“I didn’t want to be embarrassed if you didn’t like me. I was a coward!” He laughed. “C’mon.” He patted the sofa. “Sit for a little while, and then we’ll go back to the party and watch everyone make fools of themselves.”
I looked at the horses. They were both watching us with what looked like real interest. When I didn’t move fast enough, Kent rose a little, leaned forward, and took my hand, tugging me to the sofa. I sat beside him.
“I was honest about myself, so how about you, Semantha? Have you been with other boys, boys maybe from other schools?”
“No.”
“I’m surprised you don’t attend a private school. Everyone is surprised about that, actually.”
“My sister, Cassie, wanted us to, but my mother was against it. My father never went to a private school. I like our school.”
“Yeah, me, too. Are you shy, too?”
“I guess so,” I said.
“Let’s find out.”
He leaned toward me to kiss me, and I pulled back.
“You didn’t complain when I kissed you at the game,” he said.
“I’m not complaining,” I said.
He smiled and moved faster this time to bring his lips to mine. It was a long kiss.
“You’re the prettiest girl in our class, Semantha,” he whispered. “Maybe even in the whole school.”
I started to shake my head. He kissed me again. I knew he expected me to kiss him back as hard and as long as he was kissing me, but when his lips touched mine, I didn’t do that. I couldn’t help it. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Cassie’s disapproving face.
“Don’t you like me?” he asked, obviously disappointed in my reaction.
“Yes.”
“You don’t act like it,” he said.
“I’m a little nervous, Kent.”
“Sure. Me, too,” he said. “But you can’t let that stop you from having a good time, right?”
“I don’t know.”
“I do,” he said. He kissed me on the neck and brought his hands up the sides of my arms to put them behind my back and pull me closer to him so we could kiss again. This time, I really tried, and he liked it. “Semantha,” he said. “Semantha. You have the nicest name, too.”
I was beginning to wonder if he was as shy as he claimed to be. In one of the romance novels I read, the novels Cassie mocked, there was a man who pretended to be shy and awkward, and that way, he always managed to get the girl he wanted to be more cooperative.
“I’m glad you’re as shy as me,” he said as if he could read my thoughts as easily as Cassie could. “That way, we’ll both help each other, discover each other. You want us to do that, right?”
Before I could respond, his hands came around my shoulders and quickly slipped over my breasts. When he pressed his palms to my nipples, the tingle shot through me with electric speed. As if she was part of the lightning, Cassie’s face flashed in front of me.
Instantly, I jumped up.
“What’s wrong?”
“We’d better return to the party. Your father will be here soon.”
“Not that soon. Don’t you want to be alone for a while?” he asked, his voice full of disappointment. “I thought you’d want to be alone with me, and that was why you agreed to come with me.”
“It’s getting late. I think we’d better return to the party.”
He looked at me with confusion. “Why are you getting so upset? All I did—”
“Let’s just go back, Kent. Please.”
He smirked, looked down a moment, and then stood up. “Yeah, let’s just go back,” he said, and walked quickly toward the door. I had to hurry to keep up with him, and he was silent all the way back into the house.
The party did seem to be getting more raucous. Someone had talked Eddie into spiking his soda, too, and he looked dazed and unaffected by the way the older students were banging into the furniture and spilling drinks. The kitchen looked as if it had been hit by a hurricane—the plastic forks on the floor as well as the counters, the garbage can overflowing, half-eaten pieces of pizza on the counters and even one smashed into the tile.
“Eddie’s parents are going to be pissed,” Kent muttered. He looked at his watch. “Maybe my father is here. Let’s take a look.”
I followed him to the door. We heard Noel call to us, but Kent ignored him and walked out. We stood in the entryway, looking down the driveway. One of the older boys was kissing Kaley Lester by a parked car. Kaley was in our class and usually very quiet and to herself, but the boy she was with was all over her, and even from this distance, we could see that his right hand was under her skirt.
“I guess she’s not as shy as we all thought,” Kent muttered. I was going to suggest that someone might have spiked her soda, but before I could reply, he said, “There’s my father.”
We walked down the sidewalk to the driveway, and Kent practically lunged for the rear car door when his father stopped. I got in quickly, and he followed.
“How was it?”
“Okay,” Kent said.
His father hesitated and then nodded at the house.
“Everything all right in there? The music sounds pretty loud.”
“They’re celebrating a great school victory, Dad,” Kent said sharply.
His father nodded and started away. The silence between us made him uncomfortable. “You guys tired?”
“I guess,” Kent said.
“The great thing about being young is that you can burn the candle on both ends for a while, but believe me, it catches up with you.”
“Dad …”
“I know, I know. You guys have a right to make your own mistakes. Is that what you tell your parents, Semantha?”
I looked at Kent, who was looking out the window. “No, Mr. Pearson.”
“Good for you,” he said, and we drove almost the remainder of the way in silence. When we turned into our gated entrance, Kent muttered under his breath.
“What?” I asked.
“No wonder you’re a princess. You live in a castle,” he said.
