too."

  Again Dallas stared at her. "I've never before waltzed with

  a woman, but right now I wish there was music"

  129

  Smokey smiled at the very thought and then at herself. "I'd

  jbably step on your foot."

  Dallas smiled in return. "With your little feet, I wouldn't

  ;n notice."

  Smokey chuckled softly, a sound that sent a shiver down

  ; Dallas' spine.

  "Now how would you be knowing about the size of my

  feet?" she wished to know.

  Dallas' vast hands came up, and he held his fingers about

  seven inches apart. "You forget I've sailed with you. Your

  boots are only this big."

  Suddenly Smokey didn't feel like laughing. It seemed such

  an intimate, tender thing to have Dallas know the size of her

  feet. The thought of leaving him, perhaps for the better pan of

  the year, felt like a knife in her side.

  Smokey watched as those hands came forward now to

  frame her face. He made no move to kiss her, but she felt his

  thumbs stroke gently over her cheekbones. His eyes in the

  moonlight were warm and intimate like a man in love. Smokey

  was afraid to hope.

  "Dallas," Kathleen's voice came faintly from the direction

  of the house.

  "Yes, Kathleen?" Dallas turned but did not take his hands

  from where they'd dropped on Smokey's shoulders.

  "Buck and Greer are leaving now. Would you like me to

  ride home with them?"

  "No, Kathleen, I'll be there in a few minutes."

  They both watched as she moved back to the house, and

  Smokey was pleased at how calm Kathleen had sounded. It

  didn't change the inevitable, however--she was still sailing

  next week.

  "I have so much I want to say to you," Dallas spoke.

  Smokey tipped her head to see him.

  "Dallas--" Smokey began.

  "Kathleen and I are just friends."

  "I think I figured that out already, but it doesn't change the

  fact that I'm leaving."

  130

  "And you'd rather that I leave things unsaid right now?*1]

  "I might regret it someday very soon, but yes, I do. I don'tl

  want you here, not able to get in touch with me if you change

  your mind"

  "You don't understand if you think that's going to happen."

  Dallas wanted to say more, but Smokey was adamantly

  shaking her head.

  "You need to go, Dallas. Next time we see each other, we'll

  talk. We'll both have had time to think, and then we can share

  where we are."

  Her logic and ability to keep calm in an intense situation

  was one of the things he admired most about her, but at this

  particular moment, he wanted desperately to kiss her. He'd

  have loved for her to put her logic aside for just a few minutes.

  Instead he did as she asked His hands slid tenderly down her

  upper arms before he reluctantly broke contact.

  "Go with God, Smokey. You'll be in my prayers."

  The words were barely audible. Then Smokey stood alone

  and watched him walk away.

  "I think I owe you an apology, Kathleen."

  "No, Dallas, you don't." Kathleen's voice was tight with

  anger, and Dallas sighed

  "Yes, I do. You're furious and I--"

  "You're right," she cut him off in rage. "I am angry, but not

  with you."

  Dallas pulled the buggy to a halt and shifted in the seat to

  see her. It was getting colder by the moment, but he had to

  learn the truth.

  "What's going on, Kathleen?"

  "You wouldn 't believe me if I told you." Her voice was self-mocking,

  and Dallas persisted

  "Try me."

  131

  "My mother," Kathleen began but did not go on.

  "I get the impression that she desperately wants you to

  Hnany"

  "She does, Dallas, and I would love to be married, but not

  her way, not through pretense and deceit."

  "Pretense?" Dallas was adrift. "I'm not sure I understand."

  "Ask me anything about ships, Dallas," Kathleen blurted

  In anger. "Go on... ask me... ask anything you wish. I've done

  extensive reading on the subject. Or maybe you'd rather

  know about the pyramids. I was reading a book about them

  before you picked me up this evening." Kathleen blurted the

  words out, forgetting her promise to her mother.

  Dallas could only stare at her as she came to a stop and

  tears flooded her eyes.

  "My mother," she whispered tearfully, "believes that all

  men want a wife who's a little bit stupid and very clingy. She's

  been teaching me since I was a child that if I want a man, I can't

  let anyone know I am intelligent."

  The tears were flowing freely now, and after Dallas produced

  a large white handkerchief, he slipped his arm around

  her. She sobbed into his shoulder, and Dallas said nothing,

  only listened as she told the truth for the first time in years.

  "I don't know if you remember Harvey Blanchard, but we

  were seeing each other last year." Kathleen was developing a

  hard case of hiccups, but continued to unburden her heart. "I

  admire Harvey more than any other man I've ever known.

  He's brilliant and sensitive and I fell for him our first time out.

  At first I thought he might be feeling for me as I did for him, but

  Mother insisted that I play dumb, and quite frankly he was

  bored out of his head with my wide-eyed looks and inane

  chatter."

