Ch. 49
I don’t know how much time passed before I became aware of a cool hand on my head and noticed the ground I was laying on was soft instead of hard stone. Giving a silent prayer that we were back at the hotel, I opened my eyes gradually. We were not. However, I felt physically lighter from the relief of seeing James unharmed in front of me. He smiled and, though not completely at ease, I noted the tension around his eyes had disappeared. Miranda must have approved of what she had “read.”
“Claire, you’re all right. Charles had a chaise brought out for you to lie on. Do you think you could stand?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that with our current audience. Did we want them to know how weak I was or was it too late to hide that since I had fainted like an idiot? Casting my eyes around us, I saw that the three stood within human earshot and a number of those milling about had gathered to watch not bothering to hide their interest in our private drama unfolding off to the side of the thrones. I didn’t doubt they could hear everything I said. Nodding, I mouthed “yes” and held my hand out to him. He reached for me and helped me to my feet, keeping hold of my hand, sensing I needed him for stability.
Once I was up, the members of the Court looked me over. Miranda walked toward me. It was my turn, but I couldn’t stand without James, that much I knew. Would they let me sit back down? She surprised me by speaking kindly. “Claire,” my name sounded exotic with her accent. I wasn’t sure I liked it, or her. “I have seen both your thoughts.”
She had touched me while I was out and unguarded? The thought of it left me feeling violated.
“James has told us the truth, he did not knowingly mark you. However, the fact remains that it has been done.” I glanced imploringly at James. I didn’t understand how he could mark me without either of our knowledge.
“His mark on you is not physical. It is rare, but some vampires can mark a human mentally. It is a mark on your mind, not your body, that he has given you.”
I wondered if it was from our sessions together or our relationship.
“Please think carefully,” she continued, “have you experienced physical symptoms that you cannot control?”
My eyes widened in surprise and I felt James’ hand squeeze mine. Of course, it explained all of my symptoms lately. Personally, I’d believed it was my own weakness that I couldn’t guard myself sufficiently when I was with him; that I was too distracted by him. Strangely enough, knowing I was wrong was reassuring. Unable to form a cohesive sentence I gaped, and Miranda seemed to take that as my response.
Mouth tight, Miranda nodded once and turned to Charles and Anton. “They are linked totally. She has physical effects through him and I would assume he has the same.”
James disagreed. “That is not true. I have not felt physical symptoms as Claire has, and hers have been apparent only when I am thirsty.”
Miranda turned back and considered us for a moment. One long delicate finger rested on the tip of her aquiline nose. “We have no choice but to honor your request for approval James. Yours by its very nature is a life bond and one I have not seen for three centuries.”
I wondered at her deciding for the Court without discussing it with the other two. I must have missed something while I was out. Surprisingly though, she seemed pleased.
“Because your mate is an empath she is able to bridge your emotional minds. Am I correct in assuming you have spent a significant amount of time together recently?” Seeing James nod, she went on to explain. “Your gifts compliment each other well. Hers has linked you and she together psychically. And your own sensitivities have given her a bridge to your physical being. Do not be foolish enough to believe that bridge is one directional. You might have to look harder but I assure you it is there for you both. When you are weak so is she and when you are strong she is as well.” Miranda’s eyes sparkled for the first time in her excitement as she looked to me. “I must be honest, this development does intrigue me.” Turning abruptly back toward the other two, Miranda swished away in her dress, skirts whispering on the stones. Anton and Charles fell in behind her and strode out a door someone had opened in the wall behind the chairs, and they were gone.
As they left the large hall, James and I were left holding hands in front of the chairs I had decided were thrones for their royals. We didn’t feel free to speak with so many witnesses in the room, leaving us plenty of time to think quietly amongst ourselves.
I wondered if it was good or bad to be linked like this to James. Yes, I loved him and felt that we were two halves of a whole, but I had meant that metaphorically, not literally. And what did it mean for us mentally in the long term? Would I become more vampire or would he weaken through my human frailty? I tried to connect my symptoms to Miranda’s explanation. Was this why I was not as hungry or tired? Did that mean his nature was stronger than mine and was pushing mine aside already? My mind wrestled with all of the possibilities as we stood staring at the closed door.
