room.
I’m dessert? Nice of Caleb to make me part of dinner. Bastard!
I struggled to raise myself, pulling my legs together and bending my knees up so my ankles hid my swollen sex. My back remained stuck to the linen cloth. My wrists stayed pinned to the table over my head.
Caleb’s voice filled my left ear, “It’s your turn to reciprocate, Kitten.”
What the hell does he mean?
My body was pulled up to sitting. Again, the plug shifted. A spasm shot through my pussy, making me gasp. My wrists were loosed, and my hands placed on Kid’s loin cloth. The blindfold remained in place. His upper body heat reached out to me. He smelled sweet, but unnatural, as though someone had covered him in something scented. I preferred the way Caleb smelled.
I moved one hand around to feel Kid’s position. His knees stuck out in front, his buttocks sat on his ankles. I slid my hand down his muscled arm to find his wrists had been tied behind his back. My fingers traced his chest and released the clamps from his nipples, tossing them away. His heavy exhale moistened my face.
So, this is what I’m supposed to do? Perform?!?
I was apprehensive in the extreme. I had only done this twice before, and only with Caleb. I couldn’t believe he was going to let me do this – make me do this. I could feel my lip tremble. I could feel the tears waiting in my throat, but then I thought about Caleb and his night with Celia.
I remembered my jealousy and my rage. I wanted Caleb to feel those things. I wanted him to watch me give to someone else what I felt in my heart had been reserved only for him. If he cared for me at all, I knew this was a sure way to find out. I took several deep breaths and prepared myself for what I was about to do.
“I guess you do want revenge,” Ruthless Me, whispered.
You bet your sweet ass, I do.
Kid’s chest pounded beneath my trembling right hand. His hardness throbbed against my left palm. I slid my legs underneath me and raised my upper body to meet his. I pressed my breasts against his chest and his breath caught. My left palm felt a shift, a thickening, his cock barely contained. I licked his chest, his nipples, as far up as I could reach on his neck, until he bent down to me.
Our lips touched ever so gently. The taste and smell of me lingered in his mouth as his tongue slid between my lips. I shuddered, and he pressed his chest harder into mine, our lips taking in each other.
We were only kissing for a few seconds before my head was snapped back by my hair and Caleb’s voice filled my head in a growl against my ear, “No kissing on the lips.” He pinched my buttocks so hard I couldn’t help but cry out.
I jerked into Kid and nearly tipped us both over. Kid’s strength steadied me. I paused, resting against him, before I slowly resumed kissing him. I let my mouth travel along his chest, shoulders, arms, and nipples before making my way up to his neck. I felt him bending his head down toward me and I pushed him back with both hands against his chest.
The kissing show is over, buddy!
Kid’s hips rutted against mine, his loin cloth totally deformed. My arms went around his waist, my fingers followed the thong of the loin cloth, and my breasts molded against his belly. It tied in the back, which only took seconds for me to untie. The thong immediately opened and released his penned-up cock. My hands felt its throbbing length and width. His balls rest against the pouch of the loin cloth. I carefully pulled the cloth away.
We froze. Am I really going to do this? I couldn’t believe how far I’d come. Over the course of a few months, I had gone from being afraid of sex, to performing a sexual act with a stranger in front of an entire room of derelicts. Kid groaned and pressed his warm cock against my hand in a wordless plea for me to set him free from his sexual purgatory. How well I knew the feeling.
Kid sucked in his breath when I kissed the tip of his cock. He tasted different than Caleb, but it probably had more to do with the fact he had been prepared. He tasted sweet, as if someone had covered him in some sort of spicy cinnamon concoction. It wasn’t unpleasant. I spread a bead of precome with my lips and tongue and he became both salty and sweet in my mouth. As I slid my tongue down the length of him, Kid’s body shuddered. He let out a deep breath and moaned. His hips rocked toward my mouth.
Is this what you want, Caleb? I hope you’re watching you son of a bitch. I want you breathless with want. I want you to see how I please a man. Will that make you want me?
