"I know you're not ready for that kind of thing but I forget I'm so much older than you. I would love it if you got pregnant." he mumbled against my shoulder.
My heart was still crashing in my chest like crazy. What the hell do I do if I'm pregnant? Shit Ethan would hate me and it would ruin everything. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I could feel my whole future being flushed down the toilet, I would have to stay with Johnny. I would have to see that look on Ethan's face when I told him I was having a baby with someone else.
Johnny pulled back and smiled at me sadly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you especially if you have a stomachache." he said kissing me gently.
"It's ok." I forced out nodding. I needed to go and get a test otherwise I would worry myself sick about this until then. "Johnny I just remembered I'm supposed to having dinner with my parents tonight, my Mom was cooking as an apology," I said jumping off of the counter. "This will be done in twenty minutes you just need to get it out ok?" I said pointing to the food in the oven.
"You're leaving now? I thought you told Ethan that you weren't leaving until eight." he said angrily.
Wow mood swing alert.
"Yeah I forgot, sorry. I'll call you tomorrow." I said grabbing my purse and keys and practically running for the door.
I ran to my car and saw the same car that had followed me start up too. I pulled out and headed to the nearest pharmacy buying a bottle of water and three of those digital pregnancy tests that estimate how far gone you are. The lady behind the counter directed me to the nearest public toilets.
By the time I got there I was sobbing, I felt sick, this was worse than last time. Last time I didn't have very much to lose, and now I had Ethan.
My cell phone was going crazy in my purse, I pulled it out to see Ethan's number flashing on my screen. I couldn't talk to him, he was probably going to shout at me for leaving without telling him or something. I rejected the call and turned it off shoving it back into my purse roughly.
My hands were shaking so badly that I could barely even open the boxes and packets. I did two of them at the same time then downed the bottle of water and did the other one almost immediately after. I put them on the sink and sat on the floor with my head in my hands praying that Johnny was wrong. If I was pregnant I would have to stay with him and marry him, I'd be trapped all over again but this time for the rest of my life.
After three minutes I pushed myself up and turned them all over at the same time. All three of them said the same thing, just the sight of the first word made my heart break into a thousand pieces.
'Pregnant 3-4 weeks'
I screamed and slapped and kicked the wall over and over sobbing.
Chapter 18
Ethan
Johnny walked back into the room looking annoyed and plopped down in front of the TV. This whole situation was killing me, I wanted to beat the crap out of him for being famous, for having someone want to hurt Lia just for being with him. I know I shouldn't blame him but I had to blame someone and he just seemed to fit the bill for me.
After about half an hour she still hadn't come in. "Where's Ali?" I asked glancing towards the kitchen.
"She went back to her parents for dinner, said she forgot she arranged it." he said shrugging. Damn it! What the hell is she doing? Andrew better have gone with her, if she's gone anywhere on her own and something happens to her, wow I couldn't even finish that thought.
I stood up and headed to the bathroom pulling out my cell phone. It was only six o'clock so I had another hour and a half to wait for Max to come and take over from me. I called her but her phone just rang and rang before it disconnected. I could feel myself starting to panic, if something's happened to her I swear it'll kill me. I called her again but her phone was off so I dialled Andrew, her assigned agent.
He answered almost immediately. "Hey Ethan, what's up?"
"Where's Aaliyah Jones?" I asked using her full name as that's what his brief would have called her.
"She's in a toilet man, she's been in there for like twenty minutes now." he said casually as if this happened everyday.
She's been in a toilet for twenty minutes? What the hell is that about?
"Where are you?" I asked confused.
"Outside that parade of shops, near the swimming pool on Well's." he said.
"Ok well call me if you leave there." I snapped my phone shut and called Max pulling in a favour to get him to come in early so I could go and see what the hell this was about. Fifteen minutes later he pulled up.
"Johnny, I'm heading off for the night, Max is outside, see you in the morning." I called heading out the front door. I stopped to update Max with the Lia situation and then called Andrew again, apparently she still hadn't come out. So I headed there parking and running over to him. He was sat outside the door looking bored stiff.
"Did she say anything?" I asked confused.
He shook his head, "Nope, I saw her crying as she went in, I heard her crying a little while she was in there but she just hasn't come out. It's been like forty minutes now." he said shrugging.
I nodded "Ok you can head off, I'll take over from you." I said slapping his shoulder and half pushing him towards his car.
"Yeah? What about her night guard? Are you going to take her back to Johnny's so Max can watch her?" he asked frowning. I guess I needed to explain that Lia would be staying at mine for the next three nights, but now wasn't the time. I needed to see what this was about.
"Yeah I'll take her to Johnny's so you just start your shift tomorrow." I said nodding over my shoulder to his car. He took the hint and walked back to his car smiling, obviously pleased he got off shift early. I headed over to the toilet door. "Lia, are you ok?" I called through the door.
"Go away Ethan." she said, her voice sounded sore and raspy, she was definitely crying.
"Open the door Lia." I said sternly. She didn't answer. "Please open the door." I begged.
"Just leave Ethan, go away please." she said her voice breaking.
