“I want to talk with you more about this passage of Scripture. I want you to know what the Bible has to say about Jesus Christ in the weeks to come. But before I run out of time, I must stop and ask you this: When was the last time you talked to Jesus Christ as Nicodemus did?
“We can’t stand face to face with Jesus as he was able to do, but let me tell you, friends, we can talk to Christ as though He were in the room. I’m referring to prayer. Maybe you think praying is just for preachers, but I assure you it’s not. God wants to hear from each and every one of you. First, He wants to hear you pray and give yourself to Him, or as Jesus said to be ‘born again,’ as we must do if we want to have eternal life. Then He wants to hear you praise Him and share your every need.
“I’m going to close with my favorite verses in all of Scripture, and they are in the same passage we are in today. John 3:16 and 17 say, ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved.’
“If there is any doubt in your mind as to what those verses mean, please come and see me. Don’t let another day pass without settling your eternity. You can know this Jesus Christ as your own personal Lord and Savior.”
The congregation was dismissed with a song and then a brief prayer. Sean and Charlie stood and moved toward the door of the church. Sean was unsure what type of welcome he would receive, and afraid that if Charlie saw him rebuffed it would only confirm her belief that some of these people were hypocrites. Sean knew from firsthand experience that born-again Christians were not perfect, and he understood that they might be quite hesitant to associate with a convicted bank robber.
Sean convinced himself that leaving quickly was the best answer to protecting his wife’s feelings. They were halfway to the buggy when Duncan called out. Sean and Charlie both turned to see Visalia’s sheriff and his wife approaching, each wearing huge smiles of welcome.
twenty-eight
It’s great to see you here, Sean.” Duncan spoke softy while Lora took Charlie over to meet her daughter and grandson.
“It’s great to be here,” Sean cheerfully replied, grabbing Duncan’s hand.
“How are things going at home and in the livery?”
“Unbelievably. Charlotte treats me like a king.”
Duncan nodded. “I knew you would do well together. I’m sure you’ve caught on that her growing-up years were not easy.”
“She doesn’t share much, but it’s obvious.”
“Have you had a chance to talk about spiritual things?”
“Not really. I mean, she’s somewhat open when we talk, but I think she’s afraid to ask too many questions; fearful of intruding into my past. And I’m wary of pushing her and saying too much.”
“I can understand that. We’ll keep praying, Sean.”
“Thanks, Duncan. I want you to know that my main prayer is that Charlotte will come to Christ. God has already answered so many prayers in my life, so quickly, and I really do understand that oftentimes He asks us to wait. I was saved from hanging, and just minutes later I was married. Now in a very short time I’ve come to care deeply for my wife.
“My deepest desire is that Charlotte will be saved and we’ll go to Hawaii someday to continue the mission work there. It’s not going to happen overnight, like it has so far, but God is sufficient, and I know that in His time, we’ll be wherever He leads.”
Duncan reached out and touched the younger man’s shoulder. He seemed unable to speak, and Sean, who turned to watch his wife some ten yards away, was glad for the silence.
Sean lay in bed Sunday night and reflected on the day. There had been nothing but handshakes and smiles of welcome from the pastor and the rest of the congregation. Duncan and Lora had even asked them to dinner, but Charlie had explained with visible regret that her Aunt Sadie was expecting them.
Lora, in her gracious, unpretentious manner, simply asked the Donovans to come the following week, and Charlie had quickly accepted. Sean wondered if anyone had ever tried to reach out to Charlie in the past, or if someone had tried and been rejected. He also wondered how much of this she was doing for him. He felt grateful over this thought, but also prayed that Charlie would soon have an interest in eternal issues.
For the first time he understood the way his sister must have felt as she watched him grow harder and harder toward God. Kaitlin had known that Sean’s eternity was secure, while Sean didn’t have the same assurance about Charlie’s, but that wouldn’t stop the ache, the longing, to have your loved one walk in the way of the Lord.
Sean fell asleep thinking about his father. Had he ever made it back to Santa Rosa? Evidently not, since Katie hadn’t even mentioned him in her letter. Sean tried not to read anything into that, but he knew in an instant that he was not completely over his anger. Within seconds his mind was immersed in his painful past. How long would Father stay away? How long before he would see that his family needed him? How long before things could be patched up between father and son?
If only we could be in touch, even in a letter. Those were Sean’s last thoughts before he remembered he’d written back to his sister just that evening and asked about Father. Now all he could do was wait, or hope that Marcail’s letter would arrive with some news.
“Do you believe what that preacher said on Sunday about prayer?”
Sean sighed with relief over the question. Charlie had been very quiet since Sunday morning, and Sean simply didn’t know how to ask her what she was thinking. It was Wednesday, and they were relaxing in the living room of their small home as the sun sank low in the sky.
“Yes, I believe it. Is there something in particular you’re questioning?”
Charlie looked embarrassed and then quietly admitted, “I’m not really sure there’s even Someone up there, let alone talking as though God was in the same room with me.”
“Why don’t you think God exists?”