The blindfold made it easy for me to imagine Caleb in Kid’s place. I imagined hearing his ragged breath in my ears, his body trembling with desire and need for me. My body responded, my beaded nipples yearned for attention, and my sex pulsed to the rhythm of Kid’s thrusting hips.
My lips surrounded the head of Kid’s cock, and my tongue played with both the underside of its rim and the slit at the top. Kid panted heavily, his hips thrusting harder, until his cock slid further into my mouth and my tongue touched it everywhere. His body stiffened, his breath sucked in, and so did the breath of the room. For a moment, time suspended. Then, he moaned.
I made my move. I squeezed my fingers around his cock low, and pumped him in time with my mouth, drawing him in and out. He gasped and I heard hands kneading and rubbing his chest. He thrust into my mouth faster, my mouth sucked, my tongue stroked, my pussy screamed for its own release. My hips gyrated against the air, until someone splayed my legs apart and slid a hand through the back of my thighs, squeezing my nether lips.
It stopped me for a nanosecond, until a couple fingers found my clit and began rubbing. My hips thrust to match Kid’s. His cock pulsed, he thrust a final time, and spilled into my mouth. I milked him dry as waves of heat spun through me. A palm pressed against my ass, shifting the plug and I screamed with my lips still around Kid’s cock. The wretched fingers continued rubbing my swollen clit.
Oh god, Caleb! Yes. Please, keep going.
Wave after wave of sensation touched every part of my body, but Caleb’s fingers on my clit and his palm against my ass were relentless. My body heated up again, as did Kid’s. He heard me, felt my tongue, my breath, and my moans of ecstasy against his still throbbing cock. His hips thrust a little more, and I squeezed and sucked a little more, imagining Caleb in front of me, as well as behind.
Kid moved his cock in and out of my mouth. I could barely hold it with my hands, he moved so fast and rough.
I rocked against Caleb’s hand, matching Kid’s rhythm. My breath came quick and hard. I was barely able to breathe, but I didn’t care. My mouth was full. My ass was full. My clit was ready to explode. Caleb’s fingers were skilled. They knew my pussy. I came in a fit of tears.
Chapter Nineteen
There was no applause. Just the sound of Livvie’s broken sobs and Kid’s muted pants.
Caleb felt…well, he didn’t know how he felt. He only knew he wanted Livvie. He wanted her close and away from all the prying eyes around them. Rafiq had not arrived and Caleb was overwhelmed with anger and regret in addition to an influx of emotions he had no time to analyze.
“I’m taking her upstairs,” Caleb said, gathering Livvie’s naked and quivering body into his arms. He noticed Kid’s eyes, glazed with unshed tears, and harboring a more than guilty expression. If Caleb didn’t know better, he’d say the boy was smitten in the worst way. The very idea seemed to incite his anger and yes, his jealousy. Caleb was teeming with jealousy. If he didn’t get away from Kid soon, Caleb worried he’d be unable to control himself.
She kissed him, he screamed in this head.
She’ll kiss Vladek, too.
Caleb couldn’t think about it. His thoughts were too dangerous. His emotions were too raw and logic was quickly fleeing. Devoid of reason, he could find no cause to keep him from taking Livvie upstairs and fucking her senseless. He wanted to scrub every trace of Kid from her body and clear every memory of him from Livvie’s mind. Caleb wanted her to think only of him, to be, with him.
You can’t do it, can you? You can’t let her go. Find a way, Caleb. Find a way to make Rafiq understand.
Caleb’s thoughts ran wild as he held Livvie to his chest and walked toward his room. His heart pounded a sharp tattoo he could visibly see shifting her in his arms.
