Violet turned to me. “They said he comes down for dinner, right?” I nodded. “We’ll do it then. We’ll both grab something and hit him as hard as we can with it,” she whispered.
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My eyes widened. Shit, she was planning to do it just like that? “What? No. We have to actually plan this. We can’t just hit him!”
She frowned deeply in anger. “This is a plan. ”
It wasn’t. We couldn’t just hit him without a plan. So many things could go wrong, and it had been tried in the past. “Violet, that’s been done before without planning it through. ” I shook my head. “We can’t, not now. ”
“Well, we can’t do nothing. We have to. How can you say not now?”
“Have you ever seen someone being murdered right in front of you?”
She frowned. “What? No. ”
“Well, I have. That’s how I can say not now. ” I stood up and walked into the bedroom. Cleaning seemed like a good idea for once.
***
The cellar door opened right on time, and my blood turned cold. Bile rose to my throat as he walked down the stairs, smiling, holding a bunch of bright purple violets. “Good evening, Flowers,” he said. Those three words had the power to stop my heart. I stepped back behind the table and clung to the chair. Selfishly, I was grateful for Violet being here now; it meant he would take his place at the top of the table—the farthest from me.
Violet stared at him, her lip curled in hate and disgust. Please don’t, I begged her silently. If she did anything, it would get her killed, and I didn’t want that again. This Violet had to live.
Her eyes flicked to the empty vase sitting on the worktop. Too thin—it was far too thin and flimsy to do any damage. I doubted it would even hurt him at all. She caught my eye and nodded. I shook my head, eyes wide.
“Summer,” Violet said, using my old name. Shit. No! My breathing slowed and I shook my head. He hadn’t heard yet. He was too busy being greeted by Rose and Poppy. No, I mouthed. She didn’t listen. Clover was standing sideways on to her. Oh God, oh God.
My breath caught in my throat as Violet swept the vase up and slammed it down on his head in one quick, swift movement. Rose and Poppy gasped as the flimsy plastic broke into only a few pieces and fell to the floor. Clover stumbled forward, but just a few steps.
This was it. My eyes widened in horror as he very slowly straightened up and turned around. Violet’s mouth dropped open. His eyes were hard, cold, and fixed on her. I gulped and my hands shook.
20
SUMMER
Friday, January 21st (Present)
Clover slapped her cheek hard, and the sound echoed through the room. Violet cried out in pain and held the side of her face as she fell to the floor with a thud. I couldn’t watch this anymore. I couldn’t stand by and do nothing like I had with the other girl, and if he killed me too, then that was fine. Maybe he would be doing me a favor anyway.
I reached out to grab another vase. It wouldn’t kill him, but that didn’t even matter. This was about standing up for what was right. My fingertips had barely grazed the vase when Poppy grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me backward.
“No,” she hissed in my ear. I struggled in her arms, but she had a tight grip on me. I can’t do this. My legs gave way and I collapsed to the floor. It was too much. I was tired to putting on a smile and playing happy families.
Violet stood up straight, trying to seem confident and unafraid, but her hands shook with fear and her eyes were too wide. I admired her bravery, though. I’d never seen anyone look as terrified as her but she faced him anyway.
He took one small but purposeful step forward and something flashed through his eyes—something pure evil. Before I could blink, he launched himself at Violet and started punching and kicking her continuously. With each blow, she screamed a deep, throaty scream. Her arms darted in front of her face and she curled up in the fetal position to protect herself.
I watched, again. Whenever this happened, I couldn’t tear my eyes off the scene even though it was the last thing in the world I wanted to see. And it never got any easier. Rose and Poppy still flinched and backed up, but they were used to it now. They didn’t look like they were going to pass out or break down.
The sound of Violet’s screams pierced right through me, rooting me to the spot. I gulped. My legs turned to jelly and I fell to the floor. Poppy dropped beside me and wrapped her arms around me. He was killing her. I wanted to help, but I couldn’t move, and Poppy’s arms held me tight.
