See that she was absolutely everything that mattered.
In the aftermath of their wild yet sweet lovemaking, Kerry was warm and soft as he held her. It was tempting to use this moment when her defenses were down to try to convince her to change her mind again. But one of the things he loved so much about her was how well she knew her own mind. She was stubborn, just like him. It wasn't easy to be rational right now, but he knew that if their positions had been reversed, the one sure way to make him run would be to push him.
So he wouldn't push, at least not tonight. He'd force himself out of her arms. He'd make himself put his clothes back on. He'd order his legs and feet to walk out of her door as if their arrangement had actually ended tonight the way she'd told him she wanted it to.
But, damn it, he wasn't giving up. Because he couldn't give up on the biggest love he'd ever found in his life.
The biggest love he'd ever find.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Friday
Adam was the only one not paired off at his parents' dinner table. His father--and his mother, who he could see had been filled in on the situation with Kerry--had clearly been disappointed that she wasn't with him.
They hadn't had to ask him how things had gone with declaring his love to her, not when he knew his haggard expression gave him away. He hadn't slept a single second of the night after he'd left her bed. How could he, when he'd practically had to chain himself up to keep from heading right back to her?
As he watched Ian with Tatiana, Mia with Ford, Dylan with Grace and Mason, and his mother with his father, Adam saw even more clearly what he'd found in Kerry. Not just a beautiful woman. Not just an intelligent friend who always kept him on his toes. Not just a lover who rocked his world. But his other half. The person who made him whole.
None of the other women he'd dated had even a tenth of Kerry's substance. Her strength. Or her capacity to love. No wonder he'd never believed he'd have forever. None of the women he'd dated had been forever women.
Not until Kerry.
During dinner, his family had been talking about Rafe and Brooke's upcoming wedding and how good it would be to see everyone. Finally, he remembered to tell them, "I ran into Drake last night."
"He's already in Seattle?" Mia asked, clearly surprised.
"Not for the wedding. For a museum show. Sounds like they weren't hanging or lighting his paintings to his satisfaction."
"Artists," Ian said with a grin. "They're so picky about having everything just the way they want it."
Tatiana grinned back at him. "And aren't you lucky we never give up until we get exactly what we want?"
"So lucky," he agreed, kissing her to back up his words.
Normally, this was where Adam would groan and roll his eyes and tell them to get a room. When he didn't, even Mia looked worried.
Mason started fussing right then, and Adam decided he owed the kid one. "I'll take him outside," he said as he reached for Grace and Dylan's son. "Want to count the stars with me, kid?" Mason stopped fussing and held out his little arms.
Adam and Mason had just made it out to the grass and had turned to look up at the sky when his father stepped up beside them and said, "Any chance you need another star counter?"
Little Mason loved his grandfather and gave Max Sullivan a happy smooch. For a long while, the three of them stood in silence beneath the bright lights dotting the dark blue above.
"If Kerry's the one," his father finally said to Adam, "fight for her."
"I'm planning on fighting with everything I have."
His father's arm came strong and warm across his shoulders. With a squeeze, he took Mason from Adam's arms and left him standing alone in the middle of the backyard that he'd grown up in. Alone with thoughts that grew clearer, more focused, and more determined by the second.
Just as he'd been totally focused on getting Kerry to see him again after the first time they'd met, now he had an even bigger purpose: He wasn't just going to convince her to start dating him again--he was going to convince her to marry him, damn it, no matter what it took. And given that they were both going to be at the lake for his brother's romantic wedding, the universe was clearly handing him the chance of a lifetime.
*
Saturday
Everything at the wedding Kerry was putting on at the top of the Sky View Observatory was going like clockwork, thankfully. The newly married couple was very rich and very exacting, and she'd been working her tail off for months to make sure nothing fell through the cracks.
She'd barely been able to sleep since Thursday night, when Adam had loved her one last time and then left her with a good-bye kiss so sweet that she could have sworn it was still lingering on her lips. But even though she should have been exhausted, she felt totally wired and had been glad for such a big and detail-heavy wedding to force her brain to hold focus on something other than Adam.
At least, she shouldn't have been thinking about him, shouldn't have been missing his voice, his smile, his touch the entire time. From the vows and the first kiss, from the cutting of the wedding cake to the moment the band played the first bars of the first dance.
In a heartbeat, as the music began to play, Kerry was immediately swept back to another wedding. To another first dance. And all she could do was wish that Adam would magically walk through the doors, pull her into his arms, and sweep her onto the dance floor.
She didn't realize she'd stood frozen for the entire song until someone jostled her on their way to the dance floor. Hoping no one realized that she'd checked out for the past five minutes, she got back to work.
But no matter how much she tried to push it down, the soul-deep longing for Adam never went away.
*
Sunday
"Thank you for meeting with me today, Ms. Dromoland."
Kerry's mother inclined her head slightly and smiled as she chose a bench beneath a leafy tree and sat, looking out at the blue water sparkling in front of them. "This park has always been one of my favorite places to be on a warm afternoon such as this."
Adam smiled as he sat beside her. "It's one of my favorite places, too."
