"Thanks," he said, stepping in behind me.
"No problem. I need a shower. You leaving now?" I asked, taking my bag from his hands and heading for the bathroom.
"Yeah, I think so. "
"See you in the morning," I told him. I stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I waited until I heard the hotel room door close and he had sufficient time to get away before I let the tears come. Id been holding them back for hours. Crying didnt make the pain easier, but for that one moment I could lose myself in my sorrow. I didnt have to hide it. I could let it out freely.
Deep down, I knew what I had done was right. Id let Woods go. My fear that I would hurt him no longer haunted me. He was okay. He was living his life and he would find that someone who could be his perfect fit. What wed had was never going to be perfect. Love should be simple. I wasnt simple.
Woods deserved someone like Blaire Finlay. He needed a woman by his side who could pull out a gun and take care of herself. A wife who could give him babies that he could love and know they would be mentally healthy. The fear that their mother could snap would never be there.
I would never be a Blaire. I wanted to be more than I wanted my next breath, but it would never happen. I wasnt Woodss simple perfection. He would find it one day with someone else. Maybe one day I would find a way to be happy again. Maybe living life would help me find my place.
I refused to believe I would end up damaged like my mother. I might not have been wife-and-mother material, but I was a person. I could be something. I could make a difference in this world. I just had to find out what that something was. Thinking about Woods and his disinterest in finding me wasnt doing me any good. Crying wasnt healing me.
It was time I healed myself. I didnt need a man to hold my hand and cuddle me. I needed to do this on my own. Woods had wanted to help me and Id wanted someone to cling to.
Tripp and I had pooled our money together and it had been enough for a while, but it wouldnt last forever. It was time Tripp went back to his place in South Carolina and I found a life. One that I lived alone. One in which I depended on myself.
I stood up and turned on the shower and undressed. I would wash away my tears and I wouldnt allow myself to do this again. There was a bravery inside of me that I was going to find and nurture.
Page 19
Woods
I sat outside on my balcony with a beer in one hand and my phone in the other. Tripp called at nine every night. It was the only way I kept myself sane. Listening to him tell me about what she was doing, what she was saying, and even what she was wearing was the only way I held on to my last shreds of sanity.
The moment Tripps name lit up the screen I answered.
"Hey, how is she?" I didnt care about small talk. I had decided not to find Tripp and break all the limbs from his body when hed called me the first time and promised to keep me updated on Della. He said she needed time to deal with things and I needed to give her that. I was trying like hell but I wanted to go to her. Every time he told me which city they were in, I fought the need to jump on a plane.
"She was quiet today. Didnt talk much and couldnt wait to get rid of me. Shes depressed but this is just another stage for her. "
"Where are you now?"
"Memphis. "
"Are you checked into a hotel?"
"Yeah. Shes in the room. Im out, giving her some space tonight. "
Giving her space? Alone, in a strange city? "What the fuck are you thinking? You cant leave her alone! If shes been quiet she may be closing in on herself. You cant leave her alone. Shell need someone to bring her back. She cant---"
"Woods! Calm down, man. Calm down. " Tripps voice was commanding.
"She cant be alone," I said again as emotion lodged in my throat. I hated to think of her alone.
"She needs to be alone. She needs to cry. She needs to decide if giving you this freedom she thinks you need is going to be possible. Her leaving is all about you, Woods. She didnt want to leave you. Ive told you that already. She loves you so much that she left to give you the life she thinks you want. One where you dont have to deal with her shit. So, now that shes done that, she has to live with it. Give her time. Shell come back. "
I had set my beer down and stood up. Gripping the railing, I closed my eyes and fought back the pain. I just wanted her. Just Della. Any way I could have her, I wanted her. I wasnt ever going to be all right. I didnt want her to be alone. I wanted someone to hold her.
"Hold her for me. Hold her tight. Dont let her be lonely. Dont let her hurt. Please. "
"I will do what she allows me to do. But my arms arent the ones she wants. "
"Fuck," I growled as sharp pains wrapped around my throat.
