I sighed.
“I don’t even know. It’s still so surreal. Even when she showed me the ultrasound. I mean, what are the chances?” Renee gave me a look.
“Do you really want to know, because I can pull out statistics.” I waved my hand.
“No, that was more of a rhetorical question. I’m just so not ready for this, Renee. I think that’s it. I just have this image in my head of holding two screaming babies, one in each hand, and trying to feed them at the same time. I can’t get rid of it.” When we’d first found out we were having a baby (now two) Hunter had been able to paint the rosy picture and make me see that it was possible. That we could do this, even if we were young.
Now I wasn’t so sure.
“Hey, look at that woman who had the eight kids at once. I mean, she was bat-shit crazy, but still. She had four times the kids and she didn’t have Hunter, or me or the rest of our friends. I know that’s not enough, but you do have support. You have a mom and a sister and Hunter’s family. You have a whole fucking village to raise these kids.” A woman walking near our table gave Renee a dirty look for swearing. Renee just gave her a sweet smile.
Renee got away with a lot, looking like a cute, wide-eyed little pixie.
“But what if that isn’t enough?” I said.
“It’s gonna have to be.” She had that right. These kids were coming whether we wanted them or not. I wouldn’t consider the alternatives. They weren’t alternatives for me. I wouldn’t dare judge any woman for the decisions she made for her body, but this was what I was going to do.
“Two babies,” I said.
“Two babies.”
I got back to an empty house and I felt like shit. I hadn’t wanted to drive away, but I knew she needed some time and I had to give it to her.
She’d left the ultrasound picture in the car, so I brought it in the house with me and sat down on the couch to look at it.
Two babies. We were going to have two babies. Fraternal twins, so there was a chance we could get a boy and a girl, which I was kind of hoping for. One of each. That would be ideal.
I couldn’t blame Taylor for being upset and scared. There were a lot of risks involved with any pregnancy and the potential for something to go wrong was higher than with just one baby. I was going to monitor her even more than I already was. I’d already put Dr. Howard’s name in my speed dial. Just in case.
Mase was first home, so he was the first one I told about the twins.
“Shit, really? Knocking it out of the park on the first hit, huh?” I shoved his shoulder.
“Shut up.” He smiled and gave me a hug, pounding me on the back.
“Congratulations again, man. I’m excited to be an uncle. It’s going to be great. You should call my mom and tell her. She’ll be over the moon.” Oh, she would be, that was for sure.
“Thanks. It’s going to be a whole lot crazier around here.” As if to punctuate my point, Napoleon dashed through the living room, followed closely by Smoky. Our new little kitten was holding her own with the older bruiser. They were already best friends.
“What else is new?”
“True story.”
It was my turn for dinner that night, which was a good distraction. I decided to make lasagna, since it had so many steps. I made two pans so we had enough for leftovers, as well as a salad and garlic bread. By the time I was done, most everyone was home, but not my girl or Renee. I’d gone ahead and told everyone the news, showing the sonogram around. Mase handed me a beer and I got a lot of hugs and congratulations and shocked smiles. It made me so happy to know that Taylor and I were surrounded by such amazing people. And, by extension, our kids. Plural.
“Hey, everyone,” Renee said, coming in as I was setting food on the table. I’d been worried they were going to miss dinner so I put some aside for them for later.
Everyone greeted Renee as she sat down next to Paul. Taylor slunk in behind her and everyone cheered.
“Mazel Tov!” Dusty said, raising his soda.
“Seriously, congrats you two,” Paul said as he filled Renee’s plate with food.
“Yeah, thanks. Um, Hunter could I talk to you upstairs for a moment?” I searched her eyes, but she was hiding her emotions from me. She’d gotten better at it lately and it drove me crazy. I very much liked knowing exactly what was on her mind.
“Of course,” I said and led the way upstairs.
I sat down on the bed as she closed the door behind us so there wouldn’t be any eavesdropping.