I felt tears coming, but I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“I’m not a princess, Kent.”
Before he could get out to open my door, I opened it myself this time.
“Good night, Mr. Pearson, and thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Semantha.”
I went up the steps and didn’t turn around until they were nearly at the end of our long driveway. The moment I entered, Daddy came up from his den office.
“Hey, honey, how was the night? I heard we won the game?”
“It was exciting, Daddy.”
“And the party?”
“Okay,” I said.
“Well, I promised your mother I would wait up for you. Let’s get to bed,” he said, putting his arm around me. “Was it a big party?”
“About thirty, I think, but more and more kids began to show up, so it might be a lot more now.”
“Some of them get out of hand?” he asked softly as we reached the top of the stairway.
“Some,” I said. “Not us,” I added.
“I didn’t have any doubt about it,” he told me, kissed me on the cheek, and went to his and Mother’s bedroom.
I started down the hallway and paused when I reached Cassie’s room. She had deliberately left the door open. I didn’t feel much like spending any time talking about the party with her, but I knew she would only come into my room and wake me if I didn’t go into hers. I took a deep breath and entered. She was sitting up in her bed, reading, and slowly put the book down on her lap.
“Good,” she said. “Come in.” She patted her bed.
“I’m tired, Cassie. Can we talk in the morning?”
“Absolutely not. People forget important details when that much time passes. You want to talk when everything is fresh in your mind. Come here,” she said firmly.
I approached her bed and sat at the foot of it. I didn’t look at her.
“Something happened, something bad?”
I shook my head, but then I nodded. “Kent’s mad at me.”
“Oh? Start at the beginning.”
I began to describe the game, and she stopped me.
“By beginning, I mean after the game, Semantha.”
“His father drove us to Eddie Morris’s house. There already were a lot of kids there, dancing, eating pizza …”
“And drinking and smoking?”
“I didn’t see anyone smoking. Eddie warned them about that and about drugs.”
“But they were drinking?”
“The older students were.”
“No one tried to offer you a drink or a pill or anything like that?”
“They offered us, but Kent refused. He said he still remembered getting sick from drinking too much.”
“Umm,” she said.
“We danced and were having a good time. There was a professional DJ.”
“Never mind that. Did Kent try to get you alone somewhere? Well?”
“We took a walk because the party was getting too wild.”
“To where?”
“The stables to look at the horses.”
“Go on,” she said. “Don’t make me pull teeth, either, Semantha. Just come out with it.”
My throat closed up. I felt as if I were suddenly standing naked. Why did I have to tell her all this?
“Nothing happened!” I cried. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
I leaped off the bed and charged out of her room, but my heart was thumping so hard when I went into mine that I thought I would faint. Quickly, I went into my bathroom and locked the door. For a while, I just stood there, looking at myself in the mirror. Then I undressed, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. When I came out, I thought I would just go right to sleep. For a moment, I didn’t see her. I got my nightgown out and put it on and pulled back my blanket, and then she stepped out of the left corner where she had been standing the whole time watching me. I nearly jumped out of my own skin.
“Cassie, I’m tired!” I cried. “It’s very late.”
She didn’t speak. She stepped toward me. “Get into bed,” she said. “Go on.”
I crawled under my covers, and she sat on my bed and fixed the blanket around my neck and shoulders the way Mother always fixed it. Then she stroked my hair just like Mother, too.
“Poor Semantha,” she said. “Your first bad sexual experience.”
I turned away.
“It’s so much better if you talk about it, Semantha. It’s like eating heavy food before you sleep. It will lie on you all night. He took you somewhere where he could be alone with you, and then what?”
“I think I got him angry because I was so nervous about being alone with him.”
“I’m not concerned about his being angry, Semantha. Actually, his being angry tells me quite a bit about him. What exactly did he do? I’m sure he tried to kiss you, right?”
I nodded.
“And you like him, so you kissed him back. We already expected that.”
What we? I wanted to say. It was me, me! I was alone with Kent, not we.
“And the kissing was exciting,” she continued, “and he got excited because you were being so … what shall we say … cooperative? That’s a signal for boys. What did he try then? Did he try to get under your dress? What?”
“No. He just …”
“Just what, Semantha?”
“Brought his hands around over my breasts.”
She nodded. “Of course he did. And what did you do? Did you moan and groan?”
“No, Cassie. I jumped up.”
“And that’s what made him angry?”
“Yes.”
She smiled, and then she grew serious again. “How did you feel, Semantha? I mean, how did you really feel?”
“I felt bad.”
“Because you wanted him to touch you, right?”
“No. Well, maybe, but I felt bad because he was so upset. I felt like I had tricked him.”
“That is exactly how boys want you to feel. Exactly,” she said, and stood up to pace as she talked. “They get you feeling guilty for being sensible, for being cautious. These days, boys think if you smile at them, you want to go to bed with them immediately, and if you prove otherwise, they accuse you of being a tease.