"Just give her more time," Tripp said.
I took several long, steadying breaths. He had to get back to her. He couldnt leave her alone like this. "When we hang up, go back to her. "
Tripp sighed. "Fine. But I had plans tonight. Theres a hot little bartender giving me the eye. "
"Do you need more money?" I asked him. I had been depositing money into his account since he had called the first night. I wanted her in nice hotels and I wanted her to eat well.
"Shes going to notice soon that we arent running out of money. I keep waiting for her to bring up the fact that we stay in the nicest part of each town and eat in high-end restaurants instead of fast-food chains. Shes not an idiot. "
"Im holding on by a damn thread. Your phone calls and the fact I know shes in nice hotels and eating good food is the only fucking thing keeping me sane. "
"Im going to see if I can convince her to go back to my place in South Carolina with me. I have a nice place there. Its safe and I have a job I can go back to. I can get her a job, too. "
I just wanted her to come home. "Whatever you need to do. But she stays safe. "
"Im keeping her safe. I promise. "
"You took her from me," I reminded him. I couldnt thank him.
"She asked me to. Im her friend, too. "
"She needs me. "
"No, dude. Right now, she needs to find the strength inside herself. The strength she doesnt think is there. Once she realizes that she isnt a burden, shell be back. "
"She has to," I said, then ended the call before Tripp heard the pain in my voice.
Page 20
Della
The pizza hadnt even arrived yet when Tripp walked back in the door. I had been sure he was going to screw a stranger. "Youre back?"
He shrugged. "I decided Id rather have pizza instead of a beer. "
Something was up. He wouldnt rather have had pizza than get laid. Tripp was a bit of a man-whore. I had figured this out pretty fast. Women liked him and he liked them right back---for about two or three hours, then he was gone.
"Why are you really back? You never choose pizza over . . . beer. "
A crooked grin tugged at his lips and he shifted his gaze over to me. "By the way you just said beer, Im going to assume you know what Im normally up to when I step out for a drink. "
I rolled my eyes. "Uh, yeah. "
Tripp sank down on the edge of the other bed. "Well, tonight I was thinking about something and I thought we might need to talk more than I needed a beer. "
I wasnt sure how to respond to that so I just waited.
The knock on the door stopped him from going any farther.
"Pizza," he said, standing up and going to pay for the pizza. I had also ordered a two-liter soda. It wasnt beer but it came with the special.
I watched as he set the pizza down on my bed and grabbed the two plastic glasses by the ice bucket and fixed us a drink. I had been thinking we needed to talk, too, I just wasnt sure when we would get the chance. Before we got any farther away from South Carolina, I planned on telling him we should go there.
"Meat lovers. Its like you knew I was coming back," he said.
"No. The special tonight was a large meat
lovers and a two-liter soda for fifteen dollars. I went with the special. "
"Lucky me," he replied.
"Talk, Tripp. I want to know whats more important than beer. "
Tripp let out a small chuckle and took a drink of his soda. Then he settled his green eyes on me. "Impatient, arent you. "
I didnt reply. I just raised my eyebrows to let him know I was still waiting.
"We need to go back to South Carolina. I need to get back to my job and I can get you hooked up with a job, too. I have a place there and it will be good for you to stay in one place longer than a day and think about stuff. "
Not what I had been expecting him to say.
"Okay," I replied.
He stopped chewing. "Okay? Just like that?"
I nodded. "Yeah, just like that. "
He finished chewing his bite of pizza and swallowed. "Why do you always surprise me? All the damn time? Youd think I would be used to it by now. "
I took another bite of my pizza and shrugged. I hadnt realized I was going to be so easygoing about it either. I wasnt going to stay there permanently, of course, but I could work there awhile and save up some money. Then I would hit the road again.
"There is one thing I want to do first," I told him.
"What?"
