Ethan stepped forward, "I got a call about an hour ago from the police, the letters and stuff they sorted out of today's mail had pictures all over of you and Johnny, they want you dead because you and Johnny are engaged, I had an agent dispatched to you at the college immediately, but everything's fine, nothing will hurt you" he said looking at me sternly.
This was all just too weird but to be honest, this would all go away once I broke up with Johnny, they wanted me dead because I was with him well after tonight I wouldn't be with him anyway.
"Right, the agent guy was in the car outside? He was following me around?" I asked frowning, I definitely didn't see anyone following me. Ethan nodded looking at me worriedly, he was really stressed about this for some reason. Johnny kissed me again pulling me into a hug, "I'm so sorry Ali, this is all my fault, someone wants to hurt you because of me, I'm so sorry" he cooed hugging me tightly.
"Johnny don't be silly, this isn't your fault, everything will be fine anyway the police will catch him soon" I said dismissively knowing that it wouldn't matter tomorrow anyway. I pulled back, "I'm going to go and change ok? I had a rough afternoon I just want to sit down and chill in my sweats" I said shrugging. My legs were aching a little from all the dancing this afternoon in preparation for my dance exam next week. Johnny nodded and kissed me lightly again, I kissed him back hating myself for it and then headed upstairs.
After a couple of minutes Ethan snuck into the room as I knew he would. He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall kissing me fiercely pressing his body against mine. I tangled my hands in his hair pulling him closer deepening the kiss. By the time he pulled away we were both breathless. "I've missed you today, I'm sorry about downstairs" I said apologetically thinking about Johnny kissing me.
He shook his head, "I need you to listen to me Lia" he said putting his forehead to mine. He sounded so serious that I started to get a little nervous.
"Ok what's wrong?" I asked tightening my grip on him, for some reason I was suddenly scared of what he was going to say.
"I'm so sorry Lia but I need you to stay with Johnny, you can't move out" he said sternly.
Chapter 17
My heart stopped, he didn't want me, he'd changed his mind and he didn't want to be with me. I closed my eyes as the pain started to rip its way into my heart. I couldn't breathe, how the hell could he do this to me again? Why? What the hell does this boy get out of breaking my heart? Maybe he enjoys it for some sick reason.
I could feel the sob trying to break free so I put my hands on his chest and shoved him away from me with all of my strength making him stumble back a couple of steps because I caught him off guard.
"Get out" I croaked trying not to cry. He stepped forward to me again so I slapped his chest and tried to push him away again using the wall to give me leverage. "Get out! Leave me alone, you're such an asshole Ethan! Why did I trust you? I knew you'd do this to me again I knew it, just go." I cried angrily as the tears finally fell down my face.
"Lia." he said catching my hands and pinning them above my head pressing his body back to mine again keeping me tight against the wall. "Lia listen to me for goodness sake. It's not because I don't want you with me, damn it will you listen?" he asked gripping my hands tighter as I tried to struggle free. I needed to get him the hell away from me. All those promises last night, I knew it was too good to be true, I knew I wasn't that lucky.
"Stop struggling and listen." he demanded. He bent to look into my eyes. "I love you Lia, I want to be with you, please calm down." he said softly. I looked into his eyes as he loosened his grip on my hands. He does want to be with me? I took a deep breath and stopped struggling. He pulled back and wiped my tears away softly, "Please don't ever doubt that I love you again, that hurt me." he said frowning.
I could see the truth there, I'd hurt him doubting him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back to me hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry but you said that and I just thought...." I started but I didn't know why I thought it I should have listened to him, I needed to trust him again not to hurt me. I sighed, "I'm sorry." I kissed the side of his neck.
He pulled back slightly to look at me, "I know why you thought it but I swear I will never hurt you again. I want to be with you." he said cupping my face in his broken hands lightly.
"Then why did you say that I couldn't move out?" I asked confused as hell, he wanted to be with me but I needed to stay with Johnny? How the hell does that make sense in anyone's mind?
He sighed sadly and closed his eyes pressing his forehead to mine. "I need you to have an agent watching you, the only reason they've assigned someone to you is because your engaged to Johnny.
If you break it off with him then you won't have anyone watching you, you could get hurt." he said looking pained.
That just doesn't make sense either, I won't get hurt if I'm not with Johnny, there would be no reason for the stalker guy to want to hurt me, it was Johnny he wanted.
I shook my head, "No, once I've broken up with Johnny then the guy won't be interested in me anymore." I shrugged.
Ethan groaned, "I can't take that chance Lia, what if he is still interested in you and you have no one watching you? I can't risk you getting hurt, that would kill me, I can't do that." he said looking at me pleadingly.
"But I'd be living with you, why would I need someone to watch me if I had a badass boyfriend?" I asked smiling teasingly.
He didn't smile, "Lia, I work a lot, my day is from seven thirty till seven thirty everyday. What about the times I'm not there? Or when you're at college?" he asked raising his eyebrows.