  The memory was so painful for Kathleen that she sobbed

  anew, her frame shuddering with harsh weeping. Dallas still

  kept one arm around her shoulders and let her cry. He didn't

  know when he'd heard anything so foolish as to pretend

  ignorance to attract a man. What rot!

  132

  "I made a decision tonight," Kathleen lifted her head and

  attempted to repair her face. Her voice shuddered some, but

  Dallas could tell that her mind was resolute.

  "My father is always telling me to be myself, and now I'm

  going to be. He's always up when I get home. I'm going to tell ,

  him that I'm done pretending and that I'm going to stand up to

  Mother. I'm sure he will side with me, but if worse comes to

  worst, I'll contact my aunt about moving in with her. She lives

  in Biddeford and is always asking me to come. I won't live a lie

  for one more day."

  "I'm glad you told me, Kathleen. I hope your parents see

  your side. I'll be praying for all of you."

  Kathleen's eyes were filled with peace as she answered,

  "Thanks for everything, Dallas. By the way," Kathleen went

  on, unable to remember when her heart felt so light, "does

  Smokey know what a wonderful husband you're going to

  make?"

  "I don't know," he said with a grin for the compliment. "I

  can't ever get that girl to stand still long enough to listen to

  me."

  "That's part of the problem isn't it, Dallas? She's not a girl,

  but a woman who knows who she is and what needs to be

  done. Unless I miss my guess, the very thing that frustrates you

  is also what you admire the most."

  Amazed at
her insight, Dallas stared at her. "Did Harvey

  stick around long enough to learn that you read minds?"

  Kathleen laughed, her first heartfelt laugh in a long time.

  "Take me home, Dallas, and on the way I'll tell you all about

  the pyramids."

  smokey dropped into her desk chair and with a huge sigh,

  leaned back and closed her eyes. She had begun to wonder if

  they were ever going to get away. With plans to be gone

  longer, it seemed every crewman had some problem with

  getting there on time. Any other captain would have found

  himself another crew, but not Smokey. She smiled at the

  thought.

  The smile also had to do with the comfort she experienced

  to finally feel the gentle rocking of the ship beneath

  her. She opened her eyes to look around the familiar cabin

  and then spotted Jenny's letter. It had come two days ago, and

  she hadn't even had time to open it. She'd have missed it

  altogether had they not been delayed. Even fearing that it

  might make her sad, Smokey decided to read it now.

  Dear Smokey,

  I miss you already and have to force myself not

  to think about how long you might be gone. Did

  Willa cry harder than usual? I hope not, but I know

  how she felt.

  The baby is really moving these days, and I get

  so excited every time I feel it. I'm glad you liked the

  wallpaper and fabric I picked. I hope the baby will.

  134

  Tate has had a busy week--I feel like I've hardly

  seen him. It's been the same for Dallas, but his

  efforts have paid off. The Zephyr is well on her way

  to readiness, and he plans to sail next week.

  Jenny had more to say, but Smokey put the letter down and

  stared into space. Dallas' face swam into her mind, and her

  whole frame shuddered with yearning. What if he met someone

  and married before she returned? What if he simply didn't

  mean what she thought, or he had been carried away by the

  moonlight and late hour? Smokey hated the questions she

  asked herself, but she wanted to be prepared for the worst.

  She stood and wandered to the wardrobe, where three of

  her five new dresses hung, not sure even now why she had

  brought them. Smokey fingered the sleeve of the gray dress,

  still able to feel the pressure of Dallas' hands on her arms as

  they had stood above the beach.

  With a careful movement Smokey shut the wardrobe door

  and began to pray. "Thank You, Father, that You've promised

  never to leave me or forsake me. Help me to leave Dallas in

  Your hands. I love him and I want to be with him, but I can't let

  that rob me of my peace and joy in You."

  Smokey prayed for herself for a long time before she

  began to lift Dallas to the Lord. Peace settled over her as she

  surrendered all to God, and as she finished, she wondered just

  where Dallas might be at the moment.

  The skeletal beginnings of the ship they had been working

  on when Knight Crafts had gone out of business stood stark

  against the gray sky. The sight of it had a saddening effect on

  Dallas that he felt determined to fight. He asked the Lord to

  help him persevere and be more resolved than ever before to

  raise the capital to start the business again.

  135

  He thought of the orders and leads Smokey had left with

  [ and praised God for her generosity. If he could make the

  linost of his time and effort, this would be one of the most

  Isuccessful voyages he'd ever sailed. He knew Smokey had one

  Stop to make in England and then she was headed south.

  Dallas found himself wishing that they might meet there, and

  then he knew that wouldn't be possible; she'd be well on her

  way before he arrived

  "Hello, Dallas," a voice cut into his thoughts. He turned to

  find Harvey Blanchard approaching. Dallas took the space of a

  heartbeat to cover his surprise and extend his hand

  "Hello, Harvey. What brings you out this cold day?"

  "I take a walk along here most days. Sometimes I stop to

  take time to think." Harvey stopped speaking, and both men

  stared at the ship in silence.