"Go through Georgia and see my best friend, Braden, and her husband, Kent. I havent seen them in a while and Id like to stay at their house for a couple of days. "
Tripp nodded. "Sounds good. I can get a place at a hotel in town and you can stay with them. "
"They would be happy for you to stay with them, too," I assured him.
Tripp smirked. "Yeah, well, that sounds nice but honestly, I could really use a couple of nights to have some . . . beer. "
The small bubble of laughter was fast and unexpected. Tripps smirk turned into a pleased grin, and I laughed for the first time since Id left Rosemary.
Later that night, I had just started to fall asleep when I heard Tripp get up and walk to the bathroom. I thought he was going to take a shower but I heard him talking to someone. Who would he be calling after midnight? Then I heard my name.
I eased out of bed quietly and tiptoed close enough so I could hear what he was saying.
"She wants to stop by her friends house in Georgia first. . . . Yeah. . . . I said yes. Damn. . . . Near Myrtle Beach. Its safe. I swear. . . . Probably need some more, yeah. . . . Ill call you. . . . I said I would call you. Go to sleep. "
I hurried back over to the bed and crawled back in. Who had he been talking too? Was there a girl back where he lived? Had he left someone behind to come help me? No. That couldnt be it. He slept with too many women. Maybe it was just a friend.
"Della?" Tripps voice surprised me and I almost responded. Then I realized he was checking to make sure I was asleep. I didnt say anything.
It must have been a friend of his wondering when hed be home. But the "safe" comment---that was weird. I closed my eyes and decided to let the exhaustion take me. I would think about this tomorrow.
Page 21
Woods
I stared down at the list of appointments that Vince had put on my desk that morning. I had been putting off so much shit because I couldnt focus in the last two weeks, and now I was behind. Tomorrow my lawyer would be sending out the letters to the former board members letting them know that they were no longer needed. I expected the shit to hit the fan but I was letting my lawyer deal with the blows. I wasnt in the mood for it.
"Mr. Finlay here to see you, sir," Vinces voice said over the intercom.
"Send him in," I replied. I had called Rushs father, Dean Finlay, before Della had left. I figured if I put someone on the board who was a celebrity, then it would help with the members and the town when they heard of the new board. Besides, Dean had put a lot of money into the Kerrington Club and my father had never approved of him. Hed acknowledged him because he wasnt a complete fool but he hadnt liked him.
"I gotta say, Woods, you look pretty goddamn good sitting in that seat," Dean drawled as he sauntered into the room. He reeked of rock star, from his long hair to his tattoo-covered body and many piercings. He even had on eyeliner. The man was a legend and I had grown up with him as the father of one of my friends.
"Thanks, Dean," I said, standing up and reaching across the desk to shake his hand.
"You got me for about thirty minutes. Then Im gonna have to get back to that grandson of mine. I had to leave him all giggly and playful and thats pretty fucking hard to do. The kids adorable. "
"Yes, sir. I will make this quick," I assured him, and motioned for him to sit down.
Dean sat down in the leather wingback chair and propped his feet up on the edge of my desk. "Whats up?"
"Im letting my fathers board members go. They were close confidants of my father; however, I dont feel the same way about them. I have no need for a board that I cant share my ideas with and whose opinions I cant trust. Im replacing the board with people I want to have input into the future of the Kerrington Club. "
Dean held up a hand to stop me, then he cocked one dark eyebrow. "Are you saying you fired all their uppity asses?"
I nodded.
Dean threw his head back and cackled with laughter. "Damn, thats the funniest shit Ive heard in a while. "
If I could have managed a smile these days I would have smiled then. "I want you on my board, sir. Rush will also be asked, of course. "
Dean dropped his feet to the floor and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and studied me a moment. "You want me on your board?"
"Yes, I do. My group of friends are all young. We need wisdom on the board and youre the only man I know that I would want advising me. "
A slow smile spread across Deans face. "Ill be damned. "
Probably, but I wasnt going to agree with him. I just waited.