Blood trickled from Violet’s nose down her chin. The blows to her body were harsh and brutal and every single one tore through me. I burst into tears at the sound her painful cries. Grabbing her hair, he pulled her up. She screamed in pain and gripped her chest. He sneered and punched her in the face. She stumbled back, slammed into the wall, and sunk to the floor.
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She gagged and spat red-stained saliva on the floor. Clover jumped back and wiped his forehead, eyes wide and nose turned up in disgust. The blood on his hand turned his face a pale white and he turned and ran up the stairs. Poppy released me as soon as he closed the door. I ran to Violet. She was limp on the floor and covered in blood. Her matted hair was tainted red and clung to her face in clumps.
“Violet,” Rose whispered, gently placing her hand on her shoulder. “It’s going to be all right. We’ll get you cleaned up. ” Would it matter? Surely he was going to come back for her soon enough. “Towels, Lily,” Rose ordered.
I jumped up and ran to the cupboard, eager to help in any way I could. I didn’t know a thing about first aid, but I knew we needed to stop Violet’s bleeding as soon as possible. Rose snatched one of the towels off me and pressed it against the cut on Violet’s head.
“Take the other side,” Rose ordered. Other side? I stepped over Violet and noticed what Rose was talking about. There was another deep cut on her head, almost exactly opposite to the other one. It was barely a centimeter long but blood flowed freely from it.
I sobbed, no longer being able to hold back my tears. “I’m sorry, Violet, I’m so sorry,” I whispered and pressed down hard on the towel. She whimpered and hissed in pain. As much as I wanted to pull away and stop hurting her, I knew I couldn’t. “Sorry. ” We all knew doing this was pretty much a waste of time. When he came back down, he would kill her if she hadn’t already died, but we couldn’t leave her. We had to try.
***
Poppy knelt down beside me with a plastic bowl of water, cotton balls, and thick padded bandages. “We should get her to bed as soon as we’ve cleaned her up. Hang in there, Violet. ” Poppy dipped a cotton ball into the water and very gently dabbed it around the cut Rose was tending.
“Ahh!” Violet cried out. “No, it stings,” she said, gasping to catch her breath.
“I know, and I’m sorry. We need to clean these, though. I promise it won’t take long, and I’ll be as gentle as I can. ” Poppy brushed the cotton ball along the bottom of the cut. I grabbed Violet’s hand, and she squeezed it tight—it reminded me of a woman gripping hold of her birth partner’s hand. Blood seeped through the towel I had pressed on her cut with my other hand, staining my fingers red.
My chest felt like it was being squeezed. I was utterly terrified she would die. She was my only chance. Was this too bad? She could have internal injuries we couldn’t see and her head looked really bad. I could still hear the loud thud as her head smashed against the hard wall. What if something happened to her? If she died then I didn’t know what I would do. I should have tried to help her. Looking at her swollen and bloody face, I’d never felt so helpless before.
Poppy bandaged one cut and moved around to do the same with the one I was tending. I moved the towel and Poppy cleaned the cut. Rose stood awkwardly over Violet, holding the bandage up, ready to put it on as soon as Poppy was finished.
“Okay,” Rose said once we’d c
leaned and bandaged Violet’s wounds. “Let’s get her in bed. ” Rose and Poppy picked up either end of Violet’s body, and I supported her back.
Violet cried out in pain, and the sound echoing through the cellar made me flinch. She held her chest and breathed deeply. Broken ribs? “We’re nearly there,” I told her. We needed painkillers. If she had broken ribs as well as the cuts to her head, she was going to be in a lot of pain. He didn’t let us just have pain pills, though. That was controlled by him—he only allowed us two at a time.
I ran ahead and pulled the cover back on her bed, ready for her to get in. Rose and Poppy carefully laid her down. I covered her to her hips, not wanting to go higher and lay it on her ribs. “Am I going to die?” she whispered. Her breathing was labored, and it sounded like she was struggling to take every one.