“Don’t you fall for that, Semantha,” she warned, waving her right forefinger at me. “You have your self-respect. Good for you. Now, when the time comes, when the right boy is there, then things will be different.”
“How do you know who’s the right boy?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll know. This is good,” she said. “This is all very good. You listened well. I’m very proud of you. Tonight you were a true Heavenstone. Now, don’t you dare go to sleep feeling guilty about anything, understand? I won’t permit it.”
I said nothing. She paced a little more, looking as if she was talking to herself, and then she stopped and abruptly said, “Good night.”
She walked out and closed my door.
What did she mean when she said, “Don’t worry. We’ll know?”
What we?
Was she going to hold my hand throughout my whole teenage life?
What would she do when I went off to college and she was at her college?
I wasn’t going to sleep feeling guilty anymore. I was going to sleep feeling terribly confused.
And, without knowing exactly why, feeling a little afraid, too.
Tease
CASSIE SAID NOTHING more that weekend about my night with Kent, but when she looked at me, I could see she hadn’t forgotten a single detail. I wasn’t as angry at him as she wanted me to be, despite how he had behaved at the end of the evening. All weekend, I was hoping that he would call me to apologize for his behavior and maybe suggest that we try to be together again. I did feel bad about how I had behaved. I could just imagine how I had looked to him when I jumped up like that and insisted on leaving the stable. If I had a chance to explain, maybe he wouldn’t be so angry. Every time I heard a phone ringing, I prayed it was mine, but the only time mine rang was when Bobbi called to tell me how much she had enjoyed Eddie’s party and asked me how I had liked it.
I said, “Yes, it was fun.”
“It was fun? You don’t sound enthusiastic about it,” she quickly replied. I wasn’t sure if she was fishing for information or not. She gave me the impression that Noel had not spoken to Kent and then called her, because she seemed to know nothing about the way my night had ended. I kept wondering if this was an act, so I wasn’t very responsive to her questions.
“I guess you’re used to more elaborate, expensive parties, huh?”
“No.”
She waited, but I didn’t know what else to say.
“Okay. I can see you’re not in the mood to talk,” she said, and ended the call quickly.
I couldn’t help being very nervous on Monday morning. Surprisingly, Cassie was in one of her buoyant, happy moods. She was as nice to me as could be and even seemed pleased that Mother’s pregnancy apparently was back to being okay. She had nice things to say about the redecoration of what would be Asa’s nursery, too. Afterward, when we were on our way to school, she told me Daddy had promised to take her to see the work on the new store in Lexington very soon. She knew he hadn’t asked me, and Mother wouldn’t be going.
“It’s going to be our special day,” she said. “We’ll go to lunch, of course. And he’ll introduce me to all his important friends.”
She saw the look on my face and added, “And maybe next time he’ll take you.”
I wasn’t jealous, so I said nothing, not that she would have noticed if I had. She was on a tear about the Heavenstone business and how hard Daddy worked, and how little appreciation Mother showed him. She said the truth was that he talked to her more about the business than anyone, including Uncle Perry. This was one of Cassie’s favorite topics, and if I had heard it once, I had heard it a hundred times. I was st
ill in deep thought about Kent and really wasn’t listening all that closely to what she was saying, anyway.
When we arrived at school, I hurried in, hoping to see and speak to Kent before the bell for homeroom sounded. We were in different homerooms. I did see him talking to some of his friends. He turned and saw me, and I started in his direction but stopped when he turned away abruptly and started down the hall.
After that, I wasn’t going to initiate any conversation with him. I wanted to wait to see if he would speak first to me. He didn’t. In the classes we shared, he went directly to his desk and afterward either left before I did or after and didn’t catch up with me.
I was afraid it would be this way all day, and sure enough, at lunch, he sat at a different table and didn’t acknowledge me at all. By this time, everyone’s curiosity was at high pitch. Bobbi was the first to ask what had happened. The way she asked me caused me to think she already had Kent’s answer, an answer that certainly didn’t flatter me.
“I had the feeling you weren’t happy when I called you,” she said when I didn’t respond quickly enough. “Apparently, Kent didn’t have that good a time, either. Why not?”
I thought hard for a moment and then said, “I think he was disappointed.”
She smiled. “I’ll say. Too bad. You two looked good together. Maybe you just aren’t ready for a mature relationship.” She left to join Noel.
After that, the buzz began. Whispers, like hummingbirds, fluttered about the ears of others in my class. Before the end of the day, I understood I had been accused of being a tease, a girl who promises more than she will ever deliver and enjoys tormenting boys. Most blamed it on my being a spoiled rich girl who always got what she wanted when she wanted it.
Moving in like some parasite, Megan Stein was all over Kent whenever she had the chance. Maybe to hurt me more than to please himself, Kent behaved as though he had just discovered her. I saw him talking softly to her at her locker between classes, his lips so close to hers they were already kissing each other’s breath.
As I was walking out of the building, Bobbi’s final comment to me for the day was, “You know that this makes it harder for you to get another boy in our school interested in you.”