"Love you." he whispered leaning over and kissing me lightly.
I smiled against his lips, "Love you too."
Someone cleared their throat and Ethan pulled away from me grinning sheepishly. "Ok well they're going to fit you in between patients, so if you could make your way over to the pre-natal unit now, they should be able to see you almost immediately." he said.
"Yeah? That's great, thank you doctor." Ethan said standing up and helping me out of the chair.
"Thanks." I smiled gratefully.
"No problem Miss Jones, Mr. Scott. Good luck with the baby." the doctor replied grinning.
We headed over to the pre-natal unit and sat there waiting for about five minutes. The whole time Ethan sat there with a big smile on his face like a kid on Christmas morning.
"You looking forward to seeing your baby tough guy?" I asked laughing. He nodded, his smile getting even bigger. It felt so right to say your baby to him, I wished with every bone in my body that it was Ethan's, but raising the baby as his own would mean that it was his anyway.
We were called in and I laid there while the sonographer squirted some gel on my stomach and rolled a little plastic thing around pressing lightly while she watched the screen.
"Ah there we go. I'm just going to take some sizes then I'll be able to tell you how far gone you are." she said pressing buttons on the keyboard. After a minute or so she turned back to us. "Ok well according to the sizes here, the fetus is just over three weeks. Twenty three days to be exact." she said pushing the screen around so we could see what she'd been looking at.
On the screen was a black and white hazy mess and I had no idea what it was or where it was .
"Umm where's the baby on there?" I asked feeling stupid. Wow I'm a bad mother already, I can't even see my own baby!
She laughed and pointed to a little white fuzzy bit tracing the outline of a little oblong shaped thing. "Right there."
Ethan bent in closer to the screen frowning, "Ok wow Lia, I thought we were having a baby not a bean, but I guess that'll work too." he said making both me and the sonographer laugh. He smiled, "I can't see it." he said shaking his head looking at the screen again. "That thing right there?" he asked pointing to the screen at the white blob.
"Yep, that's your baby." the lady said tapping on the keyboard again.
"Well he looks just like you Lia." Ethan joked squeezing my hand gently.
"Who said it was a boy?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him curiously.
"Just a feeling." he replied shrugging as he bent his head and kissed me so softly and intimately that it made me blush because the sonographer was watching. He pulled away and smiled, "Three weeks is perfect." he whispered. I nodded, three weeks was great because the less time that had past the better, because then we would be able to make it look like his easier. He turned back to the nurse looking curious. "So how can you be so sure on the dates and stuff?"
"Well up until 20 weeks every fetus is the same size, they all develop at the same rate. The sizes here point to just over three weeks, it's pretty accurate." she said smiling as she printed off a couple of pictures of the little white blob and handed them to me.
"That's awesome, thank you so much." I said gratefully as I wiped the rest of the gel off of my stomach.
"You're welcome, usually when people come there's a little more than a bean to look at, but next time you come the baby will have fingers and toes and everything." she said casually making my heart beat a little faster. Somehow that made it seem even more real to me, I had a little baby in my stomach and pretty soon it would have fingers and toes. That's just crazy.
I smiled and pulled my shirt down as Ethan was studying the little print out picture like his life depended on it. I took his hand and he beamed at me, "Ready?" he asked brushing his free hand down the side of my face making me get goosebumps.
I nodded and followed him out of the little room, he wrapped his arms around me as we walked nibbling on my ear making me giggle and squirm as we walked towards the exit. I pushed him off of me laughing, "Will you quit it?" I asked faking annoyance. In total honesty I hadn't been this happy in years, maybe ever.
He laughed and grabbed me knocking me off of my feet kissing me as he carried me down the corridors and through the reception area heading out towards the parking lot.
"Aaliyah?" I heard someone call. I pulled my face away from Ethan's to see my parents standing by the main door looking at me and Ethan shocked.
Chapter 22
I gulped as my mother looked at me, she looked so uncomfortable that I actually started to feel sick.
I hadn't spoken to them since they found out about Ben and I didn't want to either, they'd made no attempt to contact me at all. Shouldn't it be them calling me? I'd done nothing wrong, shouldn't it be them that feel sick and come crawling to me to apologize? Ethan sighed and put me down on my feet pulling me close to his body putting his arm around my waist.
My dad was looking anywhere but me, wow not man enough to look at me, that's real nice!
"Aaliyah, we meant to call you." my mother stepped forward looking at me awkwardly as if she was waiting for me to freak out at any second or something and make a scene in the middle of the hospital reception.
"I'll bet." I said sarcastically.
"We didn't know....we thought..." she trailed off looking around nervously.
"You thought I was a lying cheap little wh0re, yeah I got that message loud and clear, you don't need to say it." I said smiling sweetly. I wouldn't let these people affect me anymore, I wasted enough time letting them make me feel bad and dirty, no more.
