Page 13 of Fighting to Breathe


  “I haven’t ever gone without,” he groans, digging his fingers into the flesh of my thighs.

  “Me neither,” I whisper, leaning up to nip his chin.

  Pulling his hips back he thrust forward, causing my breath to hitch. He leans over me, cocooning me with his body, bending his head and pulling my breast into his mouth as his hands wrap around my thighs, gripping them tightly. My breath becomes ragged as his smell and the feel of him in and on me takes over, setting off sensory overload.

  Leaving my breast with a pop his tongue is thrusting into my mouth, and my hands that had gotten tangled in his hair hold on tighter. Then I’m flipped to my belly, my hips lifted high, and he enters me again, palming my ass, smacking one cheek, and then moving his hand up my back to my neck, while his other hand snakes around my waist, his fingers rolling over my clit.

  I press back into him hard, each thrust causing my core to tighten, pulling me closer to something unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life. Just when I feel myself ready to lose it, he pulls out and flips me around. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he settles me deeper into the bed, his eyes lock with mine, and he enters me slowly, kissing me again, this time softer.

  The moment feels suspended in time as our bodies work in sync, building into something that will destroy us both before putting us back together again. wrapping my legs tighter around him his arm slides under one thigh, changing the angle, hitting something different, something that has my body stringing tight and my back bowing off the bed.

  Catching my mouth again his pace quickens. I know he’s close to coming; I can feel it like it’s my own. His hand travels to my inner thigh and his thumb zeroes in on my clit, circling. My hands move to hold onto his shoulders then down to hold his ass, feeling his muscles bunch as his thrusts increase in speed.

  “I’m…”

  “Give it to me,” he rumbles as my nipples scrape against his chest and his cock hits just right, over and over, until my body explodes around him, my core convulsing, pulling him deeper into me and drawing his orgasm from him like it belongs to me. I hold onto him tighter, never wanting to let go, never wanting to forget this moment, knowing I have never been closer to a single person in my life than I am to him right now.

  Our bodies are one as they float away, intertwining into a single entity. His mouth on my eyelids, nose, and lips brings me back into myself. I wrap my shaky limbs tighter around him, not ready for us to separate. Our heavy pants are the only sounds to be heard as we lie there holding each other tight. My legs begin to loosen as my body succumbs to exhaustion.

  “I’ll be right back,” he says as I tighten my body around his when I feel him begin to pull out of me.

  Nodding, I loosen my limbs and lie back on the bed. He tosses a blanket over me, kissing me once more. I turn my head and track his movements. The light to the bathroom turns on then the sound of a sink fills the quiet room before the light flicks off and his feet pad against the hardwood floors, bringing him back to me.

  Once he’s at my side, he pulls the blanket back and spreads my legs slightly, taking the towel and wiping gently between my legs. Tears fill my eyes as the tenderness of his touch soaks into my system like a drug. There is nothing better than being taken care of by him, and I don’t even think he realizes how much each of these moments affects me. To him, it seems so natural, like taking care of me is the reason he was put on this earth. When he gets back in the bed, he pulls me up to lay draped across his chest, while his fingers run over my skin.

  “You’re quiet,” he observes, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “I’m memorizing,” I whisper, tracing my name with my finger over his heart.

  “What’s that?” he asks as his fingers trail lazily over my back.

  My finger stills, wondering if he knows what I’m doing, as I try to engrave my name on his heart as he has mine. “The moment…I’m memorizing it so I will always have it with me.”

  “We’ll make a million more.”

  “Yeah,” I agree then trace my name into his skin again. “But not another like this one,” I say, feeling my eyes grow heavy.

  “The others will be just as beautiful,” he says after a long time.

  “I’ll memorize them too,” I whisper just before I fall asleep.