"Ethan, this is crazy I honestly think the chances of this guy still wanting to hurt me after I've broken up with Johnny are really slim. I'll take the risk." I said going up on tip toes to kiss him.
He pulled away and ran his hands through his hair, he looked really stressed and worried. "I can't Lia, if someone hurt you that would kill me. Please, just until they catch the guy, please will you do this for me?" he begged. He was using the puppy dog face that I hated, I looked away from him quickly. I didn't want to give in on this, I didn't want to stay here with Johnny. I couldn't use Johnny like that.
"I can't do that Ethan, it's not fair to stay with Johnny just so I'll have someone watching me, I won't." I said sternly shaking my head. No way, I'm not doing it I'm going to break up with him and that's that.
Ethan took my hand and pulled me over to the bed making me sit on the edge. He sat next to me rubbing circles in the back of my hand, "Please Lia, I need you safe." he said quietly.
I felt sick, I couldn't, it wasn't fair to Johnny and it wasn't fair of Ethan to ask me to do this. "I can't, if I stay with him I'll have to be with him, you know what I mean by that and I don't want to do that Ethan. Please, please don't make me do this." I begged. I laid down and put my arm over my eyes my heart sinking, he was going to make me do it I could tell.
He laid close to my side wrapping his arm across my body holding me tightly. "Lia, the things this guy wrote in the letter, the things he wants to do to you, shit if you knew you would do this without a question. Please, I know I'm asking a lot from you but please do this for me." he said trying to pull my arm from my face so I would look at him.
"Ethan I'll have to have sex with him and everything, you know that right? Do you know what that's going to do to me being forced to do something I don't want to do again?" I whispered trying not to cry. It felt like something I was trapped in all over again, he wouldn't have to hold me down like Ben used to, but to me it almost felt like the same thing, I didn't want to do it.
He groaned and pressed his face into my neck. "Oh shit Lia, I didn't think about it like that, I'm so sorry." he said kissing my neck lightly. "It's ok, you don't have to, I'm sorry I asked ok? I'll quit my job and then I'll be there for you it's fine." he said soothingly.
Quit his job? What the hell is that about? "Why the hell would you quit your job? That's stupid." I said finally moving my arm from my face.
He looked so sad, "I'm so sorry I asked that, I didn't think about what you would feel like doing that. Damn it I'm such an ass." he said looking at me apologetically.
"You're not an ass Ethan." I said laughing at how absurd he was. "But I don't want you to quit your job, everything will be fine I promise." I said smiling reassuringly.
He didn't look like he was buying it, he shook his head. "Someone needs to be there for you so there's no other option." he said brushing my hair off of my face lightly as he moved to hover above me.
I pulled him closer, he really would do that for me, he would quit his job just to follow me around and make sure no one hurt me, he really is incredible. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him hungrily wrapping my arms tight around his neck so he couldn't get away. He pressed his body to mine but didn't make any other moves to touch me at all. I pulled one leg out from under him and draped it over his ass pushing his crotch down onto me. He was so aroused that I moaned into his mouth. I needed him, he really was driving me crazy.
He pulled out of the kiss and put his forehead to mine. "I need to go and call them to make sure someone can come here for tomorrow morning to take over from me ok?" he asked pulling away and kneeling on the bed still straddling me.
I couldn't let him quit his job for me, it wasn't something he could take back after, this would affect the rest of his life and I was being pathetic about it. Maybe I could do it but just make sure to keep away from Johnny somehow, tell him I had my period or something, that would buy me a few days and hopefully they would catch the guy in that time.
Ethan was dialing his cell phone so I gripped the front of his shirt pulling him back down to me again. "Don't, it's ok, don't quit your job." I said quietly gripping my hands in the back of his hair.
He shook his head, "It's ok Lia, I don't mind. There's no other way I should've never asked you to do that, I didn't realize what that would feel like to you." he said looking at me apologetically. Damn his is so adorable.
"Ethan, I'll stay with Johnny. I'll tell him I've got my period or something. Just for the week though ok and then we'll have to think of something else. I'll tell him I've made up with my parents and that I'll still be living there Tuesday to Thursday as usual, maybe I could come and stay at yours instead on those days?" I asked hopefully.
He looked at me curiously, searching my face probably to see if I was lying or something, "You're really ok with this? You're not just saying that right? My job is nowhere near as important as you are, you're my number one priority, you always will be." he said stroking my face softly.
"I promise, it's ok. It'll be hard I'm not going to lie but I don't want you to quit your job, so we'll just hope they catch the guy within a week ok?" I said pretending I was fine. He bent his head and kissed me.
I heard Johnny coming up the stairs so Ethan jumped off of me pulling me up to sitting and then knelt on the floor next to the bed. "Well that's fine Ali, I'll need to inform your guard but that shouldn't be a problem as long as they know where you are." he said as Johnny walked in the door.
"What the hell are you doing up here?" he asked Ethan angrily.
