Page 14 of Fighting to Breathe


  “Really?’ Lea asks, and Ben looks from her to Rhonda then back again.

  “We couldn’t think of two better people,” he says softly.

  “You’re gonna make me cry,” Lea complains, and I hear Rhonda’s laugh mix with Ben’s as he places Braden in Lea’s arms. Seeing her holding a child, even if it’s not ours, causes a pang to hit my chest so hard that I have a difficult time breathing.

  “He’s so beautiful, so perfect,” she whispers, running her finger down his soft, chubby cheek.

  “He is perfect, isn’t he?” Ben says with pride, running his finger over his other cheek. “We make cute kids, babe.” He tells Rhonda over his shoulder.

  “I know.” Rhonda smiles, and Lea turns toward me. I take him from her, holding him high up on my chest. He’s so small that I could probably hold him in one hand. Lea’s hand on my arm pulls my eyes to her. Her face is softer than I have ever seen it, and there is a look in her eyes that shows how badly she wants this, a family of her own.

  When her eyes finally land on mine, a small, sad smile pulls at her lips. I want to tell her that one day we will have this, but I don’t. Instead, I lean forward and kiss her softly then lean back to look down at Braden, who is asleep. His lips form into a pout, so I lean over, handing him to his mom before he has a chance to wake up and cry, then kiss her on the cheek, telling her softly, “You did good.”

  She smiles and looks down into her arms then up at Ben. I know they both had no idea this would be their life. Ben had been easygoing with relationships, never settling down until Rhonda. She changed everything for him, the same way he did for her. I was happy for both of my friends; they deserved this moment.

  “We should probably head out and let you guys get settled in,” I say, taking Lea from under Ben’s arm and wrapping mine around her.

  “Do you need anything?” Lea asks, watching as Ben settles into the chair next to Rhonda’s bed.

  “No, we’ve got everything. Thanks again, Lea, for getting her here for me.”

  “It was either get her here or deliver the baby, and option two didn’t sound appealing to me,” she says, making us all laugh.

  “We’ll stop by tomorrow,” I say as Lea walks over to kiss Rhonda’s cheek before coming to me and taking my hand. Once we’re out of the room, I wrap my arm around Lea’s shoulders and lead her out of the hospital to her car, since Ben drove his truck here.

  “Let’s stop at your house so you can get some clothes for the night.”

  She looks up at me and a blush touches her cheeks, making me wonder what she’s thinking. “I packed a bag. It’s in my trunk,” she says quietly, looking away from me.

  “Why does that make you embarrassed?” I ask, touching her cheek.

  “I didn’t want you to think I assumed I would be staying with you.”

  “Whatever bed I’m in is the one I want you in,” I explain lightly.

  “I just didn’t want to assume,” she mutters under her breath, pulling out her keys from her pocket.

  “Assume away, Little Lamb,” I tell her, taking the keys from her hand and smacking her ass.

  “I can drive.”

  “I know you can, when I’m not in the car with you,” I remark.

  “That’s ridiculous.” She frowns at me.

  “Get in the car.”

  “Or what?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest, glaring.

  “Or I put you in.”

  “That’s not gonna happen.” I say stopping at the passenger door and she moves around the front of the car to the driver’s side.

  “Lea,” I warn over the roof of the car.

  “Austin,” she mimics my tone.

  “Get in the car.”

  “Make me,” she says, and I start to head around the back of the car, but before I get to her, she takes off running through the parking lot.

  “Lea, get in the car,” I shout after her as she dodges between parked cars.

  “Let me drive,” she shouts back, moving back and forth from one side of a red Buick to another, like she’s trying to psych me out.

  “When I get my hands on you, I’m spanking you for this,” I warn, watching as something works behind her eyes.

  “You’re not.”

  “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll make you come after,” I tell her, and her eyes scan the parking lot, like she’s looking to see if anyone is around that could hear what I just said, giving me just enough time to catch her in my grasp before she can dodge me again. I pick her up over my shoulder as she kicks out then smack her on the ass one time, just hard enough to get her attention.