Shaking my head, I perched on the side of her bed. “No, you’re not. You’re going to be fine. We’ll look after you. ” That bastard wasn’t going to get his way. I would do everything I could to make sure she was okay. I wanted to make up for letting this happen. “Try and get some sleep. ” If she were asleep, she wouldn’t feel pain.
Violet closed her eyes and continued breathing hard. I doubt she would sleep much, but at least she was getting some rest. Wiping my tears away, I took a deep breath to calm myself. What was going to happen now? He would be back eventually. Did he expect a body wrapped up in a black bag?
I gasped as I remembered. “We have painkillers!” When Poppy and Rose pretended I was ill, he had brought two down for me. Rushing to my bedside table, I grabbed them from the drawer and ran back. “Violet, take these!” Her eyes flicked open. She looked at the pills and opened her mouth, accepting them immediately. “Want water with them?” She shook her head. I couldn’t take them without water—it was gross and they stuck to my throat. Violet had to have been in a lot of pain.
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“Just one, Lily. We’ll need to ration them,” Rose said. As much as I wanted to give her both, I knew Rose was right. We only had two and getting more wouldn’t be easy.
“Thanks,” Violet whispered once she’d swallowed the pill I popped in her mouth.
Rose stood up from the bed. “We’ll leave you to get some rest. ” I shook my head, not wanting to leave her on her own. Rose shooed me with her hand and widened her eyes—she wanted to talk about something without Violet. I got up and followed them out.
“What?” I asked as Rose shut the bedroom door.
“We need to think of something for when he comes back. He won’t be happy with this outcome. ” Violet surviving. The sick bastard! “I’ll speak with him and try saying Violet thought we were going to come to harm or something. I’m not sure yet. ”
I sniffed and wiped my eyes again. I was just holding it together. All I wanted to do was curl up in a little ball and cry, but I couldn’t give up. I still had hope. “Will she die?”
Rose sighed. “I’m not sure. I truly hope not. ”
Violet couldn’t die. I had only known her a few hours but down here that seemed like years. Everything down here seemed longer. She was the only one who was as desperate to get out as I was. I needed her.
***
My heart jumped into my throat as I heard the cellar door creaking open. I gripped Violet’s hand and closed my eyes, saying a silent plea to Clover to leave Violet alone.
Someone opening the bedroom door made me jump. I leaped up but then sagged in relief as Poppy stepped in and closed the door. She was by herself. So he was listening to what Rose had to say?
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Rose is speaking with him now. ”
“Should we try and listen?”
Poppy shook her head. “No. If he came in and caught us, he wouldn’t like it. ”
I clenched my jaw shut as the overwhelming urge to shout and scream at him flooded me. There were so many things I wanted to say to the bastard, but not one I could say without getting myself killed.
“How long do you think it’ll take her to convince him?”
Poppy shrugged. “If she can, it could take a while. He doesn’t change his mind often. ” His sick, screwed-up mind. Something really shitty must have happened to him, but that wasn’t a good enough excuse to do what he was doing. I sat on my bed next to Poppy and we waited silently for Rose.
While we waited, I thought of so many things I would be willing to do if he just left her alone. I would never complain about being down here again. I would never again shout at Poppy or Rose for calling me Lily. I would never try to think of ways to hurt him.
I looked over at Poppy as we heard the cellar door open and close again. I didn’t want to get my hopes up but he hadn’t come for her—that must be good. Rose opened the door and smiled. “It’s all right. ”
“What?” I asked, my eyes wide in shock. He wasn’t coming back for her? I hoped but never expected it to happen.
Rose nodded and sat down on Violet’s bed. “I explained that she was scared. Said she thought he was going to kill all of us and was just trying to protect us. He mumbled incoherently for about ten minutes. I couldn’t understand a word of what he was saying. ” She stopped and frowned. “It was odd…and frightening. ” I gulped. Rose being frightened was frightening. “Eventually, though, I managed to convince him that she didn’t know what she was doing. She hadn’t understood that we’re a family. ” I clenched my jaw. We are not a family.
