His hair was damp, and he’d brushed it back away from his face. He sat down beside me on the loveseat and snuck his arm around my shoulders. He smelled fantastic. That warm summery sandalwood scent of his mixed with the jasmine.
That’s got to be what heaven smells like.
Ren propped his foot up on a side table and started to rock us back and forth. He seemed content to just sit, relax, and enjoy the breeze and sunset, so we stayed that way for a while, sitting comfortably together for several minutes. It was nice. Maybe we could still be friends like this afterward. I hoped so. I liked his companionship.
He reached over and took my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. He toyed with my fingers for a while, then brought my hand up to his lips and kissed them slowly, one by one.
“What did you want to talk about tonight, Kelsey?”
“Uh . . .” What the heck did I want to talk about? For the life of me, I couldn’t remember. Oh yeah. I shook off my reaction to him and braced myself.
“Ren, I would kind of prefer it if you would sit across from me so I can see you. You’re a little less distracting from over there.”
He laughed at me. “Okay, Kells. Whatever you say.”
He slid a chair across from me and then sat down. Leaning over, he picked up my foot and brought it up to his lap.
I twitched my leg. “What are you doing?”
“Relax. You seem tense.” He began massaging my foot. I started to protest, but he just gave me a look.
He twisted my foot one way and then another. “You have blisters all over your feet. We need to get you better shoes if you’re going to be hiking in the jungle this often.”
“The hiking boots gave me blisters too. It probably doesn’t matter what shoes you get me. I’ve been hiking more in the last few weeks than I have my entire life. My feet aren’t used to it.”
He frowned and softly traced my arch with his finger, which shot tingly sensations up my leg. Then he wrapped his hands around my foot and started massaging, being careful to avoid any tender places. I was going to object again, but it felt good. Besides, it could be a good distraction during an uncomfortable conversation, so I let him continue. I glanced at his face. He was studying me curiously.
What was I thinking? I thought him sitting across from me would make it easier. Stupid me! Now I have to stare right at the warrior archangel and try to stay focused. I closed my eyes for a minute. Come on, Kells. Focus. Focus. You can do this!
“Okay, Ren, there really is something that we need to discuss.”
“Alright. Go ahead.”
I blew out a breath. “You see, I can’t . . . reciprocate your feelings. Or your, umm, affections.”
He laughed. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, what I mean is, I—”
He leaned forward and spoke in a low voice, full of meaning, “Kelsey, I know you reciprocate my feelings. Don’t pretend anymore that you don’t have them.”
When did he figure all this out? Maybe when you wer
e kissing him like an idiot, Kells. I’d hoped that I’d fooled him, but he could see right through me. I decided to play dumb and pretend I didn’t know what he was talking about.
I waved my hand in the air. “Okay! Yes! I admit that I’m attracted to you.”
Who wouldn’t be?
“But it won’t work out,” I finished. There, it was out.
Ren looked confused. “Why not?”
“Because I’m too attracted to you.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying. How can your being attracted to me be a problem? I would think that’s a good thing.”
“For normal people . . . it is,” I stated.
“So I’m not normal?”
“No. Let me explain it this way. It’s like this . . . a starving man would gladly eat a radish, right? In fact, a radish would be a feast if that’s all he had. But if he had a buffet in front of him, the radish would never be chosen.”
Ren paused a moment. “I don’t get it. What are you saying?”
“I’m saying . . . I’m the radish.”
“And what am I? The buffet?”
I tried to explain it further. “No . . . you’re the man. Now . . . I don’t really want to be the radish. I mean, who does? But I’m grounded enough to know what I am, and I am not a buffet. I mean, you could be having chocolate éclairs, for heaven’s sake.”
“But not radishes.”
“No.”
“What . . .” Ren paused thoughtfully, “if I like radishes?”
“You don’t. You don’t know any better. I’m also really sorry that I’ve been so rude to you. I’m not normally. I don’t know where all the sarcasm comes from.”
Ren raised an eyebrow.
“Okay. I have a cynical, evil side that is normally hidden. But when I’m under great stress or extremely desperate, it comes out.”
He set down my foot, picked up the other one, and began massaging it with his thumbs. He didn’t say anything, so I continued, “Being coldhearted and nasty was the only thing I could do to push you away. It was kind of a defense mechanism.”
“So you admit you were trying to push me away.”
“Yes. Of course.”
“And it’s because you’re a radish.”
Frustrated, I said, “Yes! Now that you’re a man again, you’ll find someone better for you, someone who complements you. It’s not your fault. I mean, you’ve been a tiger so long that you just don’t know how the world works.”
“Right. And how does the world work, Kelsey?”
I could hear the frustration in his voice but pressed on. “Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but you could be going out with some supermodel-turned-actress. Haven’t you been paying attention?”
Angrily, he shouted, “Oh, yes, indeed I am paying attention! What you are saying is that I should be a stuck-up, rich, shallow, libertine who cares only about wealth, power, and bettering my status. That I should date superficial, fickle, pretentious, brainless women who care more about my connections than they do about me. And that I am not wise enough, or up-to-date enough, to know who I want or what I want in life! Does that about sum it up?”
I squeaked out a small, “Yes.”
“You truly feel this way?”
I flinched. “Yes.” Ren leaned forward. “Well, you’re wrong, Kelsey. Wrong about yourself and wrong about me!”
He was livid. I shifted uncomfortably while he went on.
“I know what I want. I’m not operating under any delusions. I’ve studied people from a cage for centuries, and that’s given me ample time to figure out my priorities. From the first moment I saw you, the first time I heard your voice, I knew you were different. You were special. The first time you reached your hand into my cage and touched me, you made me feel alive in a way I’ve never felt before.”
