How long could she possibly hold out?
"I spoke to Will," he said. "Evidently there is one main commune around here that is commonly referred to as the Farm by its residents. Given its proximity to Vail, he's pretty sure it's the same one April's been living in."
When he didn't say anything else, didn't tell her if it was a "good" or "bad" commune, her heart rate sped up. Just like always, he was afraid she couldn't handle the truth and was keeping the full details from her.
No way. She was a big girl now. Whether or not she could handle the truth was beside the point. She had to not only handle it, she had to face it head-on. For April.
"There's more you're not telling me, isn't there?"
A muscle jumped in his jaw. "Will's heard rumors."
"What kind of rumors?"
"The Feds have been trying to shut it down for years, sure that they're hiding something. Evidently, the Farm looks clean from the outside, like nothing more than a group of green advocates wanting to live off the land."
"Maybe it is clean," she found herself saying out of desperation, even though she was suddenly sure that her fears for April's safety were completely justified. "Maybe they aren't doing anything worse than growing medical marijuana. Maybe they're all just looking for a simpler life?"
"Maybe. But word is the owner of the Farm hasn't been off the mountain in more than a decade. He's built his own little world up there. Doesn't need any part of civilization. Makes you wonder why. Especially since most communes aren't growing pot anymore." His expression was as serious as she'd ever seen it. "Methamphetamine is king, Dianna, and the drug makes people crazy, obliterates their brain cells. Don't forget what happened in Jonestown," he said, referencing shootings, poisonings, and mass suicides at the intentional community in Guyana led by California cult leader Jim Jones in the '80s.
Oh no, she thought, no longer able to wallow in denial, what have you gotten yourself into, April?
"There is a primitive dirt road that heads toward the commune, but it's totally impassable right now due to some trees that went down during late spring storms."
With every word he said, she could feel herself sinking deeper and deeper into despair. "But we've got to get there, Sam."
"My friend will drive us as far up the road as he can get."
His eyes moved from her face to her arms, then her legs. He was clearly trying to assess her in some way. But how?
"I've spent a lot of time in these mountains, both as a hotshot and for pleasure. Everything within a fifty-mile radius of Vail is rugged mountains," he informed her. "Fast-running rivers, steep rock faces, vertical hikes over boulders. It looks like the fastest way to the commune will be by river and then up through the mountains on foot."
For the first time, Dianna wished she was less well versed in designers, and more in bagging high peaks. The only research she'd done on mountaineering had been when the star of Man vs. Wild had been a guest on her show, but even then she'd known that her viewers had been more interested in his smoldering looks and sexy British accent than his outdoor skills.
She figured she could easily handle camping and rafting. Water and dirt weren't her problems.
Heights, however, were.
April. Think of April.
She didn't have time for the butterflies in her stomach. She hadn't gotten to where she was by allowing herself to be weak or to ever give in to her fears. She wouldn't start now, when it mattered most.
"I can handle it, Sam. I work out at the gym with a trainer and I've taken some self-defense classes for a segment we did a couple of months ago, even though I haven't spent much time outdoors. Not since--" She made herself finish her sentence. "Not since I moved to San Francisco."
He looked into her eyes for several uncomfortable moments. "I can find your sister alone, Dianna."
Wasn't he the one who'd told her that he admired her for never running from a challenge? Regardless of the possible danger, she wasn't going to back down. No matter how hard the going got.
"No way," she said as evenly as she could, given how fast her heart was racing and how irritated she continued to be with his heavy-handedness. "I'm not going to sit here and wait for you to bring her back."
"It's not going to be easy," he warned her again.
"Nothing ever is."
His mouth tightened. Clearly, he wasn't happy with her choice. Well, too bad.
Moving back toward the door, he said, "We've got to be prepared with tents. Whitewater equipment. Climbing ropes. I'm going to head out into town to pick up some gear before the stores close for the night. I want you to stay put while I'm gone."
She didn't have time to respond to his latest order before he was gone, knowing she had no other choice but to rely on his judgment and decisions for the time being. But as soon as she got her bearings back, she was going to let him know that she was subservient to no man.
Her head was still throbbing, so she downed a couple of Tylenol before packing up the clothes and toiletries she wouldn't need in the Rockies to send home with Ellen. It didn't take a wilderness pro to see that pretty much everything in her suitcase except her underwear would be useless on their trek to the commune.
Throwing her lingerie into a pile on top of the bed, she called her friend to quickly explain the situation. Ellen rushed into her room from the cafeteria a few minutes later.
"Are you crazy? You can't go into the wilderness to find April!"
But Dianna's mind was made up. "I'll be safe with Sam," she told her friend, even though, in truth, the exact opposite was true.
Although she knew with absolute certainty that he would keep her safe from the elements, she also knew that it would be nearly impossible to keep clear of the dangerous temptation he presented. Especially when his touch made her skin tingle and her brain forget why locking lips with him had been--and still would be--such a terrible idea.
"I promise to check in with you as soon as I can." To forestall any further discussion, she said, "Thanks for taking my bag back home with you."