  Chapter 12

  Austin

  I leave the bed, looking once more at Lea before forcing my feet to take me away from her. I know I will never forget the way she looks right now, lying on her stomach with the sheet draped over her ass, her breasts pressed into the mattress, her beautiful face soft in sleep. I woke her up twice more last night, took her the first time gently, but the second time, I lost it, taking her hard and fast until we were both out of breath and covered in sweat.

  Looking at her now, I crave her taste on my tongue. I want to spread her legs and wake her up with my mouth, but she needs sleep, so instead of doing what I want, I pick up my jeans off the floor, pull them on, and then make my way out of the room, closing the door softly behind me before heading down the stairs.

  Going to the kitchen, I turn on the coffeepot I had set up last night and pull down a mug, placing it under the stream of coffee until it’s full then replacing it with the pot.

  Stepping into the living room, I take a drink from my cup and look out the large window at the view beyond. I loved this house before I ever saw the inside because of the way Lea’s face had lit up when she spoke about it, and then I saw it for myself standing in this exact spot and knew I would buy it. I felt connected to Lea looking out at the water, knowing it was somewhere she had been, a view she loved. I swear half the things I did in my life were built around her; I just never admitted it to myself. It was like I was building a life for us, while waiting for her to come back to me.

  Moving from the window, I head to the deck, grabbing my phone on my way. Taking a seat on one of the loungers, I set my cup down on the railing and press send on my phone.

  “Hey, honey.”

  “Hey, Mom,” I greet, leaning forward and grabbing my mug.

  “Bre, Shawn, and the babies are going to come with us to Cordova.”

  “Mom,” I sigh, rubbing my forehead. “Lea’s worried about dinner with you and Dad, and now you’re bringing Bre, who you and I both know has a hard time holding her tongue in the best situations.”

  “Your sister misses you, and you haven’t met your new nephew,” she counters.

  “I need you guys to step back. I love you guys, but this is something I won’t budge on.”

  “You’re in love with her,” she states.

  “She’s still Lea; she’s still the woman I fell in love with fifteen years ago,” I explain quietly, hoping the words sink in. I know my mom means well, but she can be overbearing and intimidating when she wants to be.

  “I’m worried about you,” she says softly, like she’s finally getting how serious I am.

  “I know you are, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t have my own concerns, but if I get my way, Mom, Lea will be the mother of your grandchildren. I need you to understand that before you and Bre come here and tag-team her. She just lost her mom. She doesn’t have anyone.”

  “Austin—”

  “I gotta go. Love you guys. See you Saturday.” I hang up before she can say anything else then sit back in the chair, wondering if I should tell Lea to skip dinner.

  “Hey,” Lea’s soft voice pulls my attention away from the ocean as I look at the sliding door, where she is standing in her bare feet, wearing my thermal.

  “C’mere.” I hold my hand out in her direction then pull her down into my lap, rubbing my hand up her bare thigh. “You sleep okay?” Her smile against my bare chest and her mumbled, “Yes,” does something to my heart, causing it to beat harder. “Bre, Shawn, and the kids are coming with Mom and Dad.”

  “Great,” she says as I pull her shirt up her side, resting my hand on the underside of her breast, needing to feel her skin and hating that her body has drawn tight.
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  “Do you trust me?” I ask.

  “Yes.”

  Her whispered confession and her body relaxing against mine fills me with satisfaction. “Then you should know that I would never allow anyone to harm you, physically or otherwise.”

  “I know.”

  “Good.” I press my nose into her neck, loving that she smells like vanilla and me.

  “I need a shower.” She tilts her head to the side, giving me better access to her neck, where I nip her, groaning.

  “You smell good, but a shower sounds like a good idea.” Kissing her neck once more, I lift her off me pulling her inside to the shower, where we spend the next hour until were both satisfied, me more than her, because I leave the shower with her taste on my tongue.

  “How are things going between you and Lea?”

  I look at Ben then set my beer on the rail of my deck, where I swear once the nights are warmer I will have Lea bent over, so I can take her from behind while she looks out at the view.

  “Judging by that faraway look in your eyes, I’m gonna guess you guys are good,” he mutters.