But Aileen Dromoland didn't smile back as she turned her gaze from the water to him. "I'm assuming you've asked me here to discuss Kerry."
He looked her straight in the eyes and didn't waste one second before telling her, "I love your daughter."
"Any man with half a brain would love my daughter," she said, her expression not having shifted at all despite his profession of love. "But few would deserve to love her."
"I agree," he said without any hesitation. Kerry's mother raised an eyebrow, but let him continue. "I know I have a long way to go to deserve Kerry's love, but I'm not just going to try to be good enough for her. I'm going to be good enough."
In just a few weeks, he'd learned so much, so quickly, about love. It wasn't enough just to try, to hope, to wish. Love meant laying every single thing out on the line and trusting that the other person would lay everything out, too. Without fear. And without regret.
"How exactly are you planning to do that?"
"By always putting Kerry first. By always respecting her. By always appreciating her. By always sharing everything with her. And never, ever hurting her."
Emotion flickered in Aileen's eyes, emotion that looked to Adam like a combination of past pain resurfacing--and, possibly, if he was lucky, the first beginnings of new hope for the future.
"If you are expecting me to talk to Kerry and present your case to her--"
"That's not why I'm here." He'd present his own case to Kerry, damn it. And he'd shower her with so much love that she'd never again be able to doubt how he felt about her. "I'm here because any mother who cares about her daughter as much as you love Kerry deserves to know how much she's loved."
Aileen looked out at the water for a few moments, and Adam followed her gaze. A small tugboat was dragging in an enormous barge. It should have been impossible for something so small to be so strong
, but Adam now knew that the smallest things--like a simple word with only four letters, for example--could be the strongest force in the entire world.
"If you love her so much, then why did she break up with you?"
Yet again, he didn't hesitate to tell the truth. "Because I was an idiot."
Aileen looked at him with surprise. "Did you just admit you made a mistake?"
"More than one," he said, nodding.
"And Kerry? Did she make any mistakes with you?"
"Almost as many as I have."
This time she didn't look shocked. Instead, her lips seemed to be twitching at the corners. "Are you really sitting here telling me that both of you acted like idiots?"
He grinned, knowing his instincts about Kerry's mother had been spot-on. Her elegance and self-control might make her seem slightly cold and forbidding at first glance, but beneath that veneer she was clearly as warm as her daughter. "Pretty much."
A flash of a smile moved across Aileen's face, but just as quickly, it fell away. "Last week, my other daughter made a personal decision that I found extremely difficult to accept. So difficult that I asked--begged, actually--Kerry to make me a promise to be careful so that she would never put herself in the same terrible position as Colleen. But now--" For the first time, Kerry's mother looked her age. "Now I'm wondering if I might have gotten things wrong."
"I suspect there are very few things you've ever gotten wrong."
She studied him for a few moments, and he could see where Kerry came by not only her beauty, but her intelligence, her strength, and her compassion, as well. "I'd like to think there aren't too many," she finally said, "but you've certainly surprised me. And I'm not surprised very often anymore. Particularly when it comes to love and relationships."
"Your husband," Adam had to tell her, "was a fool to have left the three of you."
"Yes," Kerry's mother agreed with a little catch in her voice, "he was. A terrible fool. And I was an even bigger one for not seeing it until it was too late. But then--" She quickly pulled herself back together. "I wouldn't have traded him for anything if it meant not having my girls. They mean absolutely everything to me."
"I would do anything for my family, too."
Again, Kerry's mother studied him, so closely that he wondered if she was actually trying to read his mind. "I can see why you grew on Kerry. Despite your devil-may-care reputation, family is clearly important to you. It doesn't hurt, of course, that you aren't hard on the eyes. But I've never known Kerry to be swayed by a pretty face. If anything, I'm going to guess that she was harder on you for it."
He laughed out loud at that extremely accurate statement and held out his hands. "I'm pretty sure she only let me off the hook because I had nothing to do with the way my face is put together. That's entirely down to my parents."
"I met your mother and father many years ago. I believe they were going through one of life's rough patches at the time, but when they spoke about you and your siblings, it was as if everything was perfect. That's how I knew they'd come through all right. Because you had each other to lean on. I'm glad to know that I was right and that each of you has had extraordinary success in your careers. All of your brothers and your sister are either engaged or married now, aren't they?"
"They are," he confirmed, even though it was clear that Aileen had done her research on him and his family. Which wasn't hard to do when most of them were either famous or spectacularly wealthy.
"Why are you the only one left? Were you even looking for love when you met my daughter?"
"No." Just as he would never be anything but honest with Kerry, he would never lie to her mother, either. "Love was the very last thing I was looking for." He paused and smiled. "And the very best thing I've ever found, accidentally or otherwise."
"I've always believed that nothing in this world is more beautiful than true love." She held Adam's gaze. "The two of you were beautiful when you were dancing together at the wedding. I've never seen Kerry look so happy."
"I want her to be happy," he said. His throat grew as tight as his chest had been ever since he'd made himself walk out of Kerry's apartment three days ago. "Kerry's happiness is all I want. Her happiness is everything I want."