  “You just hit me,” she whispers as her body stills on my shoulder.

  “I spanked you, baby, big difference.”

  “You…you…”

  I rub her ass where I spanked her then bring my hand up between her legs. Even through the denim material, I can feel her heat. She inhales sharply at my touch, but doesn’t say anything else as I get her into the car and buckle her in before going to the driver’s side door.

  “Lea, stop,” I say through the glass as I press the unlock button on the remote, which does nothing, because her hand is over the lock on my side.

  “Tell me you’re not gonna spank me,” she yells.

  “Let it go, Lea,” I shout back.

  “No, tell me.”

  I bend down so I’m eye level with her and she can see my face, then growl, “You have until the count of three, Lea.”

  “I’m not afraid of you, Wolf.”

  “Oh, Little Lamb, you should know this is turning me on.” My dick is rock hard and I adjust myself so my zipper doesn’t cut into my skin. Her hand comes off the lock and I open the door. Without saying another word, I get in, start the car and drive. Her body is wound tight in the seat next to mine, her breaths coming in hard pants that tell me just how turned on she is right now. I swear I can smell her sweet pussy.

  As soon as I pull up to the house, her hand is on the handle of the door, but I press the lock button before she can get out.

  “Go upstairs, take off your clothes and lay on the bed face down.”

  “You’re not spanking me,” she whispers again, but this time the words curl with desire, and I know that even if she has never wanted this before, she wants it now.

  “Do what I say.” I unlock the door, watching her ass as she heads up to the house through the back double doors. I lean my head back and try to get my body under control then get out of the car and head inside, half expecting to find Lea in the kitchen, but the whole house is quiet. Taking the stairs two at a time, I make it to the bedroom and find Lea face down in the bed completely naked, her perfect ass in the air like an offering.

  I walk towards her, discarding my shirt and boots on the way. Reaching the bed, I pull her ass by the hips so that her feet are touching the floor, then I kneel down behind her between her legs. Without warning, I smack her ass twice, once on each cheek, then run my hand over the spot, listening as she moans and her hands move on the sheets, gripping them tight between her fingers.

  “Austin.” My name leaves her mouth on a breathy moan that goes right to my dick.

  “Don’t talk.” I slap her ass twice more; her body writhers in front of me, her ass pushing higher as her tiptoes press into the floor. She’s so wet that the proof of her arousal is coating her thighs. I spread her ass, burying my face between her legs. My name leaves her mouth again, earning her another smack, this time harder, causing her core to convulse around my tongue. Every time I feel her getting closer to the edge, I pull back just enough that she’s forced to come down.

  When her body is covered in a fine sheen of sweat and her legs are trembling I smack her ass hard before spreading her open and devouring her until she screams my name so loud that the sound echoes off the walls.

  Her body goes limp, and I unhook my jeans and move over her, sliding in deep, taking her so hard that the bed begins to slide across the wood floors. I don’t stop until I feel my orgasm at the ba
se of my spine and her pussy contracting around me, pulling me deeper than I’ve ever been. Two more hard thrusts, I plant myself deep, coming so hard that my toes curl.

  Being inside Lea is like nothing I have ever felt. Even when we were teenagers, making love to her was something different.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, once I find my voice again.

  “I don’t think I can move,” she mumbles, pressing her ass back into me, making me groan.

  “Let me get you cleaned up and I’ll bring us some food.”

  “Sure,” she slurs, making me smile. I pull out of her, hearing her mewl of disappointment from the loss, then kiss her back. Picking her up I settle her into bed before going to the bathroom and grabbing a towel to clean her up with. When I come out, she’s on her side, with the blanket tucked around her and her eyes closed. Instead of waking her, I crawl into bed behind her, pull her into my arms, and follow her off to sleep.

  Chapter 13

  Lea

  “Hello?” I answer the house phone as I set down the box I brought down from the attic on the kitchen table, opening it up.