"Hell yeah, Ill be on your board. My grandson is going to grow up in this town and the Kerrington Club and the members here will be a big part of his life. I want to make sure he has the best. "
I had hoped he would feel that way. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. Im honored that you will be a part of the future of the club. "
"Me too," he said, leaning back in his chair. "But, Woods, if were gonna do this, then should you stop calling me sir. Makes me sound old. I bang chicks younger than you, son. "
I might not have been able to smile but I was amused. "Im sure you do," I replied.
"That was pretty damn funny. Whats wrong with you, boy? I cant seem to get you to crack a smile. "
I didnt want to talk about Della with Dean. He wouldnt understand. Like he said, he was with a different girl every night. "Personal stuff. Im working through it. "
Dean rubbed his chin, then tilted his head as he looked at me too closely. "Its a woman. That look is always caused by a fucking woman. Dont bother denying it. I can see it all over your face. "
I didnt admit it but I didnt deny it. Instead, I dropped my eyes to the table and shifted through some paperwork. I had a contract Dean needed to sign and we needed to discuss his monthly salary, not that he needed it.
"Who is she? What did she do? She getting under your skin and youre ready to run, or has she already got you on her hook and shes trying to let you go?"
I pulled out the contract and took my pen and pushed them across the table. "Neither. I need you to sign the contract saying everything we discuss about the club is confidential. Your salary is listed as well. "
Dean didnt lean forward and take the paper. He was still focused on me. He started to shake his head and let out a low whistle. "Woods motherfucking Kerrington is in love. Damn, its in the water down here. I need to get my ass back to LA. You young boys going manic over one pretty little girl. Theres lots of fish. Lots of fucking beautiful fish. Why worry about one when you can have em all? Brunette on Monday and a redhead on Tuesday, twins on Wednesday, a blonde with big ole titties on Thursday, an Asian beauty on Friday, and her siste
r on Saturday, then on Sunday is when you get you one of each and have one big-ass party all damn day. No need to get wrapped up in just one. "
This was very similar to a speech hed given us one summer when Rush had taken us on a road trip to see Slacker Demon in Atlanta. We had, of course, been granted backstage access and hung out with the band. It was Deans life. I had thought it was a lonely life back then. Now that Id had Della, I knew it was a lonely life. I wasnt interested.
"Just want the one," I told him.
"She must be special," he said, and leaned forward to pick up the pen. "Im not signing my life away or adding you to my will, am I?" he asked.
"No, just agreeing to keep the clubs business confidential. "
"I dont need the money. Put it in a trust fund for Nate. Have Rush set it up. "
Id expected as much. "Yes, sir"---his head snapped up---"I mean, Dean," I said, correcting myself.
He nodded. "Better. " Then he stood up and slapped his hand down on the desk. "Looks good on you, boy. Looks real good on you," he said, then turned and walked out of the office.
I had Dean. Now I needed to make my next call.
Page 22
Della
Braden threw open the door and wrapped her arms around me in one swift movement. I dropped the bag I was carrying and hugged her back just as fiercely.
"Youre here! I missed you," Braden said as she squeezed me one more time, then pulled back and glanced over at Tripp. I didnt miss the appreciative gleam in Tripps eyes as he took in my best friend. Braden had big, round, cornflower-blue eyes and long, dark curly lashes. Her brown curls were completely natural. I had been coveting them for years.
"Braden, this is my friend Tripp. Tripp, this is my best friend, Braden Fredrick. "
"And Im her husband, Kent," Kent said as he walked up behind Braden. I smiled over at him. I felt like I should apologize for Tripp and I was suddenly glad he was going to stay in a hotel. Braden loved her husband but when Tripp wanted to be a charmer he had it down to a science.
"Its nice to meet both of you," Tripp said with a knowing smile. I should probably have pinched him.
"Yall come on in," Braden said, stepping back.
"I have plans this evening so I need to head on out. Ill be back when youre ready to leave, Della," he said, and winked at me. He was being cute on purpose.