  "Will you ever be in operation again?" Harvey voiced the

  question he had often pondered in the past.

  "I hope to be," Dallas answered and turned slightly to

  study the younger man without appearing to do so. He remembered

  him of course, but seeing him brought back a

  clearer picture. He was tall and slim, with keen brown eyes

  and a serious brow. He and Kathleen had been several years

  behind him in school, but Dallas did recall that Harvey had

  been more than a little precocious.

  "In fact," Dallas continued, "I sail next week, and when I

  return I hope I'll be in better shape to assess that possibility."

  "Great," Harvey told him sincerely. "If you've a need for

  investors, my uncle is always looking for opportunities."

  "Thanks, Harvey, but I'd like to continue on my own for as

  long as I'm able."

  "I can understand that. I'm the same way."

  The men fell silent, and Dallas prayed How could he bring

  Kathleen up without looking obvious? He quickly concluded

  that uncomfortable or not, he had to give it a try.

  "It's a bit ironic that you came by today, Harvey. I mean,

  Kathleen mentioned you when I saw her a few weeks ago."

  136

  "Are you still seeing Kathleen?" Harvey asked, and Dallas]

  wondered if he detected a note of sadness in his tone.

  "Actually, we're just friends. But she mentioned you with

  fondness, and I thought it was funny that after she said something,

  you came by."

  "It's unfortunate."

  "What is?"

  "I don't know exactly. I cared for Kathleen, but there were

  some things I couldn't get comfortable with."

  "Sometimes things are not exactly as they appear," Dallas

  told him softly. Harvey stared at him. "I know she misses you."

  "Are you saying she might welcome a visit from me?"

  "She talked about going to see her aunt, but if she's home, I

  know she'd like to see you."

  Again Harvey stared "And you're sure I'm not stepping

  t>etween the two of you?"

  Dallas smiled "I'm sure. There's someone else, and Kathleen

  knows all about that."

  A small smile lifted the corners of Harvey's mouth as his

  hand came out. The men shook. "Best of luck to you when you

  sail, Dallas, and with your someone else. Thanks for telling

  me about Kathleen."

  Dallas nodded and shifted his eyes back over the water

  when Harvey moved away. He answered even though Harvey

  was already out of earshot many yards away.

  'You're welcome, Harvey. I hope you and Kathleen work

  things out." He fell silent then as his thoughts turned to his

  own "someone else."

  london

  "We're loaded, Captain," Robby reported to Smokey and

  waited for her orders.

  137

  "Thanks, Rob. Tell Pete and Nate they're on watch and tell

  rsey I want to go to Clancy's Place."

  'Will do," Robby rep
lied and shut her door. She threw the

  ibolt and began to change. She was feeling rather tired, but it

  would be some time before she was back here, and even

  though they were running behind schedule, she wanted to see

  Bart and Meg.

  An hour later the group left the ship. The men knew very

  well they were welcome to go elsewhere, but they loved

  Clancy's, so following Darsey and Smokey was more than Just

  habit.

  The usual exchange of conversation and coin took place

  inside, and before long, Smokey and her crew were seated

  around the back table with plates of food and mugs of tea or

  ale.

  Halfway through the evening, Meg reappeared She dropped

  her considerable bulk down at the far end of the table and

  beckoned to Smokey with one finger.

  "AVe told Bart he can 'andle things for a spell. I want to

  talk with me girl."

  Smokey smiled at her friend, who wasn't really old enough

  to be a mother to her but had always treated her with maternal

  care.

  "Where's that good-looking sailor ya had with ya last

  time?"

  "Dallas," Smokey supplied "He was just with us for the

  one voyage."

  "More's the pity. I thought there might be something a

  cookin' there."

  "Oh, Meg," Smokey laughed "You're a hopeless romantic"

  Tm romantic! 'ear her talk!" the older woman exclaimed

  "/ wasn't the one a gawkin* at ya with calf's eyes the whole

  evenin'."

  "He was not," Smokey told her and laughed at Meg's

  round-eyed expression.

  138

  'Ya spend too much time in the salty air, love. He could

  barely keeps 'is eyes from ya. In truth, he didn't even try."

  "Do you mean that, Meg?" Smokey had grown as serious as

  her hostess.

  "I've been working in this tavern for many a year, love, and

  I know a smitten man when I sees 'im. He was gone, I tells ya."

  Meg reached and tugged the braid that fell down Smokey's

  back "And you've never worn your 'air down afore this bloke

  sailed with ya. I says ya feels the same for 'im."

  Ahuge smile broke across Smokey's face, and Meg cackled

  with glee. They talked on, run talk, girl talk, until Bart shouted

  for Meg from the main room.

  "'is lordship bellows," Meg said and rolled her eyes, but

  she rose without further ado and went to him. Smokey had j ust

  stood to move back to her place with the men when she

  realized her tea was visiting her and she would need to excuse