Charlie shrugged. “He never answered my prayers when I was young, so I knew He wasn’t there and just stopped praying.”
Sean wasn’t sure what to say. He believed that God’s will was perfect, even when it hurt, but how did you explain that to someone whose faith was nonexistent?
“What types of things did you pray about?” Sean felt he had picked a safe question and was certain when a smile came over his wife’s face.
“I wanted a pony of my very own,” Charlie sighed. “All the horses were always so big for me, and I wanted one I could mount and ride on my own. But a pony wouldn’t have been an asset to the business, so Grandpa said no.”
Sean was quiet, hoping that she would continue. He never suspected that his feelings, already very protective, would forever deepen in their intensity.
“I also asked God to make my grandfather stop hitting me.” Charlie didn’t look at Sean as she continued, “It seemed that I couldn’t do anything right when I was growing up, and Grandpa’s answer was always an openhanded blow. Sadie said it wasn’t me, that he was just like that. He used to slap her all the time too.
“Sadie also believes that he hit my mother so hard that she died having me. My mother would never tell him who my father was, and even though she’d always been his favorite child, Grandpa wouldn’t forgive her.
“Sadie married Harry just to get away from Grandpa, and they had a good life together. They even tried to take me in, but Grandpa fell in love with my red hair. Even though he acted like he hated me half of the time, he wouldn’t let me go.”
Charlie had stared out the window for this emotionless recital, and Sean couldn’t take his eyes from her. How could anyone have mistreated this girl? How could anyone have laid a violent hand on this woman? They were sharing the sofa, and an instant later, Sean, overcome with his newfound emotions, covered the distance that separated them and took his wife in his arms.
Charlie whispered in his ear as she let hi
m hold her close, “I’m all right, Sean.”
“Well, I’m not,” he whispered back and settled her head more comfortably on his shoulder. “I’m not going to let anyone else hurt you.”
His hold was almost crushing her, but Charlie didn’t resist. After a few moments she sighed, “It was all a long time ago.” She sounded very reasonable. “You are really too sensitive, you know, and I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
Sean didn’t answer. He pressed his lips to her forehead and his arms tightened slightly. Charlie turned her head to look up into his face, glad that she was once again without her hat. Sean’s eyes traveled caressingly over her features and emotions flooded through him, ranging from fierce protectiveness to tender desire.
He realized in that instant that he was truly in love with this woman. He ached to declare his love for her, but a tiny fear of rejection lingered in his mind. The desire to kiss her was overpowering, and almost of its own volition his head began to lower. His lips were just a breath away from Charlie’s when a knock sounded at the front door.
Sean drew back reluctantly. He rose from the sofa, but the look of longing on his wife’s face made him sit back down and reach for her. The knock sounded again.
“Later,” Sean said in a strained voice as he once again pulled away. “We’ll finish this later.”
The sun was still casting an orange glow in the sky as Sean answered the summons at the door. There wasn’t much light, and the man at the door was now a stranger, but Sean knew him. His face was older, and he looked thinner than the boy of 14 remembered, but Sean would have known his father anywhere.
twenty-nine
Patrick felt as if the air had been knocked from his body at the sight of his son. He had left a frightened 14-year-old boy and come back to find a man, strong of limb and features. In fact, he felt like he was looking at a younger version of himself.
“Hello, Sean.” The older man spoke softly.
Sean was silent as he moved back and held the door for his father to enter. Patrick stepped across the threshold and stood with his hat in his hand. Sean made no move to touch him, and the two men stood in the lantern light eyeing one another. Sean wished he could say just one of the things he had rehearsed while he waited for this man. Patrick was also quiet, not wanting to say anything that might drive an even bigger wedge between them.
Charlie, curious about the silence in the kitchen, came from the living room and stood beside her husband. Patrick’s gaze swung to the small redhead and he smiled in relief.
“You must be Charlotte?” he guessed. Setting his small bag down, Patrick held out his hand. Charlie was quick to offer her hand to this stranger, having weighed the situation up in an instant. “I’m Patrick Donovan, Sean’s father.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Charlie offered sincerely.
“How did you know this was Charlotte?” Sean asked, speaking his first words.
“I was just in Santa Rosa for a visit, and then I was at your aunt’s with plans to sail when Rigg showed up with your letter.”
“This is your first visit back then?”
“No, actually it isn’t,” Patrick said somewhat reluctantly. “I was back two years ago, but when I arrived in Santa Rosa, Katie told me I’d missed you by about six weeks.”
“Six weeks,” Sean said the words in a stunned whisper as pain crowded in around his chest. After a moment he seemed to mentally shake himself. “Well, come in and have a seat. Are you hungry?”
“Thank you, no.”
Once in the living room, Charlie and Sean took the sofa and Patrick took the chair. Again silence prevailed.
“Was it a rough trip over from San Francisco?” asked Charlie.
“Not bad,” Patrick smiled at his daughter-in-law for the lifeline she had tossed him. “This is hot country over here, but I met some interesting people.”
“You came by train?”