My dad looked up at me then, his face was the picture of remorse and sorrow, his eyes filled with tears as his chin trembled slightly. It was awful to see but he brought this on himself. If he wanted a relationship with me then he should have listened to me six years ago when I begged for help.
"I'm so sorry Aaliyah." he choked out.
I nodded, "Of course you are, and so you should be." I willed my voice not to break when I said it, I didn't want to show them any reaction, they didn't deserve to see my pain or how much they hurt me. They lost the right to access my feelings when they chose between their kids.
"Please Aaliyah, can we talk?" he begged looking between me and Ethan pleadingly, damn was he asking Ethan to talk some sense into me or something? He was fighting a losing battle asking Ethan for help, from what I understand from Ethan he wanted to kill my dad almost as much as he wanted to kill Ben.
"I don't think so." I muttered squeezing Ethan's hand for support.
My dad swiped the tear that fell down his cheek, "Ok I understand. What are you doing here anyway? Are you sick?" he asked looking at me worriedly.
Oh shit! I looked at Ethan for help, I could hardly tell them I was here for a scan for a baby I wasn't supposed to be carrying yet! Ethan smiled at me and held up his hand with the bandaged fingers.
"We came to have someone look at my hand." he shrugged.
"Oh right yeah. How did you get on?" my dad asked wincing and swallowing uncomfortably.
"A couple of fingers were broken, no big deal." Ethan said with a small smile on his face, maybe he was remembering punching the crap out of Ben.
"What are you doing here?" I asked curiously. Was someone in the hospital or something? My parents glanced at each other and my mom shifted uncomfortably.
"Err..... We came to see..... Ben, we came to see Ben." my dad said quietly whilst looking at his feet.
I laughed humorlessly. Of course they did, they came to visit him in the hospital even after they finally know the truth but yet they can't pick up the phone to say sorry to me. Wow they were worse than I thought.
Ethan hissed a string of expletives under his breath as his hold on me tightened. "You have got to be fucking kidding me! You came to visit that lying cheating, son of a ...... seriously? You came to visit him after everything he's done?" Ethan growled looking murderously angry.
"He was bad, when the m
edics came he was unconscious! You broke so many of his bones that he could barely breathe." my mom hissed looking around to see if anyone had heard her.
Ethan laughed and ran his hand through his hair, "He's lucky I let him breathe at all." he growled through his teeth. I couldn't listen to this, I couldn't see this anymore. They knew the truth yet they'd still rather visit him than me, I guess old habits die hard. I tugged on Ethan's hand but he didn't move. "How long is he gonna be in for?" he asked my father glaring at him angrily.
"At least a week." my dad answered quietly.
"Well when he comes out you tell him from me that if he even thinks about her again, I'll hurt him so bad he'll wish I'd killed him last time." Ethan growled pulling me on the other side of his body so I didn't have to walk past my parents.
He guided me towards the door, it worried me a little that I wasn't desperately upset about cutting my parents from my life like this. Shouldn't I feel something? Shouldn't I at least shed a small tear that this would be the last time I'd see them and talk to them? I didn't feel anything. Not a single thing and that scared me a little but I'd grieved for them enough.
I wasn't losing anything cutting them out like this as we had nothing in the first place, I had no relationship with them anymore. We were just strangers who lived in the same house, both parties just looking at the other with distaste. There were times where I would lay awake thinking about when I was a little daddy's girl, and how he would take me to the park on a Saturday morning.
When I thought about it I would miss those times, but even those memories of him were tainted by the look that I saw in his eyes when I told him the truth. I could never get rid of that look, I would always see that when I looked at them. So I'd just stop looking, I wasn't losing out, they were. They were losing out on seeing their grandchild, it was their loss not mine. I hope they understood that.
As we were just about to walk through the door my father called me making me stop. I didn't turn to look at him, I didn't want to, I didn't owe either of them anything.
"I'm so sorry Aaliyah, I should have believed you. I'm so sorry." he said his voice shaking.
I didn't answer I just started walking again gripping Ethan's hand tightly. I didn't look back, I was happy not feeling anything. If I looked back I would feel something, guilt maybe I don't know. It wasn't my fault that they wouldn't see my baby, would never hold him or her, none of this was my fault and I decided right then to start believing that. I never asked for any of this, what Ben did to me wasn't my fault and I needed to let it go completely. I refused to feel bad today, I had my perfect other half at my side and a picture of my little baby in my pocket, there was only good things for me and Ethan from now on.
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A whole week passed without incident, Ethan was talking to Trent everyday about Johnny's stalker.
Apparently they hadn't received anything for over a week, not one single threat against Johnny or I.
Ethan relaxed slightly but was still crazy overprotective, I wasn't allowed to go out without him. I went to college on my own but he dropped me off and picked me up and I wasn't allowed to wander off on my own at lunch or anything. My dance exam went really well, well I think it did anyway, my instructors thought something different as they just didn't get my dance style at all. Daniel said that the external examiners looked impressed though so that was good.