  “Things seem to be getting better, but I can’t shake the feeling that something’s off.” I look away from him to the horizon. There has been something under the surface I just can’t seem to grasp, and not knowing what it is, is driving me crazy.

  “Maybe it’s time you tell her about what her mom did.”

  “I can’t.” I scrub my hands over my face. “I don’t want to be the one to tell her that shit, and I know it’s fucked up to be pissed at a dead woman, but I’m still fucking angry at Josie for not coming clean to Lea when she was alive. I feel fucking torn about it, because I know Lea has doubts about us. I can see it in the way she looks at me sometimes. I know she wants to ask me why I never came after her, but she’s afraid of what my response will be.”

  “What do you think is going to happen when she finds out?”

  “She’s gonna lose it, and since Josie’s gone, I’ll be the one left picking up the pieces,” I grumble.

  “I know why she did it, but I understand why you’re pissed, and believe me, I agree she kind of fucked you over in not coming clean.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Any word from the ex?” he prompts.

  “Lea talked to her lawyer, and he signed the papers as soon as he got back to Montana.”

  “So she’s clear of him?”

  “That part of her life is over, brother.”

  “Good,” he grunts, settling back into his chair. “Now your mom and sister are coming to stir shit up?” he asks, making me chuckle.

  “They are. You know Mom. I warned her to take it easy.”

  “Like that’s gonna happen.” He shakes his head, knowing my mom as well as I do, since he basically lived with us from the time we turned sixteen, when his dad kicked him out.

  “I know, but I won’t separate my family and Lea.”

  “I don’t think you should,”

  “I can’t. I know she’s afraid of being alone.” I take a pull from my beer, setting it on my thigh. “I want her happy, and I don’t even know if she realizes that part of her happiness is dependent on having people around who care about her.”

  “I can’t imagine Lea not having friends in Montana.”

  “She said most of her friends were friends of hers and Ken’s. I guess some of them knew he was having an affair and never told her about it,” I reveal.

  “Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with people?”

  “I have no fucking idea.”

  “Well, if you ever hear Rhonda’s cheating on me, you better fucking tell me or I’m kicking your ass.”

  “Shut the fuck up. You and I both know that is never gonna happen,” I scoff.

  “Just sayin,” he growls as his knuckles turn white around the bottle in his hand, like even the idea of Rhonda with another man pisses him off enough to break something.

  “She’s getting ready to have your baby,” I remind him.

  “I know, thank fuck.” His body relaxes, making me laugh. “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “How long’s it going to take until you tell me Lea’s pregnant?”

  “Seeing how it should have happened fifteen years ago, hopefully not long, but first I need to find a way to settle everything between us then put a ring on her finger,” I say.

  “You’ll find a way.”

  “I have to; our future depends on it,” I mutter as his phone starts to ring.

  “Lea’s calling.” He frowns, looking at the phone in his hand and swiping his finger across the screen, putting it to his ear. Through the speaker, I hear Lea’s worried voice saying something, and then Ben is up and taking off through the house. I get up and follow him, listening as he growls, “I’m on my way. Tell her I’m on my way.”

  “What’s going on?” I question, hopping into the passenger seat of his truck and slamming the door.

  “Rhonda went into labor. Lea’s driving her to the hospital now.”

  “Is she okay?” I ask nervously.

  “She was yelling in the background for me to get my ass there or she was cutting off my balls, so I think so,” he says, running a shaky hand over his head and stepping harder on the gas.

  “We’re less than five minutes away, and if you kill us before we get there, Rhonda is gonna be pissed.”

  His foot eases off the gas and he turns toward town, still speeding, but not as fast as he was. Once we reach the intersection for the hospital, I tell him, “Just pull up in front, and I’ll park the truck while you head inside.”