"This morning, before coming here to meet you, I was worried that you are a man who quite obviously always gets precisely what he wants. But now?" Aileen Dromoland smiled at him, a smile that told him more about her change of heart than any words ever could. "Now I'm glad."
*
Monday
Kerry and her mother both arrived at the waterfront restaurant at the same time. They'd always been on track like that, and it was nice to know that some things never changed.
"You look wonderful, Mom," she said as they were shown to their seats beneath a colorful awning.
"I'm so glad you could squeeze me in for lunch today, honey."
"And I appreciate you saving me from lunch at my desk behind my computer," Kerry said with a smile. One that nearly faltered as she watched a couple embrace. They couldn't take their eyes--or hands--off each other. For a little while, that had been Kerry. With Adam.
"Have you heard from Colleen since she came back from Las Vegas?"
Her mother's question knocked Kerry back to her seat on the deck over the water. "Yes, she emailed me the pictures of their ceremony." Carefully, so that she wouldn't set her mother off, Kerry added, "She looked happy."
"She did." Kerry was still reeling at her mother's shocking agreement when her mother added, "Hopefully, a miracle of miracles will happen and it will last this time. But I actually didn't come to lunch to talk about Colleen."
Assuming her mother wanted to be caught up on the business, Kerry said, "Things have been so busy lately that I haven't checked in with you nearly enough. But I can give you a quick rundown of our most recent weddings if you'd like."
"There's no need for that," her mother said with a shake of her head. "You've always done far better than I ever did with the business. I don't need to know how work is. I need to know how you are."
Kerry tried not to let her mouth fall open at the way today's lunch was going. Her mother had always been there for her, of course, but never in such an in-her-face way. "I'm..."
"You look like you're not sleeping well." Her mother's hand came over hers, warm and comforting. "And even worse than that, you look sad."
Kerry knew she should be coming up with excuses to allay her mother's concerns. She could blame it on work, or maybe allergies, couldn't she? But the truth was that all the sleep she hadn't been getting since the night Adam had loved her one last time was making her brain slow, like mush.
"The last time I saw you, when you were dancing with Adam Sullivan, you looked so different. So happy. At least, until I showed up," her mother said with a rueful smile. "I didn't mean to ruin your beautiful moment."
Kerry wanted to tell her mother that she hadn't ruined anything. But that was a lie she couldn't get past her lips. Instead, she told her what she was absolutely positive she wanted to hear. "Adam and I, we aren't"--she could barely keep her voice from breaking before she got to the final word--"together."
This was where her mother was supposed to sigh with relief. Instead, she frowned and said, "I've always gone by first impressions. A skill that I passed on to you. However, what's taken me sixty-odd years to recognize is that sometimes those first impressions aren't right. Sometimes you need to take a step back to take stock of what the actual situation is. Take your father, for example. He swept me off my feet. But the man he turned out to be after those first impressions had faded... Well, you know precisely how that turned out. I don't always get it right, Kerry. Particularly, I'm afraid, when it comes to the man you were dating."
"But Adam and I were never dating."
Only, was that really true? Because even though they'd had an arrangement, hadn't they repeatedly broken the rules they'd set for themselves?
"Well, maybe we..." Kerry was so tired from fighting her feelings th
at she nearly laid her head down on the table. "I don't know what we were." Her chest was clenched tight as she admitted, "I don't know what we are."
"Oh, honey." Her mother's arms came around her, holding her tight. "Maybe you should give yourself some room to find out."
Kerry was officially beyond speechless now. "Wait." She was sure she had this wrong. "Are you actually telling me to date Adam Sullivan, one of Seattle's most notorious playboys?"
Her mother brushed the hair back from her face, just as she had when she was a little girl and it had come out of her ponytail. "I love both you and your sister, but the two of you have never been the same. You've always had a good head on your shoulders. Whether it's business or love, I trust you, honey. And I'm proud of you. So for once, instead of promising me to be safe, I'm hoping you'll make me a different promise. A promise to trust your instincts. And if you fall in love, to let yourself love with your whole heart."
*
Tuesday
Adam left for the lake right after meeting with Kerry's mother on Sunday. And since the moment he'd arrived, all he wanted to do was call Kerry, hear her voice, and tell her she should be standing on the beach with him, in his arms.
He wanted her back now. Yesterday. Tomorrow.
Always.
But he knew she needed time, needed space. The time and space to miss him. And to long for him the way he was longing for her, every second of every day.
Soon, he reminded himself for the zillionth time, she'd be here for three days of wedding romance, not to mention a dozen Sullivan happy-ever-afters all around them. But Adam had never waited for anything in his life, and it was killing him not to speed back to Seattle, charge into her office, throw her over his shoulder, and lock the two of them in one of their fancy hotel suites until she accepted what he already knew for sure--that they belonged together.
For the first time in days, he smiled, thinking of what her reaction to that would be. First cool as she would try to freeze him out, then hot as she would blast him for being so presumptuous. But he'd do anything to get her to consider taking him back.