Ma’s hand would always quit moving at this part of the story.
“Brung me right up to a little city in Mitch-again called Flint. Massa had a brother what owned a wood mill there and some the time we all go with him down to De-troit. I ’member Mrs. Wright taking us to the river and pointing ’cross and telling Missy, ‘That there Canada. That a whole ’nother country fulled up with foreigners.’”
Ma told Mrs. Holton, “I caint tell you how let down I was feeling when I looked over that water at Canada. It didn’t look not one part different. Mama and all ’em other folks always saying how Canada’s the land of milk and honey, but I caint see one thing different, and it ain’t but a half mile off.”
Mrs. Holton said, “Ooh, girl, they told us the same thing, the land of milk and honey!”
Ma went on, “Anyway, felt to me like we stayed up in Flint for two whole years, but it was only three months ’fore we start back on home. Took forever! ’Bout a hour outside Flint, Missy start in axing if we was home yet and didn’t quit axing for days!
“When we in the wagon and ’bout two mile out from the plantation I starts recognizing where we at and I starts getting antsy as Missy. Mrs. Wright tell me, ‘Sarah, quit acting the fool and set still.’
“I says, ‘I’s sorry, ma’am, I’s just ’bout to bust from not seeing my mama!’
“Mrs. Wright tell me, ‘Well, you’ll see her first thing tomorrow. They’s still plenty light and you can work in the barn, and tonight I wants you to stay with Missy. This traveling has her feeling out of sorts.’
“I knows it’s back talk but I says, ‘Please, ma’am, caint I see my mama for just a minute?’
“You’d-a thought I axed her for the moon. She near backhand me out that wagon and say, ‘You say one more word and I’ll keep you hopping for a week.’
Massa tell her, ‘Gwen, let the child go in the field and see her ma. I’m-a give her fifteen minutes.’
“Mrs. Wright say, ‘James, you’s too soft on your pickaninnies. They’s gonna be the death of you one day. Mark my word.’”
Mrs. Holton said, “Uh, uh, uh.” Ma said, “I’s so happy! After I got Missy to bed I told Mrs. Wright and she look at a clock and say, ‘You got fifteen minutes. I’ll cane you within a inch of your life if you’s one second late.’
“Emeline, I ain’t never run so hard in all my life, afore nor since. I seen Mama bent over in the field ’bout a half mile off and I feel like I’s flying to get to her.”
It was here that Ma’s hand would commence rubbing her left cheek again.
Mrs. Holton touched Ma’s shoulder.
Ma laughed and said, “Lord, if I’d-a knowed what was ’bout to happen I might not’ve been so anxious to see her.
“Mama hear me hollering and drop her load and run just as hard out at me. I feels like I’s swimming I’s looking through so many tears.”
Ma’s arms wrapped ’round herself.
“Ooh, did she mash me to her!
“She say, ‘Chile, chile, chile! I pray every night you was gone that you come back and here you is! Look how much you growned!’
“She kiss me so much I waren’t sure if my face was wet from tears or kisses. Then she ax what up north look like. I say, ‘Like here ’cept there’s more trees, and ain’t no tabacky.’ Then I throw in I seen Canada. Girl, soon’s I say it I knowed by how her body lock up that I done something wrong.
“First thing I’m thinking is that Mrs. Wright done snucked up behind me and hear me say Canada. We get beat if we even say it out loud. But that waren’t it.
“Next thing I know, my mama’s arm uncoil like a rattling-snake and she smote me down. Hard. She hadn’t never touch me afore with nothing but love, but Lord knows ’twaren’t no love in that blow.”
Mrs. Holton rubbed Ma’s back harder.
Ma said, “I quick jumps up too scared and dumbstruck to even cry. All I done was say, ‘Mama … why?’
“She look at me with eyes I ain’t never seen on her afore. She say, ‘What kinda fool I done raised? You was close enough to see Canada and you standing here afore me now?’
“I says to her, ‘But, Mama, if I’d left I might not never see you no more!’ She smote me the second time. Then she say, ‘You done got took to the gates of Heaven and turned you’self back ’cause you might not never see me again? What make you think I wants to see you down here knowing them …’”
Ma looked in the back of the buckboard and spelt out, “‘them d-a-m things Massa got in store for you? Ain’t you got no inkling what he waiting on you to get old enough for? How daft is you that seeing me be worth more than being rid of that?’”
Ma said, “All I could say was, ‘But, Mama, I waren’t thinking ’bout it like that. All I could think ’bout was seeing …’
“Mama snatch me by my collar and hold me so close to her face that I sees fire spitting out her eyes and I smells the food she et for breakfast that morning and I feels spittle from her mouth. She say, ‘Girl. If them people ever … ever take you north again and you don’t try reaching Canada, I’m-a make you a promise right here. I swears on all I love that I’ll wring your neck myself and won’t give it no more thought than if I was wringing the neck of one n’em chickens. ’Cause if they takes you to De-troit ever again and you don’t head out for Canada, you ain’t got no more right to live than one n’em chickens. You ain’t got no more sense than one n’em yard birds what’s happy to hang ’round till it they turn to get slaughtered. If you gets another chance and don’t take it … or die trying … I swear, girl, I’ll kill you myself once you get back here.’”
Ma quit moving her hand ’long her jaw and held up three fingers.
“That made three times she smack me ’cross the mouth.”