Once upstairs, Caleb gently placed Livvie onto his bed. In the short time it had taken him to get to his room she had somehow managed to sob her way into a kind of sleep. Her eyes were closed. Every so often, she would take in a deep breath and her chest shuddered before she exhaled. Caleb looked down at her sleeping form and wondered what she dreamed about in her passed-out state of slumber. Her body jerked, twisting her over onto her back, her nakedness open for the taking. He wanted to take her. His erection pressed into the zipper of his pants, begging for release.
He closed his eyes in order to relax, still standing next to the bed. Her smell permeated his senses, a fragrance light, musky, and all her own. It had pulled him to her earlier tonight. Like a sea siren calling to a sailor, her need compelled him to act. Without thought, he had rolled his sleeves up and dived in with both hands to quench her thirst.
Mine.
The word was a declaration. It rocked him to his very foundation. It was a truth he’d kept hidden for far too long. Caleb didn’t know anything about love, or loving anyone, but he knew…Livvie, was his. He owned her. He possessed her and he knew, with everything he was, he couldn’t give her away.
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!
Rafiq will understand. I’ll make him understand.
Caleb was far from rational. Deep down, he knew Rafiq wouldn’t understand. He would see it as the deepest betrayal. He would demand the impossible of Caleb. Rafiq would try to hurt them both. Caleb pushed those thoughts away.
Before common sense could return, Caleb gently raised Livvie’s hands and untied her wrists. Livvie sighed, and Caleb lied down on top of her in time to watch her eyes flutter open. He stared into her deep, chocolate-colored eyes and saw himself reflected in their depths as she focused on him. A myriad of feelings passed through him, jealousy and possessiveness at the forefront. He needed to make her his: unequivocally and irreversibly.
Livvie’s expression turned inscrutable. She lay under Caleb, her arms limp at her sides, her expressive eyes cold and distant.
Caleb wanted nothing more than to know what she was thinking, but he was too terrified to ask. The feeling of terror was foreign and unwanted. The last time he’d felt it, Livvie was in a house, bleeding, broken, and barely holding on to her life. He’d been terrified then and he’d barely known her. The way he felt for her now paled in comparison. He dared not ask what was in her heart. He knew he couldn’t bear to hear it.
“I can’t stand the smell of him on you,” Caleb sneered.
Tears sprang to Livvie’s eyes and trailed down her temples. She closed her eyes and turned her head away from Caleb.
He put his hand on her face and forced her to face him.
Don’t ask.
Don’t ask.
Fuck! I’m going to ask.
He needed to know. He needed to know if her love for him was real. He needed to know hope was not lost and he could still, against all odds, repair the damage he had done.
“Did you enjoy it?” he asked. He tried not to make it sound like an accusation, but he knew he fell short. Livvie raised her hands to her face, covering her eyes and mouth as she began weeping. Again, Caleb refused to let her hide. He reached for her hands and pressed them into the bed above her.
“Tell me!” he snapped.
“I don’t know what you want me to say!” she cried.
“Tell me the truth! Did you like sucking his dick? Did he eat your pussy better than I do?” Caleb’s thoughts were suddenly murderous. He had meant to be kind, he had meant to be gentle, but it just wasn’t his way. He no longer knew what ‘his way’ was.
“Yes!” Livvie screamed, “Yes, you son-of-a-bitch. I liked it. Isn’t that why you made me do it? So you could parade me around like a trained fucking poodle?”
Caleb saw red. He squeezed Livvie’s wrists until she cried out in pain and he forced himself to let go. Her words hurt him.
Mine! You’re fucking mine!
Caleb pulled away from Livvie and reached for his belt. He unfastened it quickly and pulled it free in one swift jerk. Livvie gasped, scrambling backward across the bedspread. Caleb caught her ankle and dragged her back toward the edge of the bed. She folded her knees and crossed her arms over her breasts.
The plug in Livvie’s ass was clearly visible and the sight sent the strangest series of emotions through him, not the least of which was lust. He leaned forward above her and braced his arm across her legs to keep her bent. He chanced a glance up at her face and saw the terror in her eyes as she strove to remain perfectly still.