"I really don't like the sound of this," Ellen said again.
Dianna silently agreed as she gave her friend one last hug good-bye. The entire situation was a powder keg ready to blow up at any second.
------
Sam came back to the hospital with two large backpacks full of gear. He'd had to push past the same wall of reporters on his way in and he was more irritated by them than he had any right to be. They were simply doing their job, even if he hated the way they were all trying to get a piece of Dianna.
She'd been all his once. Now she was a public commodity. And he was as much a stranger to her as any one of the reporters outside.
To make matters worse, he couldn't get away from the look on her face when he'd asked her why she'd left.
"You honestly don't know?"
Damn it, no, he didn't. But now that she was tied up in knots over April's disappearance, there was no way he could push her on it.
He never should have asked her for an explanation in the first place. Not when it only gave away exactly how much he'd once cared about her. Not when neither of them needed another reminder of how hot their passion had been and that they'd had a bond that went beyond the physical.
She was moving restlessly around the room when he walked back in. He got a full twenty seconds to appreciate her curves before she noticed him.
"Oh, you're back!" she exclaimed, her hand moving over her heart. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked kissable. Utterly irresistible.
Wanting to keep something in front of the raging hard-on he was sporting, he dumped the contents of the backpacks on the bed.
"Climbing gear, sleeping bags, life jackets, lightweight shirts, pants, socks, waterproof boots."
"I didn't realize we'd need so much stuff."
Still trying to push lust away, he went into teach-a-rookie-the-ropes mode.
"As far as I'm concerned, hightailing it through the Rockies is going to be no different than g
oing in to fight a wildfire. I make sure my guys respect the power of the flames before they head out to beat the crap out of them. I want to make sure you have a healthy respect for nature's power, too."
Her eyes grew big as she took in the amount of equipment. He hadn't meant to overwhelm her, hadn't meant to make it all sound so frightening. But before he could take a step back and gently explain what everything was, he saw the pile of sexy lingerie sitting in the middle of the bed.
A cold sweat broke out across his forehead. Even at eighteen, when Dianna hadn't been the least bit into fashion, he'd been amazed by how sexy her undergarments were. All that lace and silk had driven him crazy.
Just thinking of Dianna wearing the red panties made his blood run hot enough to start a fire. Way too close to the edge already, Sam simply couldn't stop from wondering what she was wearing right that very second beneath her sweater and jeans.
How the hell could he keep it all business, all the time when all he wanted to do was pull Dianna into his arms and taste her sweetness? He shoved a life vest back into the backpack so hard that the shiny fabric nearly popped beneath the force of his fingers.
"Will's going to meet us in back of the hospital at five thirty a.m. tomorrow." His voice was husky with repressed need so he cleared his throat before continuing. "Do you feel well enough to check out right now?"
"I'm fine."
"Good," he said, even though he wasn't sure he believed her.
If he saw anything that made him question her health--dizziness, slurred speech, grimacing--he'd go after April on his own.
He hoisted both packs onto his shoulders. "I saw a motel next door--figured we'd try there first."
As if he'd be able to sleep with her only a wall away. Maybe they could get rooms on opposite sides of the building. Maybe then he wouldn't feel like a chunk of metal being drawn against his will to her sexy-as-hell magnet.
"I scoped out a back exit so we can avoid reporters. I'm assuming you don't want them to know about April, right?"
She shook her head and sighed. "I can't believe I forgot about the press. Do you really think we can get out of here without them noticing?"
"Here," he said, slipping one of the backpacks on her shoulders.
She stumbled beneath the weight for a split second before finding her balance. He pulled out one of the hats he'd bought and shoved it on her head.
"They won't think to take a second look at a hiker."
He didn't want her to know the truth, that anyone who looked closely would be able to see her poise and grace beneath the backpack and goofy-looking hat.
She gave him a weak smile. "If it works, I'll have to try this disguise again."
Jesus, he actually felt like his heart skipped a beat as he looked at her smiling at him.
A few minutes later, after they'd seamlessly made their getaway and were heading into the motel's lobby, she said, "I'd better wait outside until you have the key."
He nodded, knowing if anyone at the motel got wind of their high-profile guest, it wouldn't be long before they put in a call to the reporters.
A TV was on as he headed to the front desk, a clip of Dianna interviewing a pop star playing. Momentarily mesmerized, Sam stopped and watched it.
He couldn't help but be impressed by how good she was at her job. She made talking to a twenty-year-old with whom she had nothing in common look effortless. He'd hung out with enough kids that age to know how difficult it could be to find any common ground whatsoever.
Pulling out a credit card, he got them each a room, knowing it wasn't exactly what they'd prefer, but deciding to take what they could get at this point.
He didn't beat around the bush when he emerged from the lobby. "They only had one room left."
Her eyes widened in alarm. "You've got to be kidding me."
"I want you to stay here, just in case there are more reporters roaming around town. Don't worry, I'll find another place to sleep."
"No, that doesn't make sense." She took a deep breath. "I can handle sharing a room if you can."
Well, shit, he couldn't exactly admit that he couldn't control himself around her, could he?