I was about to ask what she wanted to talk to me about when she grabbed my guitar and sat next to me on the bed.
“You sang this song to me once as an apology, so it’s my turn to sing it to you now.” She smiled slowly and started strumming the guitar.
“Honey Come Home” by The Head and the Heart spilled from her mouth and her fingers and it was so lovely and so sweet that I got a little choked up.
“Please. Just listen. I… I’m so sorry. I’ve been trying to figure out how I could show you, and this was all I could come up with. You don’t have to do anything but listen. Just listen.” Megan had given me a look as if she was imagining setting me on fire, but she’d left me alone with Taylor.
I was desperate. I was so desperate. I knew words weren’t enough, but a song could say what I couldn’t. And I was going to show her. God, was I going to show her that I had fucked up and I was going to do whatever I could to make it up to her.
I’d told her everything. About the check and the money and Joe and my parents. I’d been scared shitless, but it had also been freeing. To lay myself open like that for her and have her listen and then agree to go out to dinner with me.
Taylor smiled as she sang, her voice going smoky and deep. It really was beautiful, and not just because it was hers. Someday I was going to get her to duet with me in public. Someday.
The last note of the song wavered and died. Taylor took a breath and rested her arms on the guitar.
“So there you have it. I freaked out and I pushed you away, but I’m okay now. We’re having twins and it’s happening and I’m going to suck it up and try to look on the bright side. Because there are thousands of people who would love to be in our shoes.”
“We can do this.” I said, leaning over and kissing her, the guitar between us.
“We can do this,” she said into my mouth.
When we went down to dinner a few minutes later, everyone cheered when they saw that we were holding hands.
“Did you fuck and make up?” Jos asked.
“Not exactly,” I said. “That part will come later tonight.” That comment earned me a chorus of boos from the table and a smack in the stomach from Taylor.
“Pervert.”
“Perfect.”
“Daddy.”
“Mommy.”
“Seriously, you guys. I’m eating here,” Renee said. Taylor rolled her eyes and we sat down.
“Now you’re eating for three,” Darah said as Taylor filled her plate.
“That is an excellent point,” Taylor said, adding another piece of garlic bread to her already-full plate.
“You happy, baby?” I asked Taylor.
“I’m eating, so yes,” she said, stabbing her fork into her slab of lasagna.
“You know what I mean.”
She cut a piece and stuck it in her mouth, moaning in a way that made my pants tight. Maybe we should have fucked before we came downstairs.
“Yes, I am,” she said after she’d chewed and cut another bite. “Because if we have two girls, you’re going to be completely outnumbered and I would enjoy that a whole lot.” She grinned at me. Oh, she was asking for it.
“And if we have two boys? Then you’re the one who’s going to be out numbered.”
“Touché.” She bumped her leg into mine under the table.
“Oh! So, please don’t give your kids matching names. Like Alyssa and Melissa or something,” Renee said.
“You certainly have an awful lot of opinions
about naming our future children,” Taylor said.
“Yeah, well, names are important. They help shape who you are and if they don’t match who you are, it can be a problem.” I understood that, I guess.
“We don’t even know what we’re having yet, so I think the great name debate is going to have to wait,” I said, taking Taylor’s hand under the table. She wrapped her fingers around mine.
“I know that,” Renee said. “But just… think about it.”
“We will. Would anyone else like to put in their two cents about baby names?” Taylor said.
“You know ‘Dustin’ is an excellent name. Full of character. And it could also work for a girl. I’m just saying,” Dusty said, putting his hands up. Jos rolled her eyes at him.
“You are so transparent sometimes.”
Other conversations broke out and I could see factions starting to form.
“They’re going to vote on naming our children, aren’t they?” Taylor said as everyone debated around us.
“Yup. They are. This is going to be a fun.”
“Yeah, for you.”