“So he’s going to help her?” Poppy asked. Her eyes were wide with surprise.
Rose bit her lip as she searched for the answer. “He’s agreed to letting us help her. He won’t be bringing any medication down for her as punishment. ” I sat frozen. He was going to leave her in pain. I felt the air leave my lungs as if I had been punched in the stomach. He wasn’t being merciful—he was being vengeful. She had done something he didn’t like, and he was making her suffer for it. My hate for him consumed me. I gritted my teeth. My blood boiled. I wanted to kill him. I wanted him to die in the way he had killed so many girls.
“Okay. ” Poppy nodded. “Well, it will be fine. We’ll look after her. She will heal with our help. ” She would heal, but how long would she be in intense pain until then? I looked away to Violet’s fragile, broken body. She would have been better off if she died. Living here, in her situation, was much worse than death. I’m so sorry.
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We sat in the bedroom for hours. A loud bang followed by several thudding noises came from the main room. I gasped in surprise and my heart started racing. “What’s that?” I asked, moving in between the door and Violet’s bed. A shrill woman’s scream answered my question. “No. ” He was doing this now?
Rose looked at the closed door with her mouth hanging open wide. There was something about only hearing what he was doing that made it so much scarier. In my head I imagined more blood, more gore, more violence.
“No, no, please?” the woman shouted.
Tears filled my eyes. “Rose, what do we do?”
She gulped. “You do nothing. I’ll stand just inside the door and wait until it’s over. He’ll want to see at least one of us. ” Poppy walked with her, and they creaked the door open and stood at the threshold. My heart was in my mouth as I listened to the awful sounds of her crying and begging for her life. How could he not care that he was killing a person?!
“What’s going on?” Violet rasped from behind me. Another guttural scream echoed through the room and I froze. “What’s that?”
“Shh,” I whispered, letting my tears drip to the floor. “That’s the reason we do what we’re told. ”
21
CLOVER
Friday, January 21st (Present)
I locked the girls’ door with trembling hands and shoved the bookcase back to its place. Dirty—I was dirty and disgusting. I needed to be clean. I needed to regain control. My hands shook and my heart raced. The blood was smea
red over my hands and splatters covered my clothes.
The bathroom was on the first floor, and I made it in a daze. Switching the shower on, I pulled my clothes off in a rush and shoved them in the sink. They were going to have to be burned. No amount of washing would get them clean, but it wouldn’t matter; I had duplicates. I stepped into the shower, and the familiar sting of boiling hot water relaxed me. I could feel the germs being washed away. The anxiety and fear slowly subsided.
I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. It had hardened itself to the hot water. I used to feel tender after but not anymore. Clean now. I’m clean now. I can do this. I will not fail. I can do this. Mother was wrong. I didn’t need her to survive. I was doing fine. I’m not failing.
Mother wouldn’t like the girls, of course. She wouldn’t like that they helped me, and she wouldn’t like that they had my heart. She wasn’t here, and she couldn’t tell me what to do. I could do whatever I wanted now. I was in control of my life, not her. Not you.
The girls would be finished soon, so I dressed in clean clothes and bagged my dirty ones. The fire in the living room was already filled with coal and wood; I lit it and threw the bag straight in. I watched the flames grow and lick at the bag, turning it black in a matter of seconds. The clothes disintegrated into ash in front of my eyes, and my posture automatically relaxed. There was just one more thing to do before I could relax—get that filthy whore out of my house and away from my girls.
When I returned to their room, they were sitting on the sofa, reading. The whore was by the stairs, ready to go. Lily looked on over her book, staring at nothing. I understood this life was much different to the second-rate one she had with her former family. She had settled in just fine.
Rose smiled, tilting her head to the side and her long, dark hair fell half in front of her face. She was a very beautiful person, and very womanly and loving. To this day, I regretted how things had turned out. My life should have been different. Rose—Shannen—and I should be together. She should have been the one picking up the wool and clothes for the girls. She should have been the one I woke up to, rather than the cold, empty space in my bed.