I start running again and this time I don’t stop until I reach the high-rise where my brother lives, several miles away. I pass security without a need to sign in; I’m on his list and security knows me well. I’m at his door just as quickly. Knowing Gabe will leave the door open for me, I enter and head through the living room, a room framed with brick on two walls and a floor-to-ceiling window spanning another. Everything in his place is brown and tan, the décor masculine, the statement screaming: Bachelor forever. I get it. I felt the same way.
Until Carrie.
I walk up a set of stairs that leads to the upper-level kitchen to find my sister standing at the wood-finished island with Gabe, both in sweats and T-shirts like me. “Let me guess,” I say, leaning on the door jam. “You’re here to tell Gabe your big news. Are you—”
“If I had a secret,” Cat says. “I wouldn’t tell you two. At least not right now.”
“So she’s pregnant, but not announcing it yet,” Gabe says, leaning on the island. “An assessment I make by the fact that she won’t say she’s not.”
“Good grief. I’m not on the stand in a courtroom.” She folds her arms in front of her. “What happened with Carrie?”
“You saw what happened. She fucking hates me now.”
“You made her feel like you were using her, Reid.”
“I know, fuck, I know, Cat. In my mind, at the time, it felt like the best way to get her out of there and try to get her off his radar.”
“I know,” she says. “You told me that, but if it were me, if I were Carrie, I’d be hurting right now.”
“Sounds like a six-dozen roses apology is needed,” Gabe says.
“No,” I say. “She thinks I took over her company to hurt her and her father. She thinks I’m using her for some endgame. Roses will feel fake.”
“Agreed,” Cat says. “They might actually make it worse. What are you going to do?”
“I told dad I’m forcing his retirement.” I look at Gabe. “Has he called you?”
“No, and Cat told me what you said to him, but how the fuck are you going to force him out?”
“I know something he did that he doesn’t want anyone else to know.”
“Then why the fuck haven’t we gotten him out before now?” Gabe says. “Let’s do it.”
“You’re really going to do it?” Cat asks.
“Yes. I’ve wanted him out since I read that letter from mom.”
“You have?”
“Yes, Cat. I have. I didn’t know who he was. I’m not him. I’m really not him after meeting Carrie.”
“Do you want me to talk to her?” she asks.
“No,” I say. “Not yet. Maybe, but I don’t want you being connected to this. I want her to know you as you. She needs to know we aren’t like him. I know she saw the real you yesterday, at least.”
“He needs to know we’re united,” Gabe says, drawing our attention back to our father. “The three of us. That’s not something he’s used to. It’ll let him know our role in his bullshit is over.” His cellphone rings, and when he answers his lips curve. “Send him up.” He disconnects. “He’s here. How well-timed.”
“Yes, it is,” Cat says. “Because I’m still angry about him making a scene at Reese’s party.”
“Anyone want a drink while he comes up?” Gabe asks, looking at Cat.
“Stop trying to make me announce that I’m pregnant,” she says. “And why would I drink? I need to be here and present for this.”
“I’ll go get him,” Gabe says. “He should be at the door any minute.” The bell rings. “And there he is.” He rounds the island and I step further into the kitchen to allow him to pass. Once Gabe is gone, I look at Cat. “Let’s go to the living room. I don’t want us all trapped in this small space with him. I actually think he will find that empowering, a place he can throw his power around and have it bounce off the walls onto us.”
“Good idea,” she says, hurrying forward and out of the kitchen, down the stairs.
I follow her and right about the time we’re standing on the far side of the couch facing the door, Gabe and our father walk in the door. They join us, the two of them facing us until Gabe steps to the opposite side of Cat, the three of us facing him. “Isn’t this cozy,” he says. “My three children, whom I love.”
“They’re with me,” I say. “You’re out.”
His lips twitch and he looks at me. “I’ll leave the firm, but my payout will be substantial.”
“It’ll be what I say it is,” I say. “And we both know why.”
