He motions for Jade to exit, then he moves his hand to the small of my back as we follow her. I let Marsha know I’m leaving for the day and ask her to cancel my meeting. Poor thing, she’s practically speechless. I’ve never been one to leave work early or miss it altogether, and I’ve done both several times recently. I ask Jade how Victor is doing, and the elevator ride to the lobby is mercifully brief and light as we laugh over some of his antics. Lee’s driver is already on the sidewalk and opening the door for Jade when we step outside. She turns and pulls me into a fierce hug that I return awkwardly. Her eyes are once again glassy when she looks at me, but luckily, Tony moves forward and takes her arm to help her in the car. “Call me,” she says brightly, yet I hear the wistful note she’s trying to hide.
When Tony returns to my side, he puts his arm around me and holds me close as we navigate the distance to his Range Rover. He opens the door for me and then crosses to his side when I’m settled in. He doesn’t bother to start the vehicle. Instead, he looks at me with eyes full of concern. “I’m sorry, Duchess. You weren’t answering your cell, so I called your office. Your secretary told me you were with your sister. I was planning to drop by later anyway, so I decided to come earlier, thinking you might need rescuing.”
I rest my head against the cool glass of the window as I try to gather my composure. Don’t cry in front of him. “Thank you,” I whisper gratefully. “It was…harder than usual today. Every time I see her, she has that look of hope in her eyes as if she believes this time we’ll turn a corner and be sisters in more than blood only. And I feel like such a cold, heartless bitch when I turn her away.” I stare at him imploringly as I ask, “What else can I do? You know why I’m this way…why I’ve had to be like this. I love her, Tony, more than anything, but a part of me resents her as well, which is insane. She knows nothing of what I’ve been through. Even if our father gave her the opportunity to do his dirty work instead of me, I wouldn’t have allowed it to happen. Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t as if she lived a charmed life. Our father was nothing but a prick after our mother died. So not only did she draw his ire often, she had to deal with my insulting, condescending behavior as well. So yeah, it was no picnic.”
Obviously, he notices that my hands are still trembling as they rest in my lap, because a moment later, he lays one of his on top of them. “She’s happy now, and it’s painful to watch.” To my horror, the tears return, and this time, they refuse to stop.
“Ah baby, how could you not feel that way? The part of you that saved her is glad, and the part of you that sacrificed yourself for her is angry.”
Startled at his intuitiveness, I turn to gawk at him. How? Shaking his head, he says, “Duchess, you’d have to be a fucking saint not to be. Even if you’d make the same choice again and again, it doesn’t change the fact that you had no choice. And that is what really pisses you off. Your father was a fucking monster who took years of your life from you. Who forced you to do things that you hated to save someone you loved.”
“You’re right.” I sigh. “And I want so much to put all that behind me and rescue what’s still left of the love she has for me.”
He sighs before running his hand through his hair as he always does when he’s frustrated or upset. God, what else? Can’t handle much more today. “Lee knows about…your past.” WHAT?
My mouth drops open, and I hope I’ve heard him wrong. “Exactly what are you saying, Tony?”
“Trust me, I feel like the world’s biggest bastard right now, Jacey. But how could I explain the situation with Caulder otherwise? I didn’t think he’d buy into me wanting to take the guy out because of some bad construction work.”
“God,” I groan. “What’s next, an ad in the paper? Jacey Wrenn, whore of Asheville. I bet those headlines will sell some fucking papers.”
True to form, he never does what I expect him to in these situations. Instead of an apology, he matches my anger with some of his own. “I’ve about had enough of this whore business,” he snaps. “You. Are. Not. A. Fucking. Whore. Are we clear?” Between the shouting and clipped enunciation, I can do nothing but nod.
Was a hug too much to ask for?
He sounds more like himself when he adds, “Good. I don’t want to hear that again. I won’t allow anyone to put you down and that includes yourself. Now put your damn seat belt on and let’s go to dinner,” he grumbles as he starts the vehicle. I buckle up and wisely keep my mouth shut. The bright side to his outburst? My tears have dried up.
I wipe my eyes with my hands before attempting to smooth my hair down. I probably look like a train wreck. “If it’s all right with you, I think I’ll take a rain check on dinner. I’m not really in the mood to sit in some crowded restaurant after the day I’ve had.” For the first time since we left Wrenn, I check out our surroundings and do a double take. We’re in my neighborhood.
