Instead of showing the sadness and pain that she and the others expected, I simply said, “I’ll survive,” and walked away from her. I knew this would just reinforce their idea of me as being stuck-up and arrogant. Since Cassie already had this reputation, it was easy for them to paint me with the same brush.
I didn’t think that Cassie had ruined things for me with the other kids in school. In fact, I suddenly was prouder of her than ever. As I made my way out to the parking lot, all I could think was that Cassie was especially right about boys. Cassie was still the smartest person I knew. As usual, the moment she set eyes on me, she knew I had gone through a difficult day.
She said nothing until we drove away from the school. I was looking out the side window but seeing nothing.
“You don’t have to say anything, Semantha,” she began. “I’ll tell you what happened. Your wonderful new boyfriend treated you like horse dung all day.”
I turned to her and nodded.
“And he made sure everyone knew it was all your fault, right?”
“Just like you said, Cassie.”
“It’s so typical,” she muttered, shaking her head. “Most of the boys in this school are the same. They don’t have class. They’re not up to being with you and me, Semantha. This is why I wanted us to go to a private school. They’re all riffraff. Don’t you spend a second regretting anything. None of this is your fault, Semantha.”
“I won’t.”
“Good, good. Don’t worry. The right young man for you is out there, so get that sad look off your face. We certainly don’t want Daddy to see it. The worst thing for you right now is pity, and that’s what our parents would feel for you, especially Mother. She would make you feel even worse doing that. Don’t act any differently from the way you’ve been. If you think you are going to be sad, walk away and come see me, okay?”
“Okay, Cassie.”
“I just knew something like this would happen. I could tell what sort of boy he was just by looking at his older brother. What they say about the apple not falling far from the tree is correct.”
“His father was very nice, Cassie.”
“You haven’t met his mother, and you don’t know their family background. They’re common people, Semantha. We’re the Heavenstones. Don’t ever forget it, even for a moment. You won’t be able to forget it. It’s in you, and it’s stronger than anything else in you.
“The Heavenstones,” she muttered, and drove on. I was beginning to hear myself chanting the same thing.
Because Daddy was so excited about his new store in Lexington, when we arrived at the house, it wasn’t difficult for me to hide my social and emotional disappointment. He was so excited that he broke his rule about not talking about business at dinner. Mother had prepared a delicious stuffed pork roast and her special mashed sweet potatoes, but she looked tired to me and even a little pale. She put on the best face she could because of Daddy’s enthusiastic description of everything.
“There’s a very good chance that the governor himself will be at our opening gala,” he revealed, “and at least one of our United States senators, not to mention a herd of other important local politicians, businessmen, and just about all the television and radio media available.
“Your uncle Perry has come up with what I must say is a brilliant public-relations idea, as well,” he added, looking at Cassie and me.
“He has?” Cassie asked. “What?”
“Customers in all of our other stores are filling out coupons. We’re having a drawing the night of the gala opening, a lottery, and the winner gets to spend one thousand dollars in any of our stores. It will bring in tons of publicity,” he said.
Cassie returned to eating without any comment. I was happy for Uncle Perry, and Mother said she thought it was brilliant. When Daddy asked Cassie to think up some additional good ideas to make the gala as exciting as possible, she brightened again and told him she would make a list and bring it to him in his office later.
I could see that despite her efforts to hide her fatigue, Mother was too tired to help with the cleanup or do anything more. I pleaded with her to go up to bed, and she finally relented and did just that. Cassie surprised me by chastising me for persuading Mother to rest.
“Don’t you know that when you tell someone she looks sick and tired, she’ll feel sick and tired? Daddy spoils her too much as it is, especially now, when he has all this important business to do.”
“But—”
“Never mind, Semantha. I’ll take care of it. Go do your homework. I’ll do all this.”
“I can help you. I can—”
“Just go up to your room and do your homework,” she said. “I know you’ve had a very trying day, and you hid it well from Daddy. Go on,” she repeated, and turned her back on me.
I watched her for a moment and left. As I was walking toward the stairway, however, I heard Daddy ask her why she was doing everything herself.
“Oh, Mother was too tired, Daddy, and Semantha has a load of homework. It’s all right.”
“You’re an angel, Cassie, an angel,” he said.
I didn’t have that much homework, and I was so disturbed by what had happened at school that I probably wouldn’t be able to concentrate. I could have helped her finish. I wanted to run back and tell that to Daddy, but I also imagined how angry Cassie would be if I contradicted her, so I continued up the stairs. I went to see how Mother was doing. She was already in bed. I had been right to send her up.
“Mother, are you feeling ill?”
“Just a bout of nausea suddenly. I was a little dizzy, too, but it’s passing. I’ll be fine,” she said. “Don’t worry, honey.”
She smiled at me, and I went to her and hugged her. She stroked my hair and smiled.
“When are you going to another party? Doesn’t the school have parties, too? I bet there’s something for the holidays coming up.”
She was right. There was always a holiday party before the break for Christmas vacation, but I had no expectations. Bobbi was probably right. None of the other boys would ask me to go with him.