He reached down and pressed his palm against the plug. Livvie groaned and shut her eyes, but made no move to stop him. Caleb knew it was cruel to keep her in such a position, but his anger and lust kept him from gentling.
Caleb’s fingers traced the rim of Livvie’s hole, stretched around the plug. “How about this, Kitten? Do you like this? Should I invite everyone downstairs to watch?”
Livvie closed her eyes and turned away with a whimper.
“Look at me,” he said and tugged gently on the plug until she complied. “Do you want me to take this out?”
“Yes, Master,” she whimpered. Tears ran down her temples.
“Ah! It’s Master, now, is it?” he said. “You’re so much more obedient when you’ve something rammed up your ass.” He tugged again.
“Please, don’t! I only did it because you told me to!” she sobbed.
“Quiet! You don’t want to provoke me,” he said. His body trembled with rage.
You’re scaring her, you idiot. You won’t get to her this way.
Caleb knew he was hearing the voice of reason in his head, but he seemed unable to help himself. His fingers traced the edges of the plug, over and over until he could feel Livvie’s hips rocking on their own.
“Tell me you like this,” he said. Lust edged his voice.
“I like it,” she whispered.
Caleb continued his gentle, but sadistic exploration. He watched as Livvie’s tears wet her face, but her teeth nibbled on her lip. She felt pleasure, but she also felt shame. It was a feeling Caleb understood all too well.
Slowly, he pressed on her muscles and pulled on the plug. He wanted it out. He wanted all evidence of the past twenty-four hours stripped away from her body and from his mind.
“Relax,” he snapped, when he felt her tighten up. “Push the plug out,” he ordered.
“I can’t,” Livvie sobbed.
“Push, now!” he said and spanked her upturned ass. It wasn’t much of a slap, but his point was made. Livvie squeezed her eyes shut and pushed at the same time Caleb slid his finger in around the plug to loosen the suction created by Livvie’s ass.
Slowly, he wiggled the plug back and forth as Livvie pushed, until finally, it popped out. “Oh!” Livvie cried out.
As Caleb dispensed with the toy, Livvie turned onto her side and wept into his bedspread. He returned shortly, at a loss for how he wanted to proceed. He needed to make her his. He pulled her up off the bed and turned her toward it. His heart ached when she didn’t resist.
Easy, Caleb. Don’t break her. Win her.
Caleb wrapped his arms around Livvie and pulled her close. He needed her close. She trembled in his arms, her chest heaved with sobs. Caleb buried his nose in her neck and shut his eyes tightly.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know. I know you only did it because I told you to.” Livvie gasped and squirmed in his arms as she tried to turn around, but Caleb held her in place. He needed to say things to her and he couldn’t do it unless his eyes were closed and her body was pressed against his. That was his way.
He’d confessed so many things to her in the dark. He’d whispered to her as she’d slept. He’d held her close to him and fantasized about all the things he wanted and yet felt could never be his. He’d discovered a secret place inside himself in those moments.
He was done fantasizing. He wanted his desires to become reality.
“I’m fucked in the head, Livvie. I know it. I know I’m wrong,” he whispered and held her tighter. She was frozen in his arms.
“I felt like I didn’t have a choice. Felipe’s been watching us since we got here. He has cameras everywhere,” he continued. Livvie gasped. “But I did have a choice. I could have told him to go fuck himself. I could have killed him right then and there – but I didn’t.”
“Rafiq will be here soon and I…. I needed a way to let you go. I needed a way to remind myself I can’t keep you.” Caleb could feel himself getting choked up. His skin crawled with heat and shame. He was weak to express so much, but now the floodgates had opened, he could do nothing but hold tight to Livvie as he was battered against the rocks.
“I’ve lived a horrible life. I’ve done terrible, unspeakable things. You have to know, I’m not sorry. I’ve never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it. The scars on my back are the least of what I’ve suffered. And it’s only because of Rafiq I’m alive.”
“No, Caleb,” Livvie whimpered.