"Hey, I was just going over some security stuff with Ali. She said she's staying at her parents for the next three nights so I need to make sure her guard knows." he said shrugging casually. He stood up,
"I'll go set that up then ok? What time do you think you'll be heading there?" he asked looking at me again.
I thought it through, I guess I would need to wait until Ethan was home, he wouldn't want me to go back to his place on my own. "Um about eight?" I suggested.
He smiled looking relieved and nodded, "Ok and don't worry Ali, everything's fine you don't need to worry. If at any point it gets too much then there are other options ok?" he said as he walked to the door. I smiled, jeez I loved that boy so much. I nodded and he went out shutting the door.
"What the hell does he mean staying at your parents? I thought you said that was it now and that you were moving in here." Johnny said frowning at me angrily.
"I spoke to them today and sorted everything out. They want me to come home tonight as usual, you know I don't like to argue with them baby so I just thought it was easier to agree to it." I lied trying to look anywhere but him. I couldn't do this, I hated to lie to him.
"For fuck sake Ali, you can't keep doing this, you said you were moving in here with me!" he shouted annoyed. He was obviously still on a low from the drugs last night.
"I know I did baby and I'm really sorry." I said trying not to cry. This was killing me inside, damn that stupid stalker!
He sighed running his hands through his hair angrily. "Fine, whatever, do what you want."
"Johnny I'm sorry, I really am." I said honestly, I was sorry for more than he knew about.
"Save it Ali, I'm not in the mood. What the fuck was Ethan really doing up here? Why the hell was he in the bedroom?" he asked his face hard.
I gulped "I saw him on the stairs, he asked if I was ok with the guard then I told him about staying at my parents, that's it." I said looking at the floor not wanting to see his angry accusing face. This was the only time he had ever looked at me like that when I had actually deserved it, usually he was jealous for no reason and his glare was making me squirm.
He closed the distance between us and kissed me roughly hurting my lips. He gripped the back of my head so I couldn't move away and moved us over to the edge of the bed. "You don't let him in here again Ali, you understand?" he growled angrily.
"Yeah Johnny, I'm sorry baby." I said breathlessly.
He crashed his lips back to mine again making us both fall onto the bed. He started kissing down my neck biting roughly. "Johnny don't." I said wincing slightly as he nipped the skin at my shoulder.
"Johnny stop baby, I can't I got my period today I have a really bad stomachache." I lied closing my eyes praying he wouldn't say he didn't mind and want sex anyway.
"You got your period?" he asked frowning. I nodded, "Fuck it!" he shouted pushing himself up off of me and storming out of the room slamming the door behind him. I flinched, his mood swings were definitely getting worse. Why the hell would he get that angry about that? It never really bothered him before, he was always good that way.
I sat there for a couple of minutes watching the door to make sure he wasn't coming back. I usually got my period for about four days but I could stretch that out to five or six, he wouldn't remember especially if he was high. I just prayed that the police caught the guy before then because I didn't want to have sex with Johnny, not because I had to. It felt wrong, I knew it would make me feel used and dirty and I didn't want to feel like that, not again.
I changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and headed downstairs to make dinner. There wasn't much food left in the house, so I had no idea what I could cook. I rummaged in the cupboards until I found all the ingredients for pasta bake. Johnny came out a little while later as I was putting it in the oven.
"Hey sorry I shouldn't have taken that out of you earlier, it's not your fault." he said wrapping his arms around me hugging me.
"It's ok, and I'm sorry I'm staying out again tonight." I said pressing my face into his chest trying to disappear.
"That's not why I got upset." he said pulling back and putting his hands on my hips. He lifted me onto the counter and stepped between my legs our faces inches apart.
"Why then?" I asked quietly.
"I was disappointed that's all. I was waiting for you to tell me I guess I kind of got my hopes up." he said looking at me a little sheepishly. What the hell is he talking about?
"Johnny I don't understand what you're talking about baby." I admitted waiting for him to say something that made sense.
"I thought you were pregnant, but obviously I'm wrong if you have your period." he said laughing shaking his head.
I burst out laughing, he thought I was pregnant? Why the hell would he think that? I have the coil fitted, they last for ten years and I had it put in about four
years ago when we got together, he knew that. "Why would you think that baby?" I asked giggling at how silly he was.
"You were due on a couple of weeks ago, I checked the calendar, it's been six weeks I just thought you were waiting to tell me." he said pulling me into a hug.
My heart sunk, six weeks? How the hell could it have been six weeks? I was always four weeks to the dot. Oh God please no, please! I couldn't breathe, he went to pull back so I wrapped my arms tight around his neck so he couldn't move back to look at me and see my face.
I frantically tried to work it out in my head. If I had a period six weeks ago that meant that if I was pregnant that I was only six weeks at the most. It therefore had to be Johnny's as last week was the first time in eight weeks that I had got caught by Ben so it had to be Johnny's if I was pregnant. I felt the fear loosen a little, I still didn't want to be pregnant but if it was Ben's that would kill me, it really would kill me inside if that happened again.