“Are you petting her?” Tilda wrinkled her nose and pushed Ember’s arm down. “She’s not a cat, Ember. ”
As trackers, we were the lowest priority when it came to getting food, so when we had just gotten our second course—a squash stew that was meant to be served hot and thick but had grown cold and had been watered down to stretch it by the time it got to us—the Kings and Queens had already finished their meal.
King Evert stood up, clinking his glass to draw attention to himself. The chatter among the guests died down, replaced by the sound of chairs sliding against the wooden floor as everyone turned to look at him.
Most of the room was lit by candles on the tables and filling the massive iron chandeliers that hung from the ceiling, and while everyone could see, it was somewhat dim. But a bright electric bulb shone above the head table like a spotlight, and when the King stood up, the silver and diamonds on his tall crown glimmered like a disco ball. He wore the white suit he’d gotten married in, and it reminded me of what a Disney prince would wear, only with far more jewels and adornments, making it even more cartoonish than the actual cartoons.
“I want to thank you all for coming out tonight. ” Evert spoke loudly, so his voice would carry throughout the cavernous ballroom. I could hear it surprisingly well, even tucked away in the corner. “I know some of you have traveled great distances to be here with us, celebrating this special night with my wife and I, and we want to thank you all.
“I’ve never been much for public speaking, but I know my wife has a few words she’d like to say. ” He smiled and gestured to Queen Mina, who stood up next to him.
The bodice of her white gown was covered in so many diamonds I wasn’t sure how she was able to move in it. Not to mention her jewelry. Her necklace was covered in such massive rocks, I wouldn’t be surprised if it weighed ten pounds or more.
“As the King said, we both want to thank you all for joining us,” Mina said. Her voice was softer, but she managed to project it well.
I’d heard her speak many times before, and I’d come to notice that when she talked in private, like in the meeting on Thursday, she had a normal Kanin accent. But when she spoke now, in front of larger crowds, she suddenly had a mild British accent, as if that would make her sound more proper somehow.
“Over the past five years, I have had the pleasure of being your Queen and Evert’s bride. ” She smiled broadly when she spoke, and her hands were folded neatly over her abdomen. “And I can honestly say that these past five years have been far happier and far greater than I ever could’ve imagined.
“Growing up in Iskyla, I could only dream of a life like this,” she went on. “For those of you that may be unfamiliar with Iskyla, it’s a small Kanin village that’s even farther north than Doldastam, so it’s even colder and more isolated, if you can believe that. ”
This was met with a few chuckles, especially from other Kanins who knew of Iskyla. I’d never been there before, but most people hadn’t. From what I’d heard about it, it didn’t have any modern amenities like electricity or working phones. Plus, it was in the Arctic.
“My parents died when I was very young, but I still dreamed of getting out. I just knew that I was destined for something more,” Queen Mina told us all emphatically. “Then, in the cold dead of winter five years ago, I was invited to a ball in this very room, as were so many of you, though I didn’t expect much. ”
The ball Mina referred to had been actually very Cinderella-esque, as was much of her life, apparently. King Evert’s predecessor, his cousin Elliot Strinne, had died rather suddenly with no wife or immediate heirs. This had led to a heated exchange among the royalty, with some lobbying for Elliot’s young niece to take the throne, before the Chancellor finally decided that the then-twenty-three-year-old Evert would be more suited to rule the kingdom than a child.
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After Evert had been King for ten years and still had no bride and no heirs, the leaders had begun to worry. They didn’t want to put the kingdom in turmoil, the way it had been after Elliot’s death. So they set up a ball where the eligible women were to come to meet the King, and that’s how Mina met Evert.
“That night was like a fairy tale. ” Mina smiled and touched her husband’s shoulder. “The instant I laid eyes on him, I was in love. Luckily for me, he felt the same way. Four short months later, we were wed. Every day since then has been the happiest day of my life, and I can only hope that the next five years of marriage will be just as magical as the first. ”
She beamed down at King Evert, giving him a look so sweet and adoring that it was almost uncomfortable to watch. And then, quietly, almost too quietly for us to hear, she said, “I am so grateful for you, my love. ”
Since that seemed to be the end of her speech, the crowd applauded warmly for her, and she offered us all a wide smile before sitting back down next to her husband.