“I don’t think you have the balls to act on that threat.”
“You don’t believe that or you wouldn’t be here trying to recruit Gabe to your side. You’re out.”
“Maybe later, when work isn’t everything to you,” Cat says, “we can try to be a real family.”
He looks at her. “You have no place in this conversation. You walked away from the firm. Stay out of it.”
“Perhaps the only one of us that was smart about her life,” Gabe replies dryly.
“All this for West’s daughter?” my father demands, turning his attention back to me.
“It’s for all of us. It’s for mom and yes, for me, it’s also for Carrie. The war is over. There’s closure. West Senior is out and so are you. A new generation now runs both companies.”
He stares at me, his eyes glinting hard. “I’ll send you my terms. Meet them and I’ll leave quietly.” He turns to walk toward the door but stops short turning to pin me in a stare. “But I’m never out, boy. Remember that.” This time he rotates fully and leaves.
When the door is shut, the three of us stand there, seconds tick by before Cat says, “A new generation. Mom is cheering from above.”
I scrub my jaw, thinking about Carrie. “I need to go.”
“To Carrie?” Cat asks.
“No, but I have an idea to get her back.”
I head for the door, and then the elevator. The minute I’m on the street, I call Carrie’s father. He doesn’t answer. I leave a message. “I want to make a trade. Call me.” I start running for the return home and I’m halfway there when he calls back.
“If that trade involves my daughter, forget it.”
“If I push my father out, you tell her everything.”
“Never. I did this the way I did it, so she’d never know everything and I will never let you be with her. Never.”
“I’m giving you my father’s demise in exchange for you telling her everything.”
“You won’t admit it, but you wanted his demise. I gave it to you. Thank me by staying the fuck away from my daughter.” He hangs up.
There's only one way I can force Carrie's father to talk. I'd have to get new dirt on him and blackmail him and he deserves it, but I can't do it. Not if I want her back and I do. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
Chapter Fifty-Four
Carrie
I wake Sunday morning on my couch, where I ended up after tossing and turning in my own bed. I actually couldn’t sleep in my own bed alone. I tried. I even took a double dose of melatonin because why wouldn’t I let Reid turn me into a druggie? Not that melatonin is really a drug, but still. I’m not a person of excess, unless it’s related to that man. Which is why I had laid in my bed thinking about being in his bed and all the things he would have done to me, including just sleeping with the man. Then, thinking about him standing with his father on the other side of that kitchen island. The two versions of Reid contrast in my mind to such an extreme that it’s confusing me.
Sitting up, I cup my head, which is throbbing from all the crying, and I head to the kitchen where I start a Keurig pod brewing and then pop two Excedrin with a swallow of water. I reach for my phone in the pocket of my sweats that I wore to bed—because I just needed to be ready to do something, though I have no idea what—and I remove it. I actually check it for messages from Reid because I’m the pathetic girl who is obsessing over the man who’s using her and who humiliated her less than
twenty-four hours ago.
I grab my coffee and pour a ton of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups creamer in it because I never ate the ice cream last night. I deserve the splurge. I head back to the couch and decide that work and a hard workout is the only way I can survive today. Since it’s the middle of the night in Japan, I email my brother about the event center, hoping the contact he has for the sale is as good as he promised. I then head to my bedroom, throw on workout clothes, and head to the gym on the fifth floor, since awkwardly running into Reid during a run is not on the agenda.
I’m just leaving for the gym when my phone rings with Reid’s name on the called ID, and I don't hesitate to answer. I need to work from home for a few days. I need space and I tell him just that. The asshole lectures me about doing my job and how my role as CEO means putting aside personal baggage. And he’s right. No asshole, in other words, him, should keep me from my goals and my job. I’m now almost as pissed at myself as I am at him. Almost.