“I feel the same way,” Tony murmurs as he pulls into a space on the side of the street and stops the car. “That’s why I made arrangements for something a bit less formal.”
Does he expect me to cook? I can’t think of any other reason we’d be this close to my building. Tony sent my clothing out to be dry-cleaned, so I’m not in immediate need of anything new yet. “I guess we can order takeout. I’m not much of a cook, so I don’t keep a lot of food on hand.”
He gets out of the car without replying and comes around to help me out. When I start toward the entrance of my place, he reaches out and catches my hand. “Our table is ready.” Is he high? I turn uncertainly—and my eyes widen. The usual array of bistro tables is gone. Only one remains, and it’s covered with a white tablecloth. Weird. There’s a bottle of wine and two glasses as well as a candle in the center. Don’t cry—again.
“Tony,” I begin, trying to speak past the lump in my throat. “This is…no one’s ever done anything like this for me before.”
He raises the hand he’s holding and presses a kiss to the top of it. “On the contrary, Duchess, I believe we had our first date here. I didn’t even make you pay for half. You were so impressed that by the end of it, you offered to be my baby mama.”
When he winks at me, I melt. My heart turns to a gooey puddle, and I’m surprised I don’t dissolve at his feet. “Well, well, it’s about time you got yourself down here, girlie,” Edna calls out from the food truck. She raises the spatula in her hand and waves it in the direction of Tony. “If this one hadn’t kept me updated, I’d have called the cops by now.”
Wait—he did what?” I gape at Tony in shock. “You’ve been in contact with Edna?”
He appears a bit uncomfortable now, which is kind of adorable. “I stopped by a few times to check on your place. You know, to make sure everything was all right.”
Edna gives him an approving smile, which lets me know that another female has fallen victim to the Moretti charm. Bring on the eye-roll. “Sure did. And he came right up to me and let me know you were with him. Gave me his cell phone number and he took mine. We’ve stayed in touch.” She winks at me. “Got yourself a good one here, girlie. Don’t screw it up. Now you two lovebirds sit, and I’ll bring the food out in a minute. Mel is just finishing it.”
Tony leads me to the small table and pulls out a chair for me then takes his own. He pours us both a glass of red wine, all the while looking everywhere except at me.
He’s embarrassed?
“That is very nice of you.” I put my hand on his leg and squeeze. “Thank you.” His goes on top of mine, and we remain that way until Edna arrives with plates containing steak and a baked potato. “Wow, Edna. When did you start serving steak?”
“Since your young fella here requested it.” She waves a finger before adding, “Now don’t be getting used to this kind of finery. It won’t happen again until you two get hitched. Then I’ll cater your shindig.”
Heat rushes into my cheeks at her words, but Tony doesn’t appear bothered at all. In fact, he merely nods and says, “You have yourself a deal, Edna.”
We both cut into our stea
k warily—not sure if Edna’s talent with breakfast and burgers extends to everything—but to my delight, it’s amazing. “This is good,” Tony states appreciatively. I eat more than I have in years, finishing nearly all my steak and half the potato. As if by unspoken agreement, we keep our conversation light during the meal.
Edna is thrilled with our mostly clean plates when she comes back to take them. “He’ll have you fattened up in no time, girlie.”
I rub my stomach, groaning. “I’m glad you’re happy about it. After all that, I’ll be waddling back to the car.”
Tony carries the wine and glasses for Edna, and I see him slip her some bills. She nods at whatever he says, then follows him back to where I’m now standing. “Don’t be a stranger. And don’t screw this up. You won’t find another one like this.” It’s hard to be certain with his dark coloring, but it looks almost as if Tony is blushing. God, the man is adorable. Sexy, confident, bossy, funny…honorable. How can I not love him?
Shit.
I love him.
Oh fuck.