Caleb squeezed her again, too roughly. He loosened his hold when Livvie whined, but he couldn’t let her go. “I don’t know how to make you understand. I don’t know how to tell you how much I owe him. I owe him everything! But God, help me – I can’t….”
He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t tell her how much she had come to mean to him. She could destroy him with her rejection. If she had feigned her feelings for him – if he’d bought into her lies and her quest for freedom…. He wasn’t sure what he would do. He could hurt her.
Mine!
“I couldn’t stand to see you with that motherfucker downstairs. I wanted to beat him unconscious. Even now, I can smell him on you and it makes me sick!” He growled.
Livvie cried. She struggled in Caleb’s grasp until she freed her arms. She placed them over his hands and squeezed them. “I didn’t want to,” she sobbed. “But…you’re just…you’re all over the place! One minute, I think…you must feel something. You have to care! But the next…. Caleb, you’re awful. You’re cruel and you…you break my heart.”
Caleb held her as she sobbed in his arms and never had he wished he could just let go, so much. He wished he were capable of letting everything come out of him. He wanted to cry. He could feel the tears in his throat. Everything hurt, his heart, his throat, even his eyes as he kept them tightly closed. His arms ached with the intensity of his hold on Livvie, but he couldn’t let it out. He’d trained himself for far too long and unlike the job he’d done with Livvie, he’d trained himself much too well.
“I can’t take it anymore, Caleb. I’ve tried, but I can’t,” she sobbed. “Every time I think you’re coming around, every time I let myself hope, you crush me. You rip everything out! Sometimes I think I fucking hate you. Sometimes I know I hate you. And still! Still, Caleb – I love you. I put my faith in you. I believe you when you say it’s all going to be alright.”
“I’m done,” she said with a determination capable of stopping Caleb’s heart. “I’m done, Caleb. I’ll kill myself!”
Mine!
Pure rage slammed into Caleb. He turned her in his arms and pushed her onto the bed. His body came crashing down on top of her and he held her down. “Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare say shit like that to me. That’s the coward’s way out and you know it,” he spat.
Livvie’s eyes burned with a rage to match Caleb’s own. He could see it. He could feel it. “You’re the coward, Caleb. I’m not afraid to tell you how I feel. I’m not afraid to admit, that despite everything you’ve done to me, I love you.”
She loves me.
“Do you have any idea how stupid I feel confessing to you?” she continued, “You kidnapped me! You’ve humiliated me, beat me, nearly gotten me raped, and just a moment ago you had me suck a complete stranger’s dick in a room full of twisted perverts. I love you, but I’m not the coward, Caleb. I deserve to live or die on my own fucking terms.”
Caleb stared down into Livvie’s face and the steel he saw behind her eyes shook him to his foundation for the second time. Livvie was no coward. He knew it, had even told himself he’d never accuse her of such a thing again, and this had been why. Livvie would do it. She would end her own life. Caleb couldn’t breathe.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. It seemed to be all he could say, all he was capable of saying. He relaxed his hold on her and rested his head next to hers on the bed. He made himself breathe, past the pain, past the anguish lying in wait in his throat. Slowly, deeply, he breathed.
They lay in silence for several minutes. Caleb could feel Livvie’s tears as they slid down her face; they wet his own. It was as close to crying as Caleb could get and for a moment he imagined they were his tears. They were his confession. They said all the things he couldn’t…because he was a coward.
Slowly, Livvie stirred. Caleb wasn’t sure what to expect, but then he felt her arms slide around him. Caleb’s stomach dipped, his heart felt squeezed. She shouldn’t be holding him. He knew it was his place to comfort her since he was the one responsible for all of her suffering. Still, Caleb was selfish. He let her be the one to comfort them.
“I thought about you,” she said numbly, “while he was touching me. I thought about you.” Caleb pressed into her in a silent plea for her to stop talking. He didn’t want to hear this, but Livvie was done listening to him, and he knew it.