“She’s lying,” Ridley said as he clapped halfheartedly for her. “She doesn’t love him. ”
“Why do you say that?” Ember asked.
He shook his head and went back to spooning the now-freezing-cold stew. “Nobody loves anybody that much. ”
“And here you were going on and on about true love last night,” I said, surprised by the bitter edge of my own words.
“Was I?” He lifted his head, resting his eye on me, and I quickly turned back toward my own stew. “I remember saying something about settling down, but nothing about true love. ”
“Same thing,” I mumbled.
“I don’t know. Some people love each other that much,” Ember insisted. “I think the Trylle King and Queen are super into each other. ”
“I’m not saying that people don’t fall in love. People fall madly in love with each other all the time. But that right there”—Ridley gestured behind him, toward where King Evert and Queen Mina were seated—“that was all an act. ”
“I think you’re right,” Tilda agreed, talking about the royalty in a way that was unusual for her. When I looked at her in surprise, she shrugged one shoulder simply and took a sip of her water. “Well, he is right. She was a small-town girl with big dreams, and marrying into money and royalty was her way to get what she wanted. ”
“That’s all I’m saying. ” Ridley leaned back in his seat, a self-satisfied grin on his face. Since Tilda so rarely chimed in on matters like this, having her on his side seemed like a boon.
“Good for her, then,” I replied glibly.
“Good for her?” Ember laughed. “You think it’s good that she tricked the King?”
“She didn’t trick him,” I corrected her. “He needed a beautiful wife to bear him children, and that’s what he got. Well, no kids yet, but she’s still young. She wanted to make a better life for herself, and she found a way. Maybe not the way that you or I would’ve chosen, but it was one way to do it. ”
“Would you do that?” Ridley asked. “Would you marry someone you didn’t love to advance your life or your career?”
“No, of course I wouldn’t,” I said.
“Would you even marry someone if you did love them?” he asked. I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to look at him, preferring to finish my wine in big gulps.
Before I could answer, Evert announced that it was time for the dance, and waiters came out to start clearing the tables and moving them out of the way so there would be more room for people to dance.
Then I didn’t have time to worry about Ridley’s questions or the way his eyes seemed to look straight through me. I had to hurry and help the waiters take our plates away, and then I was on my feet with the other trackers, helping to stack chairs and push tables to the side of the room.
But that was just as well, because I had no idea how I would answer.
THIRTEEN
impropriety
At the end of the ballroom, a small orchestra played a mix of contemporary human music along with Kanin folk songs. A singer accompanied them, and
she had a pristine voice with an operatic range. The songs would segue seamlessly from the Beatles to a Kanin love ballad, sung entirely in its original low Swedish, and then would switch to a beautiful rendition of Adele.
It was still early in the evening, so the dance floor was relatively full. Most couples swayed to the music, but some glided across the floor with the elegant, practiced steps that came from years of training. The royalty, especially those from Doldastam, lived pampered, sheltered lives with much free time on their hands, so many of them took up ballroom dancing to fill the time.
As the newest returning changeling and one of the highest-ranking Markis, Linus attracted a lot of attention, and his dance card was full. While he could be clumsy, and did trip over his own feet a few times, his dance partners didn’t seem to mind.
I watched him from the sidelines, ready to swoop in if he needed me, but he seemed to be doing okay on his own. His dance moves might have been lacking, but he made up for it by being nice and rather charming, in an unassuming kind of way.
Tilda and Ember didn’t have any charges to watch out for, so they were free to hang out with me, standing along the wall at the edge of the dance floor. Tilda wore a short flapper-esque dress that showed off her long legs, and as she swayed, the silver tassels would swing and bounce along with her. Even though we were supposed to be standing at attention at the side of the ballroom, Tilda couldn’t help herself. She loved to dance far too much. With her eyes closed, her head tilted back slightly, letting her long brown hair flow behind her, she moved gracefully in time with the music.