"If you don't open this door Lia I'm breaking it down," I said firmly. "I'm serious you have until the count of three to open the door, either way I'm getting in there." I said honestly. She didn't say anything. Please come on, please. I didn't want to bust the door down in case it hurt her or something.
"One......two." I counted.
Just as I was about to say three the door opened and she pushed past me. Her face was red and blotchy, she'd definitely been crying for a long time. I jogged after her, "What's wrong? Is it me asking you to stay with Johnny? I told you that you don't have to do that." I said taking her hand.
She stopped as she got to her car, "I need to stay with Johnny now anyway." she said breaking into a fresh round of sobs.
I wrapped my arms around her, she was scaring me a little now. "Lia, what the hell's happened?
Please talk to me." I begged trying to lift her head. "Come back to mine and we'll talk." I said taking her hand again and pulling her towards my car. She shouldn't really be driving in that state anyway.
She let me lead her to my car climbing in but still not looking at me.
She refused to talk to me the whole way there, no matter how hard I tried she just looked blankly out of the windshield looking sadder than I had ever seen her. She was breaking my heart, this was painful to see her look like that.
When we pulled up outside my building she got out and headed to the door without even waiting for me. We walked silently up to the apartment door and when I opened it she went straight to the bedroom. She was going to tell me she didn't want me I could tell, the cold way she was being was because she wanted to stay with Johnny and thought last night was a mistake. She couldn't trust me again after what I did to her last time. The thought was killing me, I needed her in my life.
I took a couple of deep breaths and headed into the bedroom stopping at the door watching her pulling some of her clothes out of the closet throwing them back in the bag she probably unpacked them from this morni
ng.
"Lia, what's happened? Why are you doing that?" I asked quietly not really wanting the answer.
"I can't be with you Ethan, I need to be with Johnny. I'm so sorry, if things were different...." she said her voice breaking again.
I walked up close behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "I love you Lia, please tell me what's happened. This morning and at Johnny's everything was fine then you just suddenly left, I don't understand." I said holding her tight. She was trembling slightly, her breathing still hitching from all of the crying.
"I'm pregnant." she whispered.
Pregnant? I closed my eyes, shit that hurts. Lia was having a baby and it wasn't mine, that hurt like a bitch. I didn't know what to say, a thousand thoughts were going through my brain so fast I could barely even register them all. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. She took my hands off of her waist and stepped away from me grabbing more clothes from the closet.
She was leaving? Why the hell is she leaving? I put my hand on top of hers stopping her from getting the next dress off of the hanger. "Why are you packing?" I asked frowning.
She looked at me confused, "You're right, I'll just leave it you can bring it tomorrow." she said grabbing the bag from the floor and walking towards the door.
I grabbed her hand making her stop and took the bag from her hand dropping it onto the floor. I couldn't let her leave, I couldn't lose her again. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her lightly.
She whimpered, I wiped the tears off of her face with my thumbs.
"Don't go." I whispered not trusting my voice to speak properly. She looked at me her face vulnerable and hurt, I had never seen anything more broken and damaged than her at that moment. I pulled her over to the bed making her lay down. I laid down next to her moving half over her so our faces were inches apart. "Is it Johnny's?" I asked quietly. She nodded. That was one good thing I guess, it wasn't Ben's. "How long?" I asked still unable to force out a whole sentence.
"The test said three to four weeks, it could be more I guess but no more than six." she said her lip trembling slightly as the silent tears continued to fall down her beautiful face.
"Please don't cry Lia, everything's ok. I'll take care of you, I'll take care of you both." I said honestly. I ran my hand down her body to rest on her flat stomach. She had a little baby in there, a tiny little Lia probably perfect in every way just like its Momma.
"You can't, I....I....Ethan, it's....we." she stuttered looking at me shocked.
I smiled and kissed her again loving the feel of her lips against mine. "Lia, you and I are meant to be together, if I love that little baby even half as much as I love you it'll be the most loved little baby in the world. I'll take care of you both, you don't need to worry." I said honestly rubbing her stomach in small circles.
She burst into tears again pulling me closer to her, "You can't, it's not your baby, I can't ask you to do that Ethan, you can't." she choked out.
"Lia, I'm not losing you again. You're only three or four weeks, well we could lie and say you got pregnant after you left Johnny. The only people that know that it's not mine are me and you. No one will know it's not mine Lia, I swear I'll be the best dad in the world, I'll treat that baby like my own I promise. Let me make you both happy, please Lia please." I begged.
I knew I would love that little baby in her stomach because it was part of her, a perfect little mini her for me to love and spoil rotten. People brought up stepchildren as their own all the time. Johnny wasn't fit to be a dad with all of his drug taking and drinking, you can't bring a baby up in that environment.
"You want to pretend it's yours? What about when the dates don't match up and people know that I got pregnant before you came back?" she asked shaking her head fiercely.
"So we'll say the baby's premature, if you got pregnant as soon as you leave him then people will think the baby's born three or four weeks premature. We'll just lie about your due date, no one would know. If people start to get suspicious then we'll leave and move away." I said looking at her hopefully. I couldn't watch her go and raise a baby with another man, that would destroy me, not after just getting her back, I couldn't. "Think about it, me, you and a little baby, a nice little family. Please think about it." I asked brushing her hair from her face lightly begging her with my eyes.