“Yes, there’s a party before the holiday break.”
“Well, maybe I’ll take you to look for a new dress. We haven’t done that for a while. Maybe this weekend,” she said.
I didn’t want to tell her anything unpleasant or sad, and I remembered Cassie’s warning about attracting pity, so I just smiled and nodded.
“Do you need anything?” I asked.
“No, I’m just going to rest. Go on and do your homework, honey.”
“I’ll come back to say good night,” I promised. She nodded, and I started away. When I reached the door, I looked back at her and saw she had closed her eyes and looked as if she had fallen asleep just that fast.
I don’t care what Cassie says, I thought. We have to look after Mother more. I vowed to do just that and left.
Cassie eventually came around to agreeing with me, anyway. In the days that followed, Cassie was doing more and more for Mother, preparing her breakfast and bringing it up to her before she and I left for school, even some days fixing her lunch so all she had to do was warm up something or uncover something waiting in the refrigerator. Despite all of this resting and Cassie’s and my assuming more and more of Mother’s work in the house, she didn’t appear to be improving. She did her best to hide it all from Daddy, who was very busy with preparations for the new store’s opening and gala.
All of this weighed heavily on my mind. Half the time, I wasn’t listening in school, and I was even embarrassed in social studies class when my teacher asked me a question and I just stared dumbly until Victor Brown, sitting next to me, poked me in the arm. The class broke into laughter, but Mrs. Gerda gave me a zero for failing to pay attention. Of course, everyone who saw it happen and who heard about it later assumed I was in a daze because of what had happened between Kent and me. Kent and, especially, Megan Stein really enjoyed my awkward moment. I saw all the smiling, laughing faces looking my way
later at lunch, too.
Cassie’s right about this school and the students attending it, I thought angrily. They don’t have class. Maybe I’m better off being a snob like she is. I won’t beg for anyone’s friendship. I even considered going back to Mother and asking her to agree to enroll us in private school. It wasn’t a question of the money. We could afford to have both Cassie and me in private school. Mother was just adamant that we would have a better understanding of what she called ‘the real world’ if we weren’t so isolated. If this is the real world, I thought, looking at my fellow students who were enjoying my discomfort so much, then I’d rather be isolated.
I was shocked by Cassie’s reaction when I described what had happened to me in social studies class and why. If anything, I had expected she would repeat all she had told me about the public school and might even go with me to plead for our being transferred to a private school, but instead, she blamed me.
“I told you not to dwell on Mother like this, didn’t I? I told you that doesn’t do anyone any good.”
“But … you’re doting on her, preparing her breakfasts, her lunches, aren’t you?”
“I’m doing it, but I’m not behaving as if she is suffering from some terminal illness, Semantha, and I don’t think about her all day here in school. You come home with this sort of a long face every day, you’ll upset Daddy. Grow up. Be stronger. Everything is going to work out just fine.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what to think anymore,” I whined. “You always warn me about ignoring reality, putting my head in the sand like an ostrich, living in a fantasy.”
“You don’t have to do that. Just try to be more mature about it. Don’t act like a child and cry.”
“I don’t cry.”
“You look like you’re just about to, and Daddy will easily see that, and that will make him worry even more, thank you. Do you want that? Well? Do you?”
“No.”
“Then wash off that look of self-pity. Just go through the day doing the things you’re supposed to do, and leave Mother’s health up to her doctor. They’re supposed to be going there this afternoon,” she added.
“Oh, good,” I said. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more like you.”
“Exactly,” she told me.
Neither Daddy nor Mother was home when we arrived from school. Despite what I had said to Cassie, I was on pins and needles waiting for them to return from the doctor. It was getting very late, too. Cassie was downstairs preparing dinner, in fact, and I was getting ready to join her and set the table. Where could they be?
The moment I heard them come into the house, I charged out of my room to the stairway and came to an abrupt stop.
Daddy was alone. One look at his face told everything.
“Where’s Mother? What happened?” I asked as I rushed down the stairway.
“She was terribly anemic. Dr. Moffet is puzzled, so he’s put her in the hospital for evaluation.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m not sure yet, Semantha.” He pressed a smile onto his face, which was obviously reluctant to take it. “She’ll be all right. They’ll get to the bottom of it quickly.”
We both heard some clatter in the kitchen. He smiled.
“Cassie’s preparing our dinner, huh? I was thinking of taking you both out, but if she’s already made something …”
“I prepared one of your favorite meals, Daddy, veal marsala and couscous,” Cassie said from the kitchen doorway.
If she heard that, she surely heard what was said about Mother, I thought, and waited for her to ask questions, too, but she didn’t. She came out, wiping her hands with a dish towel.
“I imagine you’ve had a very trying time. You should go up and take a hot shower and get comfortable. You can tell us about it all at dinner. Go on,” she ordered, the way Mother would.
He smiled.
“I guess you’re right, angel.” He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek and then started up the stairs, walking slowly. He seemed truly exhausted.
When I glanced at Cassie, I saw she was close to tears. I couldn’t remember when I had last seen her this way.
