CHAPTER XII.
"I lay on my straw, but I could not sleep. I thought of the occurrencesof the day. What chiefly struck me was the gentle manners of thesepeople; and I longed to join them, but dared not. I remembered too wellthe treatment I had suffered the night before from the barbarousvillagers, and resolved, whatever course of conduct I might hereafterthink it right to pursue, that for the present I would remain quietly inmy hovel, watching, and endeavouring to discover the motives whichinfluenced their actions.
"The cottagers arose the next morning before the sun. The young womanarranged the cottage, and prepared the food; and the youth departedafter the first meal.
"This day was passed in the same routine as that which preceded it. Theyoung man was constantly employed out of doors, and the girl in variouslaborious occupations within. The old man, whom I soon perceived to beblind, employed his leisure hours on his instrument or in contemplation.Nothing could exceed the love and respect which the younger cottagersexhibited towards their venerable companion. They performed towards himevery little office of affection and duty with gentleness; and herewarded them by his benevolent smiles.
"They were not entirely happy. The young man and his companion oftenwent apart, and appeared to weep. I saw no cause for their unhappiness;but I was deeply affected by it. If such lovely creatures weremiserable, it was less strange that I, an imperfect and solitary being,should be wretched. Yet why were these gentle beings unhappy? Theypossessed a delightful house (for such it was in my eyes) and everyluxury; they had a fire to warm them when chill, and delicious viandswhen hungry; they were dressed in excellent clothes; and, still more,they enjoyed one another's company and speech, interchanging each daylooks of affection and kindness. What did their tears imply? Did theyreally express pain? I was at first unable to solve these questions; butperpetual attention and time explained to me many appearances which wereat first enigmatic.
"A considerable period elapsed before I discovered one of the causes ofthe uneasiness of this amiable family: it was poverty; and they sufferedthat evil in a very distressing degree. Their nourishment consistedentirely of the vegetables of their garden, and the milk of one cow,which gave very little during the winter, when its masters couldscarcely procure food to support it. They often, I believe, suffered thepangs of hunger very poignantly, especially the two younger cottagers;for several times they placed food before the old man, when theyreserved none for themselves.
"This trait of kindness moved me sensibly. I had been accustomed, duringthe night, to steal a part of their store for my own consumption; butwhen I found that in doing this I inflicted pain on the cottagers, Iabstained, and satisfied myself with berries, nuts, and roots, which Igathered from a neighbouring wood.
"I discovered also another means through which I was enabled to assisttheir labours. I found that the youth spent a great part of each day incollecting wood for the family fire; and, during the night, I often tookhis tools, the use of which I quickly discovered, and brought homefiring sufficient for the consumption of several days.
"I remember, the first time that I did this, the young woman, when sheopened the door in the morning, appeared greatly astonished on seeing agreat pile of wood on the outside. She uttered some words in a loudvoice, and the youth joined her, who also expressed surprise. Iobserved, with pleasure, that he did not go to the forest that day, butspent it in repairing the cottage, and cultivating the garden.
"By degrees I made a discovery of still greater moment. I found thatthese people possessed a method of communicating their experience andfeelings to one another by articulate sounds. I perceived that the wordsthey spoke sometimes, produced pleasure or pain, smiles or sadness, inthe minds and countenances of the hearers. This was indeed a godlikescience, and I ardently desired to become acquainted with it. But I wasbaffled in every attempt I made for this purpose. Their pronunciationwas quick; and the words they uttered, not having any apparentconnection with visible objects, I was unable to discover any clue bywhich I could unravel the mystery of their reference. By greatapplication, however, and after having remained during the space ofseveral revolutions of the moon in my hovel, I discovered the names thatwere given to some of the most familiar objects of discourse; I learnedand applied the words, _fire_, _milk_, _bread_, and _wood_. I learnedalso the names of the cottagers themselves. The youth and his companionhad each of them several names, but the old man had only one, which was_father_. The girl was called _sister_, or _Agatha_; and the youth_Felix_, _brother_, or _son_. I cannot describe the delight I felt whenI learned the ideas appropriated to each of these sounds, and was ableto pronounce them. I distinguished several other words, without beingable as yet to understand or apply them; such as _good_, _dearest_,_unhappy_.
"I spent the winter in this manner. The gentle manners and beauty of thecottagers greatly endeared them to me: when they were unhappy, I feltdepressed; when they rejoiced, I sympathised in their joys. I saw fewhuman beings beside them; and if any other happened to enter thecottage, their harsh manners and rude gait only enhanced to me thesuperior accomplishments of my friends. The old man, I could perceive,often endeavoured to encourage his children, as sometimes I found thathe called them, to cast off their melancholy. He would talk in acheerful accent, with an expression of goodness that bestowed pleasureeven upon me. Agatha listened with respect, her eyes sometimes filledwith tears, which she endeavoured to wipe away unperceived; but Igenerally found that her countenance and tone were more cheerful afterhaving listened to the exhortations of her father. It was not thus withFelix. He was always the saddest of the group; and, even to myunpractised senses, he appeared to have suffered more deeply than hisfriends. But if his countenance was more sorrowful, his voice was morecheerful than that of his sister, especially when he addressed the oldman.