“I wish I could dance,” Ember lamented.
Tilda opened her eyes and glanced down at Ember. “Just dance. It’s fun even if you’re alone. ”
Ember stared forlornly out at the crowded dance floor. “When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was go to the palace and attend one of these balls. And now that I am, I’m stuck at the side, unable to join in or have fun. ”
“You’ve joined in. You got to have a nice meal, you got all dolled up, and you’re listening to the music,” I pointed out, trying cheer her up. “You’re a part of it. ”
“Maybe,” Ember said doubtfully, but then she shook her head. “No, you’re right. I guess I just spent too much time daydreaming about dancing with Prince Charming. Or Princess Charming, as it were. ”
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As the song ended, Linus politely extracted himself from the arms of a lovely but clingy Marksinna in her early teens, and he came over to where I was standing with Ember and Tilda. His cheeks were flushed, but he had a goofy, lopsided grin plastered on his face.
“How are you doing?” I asked Linus as he reached us.
“Good. I mean, I think I am. ” He ran a hand through his dark hair and his smile turned sheepish. “Did I seem to be making any mistakes?”
“No, you look like you’re doing really good,” I assured him. “Are you having a nice time?”
“Yeah. It’s a little weird dancing with so many strangers, especially when I’ve never been that into dancing, but most of the people are nice. ” He glanced back toward where his parents were seated at a table. “And my parents seem really proud. ”
“They are,” I said.
Linus turned back to me, his eyes twinkling. “Are you having fun? You look kinda left out here on the sidelines. ”
“I’m having fun. ” I smiled to prove it to him.
“Why don’t you come dance with me?” Linus suggested. “Cut loose for a minute. ”
“Thank you for asking, but I don’t think I should. ” I demurred as graciously as I could. “It wouldn’t be proper. ”
“Not even for one song?” His eyebrows lifted as he stared down hopefully at me, making him appear more like an excited puppy than a teenage boy.
I shook my head ruefully. “I’m afraid not. ”
“I’ll dance with you,” Ember piped in and stepped closer to him.
“Ember,” I admonished her, but Linus had already extended his arm to her.
She waved me off as she looped her arm through his. “It’s one song. It’ll be fine. ”
“That’s the spirit. ” Linus grinned and led her out to the dance floor.
I looked to Tilda for support, hoping she would back me up even though Ember had already disappeared into the crowd and it’d be too late to stop her. But Tilda just shrugged, still swaying her hips along to the music.
“Let them have their fun,” she said, smiling as she watched them twirl clumsily away from us.
“Ember is such a rebel sometimes. ” I stood on my tiptoes, craning my neck in an attempt to keep my eyes on Linus and Ember as they weaved in between other couples.
“They’re fine,” Ridley said. I’d been so busy watching Linus and Ember that I hadn’t noticed Ridley come up beside me. “I doubt anyone will even notice her dancing. Everyone’s having fun, and most of the royals are getting drunk on wine. ”
“Linus actually asked Bryn to dance first, but she declined,” Tilda told him, ratting on me even though I knew I’d done the right thing.
She had a mischievous glint in her eyes—parties like this always brought it out in her. While she hadn’t had anything to drink tonight, Tilda seemed to get drunk on good music and good dancing. Her relaxed elegance made me feel so rigid in comparison.
“You probably should’ve said yes. He could actually use a lesson in dance moves. ” Ridley motioned to where Linus stumbled over Ember’s foot, but she helped him keep his balance.
“In private I’ll give him a few pointers,” I said. “But it wouldn’t be proper here. He’s my charge. I shouldn’t do anything that might blur the lines of professionalism. ”
“I love it when you talk clean to me, quoting training manuals like sonnets,” Ridley teased, but I found his usual flirtation off-putting since I didn’t know how to respond.
Seeing him with Juni last night forced me to realize that I had some type of feelings for him. That left me unsure of how to act around him, so I’d rather be around him as little as I possibly could. At least until the feelings went away. And they had to eventually, right?