“Cassie?”
“Poor Daddy,” she said. “All this burden on his shoulders.” She turned quickly and went back to the kitchen.
“Poor Daddy? But what about Mother?” I called after her. She didn’t stop. “What about going to see her?” I asked, but by then, I was asking myself.
At dinner, Cassie was anything but depressed or worried about Mother. Whenever I said or asked anything about her, Cassie gave me a look of reprimand. When we were together for a moment in the kitchen, she whispered, “Can’t you see how he’s tottering on the brink of a breakdown? Try to distract him, get him to think of other things, Semantha. Stop asking and talking about Mother!”
“But …”
“No buts, Semantha. Christmas trees, you’re getting to be more of a burden than Mother,” she added.
Stunned, I stood there looking at her. How was I more of a burden, and how could she refer to Mother as a burden, anyway?
She sighed deeply. “Just go back in there and talk about something pleasant. Ask him about the upcoming gala. Talk about Uncle Perry, if you want, but just don’t harp on Mother right now. Go on. I’ll be right there.”
I returned to the dining room, but I was very nervous. Surely, I couldn’t hide my feelings and fears from Daddy. Somehow, however, he didn’t appear to notice. Despite what I said, he still talked about Mother.
“I’ll be going up there right after dinner,” he told me.
“Shouldn’t we go with you, Daddy?”
“No. You two just take care of your schoolwork. I won’t be that long. She has to rest. I just don’t understand …” he said, shaking his head.
Just then, Cassie came from the kitchen with a surprise. Even I didn’t know she had baked Daddy’s favorite cake, a chocolate angel-food cake dripping with strawberry syrup. I remembered when Mother had taught her how to make it. A big smile traveled from Daddy’s lips to his eyes.
“Cassie, you outdid yourself,” he declared. She put the cake down at the center of the table and stood back, admiring it as if it were truly a work of art.
“I hope you like it, Daddy.”
“Like it? I love it,” he said.
She hurried to cut and serve him a piece and waited as he tasted it.
“It’s wonderful, Cassie. If I didn’t know better, I’d think your mother was in that kitchen.”
She looked at me, and her face blossomed into the brightest smile I could remember. “Thank you, Daddy,” she said.
“Semantha, cut yourself a piece,” Daddy said. “You don’t want to miss this.”
I had some, and it was as good as, if not better than, Mother’s cake. I couldn’t help but continue to be impressed with Cassie. She always managed to rise to an occasion, have a solution. Afterward, she hurried to the front door and stood there, making sure Daddy put on his scarf.
“It’s nippy tonight,” she told him.
He laughed and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll be back soon,” he said. “I can’t wait to tell your mother how well you’re taking care of us, Cassie. She’ll be very pleased.”
Cassie nodded, flashed a look of satisfaction my way, and watched Daddy leave. For a few moments, she just stood there at the door. This time, when she turned around, she looked quite different. She looked as if she had aged years. She pulled her shoulders back and glared at me.
“What are you doing standing there like that? Did you finish cleaning off the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher?”
“Yes.”
“Then go do your homework, and don’t spend any time on the phone gossiping.”
“I don’t gossip on the phone. Who would I talk to now, anyway?”
“Never mind what you do and don’t do, Semantha. Just go do what you should do. Go.”
Why was she behaving like that? I wondered, but I didn’t argue. I sh
rugged and went up to my room. I didn’t need her to tell me to do my homework. She knew that. Just for spite, I procrastinated, fiddling with my hair, thinking about makeup, and doing my nails. Finally, realizing I was only spiting myself, I started my schoolwork. I heard her come upstairs, but I didn’t hear her going to her room, so I went to the door and looked out. I saw her going into Mother and Daddy’s bedroom. Before I could call to her, she closed the door.
What was she doing now? I wondered. I stood there in my doorway, waiting and waiting. My curiosity aroused, I walked down the hallway to our parents’ bedroom. I stood for a moment listening. It sounded as if Cassie was talking. Was she on the phone? Was she talking to Daddy at the hospital? Had she gone in there to prevent me from hearing the conversation? I slowly reached for the doorknob, but my fingers trembled. She would hate my bursting in on her. Instead, I knocked. Her talking stopped. I knocked again.
“Cassie?”
She didn’t respond, but after a few moments, she pulled the door open.
“What now, Semantha?”
“I … why are you in here?”
“What are you doing, following me around the house?”
“No. I heard you come up, and I was waiting for you and saw you go in here.”
Looking past her, I saw that the bed was unmade. She caught my gaze and shook her head.
“If you must know every little thing, Semantha, I was in here fixing up the bedroom for Daddy. Obviously, having to take Mother to the doctor and then the hospital, he had no opportunity to get things organized. I’m about to make the bed now. Are you satisfied?”
“I just wondered. Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes, go back to your room, finish your homework, and prepare for bed. I’ll come in to say good night.”
“What?” What did she mean, she would come in to say good night?
“To calm you down, Semantha.”
“But I thought we’d wait up for Daddy.”
“Who knows how long he’ll be? If he comes back soon, we’ll see him.”