Once I’m in the gym, I burn off a lot of emotion, then run to the store to grab all the items that are in my suitcase which Reid still has. I return to my apartment, check my email to find nothing from my brother, and then I shower. I settle onto my couch and start looking for a backup plan if the event center bombs. Every hour that passes is torture. I think of Reid. I want Reid. I hate Reid. I might be in love with Reid, which makes me hate him all over again. And isn’t this just what he promised? He knew I would end up hating him because he knew he’d done me wrong.
“Asshole,” I whisper.
By evening, when it will be morning overseas on a workday, I’ve just ordered Chinese food when my brother calls. “I’m walking into a meeting, but I want my percentage on this.”
“I’ll pay you a finder’s fee, but not a percentage.”
“How much?”
“Nothing if I don’t do the deal, which means I need the number.”
He actually hesitates but gives it to me. Our goodbye is curt. I dial the business office for the event center and connect with the man I need to speak with. His English is good and he confirms that yes, they are considering a sale. We talk about what he needs from me and the starting bid is a huge number, but he emails me financial data to justify the sale.
I spend the next few hours working through that data, putting it in presentation form, and it does look good. I email it all to Reid and then I fall asleep on the couch with my MacBook beside me and my phone beside it. I shouldn’t want it to ring again but I do. “I hate you, Reid Maxwell,” I murmur into the darkness.
***
Reid
I want to call Carrie, but I can’t take her shutting me down again. I need stand in front of her and make her listen. And so I work out long and hard, and finish with a cold shower and memories of fucking Carrie in this very shower. I then call the contacts I need to call to get the money together for Grayson, which leads to a dinner I really don’t want to have. After hours with the “money men” as they love to call themselves, I arrive back to my apartment, with the promise of an investment so damn large, it even makes my head spin, and I’ve done my share of mega-deals. This project Carrie came up with for the event center is hot. I hope she can pull it off. I hope we can pull it off.
I walk into my godforsaken, big-ass empty apartment. Why did I want this place? My phone rings and I dread looking at the screen. I want it to be Carrie, but I know it’s not. I pull the damn thing from my pocket and read the caller ID. “Hello, Cat,” I say, walking to my bar and pouring a whiskey because I’m apparently over the hangover and ready to do it again.
“What’s happening with Carrie?”
“Not a damn thing. Not until tomorrow when I can force her to listen to me. If she will. For all I know, I’m dead to her.”
“No,” she says. “I saw how she looked at you and I saw you looked at her. Reid, I’ve never seen you look at a woman like that. She’s—changing you or maybe healing you in some way I can’t know. We just aren’t that close.”
“Cat—”
“We’re going to work on it. I sense that now. I’m—willing, Reid. There has to be some way you can earn Carrie’s trust. Just tell her whatever it is you say you can’t tell her.”
“I’ll lose my stock in the company if I do, which means Gabe will be destroyed right along with me, and then Dad will destroy Carrie’s company, and we’re all fucked.”
“Oh my God. It’s that bad?”
“Yes. It is. I’m protecting her, too. Dad did some stuff that I’m connected to that I didn’t have any idea about. I’m guilty by association. That’s how I got pulled into it.”
“Gabe?”
“Doesn’t know. I don’t want him to be guilty of anything. He doesn’t know. He can’t know.”
“My God, Reid. What a burden you’re carrying.”
“I had it under control until Carrie. She’s a game changer. I called her father. I tried to get him to break the contract, but he wants me out of her life. He won’t do it. The irony is that the old me would burn that bastard to the ground, but he’s her father, Cat. She loves him. Her mother left her years ago.”
“You love her.”
“I—it’s too soon to say that word.”
“You know,” she says. “It’s crazy, but when it’s the person you’re meant to be with, you know fast. It matures, but you know early. Make her listen. I know you can. She wants to. She just needs to feel safe.”
“Safe,” I say, that word resonating. Her mother left. Her brother is gone. Her father lied to her. “Yes. I think she does.”
“Be her safe place, and that’s a big order right now, but she needs you. Let me know if you want me to talk to her.”