After a brief and almost violent debate about baby names, we all settled in for homework time. My mind was drifting, so I clicked on a few baby websites, searching for items specifically for twins.
“I’ll get you that one,” Hunter said, startling me. I was on the couch and he’d leaned over the back, right next to my shoulder. I’d been looking at breast pumps.
“It’s like, the Cadillac of pumps,” Hunter said, totally seriously.
“You’ve been looking at breast pumps online.” It wasn’t a question but he nodded.
“Yeah. We’re definitely going to need one, especially with two babies.”
Someone cleared their throat.
“Can we put a moratorium on the breast pump talk while I’m doing homework?” Mase asked.
Hunter shot him a dirty look. “Dude, just you wait.”
Mase shot Darah a terrified look.
“Don’t look at me, I have an IUD. No babies right now, John,” Darah said, kissing Mase on the cheek. He looked slightly mollified, but I decided to put breast pump talk on hold until Hunter and I were alone.
I had to turn in early and hated myself a little for it.
“We’re going to be middle-aged long before we’re actually middle-aged,” I whined as Hunter stripped out of his clothes and joined me in bed. It wasn’t even ten yet.
“We’re still going to be cool. We can be cool and have kids. Celebrities do it all the time. David Beckham has, like, four kids. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have, like, a dozen or something. No one would accuse them of being uncool.” It was a valid point, but I definitely wasn’t Angelina Jolie and probably never would be.
“My boobs are gonna get huge, you know.” They’d already started to get a little tender and I wasn’t looking forward to them swelling later in the pregnancy.
“Oh, I know,” Hunter said with a leer before he rolled over on top of me and shoved his face right in my chest.
“Ugh, get off me!” I said, giving him a half-hearted shove.
“Hey, I’m going to have to share them, so I’m going to enjoy them while I can.” He slid down so he had his chin on my stomach.
“Hello, babies,” he said and then kissed my belly.
“Aw, Hunter. That’s really sweet.” I was getting choked up again. Damn hormones, making me all emotional.
“I don’t even know if they have ears or the ability to hear yet, but I’m going to assume that they do. Hello in there,” Hunter said the last part to Spawns.
“Are you going to sing to them?” I asked, stroking the top of his head.
“Of course. I want them to know my voice before they come out. I want them to know that their daddy is here for them and he’s not going anywhere.” I did start crying then.
“I’m sorry. It’s the hormones,” I said as Hunter passed me a tissue to blot my eyes.
“It’s okay,” he said, kissing my belly again before softly starting to sing “Honey Come Home.”
I fell asleep listening to Hunter singing to our babies.
“Twins?” Dad said, nearly choking on a piece of steak. We were at one of the nicer restaurants in Waterville. Me, Hunter and Dad. I’d just dropped the bomb on him and his eyes were bulging.
“Yup,” I said, sliding the sonogram over to him. He took it with shaking hands.
“Two babies?” he said again, his eyes filling with tears.
“Yeah. Two babies,” I said. His emotion was getting to me. Other people crying was now a trigger for me to sympathy cry, apparently.
“Oh, Taylor.” He set the picture down, got up and came over to hug me.
“Congratulations, that is so wonderful. Oh, that is so exciting!” He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. A few people in the restaurant were staring, but I didn’t care.
“Yeah, it threw us for a minute there, but now we’re full steam ahead,” I said, holding Hunter’s hand under the table. He smiled at me and squeezed. We’d covered a lot of ground this week. Between the botched wedding attempt and the Spawns, things had been exciting to say the least. I was crossing my fingers they were going to calm down for a little while so I could catch my breath.
“Is there anything you guys need? I want to help any way I can,” Dad said, resuming eating his steak.
“Um, right now, no. We’re going to find out what we’re having before we go crazy buying everything. Two of everything,” I said with a laugh.
“Right now we’re looking for a good family car,” Hunter said. When he’d come to me and told me that he wanted to get something that would carry all of us, I’d been sure he was joking.