“For the most part. It’s a good way to see the area.” The remark sounded ridiculous even to his own ears, but nothing else came to mind.
“I’ve never been on a train,” Charlie continued, thinking that the elder Mr. Donovan looked rather lost.
She wished that Sean would get involved in the conversation. He was sitting ramrod straight, his eyes taking in Charlie and his father with measured glances. Sean’s face, Charlie noted, gave away none of his feelings. Charlie talked with her father-in-law for the better part of an hour before he rose.
“Well, it’s been good visiting with you, but it’s getting late. If you could point me in the direction of the hotel, I’ll go get a room for the night.” He tried to keep the disappointment from his voice.
“You don’t need to stay at the hotel,” Charlie said as she and Sean both stood. “We don’t really have room for you, but my aunt runs a boardinghouse and I know she’d be glad to have you. It’s very clean, and you would have your own room.”
“Well, if you’re sure it wouldn’t be an imposition.”
“I’m sure. Sean and I can walk you over.”
It was a silent threesome that made their way to Sadie’s. Sean stood with his father in the kitchen while Charlie went in search of Sadie.
“Sadie is very hospitable,” Sean told his father. “Don’t hesitate to ask for whatever you need.”
“I won’t.”
Again the heavy silence fell.
“I smith for Charlotte at the livery,” Sean began again. “I have to work tomorrow, but you’re welcome to come by anytime.”
“Thank you, Sean,” Patrick responded, working again to keep the emotion from his voice. “I’ll plan on that.”
Sadie bustled into the room a moment later, and before following her to his room, Patrick bid his family goodnight.
Seeing how badly he needed time to adjust to his father’s presence, Charlie wasted no time in getting Sean out the door and home. As soon as they were within the walls of their own home, Charlie told Sean she was going to bed.
“I’m tired, and I suspect you need some time to think.” Charlie turned toward the hallway and then hesitated. “If you need to talk, Sean, just knock on my door.”
“Thanks, Charlotte.”
Sean waited until she had gone into her room before moving toward his own. He did need some time, she had been right about that, but what was he to do with that time? Did he pray and ask God to erase all the years of hurt and confusion, or did he walk straight back to Sadie’s and confront the father he believed had deserted him and his sisters when they needed him most?
Sean opted for prayer. Not so that he could forget all the hurt, but so that he could put aside the anger and bitterness that still rode him. If he didn’t, he was sure to have even more regrets after what was certain to be a brief time with his father.
Why didn’t you come back? Didn’t you realize how much we needed you? I was so angry with you, I think I must have hated you. I can’t believe you could put the work at the mission ahead of your family . . .
Sean’s thoughts gave him little rest through the night. But the anger in his heart was abating, and Sean was pleased because he didn’t want to face his father with angry words. The questions that came to his mind again and again, however, had to be answered.
One look at Sean’s face the following morning, and Charlie knew just how bad his night had been; hers hadn’t been much better. As soon as she had shut her door, she wished she had asked Sean to move into her bedroom. They needed each other, for love and companionship. It was impossible to say when the time would be right again. The thought saddened her.
The conversation over breakfast was subdued, and both husband and wife were glad to get into the livery to start their daily tasks. Sean was in the midst of shoeing one of their own horses when his father appeared.
Sean’s back was to the stall opening, and Charlie, not wanting to break his concentration, did not alert him of his father’s presence.
Patrick watched in fascination as his son worked. Katie had written about
the fine blacksmith Sean had been when he was 16 and 17, but as Patrick watched Sean’s capable hands, he realized that her letters didn’t do him justice. Patrick also took note of Charlie, who assisted her husband with quiet efficiency. They made an ideal partnership.
He prayed silently as the couple finished, asking God as he had last night and all this morning to ease the way between Sean and himself. He knew he deserved his son’s anger, but he also knew that he would go nowhere until things between them were settled. Sean had been so silent the night before that Patrick had no gauge as to how long that could take. He prayed that his emotions as well as his finances would hold.
The task complete, Sean emerged from the stall, effectively breaking into his father’s thoughts. Again Patrick spoke the first words that came to mind.
“Your grandfather was a blacksmith back in Ireland, Sean. I don’t know if you remember me telling you that.”
“Actually, I’d forgotten,” Sean’s said, surprise filling his voice. Then the memories flooded back. “You helped him from the time you could walk.”
“That’s right, I did—right up to the day before I left for America.”
An uncomfortable silence fell for the space of a few heartbeats, and then Sean began to show his father around the livery. Patrick was as impressed as Sean had been on his first day. Charlie joined them, and Sean moved from stall to stall with his arm around his wife. It was a comfort to touch her; his life with her seemed more concrete to him than being able to call this man Father.
The day was not as uncomfortable as Sean would have thought. In fact, although impersonal, the next three days were very relaxed. Patrick spelled Charlie in the livery whenever he could, and Charlie, although she missed Sean’s company, left father and son alone often, knowing they needed to talk.
Charlie could have stayed without worrying. In the end, the showdown between father and son was to come at a time no one could have predicted.