“Thanks, Cat.” I hesitate and then say, “I missed you.”
“Well, we’ll talk about why you ever had to at some point. Right now, you need to get your woman back.”
We disconnect, and I down my whiskey, processing Cat’s words, my mind starting to work. I walk to the living room, open my MacBook on the coffee table and find an email from Carrie that reads: Event Center sale info. I read through the numbers that are a slam dunk to entice Grayson. I dial Grayson.
“Reid. I hope this is good news.”
“We have an amazing opportunity in Japan and money to bring to the table with it. Carrie brought the deal to the table. I just supported it with money.”
“It’s not something I can do on my own?”
“No. It’s that big. We can’t guarantee you can get this deal over another bidder, but we can guarantee you’ll want to, and we’ll fight for it.”
“I’m intrigued. I’m throwing a party for the opening of my new hotel Wednesday evening at seven. Meet me at my business office in the hotel at five and plan on attending the party. My assistant will send you the details.”
“We’ll be there.”
I pull up my email, but I can’t do it. I have to call her. I dial her number. “Hello,” she says, answering on the first ring. “You got the numbers.”
“Yes. They look good. The best thing that’s happened to either of us professionally, ever. I did my part. I secured a hundred million today that I believe can be turned into three hundred million.”
“Oh my God. Grayson is going to be floored.”
“I teased him without details. I just hung up with him. We meet him Wednesday at five right before a party he wants us to attend. His assistant is emailing us the details.”
“That’s perfect. We have plenty of time to prepare.”
“Yes.” I hesitate. “Carrie.”
“Yes?”
I have so many things I want to say but I know I’ll get one more shot and I need to take it in person, where she can’t shut me down. “I’ll see you in the morning.” I start to hang up.
“Reid,” she says, her voice lifting urgently.
“Yes?”
She’s silent a moment. “I—I’ll see you in the morning.”
She doesn’t hang up. I don’t hang up. Finally, she says, “C
an you hang up now?”
“Because you can’t?” I ask.
“Just hang up, Reid.”
Fuck.
I hang up and it about kills me, but I know after that call that I still have a chance, but a chance isn’t enough. I have to go after her father, but not to destroy him. I’ll make him rich as fuck if that’s what it takes to get him to tell Carrie the truth that I can’t.
Chapter Fifty-Five
Carrie
I don’t remember going to sleep, but the alarm on my phone wakes me after what I think is about three hours. Not only did I work most of the night, I kept thinking about that last call with Reid. I know I’m not overreacting to what has happened, but I want to be overreacting. His voice made me want so very badly, on so many levels. Knots form in my stomach at the idea of seeing him today. I’m going to have to face up to who we are, not who I thought we were. And I will. Maybe that’s just what I need. To see him, to look into his eyes, and see the truth.
I shower and slip into a black dress with a neckline that goes all the way to my collarbone. I use the products I bought yesterday. I wear panties that I bought myself that he will never touch. I pack my backup briefcase because Reid has that, too.
I arrive at work with coffees in hand, one for me and one for Sallie. “Morning,” I say, eyeing Reid’s closed door, with Connie already at her desk.
He’s not here.
I am.
I walk into my office and claim my desk. My cellphone rings with Royce Walker’s number and I answer immediately. “Hi, Royce.”
“I’m late getting back to you, but Reid told me to get you whatever you want on your father.”
“He did?”
“Yes. He did. What do you want to know?”
“Everything, because I now believe I know nothing.”
“Then you’ll get everything. I’ll be in touch.”
“Wait. When did he tell you to do this for me? Before the weekend?”
“Yes. Before the weekend.”
“Okay, thanks.” He disconnects and I lean back in my chair.
Reid told him to do this for me and it wasn’t motivated by what happened this weekend. It matters. The timing matters. That he did it matters. It says he’s not trying to keep whatever is going on with my father a secret. He just doesn’t want to be the one to badmouth my father.