“There’s nothing wrong with being professional,” I told him coolly with eyes straight ahead, staring at the dance floor.
“There’s nothing wrong with dancing either. ” Ridley moved so he was standing in front of me, forcing me to look at him. “Come on. Why don’t you dance with me?”
“We’re working,” I replied quickly, making him smirk.
“It’s a party, and everyone’s dancing. And as the Rektor, I am your boss. ” He held out his hand to me.
“So this is an order?” I asked, eyeing his outstretched hand and hating how tempted I was to take it.
“If I say no, will you still dance with me?” he asked.
Tilda elbowed me gently in the side. “Just go dance, Bryn. ”
Without thinking, I reached out and took his hand. His hand easily enveloped mine, and it sent flutters through my stomach, which I tried to suppress. His smile widened, and as he led me away, I glanced back over my shoulder at Tilda, who smiled reassuringly at me.
Once we’d lost ourselves in the sea of well-dressed trolls, Ridley stopped and I put my hand on his shoulder. I was careful to keep some distance between us, but when he put his hand on the small of my back, he pulled me closer to him.
“This isn’t so bad, right? Nobody’s gawking at us or chasing us with pitchforks,” Ridley said, smiling down at me as we danced in time with a dramatic cover of “Love Is Blindness. ”
“Not yet, anyway,” I admitted.
I glanced around just to be sure we weren’t getting any dirty looks, but nobody really seemed to be paying us any mind. But I supposed that, based on the formal way both Ridley and I were dressed, and the fact that there were so many royals here from other kingdoms who didn’t know each other, they didn’t realize that we didn’t belong here, dancing alongside them. r />
Ember spotted us through a break in the crowd, and her jaw dropped. Instinctively, I tried to pull away from Ridley, but his hand was unyielding and warm on my back, holding me to him.
“So what’s going on with you?” Ridley asked, and when I looked up, his smile had fallen away and his dark eyes were strangely serious.
“Nothing’s going on. ” I tried to brush him off with an uneasy smile.
“I feel like you’re mad at me. ”
I hedged my answer and lowered my eyes. “Why would I be mad?”
“I don’t know. But you’ve been giving me the cold shoulder all night. ” He paused. “You’ve barely even looked at me. ”
“It’s not like I spend all my time staring at you,” I said, finding it hard to look up at him even now.
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“Bryn. You know what I mean,” he insisted firmly, and I did.
I hadn’t meant to put a wall between us, but I really didn’t know how else to deal with things. He was apparently with Juni now, and even if he wasn’t, he was still my boss, and a tracker getting romantically involved with a Rektor was definitely a bad move, one that could cost us both our jobs. It opened up too many possibilities for corruption, manipulation, and nepotism.
So there was no way Ridley and I could ever be together, even if he wanted to. Or even if I wanted to, and I didn’t. Not really.
I finally willed myself to look at him, meeting his mahogany eyes, even though it made me flush with heat when I did. “I’m not mad at you. I promise. ”
“If I did something to upset you, you can tell me,” he said in a low voice, distressed at the thought that he’d done something to hurt me. “That’s, like, the foundation of our friendship. We’re always honest with each other. ”
“I am,” I lied as convincingly as I could.
“Good,” Ridley said, not because he believed me, but because he didn’t know how else to push me.
“Is this why you asked me to dance?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood. “So you could interrogate me?”
“No. I asked you to dance because I wanted to dance with you,” he said simply. “You’re a good dancer. ”
With that, he extended his arm and I stepped back away from him. Then he pulled me close, twirling me as he did, and I stopped with my back pressed against his chest. His arms were wrapped around me, and his breath felt warm on my neck.
We stayed that way for only a second, our hips swaying slightly, and my heart pounded so loudly I was terrified he could feel it, but I didn’t want to pull away from him. I actually wanted to stay that way forever, with the orchestra swelling, and the singer reaching her crescendo as she warned about the blindness of love. Under the dim candlelight of a chandelier in a crowded ballroom, with Ridley’s arms strong as they crossed over me, my body bound to his, I closed my eyes, wishing the moment would last forever.