  “Is Lea Lamb available?” a woman asks, sounding like she has a cold.

  “This is she.”

  “Hi, Lea, my name is Elza. I work for Douglas Pulaski, your mother’s attorney,” she says and I frown. My mom never told me she had an attorney, but there was a trend with my mom; she seemed to have kept a lot from me.

  “How can I help you?”

  “Mr. Douglas is out of town for the next month, and he left your mom’s will with me. Unfortunately, I’ve had pneumonia and haven’t been able to deliver it to you.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “I’m not sure when I will be able to deliver it. If you need me to, I can mail it off, but there are a few things I’m supposed to go over with you,” she explains blowing her nose.

  “Is there anything crucial in the documents?” I ask, feeling bad for her.

  “No, nothing like that. Mainly it’s just stuff having to do with the house and a few of your mom’s account.”

  “So it can wait. Just let me know when you’re feeling better and we’ll talk then,” I concede.

  “Thank you for understanding, and I’m very sorry for your loss. Your mom was an amazing woman.”

  “Thank you,” I mutter, still unsure what to say when people offer their condolences.

  “We’ll talk soon,” she says, hanging up.

  Putting the phone on the table, I open the box marked Lea’s Room. A picture of Austin and me from when we were seventeen sits on top in a dark blue wooden frame. Running my fingers over the image, I remember when it was taken.

  Austin and I had spent the day out salmon fishing and bear watching. When we got home, my mom came out on the front porch and snapped this picture of us, because she thought it was cute we were dressed almost alike, in jeans, hoodies, beanies on our heads, and boots on our feet.

  In the picture, you can see how much we loved each other, can actually feel it. Our fronts are pressed together, his stomach to my chest, my head is tilted back with my chin resting against his chest, and my arms around his waist. His head is bent towards mine, his hand wrapped around the side of my neck, and even in profile, I can see the admiration he had for me then.

  Setting the photo aside, I pull the next item out of the box, putting it next to the photo, then pull out what I had been looking for to begin with. My mom had given me a locket when I was thirteen, and I left it behind when I left home. Opening it up, there is a picture of my mom and dad, with their cheeks pressed together. It was taken the day they found out they were pregnant with me.

  “Baby!” Austin yells, startling me as he walks into the kitchen. “Why the fuck is the door unlocked?”

  “I thought you were going to be gone until tomorrow?” I ask instead.

  “Why isn’t the door locked?” he repeats, ignoring my question.

  “Because this is Cordova and I forgot about it,” I say as his arms wrap around me and he lifts me off my feet.

  “I don’t care. Make sure that you lock the door when you’re home alone.”

  “Fine.” I roll my eyes. “I thought you were going to be gone until tomorrow,” I reiterate placing my hands on his shoulders.

  “I was, but I met my quota early, so I unloaded and came over here to pick you up and take you home,” he says, dropping his mouth down to mine and stealing my breath. “I missed you.”

  “We saw each other this morning,” I remind him, smiling.

  “I miss you, even when you’re in the next room.”

  My heart starts to pound harder in my chest; I’m in love with him. I’m in love with him and have no idea how it happened. It snuck up on me suddenly, or maybe it was that I never stopped loving him, and the love I held for him all these years came back, knocking me on my ass. I never even stood a chance.

  “What?” He frowns, and I realize I just said that out loud.

  Crap.

  “I need to get new pants,” I say, and his face becomes even more confused, while my face turns red.

  “You need to get new pants,” he repeats, lifting me higher until my legs wrap around him.

  “For sure.” I nod and try to get down, but his arms hold me tighter.

  “I like these pants.”

  “I’m not wearing any,” I say, because I’m not. I have on a t-shirt and panties. I was getting ready to go to bed.

  “You’re wearing my favorite socks.”

  “You hate these socks.”