“Excuse me,” I heard a familiar voice at my side. I looked over and saw the pale woman waiting calmly for us. I was surprised I hadn’t heard her approach. She motioned for us to follow as she led us out of the receiving room and into the antechamber where she indicated we were free to leave.
As we walked back into the disorienting noise and garishness of the monstrous bar, James went to the bartender and surprised me by asking for another glass. I gave him a curious look and he was apologetic. “I am sorry Claire, I need this. We will leave as soon as we can.” In rare form, he gulped down two more glasses in rapid succession before indicating with a gesture that we could leave.
It didn’t matter what Miranda said, I didn’t feel safe again until we were back in our room with our doors locked. For good measure I tucked a chair under the doorknob. James didn’t make a single teasing comment.
Once we were locked in for the night I took down my hair and kicked off my heels. James got comfortable as well, taking off his jacket and tie and loosening his collar. I had a sense of déjà vu as we went through the same motions as the night of the wedding. But this time my relief was due to us still being alive, not just accepted. The stakes were much higher for disapproval in his world.
James was standing next to me as I examined myself in the mirror over the desk. “Where did he hit you?” He asked curiously, eyeing my reflection.
That was what I had been standing here wondering as well. The last time a vampire hit me, she had given me a concussion, knocked out a tooth and nearly broken my jaw. This was a similar blow yet I didn’t see any residual marking on my face. “Do you think I’m getting stronger, like you?”
He stood, watching my eyes in the mirror. I don’t think either of us knew how we should feel about this new twist in our relationship. He shrugged noncommittally. “You must be. That was a hard enough hit to knock you down. It should have raised a bruise by now, maybe even cracked a bone. There isn’t even a hint of color.”
“Well,” I finally sighed, “it’s not all bad then if it makes me a better healer, since vampires seem to want to hit me or kill me a lot. But what about you? Why don’t you show any signs?”
He appeared thoughtful, his eyes had returned to their smoky hue now that he was well nourished. “I have been thinking about that since Miranda voiced her observation. My signs have been here all along as well.”
Fascinated, I waited.
“My humanity. I have struggled with it since my change. It is hard for my kind to maintain our humanity and to experience our human emotions for very long after changing. They begin to fade almost immediately. But, ever since we have grown closer,” he smiled making me blush at his reference to our intimacy, “I have experienced more human emotions than I have in over a hundred years.”
Not certain if that was good or bad, I watched his face closely in the mirror. “Is that hard for you?”
“No,” he sighed,
“it is probably the single most thing I miss about being human. That, and chocolate.” He grinned and ducked his head. I tried to picture him as a human enjoying a simple meal. Smiling a little uncertainly, James turned and kissed my cheek still facing the mirror. “Are you sorry to have met me?”
“That is the one thing I’m not sorry about in this whole thing. I’m so much happier having you in my life and I don’t see that changing no matter how this turns out. We can work through everything else.” And I knew we would. It felt natural to be with him. I could no sooner cut off an arm than be without him, James was literally a part of me now. Hearing it from Miranda had only proven what I already knew to be true. “You know, I don’t think I’ve eaten a real meal all day.” I thought about my stomach for the first time all afternoon.
His brow furrowed. “Yes, I noticed that. I think that’s something we should watch.”
Shrugging, I explained, “I’ve noticed I eat and sleep less. Honestly, I thought it was because of all the weird stuff going on and our schedules being messed up. But right now, I would love to eat.” He was more than willing to call down and have food sent up. I felt like a lab rat as he watched me eat. “Do you mind?” I laughed, a little annoyed. “You can’t constantly watch me for signs that I am turning into you, okay?”
Properly chastised, he grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. For the record though, I do like to watch you no matter what you’re doing. I will endeavor not to bother you by staring constantly; I can’t make any guarantees, though.”
I ate, though not my usual amount, I noticed. That still made me human, I thought, suddenly fiercely protective of that fact. Love James as I might, I was not prepared to make any long-term decisions about changing my mortality status. I held out hope that we would find a way to control the bleed between our natures, to put a gate on the bridge, so to speak.