I’m in a daze for the entire trip back to the club. I don’t know why thinking those three little words have freaked me out so badly. After all, I’ve had those very thoughts several times lately. Yet I’ve managed to discount it for various reasons. It’s too soon. We don’t know each other well enough. I am damaged goods, and surely, he’ll never feel the same. And so forth. Yet it has been so clear this time. And I think what has shaken me most is the fact I haven’t attempted to talk myself out of it. I’ve spent most of my life in denial for one reason or another, but it’s no longer working. My walls are coming down, and with their collapse, my emotions are going haywire. Demanding to be heard and acknowledged. Tony parks, and we head through the club and upstairs to the apartment. As he closes the door, he leans back against it. “You were very quiet after we left dinner. Anything bothering you?”
You could say that. I’m in love with you.
“Not really,” I lie as I lay my purse on the bar and take a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “I think I’m going to take a shower, though. It’s been a long day, and I’m ready to get this suit off.”
I’m surprised when he begins walking toward the bedroom. “Would you mind if I go first? I helped unload a truck here earlier, and I could use a shower.”
I shrug. “I’ll use the one in the other bathroom. Just let me get some clean clothes. Didn’t you say they were dropped off earlier?”
I’ve only taken a couple of steps when he holds up his hand, stopping me in my tracks. “You’re going to have to wait on me, Duchess. There’s a…plumbing issue in the other bathroom. Thanks to one of the guys, no doubt.” He grimaces. “I promise I’ll be quick. Have a seat and relax until I’m finished.”
“Sure, okay. No problem.” I didn’t notice him smelling badly earlier, but it is his place. If he wants the bathroom first, then sure.
With him gone, I can finally relax. I lie on the sofa and allow my thoughts free rein. I am still slightly panicky at the realization that I’m in love with him. But it also feels good in a way. As if it’s maybe a step toward being a normal person. Real people fall in love all the time. Maybe I’ve been waiting for him. I’m not sure if I believe such a romantic notion, but if it’s possible for me to truly love any man, then it will be Tony. You mean, it is Tony. So, what now? When you’re in love, do you just tell the other person? What if they don’t feel the same? Is it okay to tell them via email or text? Uncertainty swirls in my head making me wonder why anyone would want to fall in love. As I lie there feeling much like a teenager with her first crush, I can’t help but think that maybe it would be easier to live my entire life as a spinster. And that’s still a distinct possibility because unless I find the courage to tell him, Tony Moretti will never know how I feel about him.
14
Tony
What a fucking idiot. I made a fool out of myself as I almost pushed Jacey to the side in my haste to get to the bathroom first. Part of this romantic night I planned was drawing a bubble bath. The rose petals and candles I picked up earlier are on the side of the sunken bathtub in the corner of the bathroom. I also bought bubble bath, thinking that women usually enjoy that. I have no idea why I even agreed to a bathtub in the apartment designs, and until now, it’s essentially just taken up space. But it seemed like something romantic, and I hope Jacey enjoys it. I didn’t expect her to go for the shower as soon as we arrived home, though, so thinking fast came up with a…plumbing issue in the other bathroom? Idiot. Hopefully, she doesn’t decide to check.
When the bath is ready, I toss in the red petals and then light the candles. I put in a small amount of the bubble bath, then turn the jets on low to create a whirlpool effect. Even I’m impressed. Although rose petals and bubbles may not have been the best idea. Still, it looks amazing. I flip off the lights and frown. The candles aren’t as bright as I thought they’d be, but after a few moments, my eyes adjust. I hesitate, feeling strangely nervous now. I’ve slept with my share of women through the years, but this is the first time I’ve ever gone to this type of effort to seduce one. And it has nothing to do with getting her into bed, but rather everything to do with showing her how special she is to me.
How much I love her.
Say what?
But isn’t it true? As insane as it might sound to others, I knew the moment she passed out in my arms. I’d been riveted—spellbound. She was the girl from my dreams, grown up at last. I found the one I never thought existed in real life. And those two weeks she spent with me only strengthened that belief. I let her go, and I gave us both time to get our bearings. Yet there hasn’t been a single moment in that time away from her when I seriously considered letting her go for good. She’s mine. She has been since that very first dream, and I’m never going to let her go again.
With a renewed purpose, I stride through the apartment and hear her before I see her. She’s fast asleep on the couch snoring with impressive intensity. Fuck me, even that’s cute. Should I scrap the bath idea? But then she mumbles something under her breath and stirs. I move closer until I’m standing at her side. “Duchess, are you awake?” Dumb question.