  “No, I told you I wanted to fuck you in them and nothing else,” he growls, walking to the wall and pressing my back to it while pulling my shirt up over my head before proceeding to show me just how much he loves my socks—or me in nothing but the socks—while he’s inside of me.

  “What are you doing out here?” I pull my eye away from the telescope lens and look at Austin, whose face is soft with sleep. His arms are crossed over his bare chest and his shoulder is leaning against the doorjamb, like he’s been there for a while, watching me.

  After he took me up against the kitchen wall at my parents’ house, he told me to pack enough clothes to last a few days, that I would be staying with him at his house. I didn’t even argue with him about it, just went to my room and packed a bag. When I was done, I found him sitting at the kitchen table, looking at the picture of us. He didn’t say anything to me about it, but I could feel his energy had changed from earlier.

  As soon as he realized I was there, he took the bag from me and added the framed photo of us to it. When we arrived at his house, the first thing he did was put that picture on the mantle above the fireplace before taking me upstairs and making love to me once more, that time slowly, like he was trying to memorize the moment.

  “I couldn’t sleep,” I tell him quietly.

  I woke up an hour ago and stared at the ceiling for thirty minutes before getting up and coming downstairs. I didn’t want to wake him up, because I knew how little sleep he has been getting, and I couldn’t fight the urge to toss and turn.

  “You should have woken me up,” he says, coming to stand behind me, placing a kiss between my neck and shoulder tickling me with his beard.

  “You needed to sleep,” I say, wrapping my arms over his.

  “So do you.” He says burring his face in my hair.

  “I’ve been sleeping better than I have in a long time,” I say honestly. Austin has become my own personal brand of sleeping pill. He has the ability to make everything better, and to keep my mind from wondering off.

  “What’s on your mind?”

  I miss my mom, I think but don’t say. I’m glad Austin has been letting me stay with him at his house; being in my parents’ house is difficult. It’s hard being surrounded by memories. Strange to be there knowing even though everything in the house looks exactly like it did before both of my parents passed away, they are never coming back.

  “You miss your mom,” he guesses, and I nod, feeling tears fill my eyes.
It’s an ever-present weight in my stomach.

  “Everyday something happens and I think, ‘Oh, Mom would love that,’ or, ‘I can’t wait to tell her about this,’ but she’s not here.”

  “She’s always with you.”

  “I know,” I agree, pulling the locket I found yesterday away from my neck and rubbing the metal between my fingers. “I think maybe I’ll feel a little better when I get her ashes,” I whisper. My mom donated her body to science, so after she passed away, the hospital sent her body off, and they would be sending me her ashes eventually, but I really have no idea when. “Can we take your boat out and spread her ashes where my dad’s boat was found?”

  “Of course, baby.”

  “Thank you,” I say, sagging into his warm chest and taking comfort from his embrace.

  “Did you see anything good when you were looking through your telescope?” he asks, breaking the silence.

  “Just the stars.” I smile, and his fingers dig into my sides, making me laugh. Then I whisper, “When I left, I would sometimes lie outside at night and look up at the stars, wondering if you were doing the same thing.”

  “Every chance I got,” he says, causing tears to sting my nose. “But now, I have you here with me, so I don’t ever have to wonder if we’re looking at the same stars again.”

  “You’re gonna make me cry,” I complain, and he kisses my temple then wraps his arms tighter around me. “Are you excited to see your family?” I ask as he leads me inside and back up to bed, where he drapes me across his chest.

  “Yeah, since they all moved, I don’t see them enough.”

  “Have you ever thought of moving closer to them?” I ask, tracing random patterns onto his skin.

  “No, I love this town and I love this house. I don’t ever see myself leaving.”

  “Oh.”

  “Are you having second thoughts about being here?” he asks quietly, but there is no mistaking the worry and agitation in his tone.

  “No.” I run my hands over his arms that have tightened almost painfully around me, trying to relax him. “It was just a question,” I say, smiling as he grunts loosing his arms. Laying there I listen to his breathing even out as he falls asleep, and then I do the same.