"You would raise another man's baby as your own?" she asked looking at me shocked and like I was a hundred feet tall.
"I would raise your baby with you. Lia any man can make a baby, it's easy, but raising a baby, being there everyday and night, that's what makes you a daddy and I would love to be your baby's daddy if you'll let me." I said honestly.
"Shit Ethan you really are incredible." she said shaking her head looking at me in awe.
"Not as incredible as you." I said wiping her last tear tenderly. "I love you Lia."
She closed her eyes and smiled, "I love you too Ethan." she whispered.
"Is that a yes?" I asked hopefully as I slipped my hand under her top tracing my fingers across her stomach.
"Yes. I'm so sorry, I wish it was yours, I wish it was yours more than anything. I'm sorry." she said looking at me apologetically.
"You have nothing to apologize for. As of now it is mine. You need to leave Johnny tomorrow and move in with me, then in a month we'll tell people you're a month gone, then in eight months we'll have a little baby that people think is a month premature." I said happiness bubbling inside me. I always wanted kids with her. So what if I wasn't the sperm donor, it didn't matter in the long run, I would be there when it really mattered. I would always be there. She cupped my face in her hands just looking at me so lovingly that it was making my heart ache. I get this girl forever. I felt like the luckiest man in the world.
"I love you so much. Thank you Ethan, you really are amazing for doing this for me." she said shaking her head lightly.
"You don't need to thank me Lia, I always hoped we would have kids one day, just happened a little sooner than I thought, but that's ok." I said grinning like an idiot.
She smiled sadly, "What happens if the baby comes out looking like Johnny?" she asked quietly her lip trembling slightly.
I shrugged, "I have a blonde Uncle Bob, we'll just say it takes after it's great uncle." I said dismissively making her laugh.
"I don't want to trap you into anything Ethan. Do you really want this or are you just saying it because you think you have to?" she asked biting her lip looking at me intently, her eyes searching mine for any indecision.
"I want to be with you, and you have a baby on the way now so I want the baby too. You're not trapping me I promise. I could let you walk out of the door now if I didn't want you, I could ask you to get an abortion if I didn't want the baby, couldn't I?" I asked looking right into her eyes making sure I wasn't trapping her into anything.
"I guess, I just don't understand how you could want to do this. Have you even thought this through properly? What this will mean? Jeez we got together yesterday and now were talking about raising a baby together. Things like this just don't happen, guys should run a mile from this." she said shaking her head.
"Most guys might, but not every guy loves his girl like I do. Lia I've loved you forever, nothing will change that." I said looking at her beautiful face.
She smiled, "That was damn sweet Ethan."
I rolled my eyes "I love you." I whispered.
She pulled my face down to hers again kissing me softly, tenderly, lovingly. She tangled her hands in the back of my hair pulling me closer. I traced my tongue along her bottom lip and kissed her deeply. She hooked one leg over my hip and rolled back a little making me move on top of her.
Her hands went down to the bottom of my shirt pulling it up slowly over my head. What is she doing? I pulled out of the kiss and kissed down her neck, damn I wanted her. I was so hard it was unreal but I still didn't know if she was ready for that. She seemed to be making the moves but I didn't want to rush her.
Her breathing was speedin
g up, I couldn't stop my hands from touching her. I traced them up her body cupping her breasts as I kissed back to her mouth. Damn she was so incredible, she fitted me so perfectly, like she was made for me.
"Make love to me Ethan." she breathed gripping her hands on my ass pressing me down onto her harder. Shit really?
"Are you sure? I can wait as long as you want." I mumbled against her neck.
"I don't want to wait, please Ethan." she begged.
I crashed my lips back to hers so excited I thought it would kill me. Her hands trailed round to the front of my jeans unbuckling my belt as I gripped her t-shirt pulling it over her head. I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of her sweats and pulled them down slowly kissing down her body as I did it. When they were off I threw them on the floor running my hands back up her legs savouring the feel of her skin under my fingertips. I kissed across her stomach loving the thought of my lips being close to the little baby in there.
Her breathing was almost pants now and it was making me even more hot for her knowing that she was excited. I trailed my tongue up between her breasts as I pulled her bra off. I looked down at her breasts and couldn't help but moan, I didn't look at her last night when I took her clothes off I just kept my eyes firmly on hers.
This was the first time I had seen her body and damn, it was more beautiful than I even imagined, and trust me I'd imagined it a lot. She pushed my jeans down brushing her hands against my shaft making my whole body tense up with excitement.
"You are so beautiful Lia." I murmured as I massaged her breasts gently making her arch her back to press them into my hands more. I kissed her again as she pushed my boxers off her hand finding its way back to my shaft. She started to pump me stroking and squeezing gently making my whole body burn in need for her. I'd never been so turned on in my life. I pulled her panties off quickly as she pumped my erecti0n making me moan. I slipped my hand between her legs and moaned when I felt she was already wet for me.