“Maybe it’s all just a part of the curse. Did you ever think of that? Maybe these aren’t your true feelings. Maybe you sensed that I was the one to help you, and you’ve somehow misinterpreted your emotions.”
“I highly doubt it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, even before the curse.”
This was not going the way I wanted it to. I felt a desperate need to escape before I said something that would screw up my plans. Ren was the dark side, the forbidden fruit, my personal Delilah—the ultimate temptation. The question was . . . could I resist?
I gave his knee a friendly pat and played my trump card . . . “I’m leaving.”
“You’re what?”
“I’m going home to Oregon. Mr. Kadam thinks it will be safer for me anyway, with Lokesh out there looking to kill us and all. Besides, you need time to figure out . . . stuff.”
“If you’re leaving, then I’m going with you!”
I smiled at him wryly. “That kind of defeats the purpose of me leaving. Don’t you think?”
He slicked back his hair, let out a deep breath, then took my hand and looked intently into my eyes. “Kells, when are you going to accept the fact that we belong together?”
I felt sick, like I was kicking a faithful puppy who only wanted to be loved. I looked out at the pool.
After a moment, he sat back scowling and said menacingly, “I won’t let you leave.”
Inside, I desperately wanted to take his hand and beg him to forgive me, to love me, but I steeled myself, dropped my hands in my lap, then implored, “Ren, please. You have to let me go. I need . . . I’m afraid . . . look, I just can’t be here, near you, when you change your mind.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
“It might. There’s a good chance.”
He growled angrily. “There’s no chance!”
“Well, my heart can’t take that risk, and I don’t want to put you in what can only be an awkward position. I’m sorry, Ren. I really am. I do want to be your friend, but I understand if you don’t want that. Of course, I’ll return when you need me, if you need me, to help you find the other three gifts. I wouldn’t abandon you or Kishan in that way. I just can’t stay here with you feeing obligated to pity-date me because you need me. But I’d never abandon your cause. I’ll always be there for you both, no matter what.”
He spat out, “Pity-date! You? Kelsey, you can’t be serious!”
“I am. Very, very serious. I’ll ask Mr. Kadam to make arrangements to send me back in the next few days.”
He didn’t say another word. He just sat back in his chair. I could tell he was fuming mad, but I felt that, after a week or two, when he started getting back out in the world, he would come to appreciate my gesture.
I looked away from him. “I’m very tired now. I’d like to go to bed.” I got up and headed to my room. Before I closed the sliding door, I asked, “Can I make one last request?”
He sat there tight-lipped, his arms folded over his chest, with a tense, angry face.
I sighed. Even infuriated he was beautiful.
He said nothing so I went on, “It would be a lot easier on me if I didn’t see you, I mean as a man. I’ll try to avoid most of the house. It is yours after all, so I’ll stay in my room. If you see Mr. Kadam, please tell him I’d like to speak with him.”
He didn’t respond.
“Well, good-bye, Ren. Take care of yourself.” I tore my eyes away from him, shut the door, and drew the curtains.
Take care of yourself? That was a lame good-bye. Tears welled in my eyes and blurred my vision. I was proud that I’d gotten through it without showing emotion. But, now, I felt like a steamroller had come along and flattened me.
I couldn’t breathe. I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower to drown out any sounds. I closed the door, which trapped all the steam inside, and sobbed. Gut-wrenching spasms shook my body. My eyes, nose, and mouth all leaked simultaneously as I allowed myself to feel the empty despair of loss.
I slumped to the floor and then slid down even farther until I was sprawled out on it with my cheek resting on the cool marble. I let my emotions overtake me until I was completely sp
ent. My limbs felt lifeless and dull, and my hair frizzed up and stuck to the wet tears on my face.
Much later, I got up slowly, turned off the now-cold shower, washed my face, and climbed into bed. Thoughts of Ren ran through my mind again, and silent tears started streaming once more. I actually thought about putting Fanindra on my pillow and cuddling her. That was how desperate I was for comfort. I cried myself to sleep, hoping that I would feel better the next day.
I again slept in late the next day and got up feeling hungry and numb. I was emotionally exhausted. I didn’t want to risk going downstairs to get something to eat. I didn’t want to run into Ren. I sat on the bed, pulled my knees up to my chest, and wondered what to do.
I decided to write in my journal. Pouring all my jumbled thoughts and emotions onto its pages helped me feel a bit better. My stomach growled.
I wish I had some of Mr. Kadam’s berry crepes.
Something moved at the corner of my vision. I turned and saw a breakfast laid out for me on the little table. I walked over to inspect it. Crepes with triple berries! My mouth fell open in shock.
That’s just too convenient.
I suddenly remembered that fizzing juice that I had tasted last night. When I wanted something to drink, it had appeared.
I decided to test these strange phenomena. I said out loud, “I would also like some chocolate milk.” A tall cold glass of chocolate milk materialized out of nowhere. This time, I decided to try to think something.
I wish I had a new pair of shoes.
Nothing happened. I voiced, “I wish I had a new pair of shoes.” Still nothing.
Maybe it only works with food. I thought, I would like a strawberry milkshake.
A tall glass appeared, full to the brim with a thick strawberry milkshake topped with whipped cream and a sliced strawberry.
What is doing this? The gada? Fanindra? Durga? The Fruit? The Fruit! The Golden Fruit of India! Mr. Kadam had said that through the Golden Fruit, the people of India would be fed. The Golden Fruit provided food! I took the fruit out of the drawer and held it in my hand as I wished for something else.
“A . . . radish, please.”
The fruit shimmered and glowed like a golden diamond, and a radish appeared in my free hand. I examined it thoughtfully and then chucked it in my trash can.