"No problem," he lied, even though he couldn't think of a much bigger problem at present.
He hadn't come here looking for trouble. But he seemed to have found it at every turn.
The motel room was extremely basic with only a bed, a dresser, a TV, and a small sofa. It struck him that Dianna looked like a mouse caught in a small cage, looking for anywhere to escape.
Clearly, he wasn't the only one having a hard time with their little reunion. He got more satisfaction from that than he should have.
His stomach growled and when hers quickly followed suit he said, "I'm going to call for a pizza."
"No thanks. I'm not hungry."
He frowned. She'd always been up for a meal, any time of day or night. It had been one of the things he liked about her, that she was a pretty girl who ate like a normal person, rather than starving herself to fit into a pair of jeans. Had that changed, too?
"Guess you've got to stick to salad to fit into all those fancy clothes, huh?"
Her mouth tightened. "I'm not on a diet. I'm just not in a very hungry mood right now."
Shit, he was acting like an insensitive jerk again. It was just that being with her again pushed all of his buttons. Buttons he hadn't even realized were there until today.
In lieu of an apology he said, "I know you may not feel like eating right now, not after what you've just found out, but you're not going to do April any good if you're starving."
Shrugging as if she didn't care either way, she said, "You're right. Order pizza."
He said, "Everything on it," at the same time she did and their eyes locked together in an electric moment of remembered awareness.
All the signs of arousal were there--the way her skin flushed, the rapid pulse in her neck, the speeding up of her inhalations. He could have her horizontal and naked on the bed in sixty seconds.
It took every bit of self-control he possessed to force himself to turn away, pick up the phone, and order the pizza.
After hanging up, he paused to wipe all the desire off his face. When he turned around to face her, she was standing in the same place, her eyes still on him.
"Thank you for helping me," she said in a soft voice. "I know things are kind of weird and--"
He held up a hand. She was about to take them straight into the danger zone. He couldn't let her do it.
There was only one way to diffuse the bomb of their relentless attraction: clear ground rules.
"Let's concentrate on finding your sister and bringing her home safely. And because we're going to need to work together and trust each other, I've decided that the best thing we can do is keep the past in the past."
CHAPTER NINE
DIANNA REELED in disbelief. Had he really just issued her an order? Here's how we're gonna do it, babe. No questions. No answers. Just suck it up and get with the program.
But after she'd had a few seconds to digest it, she realized it was less what he said than how he said it that really got to her.
She hated his cold, emotionless voice.
"On the contrary," she finally replied in a steely voice that not only matched, but raised the frigidity another level. "I don't think there's any point in having a big white elephant in the room with us the whole time."
In her experience managing a sometimes-conflicted staff for a live TV show that couldn't afford any screw-ups, she never allowed grudges to linger between team members. Between her and Sam, however, she might have been tempted to take the high road and let sleeping dogs lie.
That is, if he hadn't acted like such a bull in her china shop.
Crossing her arms over her chest, she said, "Because we're stuck together in this motel room for tonight, I think we should lay everything out on the table and be done with it already."
Maybe, she suddenly thought, if she got her grievances off her chest, s
he'd be able to get him out of her system once and for all.
Before she could think better of what she was doing, she continued with, "In the hospital you asked me why I left. Well, I'm ready to tell you my reasons, Sam. Because frankly, I'm sick and tired of carrying them around with me all the time."
"Forget I asked," he said. "It doesn't matter. We should be focusing on April right now."
No way, she wasn't letting him backpedal to try to shut her down.
"Of course I'm upset about April," she said as calmly as she could. "Of course I'm freaking out about what could be happening to her, but if we don't find some common ground, we're going to have a very hard time working as a team."
But he was still shaking his head, his expression completely closed. "I don't want to fight with you, Dianna."
"Don't you see, Sam?" she asked, exasperation breaking through again. "That's part of the problem. You never wanted to fight. You never wanted to have any kind of conflict between us. I know your parents had a shitty relationship, I know they never stopped fighting, but that doesn't mean people can't disagree with each other sometimes."
"Stop right now, Dianna," he said, each word a warning, "and we can still do this. We can still go forward and find April."
But the train she was on was moving too fast for her to just hop off. Even though she was heading straight for a brick wall.
"You haven't changed a bit, have you?" she said, any pretense of calm now blown to smithereens. "You always thought you knew what was best for both of us."
"I wouldn't make accusations you can't back up," he said in a hard voice.
She took a step closer, too swept up in her fury to remember to keep her distance from all of his mouth-wateringly hard heat.
"Oh, you want backup? Let's see, how about the first time we had sex and you didn't bother to tell me that the condom broke? Or what about when you'd come back from a fire where people had lost their homes, or even their lives, and I'd ask, 'How are you?' all you'd ever say was, 'I'm okay.' And when I pushed you on it, when I said there was no way anyone could be okay with the things you'd seen, you wouldn't tell me a damn thing about how you were feeling. All I wanted was to be a part of your life, Sam. For you to let me in. But you refused to give me anything, to open up at all."