"I could mention innumerable instances, which, although slight, markedthe dispositions of these amiable cottagers. In the midst of poverty andwant, Felix carried with pleasure to his sister the first little whiteflower that peeped out from beneath the snowy ground. Early in themorning, before she had risen, he cleared away the snow that obstructedher path to the milk-house, drew water from the well, and brought thewood from the out-house, where, to his perpetual astonishment, he foundhis store always replenished by an invisible hand. In the day, Ibelieve, he worked sometimes for a neighbouring farmer, because he oftenwent forth, and did not return until dinner, yet brought no wood withhim. At other times he worked in the garden; but, as there was little todo in the frosty season, he read to the old man and Agatha.
"This reading had puzzled me extremely at first; but, by degrees, Idiscovered that he uttered many of the same sounds when he read, as whenhe talked. I conjectured, therefore, that he found on the paper signsfor speech which he understood, and I ardently longed to comprehendthese also; but how was that possible, when I did not even understandthe sounds for which they stood as signs? I improved, however, sensiblyin this science, but not sufficiently to follow up any kind ofconversation, although I applied my whole mind to the endeavour: for Ieasily perceived that, although I eagerly longed to discover myself tothe cottagers, I ought not to make the attempt until I had first becomemaster of their language; which knowledge might enable me to make themoverlook the deformity of my figure; for with this also the contrastperpetually presented to my eyes had made me acquainted.
"I had admired the perfect forms of my cottagers--their grace, beauty,and delicate complexions: but how was I terrified, when I viewed myselfin a transparent pool! At first I started back, unable to believe thatit was indeed I who was reflected in the mirror; and when I became fullyconvinced that I was in reality the monster that I am, I was filled withthe bitterest sensations of despondence and mortification. Alas! I didnot yet entirely know the fatal effects of this miserable deformity.
"As the sun became warmer, and the light of day longer, the snowvanished, and I beheld the bare trees and the black earth. From thistime Felix was more employed; and the heart-moving indications ofimpending fam
ine disappeared. Their food, as I afterwards found, wascoarse, but it was wholesome; and they procured a sufficiency of it.Several new kinds of plants sprung up in the garden, which they dressed;and these signs of comfort increased daily as the season advanced.
"The old man, leaning on his son, walked each day at noon, when it didnot rain, as I found it was called when the heavens poured forth itswaters. This frequently took place; but a high wind quickly dried theearth, and the season became far more pleasant than it had been.
"My mode of life in my hovel was uniform. During the morning, Iattended the motions of the cottagers; and when they were dispersed invarious occupations, I slept: the remainder of the day was spent inobserving my friends. When they had retired to rest, if there was anymoon, or the night was star-light, I went into the woods, and collectedmy own food and fuel for the cottage. When I returned, as often as itwas necessary, I cleared their path from the snow, and performed thoseoffices that I had seen done by Felix. I afterwards found that theselabours, performed by an invisible hand, greatly astonished them; andonce or twice I heard them, on these occasions, utter the words _good__spirit_, _wonderful_; but I did not then understand the significationof these terms.
"My thoughts now became more active, and I longed to discover themotives and feelings of these lovely creatures; I was inquisitive toknow why Felix appeared so miserable, and Agatha so sad. I thought(foolish wretch!) that it might be in my power to restore happiness tothese deserving people. When I slept, or was absent, the forms of thevenerable blind father, the gentle Agatha, and the excellent Felix,flitted before me. I looked upon them as superior beings, who would bethe arbiters of my future destiny. I formed in my imagination a thousandpictures of presenting myself to them, and their reception of me. Iimagined that they would be disgusted, until, by my gentle demeanour andconciliating words, I should first win their favour, and afterwardstheir love.
"These thoughts exhilarated me, and led me to apply with fresh ardour tothe acquiring the art of language. My organs were indeed harsh, butsupple; and although my voice was very unlike the soft music of theirtones, yet I pronounced such words as I understood with tolerable ease.It was as the ass and the lap-dog; yet surely the gentle ass whoseintentions were affectionate, although his manners were rude, deservedbetter treatment than blows and execration.
"The pleasant showers and genial warmth of spring greatly altered theaspect of the earth. Men, who before this change seemed to have been hidin caves, dispersed themselves, and were employed in various arts ofcultivation. The birds sang in more cheerful notes, and the leaves beganto bud forth on the trees. Happy, happy earth! fit habitation for gods,which, so short a time before, was bleak, damp, and unwholesome. Myspirits were elevated by the enchanting appearance of nature; the pastwas blotted from my memory, the present was tranquil, and the futuregilded by bright rays of hope, and anticipations of joy."