“You mean a mom-mobile?” I’d asked.
“Well, a dad-mobile, but yeah. Maybe an SUV or something. I refuse to drive a fucking minivan.” So he did have a line he wouldn’t cross. No minivans. Got it.
“That’s wise,” Dad said. “Then you can try out car seats to make sure they fit properly. I remember when Taylor was little they weren’t nearly as complicated as they are now. I think some of them are parent proof.” The three of us laughed.
Car seats. We were talking about car seats. A lot of other girls my age were all about going out dancing and finding an eligible dude to hook up with. And I was talking about car seats.
The baby talk shoved aside any awkwardness that might have been present. Dad was just so happy about the babies that he kept the conversation moving. He and Hunter got in a deep conversation about crib safety and I just watched and shook my head.
“So I want to come up and see you, see how you’re growing and changing. At least once a month?” Dad looked so hopeful, I agreed. He was just so enthusiastic that it rubbed off on me.
“That was nice,” Hunter said as we drove back up to school. We’d stopped briefly and saw Mom. She’d nearly fallen over when we’d told her about the twins, but was just as happy as Dad. Everyone was happy, which did surprise me a little. I’d expected some resistance with Hunter and me being so young.
“So, I’m going to look for cars tomorrow with Mase. Do you want to come?” Hunter asked. I didn’t really care what he got, as long as I got to keep Sassy. I’d already figured out that you could fit two car seats in there no problem. So she was staying.
“No, I trust you. I have a ton of homework to do.” I yawned. The semester was almost at an end and in just a few weeks we’d be on winter break for nearly a month. I was very much looking forward to just having work and the clinic on my schedule for a while. And human-growing, of course. I never got a break from that.
“Okay. I’ll drop you off, grab Mase and then go,” Hunter said.
“Sounds good.”
“You tired, babe?” Renee said, stroking my hair. Crap. I’d fallen asleep on my textbook. Again. That had happened a lot these days. I’d been falling asleep in class too. Pregnancy rocked.
“Little bit,” I mumbled, shutting my book.
“Have you decided wha
t you’re going to do about next year?” Ugh, I didn’t want to talk about it, but I needed to ask someone other than Hunter. He just kept telling me to do whatever I was comfortable with, which wasn’t a good answer when I needed his opinion.
“No. I really don’t think I’m going to be ready to go full-force with school next fall. The twins will probably come early, and I just can’t imagine leaving them every single day for hours when they’re barely a few months old. They’ll still be so small. I’m gonna be way too attached.” I knew that already. I’d bonded with the little suckers.
“I totally get that. Even though we’d all agree to babysit. I just think you’d be distracted worrying about them. Better to wait until they’re older and you’re ready to leave them. I mean, you could always double up.” I shook my head.
“No way. I’ll just do an extra semester. And it won’t be that bad because I can do summer courses and then I’ll only have two or three classes.” I’d already done the math, I just needed to make a definite decision. It wasn’t my initial plan when I’d come to college, but so what? Plans changed. Stupid boys came into your life. Twins happened.
“That all sounds good. Are you okay with that?” Renee had really been a fantastic support lately. Everyone had, but her especially. I didn’t know what I’d do without her.
I shrugged.
“It is what it is. An extra semester isn’t gonna kill me. Plus it will give Hunter time to find a teaching position and me a chance to find a job.” For right now, the plan was to stay in this area, in this house. Hopefully we’d have good job luck so we didn’t have to move. That was my worst fear. Moving away from the support system I was already relying on.
“True. Hey, do you want me to rub your feet?” I gave her a look, but nodded.
“I’ll just be careful not to hit any pressure points. You have to do a special kind of massage during pregnancy because if you hit certain spots, you can bring on labor.” She was a fountain of medical information. Sometimes it was good and then sometimes she was telling me all the gross things that were going to happen to my body that I definitely didn’t want to know about ahead of time.