Johnny didn't answer my texts or calls but Chris told me he was doing ok. He hadn't stopped with the drugs or drinking and threw himself into his music, sleeping around a lot from what I'd heard.
Chris had moved in with him for a little while to keep him company and said that Johnny still missed me but was still in the anger stage at the moment and didn't want to see or hear about me. I can understand that and didn't blame him at all, I just hoped that he would get over me easier and would maybe finally get himself clean, do it for himself and for his career but that probably wouldn't happen. Johnny was first a foremost a musician so that was part of his lifestyle.
Becca eased up on Ethan a little and even came round to watch a movie and have pizza one day even though I could see she was reluctant to trust him with me again. She was always overprotective too and the best friend a girl could ask for, she just needed time to see that he wasn't going to hurt me. I guess she went through my pain with me when he left last time and she just didn't want to see that again.
Ethan was the most incredible boyfriend ever, so damn sweet sometimes that I'm surprised I had any teeth left. He made me breakfast in bed and brought me flowers, running around after me rubbing his hand over my stomach whenever I was close enough. He looked so happy that it made my heart ache. I had honestly never been so happy in my life.
I woke on Sunday morning to the sound of Ethan's cell phone ringing, I groaned and glanced at the clock, it wasn't even seven thirty. Who the hell would be calling at this time at a weekend? Ethan shifted to grab his phone but I didn't move my head off of his chest as he answered it.
"Hello?" he mumbled sleepily. His voice rumbled through his chest under my ear so I smiled and traced my fingers across his abs softly. "Seriously? Well what did it say?" he asked, his voice sounded a little strained as his hand went to the back of my head stroking my hair lightly. "And that was received yesterday? Why weren't we informed before now?"
I moved back to look at him and rested my chin on his chest, he looked so stressed, his jaw tight and his eyes a little hard. What the heck is this about?
"No I understand. Yeah I guess that's a good thing. Well keep me informed then, I have another week off so I'll do that. Absolutely. Thanks Trent." he snapped his phone shut and sighed looking at me worriedly.
"What's happened?"
"The letters have started again, sent to Johnny's place for both of you. The guy doesn't seem to know you two have broken up which is a good thing because then he doesn't know where you are, but on the other hand like you said before maybe if he knew you two weren't together then he wouldn't even be interested in you." he frowned and shook his head. "I don't know what to do for the best, if we put out that you and Johnny have broken up it might get him off of your back, but on the other hand he could still want you dead and start searching for where you're living."
I sighed and pulled myself up to his level. We honestly thought the stalker was gone, over a week with nothing, not one letter and now all of a sudden it's started back up again, that just doesn't make sense. Ethan's face was worried and tense as he looked at me, he honestly looked scared which wasn't a look I ever wanted to see on him.
"Everything's fine tough guy, stop stressing about it." I smiled reassuringly as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
He frowned and kissed me lightly, "So what do you think? Tell people to circulate that you two are broken up, or let the notes and items continue to be sent to Johnny's for both of you?" he asked.
I shrugged, "I have no idea Ethan, at least while the letters go there he doesn't know where I am so we don't need to worry. I don't care what we do as long as I get to stay right here with you." I snuggled closer to him running one hand down his back, just thinking about how hot he was made my mouth water. I honestly must be the luckiest girl alive to have Ethan Scott fall in love with me.
He grinned wickedly, "Well you can definitely stay there, until you get too big and fat to press against me like this that is." he teased one hand gripping my ass and pulling me impossibly closer as he rubbed my stomach in small circles.
"But you'll love me big and fat though right?" I asked pouting slightly.
He grinned, "I'll love you anything Lia trust me." he whispered, he rolled slightly so he was half on top of me. "So it's pretty early for us to be awake on a Sunday, want to go back to sleep or....." he trailed off suggestively, running his hand down my side making me get goosebumps.
I grinned, damn this boy was insatiable. "Definitely or...." I confirmed pulling his face
down to mine ending the conversation.
....................................................................................................................
Finally after another three perfect weeks, Ethan and I had been together for just over a month so we could tell people I was pregnant. The time since we got together had passed so fast that most of it was just a blur. Ethan and his boss decided that the best thing to do about the stalker was to continue to let him think I was living at Johnny's. That way we wouldn't have to worry about our apartment, because the guy wouldn't know where I was. I left all of the decisions up to Ethan, I knew this was his thing so I didn't really want to put my opinion in, he was worried about me and the baby enough already.
After his week off he was assigned to an art gallery owner in the vicinity. It was well below his grade but he didn't want to go any further afield to work as he wanted to be close to me, so Trent had found him someone closer. He was only a twenty minute drive away which was awesome on both accounts. Ethan being Ethan didn't want to leave me unprotected so had pulled in a lot of favors to get Andrew assigned back to me as my day guard. I personally think it was unnecessary but if it put his mind at rest then I just went along with it.