After my belly was full we were sitting on the bed, me in my dress with my legs pulled up underneath me. He lay on his back, feet hanging over the edge, body propped up on an elbow. We spoke quietly about family and love and what it meant to us.
“What do you want in life?” James asked me, genuinely curious. “Have you ever thought about it?”
“You know, up until a few weeks ago I just wanted a quiet little life. A job that let me use my brain without having to be around too many people and enough money to take a vacation once in a while. Maybe I would get a cat or something, but I had never really thought that hard about it.” I shrugged. “Now that I can enjoy being around people, it opens up my options. It is still a strong possibility that I will work with books but maybe now I’ll open my own bookstore instead of hiding in the back of a library.” I went on boldly, wanting to reiterate my point even with the questions Miranda’s discovery raised. “I know that I have to have you with me. It just isn’t me anymore unless you’re here.”
His expression was guarded. “Did you feel that way before the marks? Do you think you have a choice or is it the connection between us influencing your decision?”
“I chose it when I first met you.” Smiling, I tried to reassure him. “That won’t change no matter how strange or complicated this gets.”
He tipped his face as I leaned in making it easier to kiss him. Pulling back, James looked at me. “I have something for you.” I was confused as I watched him reach under the pillow and his hand emerged with a small box wrapped in light green paper and a white bow.
“I love green.” I teased. He put the box in my hands.
His eyes warmed as he smiled boyishly. “I know.” It struck me how human he really did seem now that I had some perspective. I hadn’t noticed before due to my lack of exposure to other, more typical, creatures of his kind. The difference was night and day.
Leaning forward, I kissed him again, touched by his thoughtfulness. “You have no idea what you already give me, what having you in my life means…” I couldn’t finish. I felt the tears welling up at the thought of the years of loneliness I had anticipated.
James touched my hand, stroking the back with one finger. “You’ve almost died several times since I’ve known you. It might be that this isn’t the life you should be living. Wouldn’t you rather have some nice suburban life with a dog and 2.5 kids?” He wouldn’t let on what I could feel coming from him. He really did worry that I might change my mind. That the danger of his world would prove too great and I would run and that he wouldn’t blame me or stop me.
I shook my head wiping at the tears blurring my eyes before they could fall. “This is the only life I want to be living. Ever.”
He tapped the package. “Open it.” I heard his voice grow rough and I redirected my attention to the small box in my hand.
Carefully, I untied the bow and unwrapped the paper to reveal what was inside. It was a small black box and I sat looking at it for a moment spellbound.
Impatient, James reached over and clicked the box open. Inside was a beautiful opal necklace; the large oval stone was surrounded by small, delicate diamonds. I was breathless holding my hand to my mouth, admiring its elegance. As I held it, my hand shook and the light touched the stone at different angles, changing the face. The light green and golden brown veins ran through several shades of blues and gray changing in the light. I was transfixed.
“Do you like it?” He prodded curiously, anxious that I wouldn’t.
I answered with the first thing that came to mind, watching the colors change and dance, “It’s us, isn’t it?”
He nodded. “It seemed right before when I bought it, even more so now.”
I was speechless. The tremor in my hand caused the colors to shift, blurring the definition between the two, so much like we found ourselves now.
Reaching over, he took the necklace from the box and fastened it in place. My eyes were wet as the moment and the past few days washed over me in an emotional wave.
James’ hands slid up to draw me in, finishing his gift with a kiss. When he released me, I felt a bubble expanding in my chest.
“James, I don’t know what to say. It’s beautiful. I love it.”
His blue eyes held mine. “I bought it when I decided to bring you here. This seemed like the right time and place to let you know I was serious when I said, ‘I love you,’”
“Are you going to write this into your article on romantic Scottish getaways? Because girls love jewelry,” I teased, loving the smile it brought. He was still sitting from putting on my necklace. Sensing something was afoot, his brows peaked just a split second before I jumped at him and he let me roll him over to give him a proper thank you.