  “Thanks, man,” he says, and as soon as we pull up out front of emergency, he opens his door, thankfully remembering to put it in park before getting out and jogging inside. Once I have the truck parked, I head inside and see Lea standing in the hall, talking to Dr. Rubin. My pace quickens as his hand moves to her cheek then to rest on her shoulder, close to that spot on her neck I have claimed as my own.

  “Babe,” I say, which comes out more like a growl as I close the distance between us. Her head turns my way, and without saying anything to Dr. Rubin, she closes the space between us, throwing herself into me. “Shhhh.” I wrap my arms around her, noticing how badly she’s shaking. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, everything’s perfect. I got her here in time.”

  “You’re trembling,” I state, rubbing my hands down her arms. Her head tilts back and she smiles a beautiful smile. “I’m coming off an adrenalin rush, or that’s what Keith was just telling me.”

  I grunt and she smiles bigger, dipping forward, placing her forehead on my chest. “Is Ben in there with Rhonda?” I ask, and she nods then tilts her head back once more to look at me.

  “Yeah, she was already dilated to an eight when they got her settled in the room.”

  “So what happened?”

  “We were watching a movie and I got up to make us some popcorn. When I came back, she was bent over on the bed, holding her stomach. She told me that her water broke. I was going to call an ambulance, but she argued with me until I agreed to take her in my car. I drove like a crazy woman to get here, afraid I would end up having to deliver the baby.”

  Chuckling, I rub her back, muttering, “You did good, baby.”

  “How’s it going, man?” Keith asks, putting his hand on my shoulder when I turn to lead Lea to one of the chairs in the hall.

  “Good, you?”

  “Good.” He shrugs, looking at Lea then at me again, but I don’t see anything in his eyes when he looks at her—no heat or desire, just concern, the same kind you would have for any friend. “You gonna be okay, Lea?”

  “Austin’s here,” she says, like all she needs is me with her to make everything okay. He puts his hands in his pockets, watching as I take a seat and pull Lea down into my lap, instead of settling her in the seat next to me.

  “Dr. Rubin, can you come in here?” a nurse asks, poking her head out of a door across the hall from us.

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bsp; “Sure.” He nods, heading towards the room, going inside, and closing the door behind himself. Ten minutes later, a loud cry travels through the quiet hall.

  “Oh, my God,” Lea whispers, sliding off my lap into the chair next to me. Her arm wraps around mine and her head leans on my shoulder as we listen to the loud cry coming from a few feet away.

  “He’s perfect,” Ben says, stepping out into the hall spotting us. I get up and go to my best friend, giving him a hug and a pat on the back. “I’m a dad,” he says, and I see tears of pride in his eyes.

  “You’re going to be a great dad. Congrats, Ben,” Lea says from my side, and his eyes drop to her and he picks her up off the ground, spinning her around, making her laugh echo down the hall.

  “Thanks for getting her here,” he says, kissing her temple.

  “I didn’t want to deliver the baby,” she grumbles as he drops her to her feet, making him and me both chuckle.

  “The doctors are cleaning him up. As soon as they say it’s okay, I’ll bring you guys in to meet him,” he says, looking at the door anxiously.

  “Go be with your family, brother. We’ll be here,” I tell him, and he nods, heading back into the room. I pull Lea back to the chairs and sit with my arm wrapped around her while we wait.

  When Dr. Rubin walks out, we both stand and head towards him.

  “Mom and baby are doing great. Ben says you can go in now,” he says, patting my shoulder and smiling at Lea before walking off down the hall. When we walk into the room, Rhonda is in the bed, with her hair braided over her shoulder and the blankets up high around her. Ben’s standing, holding a small bundle in his arms while talking to the doctor, and the nurse who called for Dr. Rubin is filling out some paperwork off to the side.

  “Hey.” Lea walks over to Rhonda, leaning over and kissing her cheek, and I follow, doing the same. Ben comes over carrying his son in his arms. His head dips to look at his face and he speaks softly to him, once he’s close to us. “Braden, I would like to introduce you to your godparents, Lea and Austin,” Ben says, causing Lea to inhale a sharp breath.