She stares at me groggily before releasing a huge yawn. “Oh sorry,” she murmurs as she puts a hand over her mouth. “I must have dozed off.” She wrinkles her nose in confusion. “Did you take a shower and put on the same clothes?”
“Er…I decided to let you go first. I’ve already started it for you. So up you go.” She’s staring at me as if I’ve lost my mind. Maybe she’s still half asleep. Or maybe I’m just a dumbass.
“Here, let me help you,” I say as I lean down and slide an arm beneath her legs and another under her back.
Her eyes go wide. “Um, Tony, what are you doing?”
“I’m carrying you to the bathroom because you’re too tired to walk.” Smooth, Moretti. She says nothing more as I retrace my earlier steps to the bathroom. “So…surprise,” I say grandly as I throw open the door.
“What the…?” Her words trail off.
It’s much darker than I remember. “I drew a bath for you. Here let me sit you on the side of the tub until your eyes adjust.” And then it happens. I slip on something and overcorrect. In almost slow motion, we pitch forward. Jacey squeals in shock as I literally toss her into the soapy water and end up on my knees on the floor. What in the fuck? Between the darkness and the fall, it takes me a moment to get my bearings before I begin trying to scramble up. Why is the floor wet? I hear gasping. Fuck, is she drowning? “Jacey, hang on, baby. I’m coming.” It’s pitch-black now; all the candles have obviously been washed out by water in our fall. I crawl on my hands and knees and manage to extend my arm enough to feel around for the light switch until I locate it. The glare of the overhead light blinds me, and I blink rapidly. Then I hear it again. The gasping. As my eyes adjust, I look at the bathtub, and my mouth drops open in shock. There are bubbles everywhere. On the floor, on the walls, and all over a laughing Jacey standing in t
he middle of them. “What…Duchess, I…are you okay?”
“Yes.” She gasps, then dissolves into a fit of giggles. “Oh my God, we’re so bad at this, Moretti. You were trying to do something sweet for me, and you…Tony, you blew up the bathroom with Mr. Bubble. Don’t you know you can’t put stuff like that in a whirlpool tub?”
She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
The Duchess is nowhere in sight. Instead, this is possibly who Jacey would have had she never been forced to protect her sister. To sacrifice herself. And right there on the wet floor, surrounded by a sea of bubbles, I say, “I love you.” She’s still laughing, clearly not having heard me over the commotion. I consider letting it go but figure I might not be brave enough to say it again anytime soon, so I raise my voice and shout the words, “I love you!” Which just so happens to coincide with the exact moment she locates the switch for the whirlpool. My declaration seems to reverberate off the walls. If the way she’s gaping at me now is any indication, she heard me quite clearly this time.
“Did you just say…?” she trails off uncertainly.
Do I take it back? She doesn’t look happy. More like nauseous. I manage to get to my feet without busting my ass, which is nothing short of a miracle. I use the wall as support as I ease around to where she’s standing. Man up. Don’t be a pussy. I clear my throat, then force myself to meet her wide eyes. “I said that I love you. Or maybe I’m in love with you is a better way to put it. Hell, I love Marco, but I’m not in love with him. So that’s maybe…yeah, an important distinction.”
She gives me a soft smile before shuffling to the edge of the bathtub. I reach out a hand to steady her as she climbs over the side. After dropping her earlier, I don’t think it’s a good idea to push my luck by picking her up again. She stops a few inches from me, and we’re standing almost face to face thanks to her height. She rests her wet hands on my chest before saying, “I…think I love you too. I know I’ve never felt anything like this for anyone before. Thanks to my past, a part of me wonders if I even know what that is. But I do know this with certainty. There hasn’t been a day in the past year when I haven’t thought of you—longed to be with you. Regardless of the reasons behind it, these past few weeks with you have been the happiest of my life. This apartment feels like the home I’ve never had, but I don’t think it’s the walls that surround us that make it that way. It’s you. You make me feel as if I’m finally home. Which I realize sounds insane. We hardly even know each other, but you’ve never felt like a stranger to me. A part of me recognized you from that very first day we met.” Thank fuck I’m not the only one feeling this. Never thought this would happen.