Ma smiled, “I had sense ’nough to stay down after that. Folks come and pull Mama off me. I remember her screaming and crying and cursing me whilst they drag her back to work. I knowed she waren’t lying. ’Twas two years afore they brung me to De-troit again, and I knowed when we was leaving in the wagon and I kissed my mama that I waren’t never gonna see her again.”
Mrs. Holton kept rubbing Ma’s back and said, “Sarah, I’m-a tell you some words a wise woman told me, ‘Something inside so strong gunn keep you flying.’”
Ma hugged Mrs. Holton and said, “Oo-wee! I hope you cherish that woman ’cause she sure do sound wise!”
They laughed and Mrs. Holton said, “Girl, I do. If only you knowed how much I do. I loves her like a sister.”
They stayed hugged up like that till Pa brung the wagon to a stop.
Everyone was starved out from sitting in church all day so we et afore we played abolitionists and slavers. Folks were still bringing Mrs. Holton food to help in her mourning and she brung lots of it along. Ma had fried some chicken and baked a couple of pies too.
We spread blankets and sat in the sand to eat.
Being close to the water and hearing the lake slapping ’gainst the sand was ’bout the peacefullest thing you could think of. If I hadn’t drawed the long straw and got to be a abolitionist I’d-a et and just sat there and dozed, but waren’t no way I was gonna give up killing some slavers, even if they were just Penelope and Sidney pretending to be white.
Ma and Mrs. Holton gave us all big servings of good things then Ma carved up some pieces of her peach pie and dropped one on everybody’s plate.
’Bout halfway through the meal I saw Pa piling a little hill of sand out of a hole next to where he was sitting on the blanket. I didn’t think nothing of it till about five minutes later when he pointed at some gigantic poplar trees and said, “Is that one n’em bald-head eagles?”
Most times those eagles don’t come inland far as Buxton so we all looked over at the poplars.
No one saw nothing so Pa said, “I think y’all scared him when you jumped up like that.”
I looked at Pa and saw that the hole he’d been digging was gone. He’d pushed all the sand back in it. Then I saw that the piece of Ma’s pe
ach pie was gone too.
Pa could tell I put one and one together and knowed where the pie was at. He leaned in to me and whispered, “Afore we leave, you come back over here, dig it up, then bury it real deep somewhere. It ain’t right to leave it halfway buried so’s some poor desperate starving wild animal might dig it up and try to di-gest it and suffer a horrible slow death.”
I couldn’t help laughing. But then Cooter and n’em ran off behind a bluff and he hollered back, “Help! Is there any abolitionist ’round? I’m ’bout to get dragged back to slavery by these here slavers! Help!”
I asked to be excused so’s I could run after Cooter and kill me some slavers!
A few days later, after supper, one of Mrs. Mae’s twins came banging on the door. I answered.
“Evening, Eli.”
“Evening, Eb.”
“Mr. Leroy told me to come here and tell you not to go di-rect to Mrs. Holton’s land tonight.”
This was peculiar. I was supposed to help him again.
“Did he say how come?”
Eb said, “Uh-uh, you know Mr. Leroy, he never has much of anything to say. All he said was to tell you to come by the sawmill first.”
“Thank you, Eb. Tell your ma and pa I asked ’bout ’em.”
When I got to the sawmill, Mr. Leroy and Mr. Polite were sitting next to a fresh-cut hunk of wood ’bout four foot long and one foot wide.
Mr. Polite said, “Here he be. Evening, Eli.”
“Evening, Mr. Polite. Evening, Mr. Leroy.”
Mr. Leroy said, “Evening, Elijah. I wants you to look over this here writing ’fore I starts carving it. Mrs. Holton want it to go over her door, and I ain’t carving nothing for no one ’less somebody what reads tells me it make sense.
“Folks ax you to carve something, then when you do it like they want and someone reads it to ’em and it ain’t nothing but jibber-jabber, they say they ain’t gunn pay and I done waste all that time. So see if this here’s sensical.”
I could tell Mr. Leroy was mighty worked up ’bout this. That was a whole month’s worth of talking for him. He handed me a piece of paper that had rough writing and lots of cross-outs on it. I read, “‘These words is done so no one won’t never forget the loving memory of my husband John Holton what got whip to death and killed on May the seven 1859 just ’cause he want to see what his family look like if they free. He be resting calm knowing his family done got through. The body won’t never endure but something inside all of us be so strong it always be flying.’”
I said to Mr. Leroy, “Sir, some of these things do need to get changed. How long you gonna let me ponder on this afore I gotta tell you?”
Mr. Polite said, “Ponder? Seem to me if you was really some good at reading and writing you wouldn’t need no time to ponder nothing. Just change it up ’cause it ain’t ringing right to my ear.”
He turned to Mr. Leroy, “I told you, Leroy, we should’ve got that little Collins gal. That’s one bright child there. This boy ain’t too far from being daft.”
Mr. Leroy said, “Hold on, Henry, the boy say he need some time, I’m-a let him take his time. Mrs. Holton already suffered a lot. She don’t need to be suffering no more ’cause of some jibber-jabber what’s carved over her door.”
I showed Ma and Pa the paper Mrs. Holton had writ and they told me it was a great honour to do this, that I had to do the best job I could.
Pa said, “You gunn have to help her take some the bite out them words, Elijah. Her pain too fresh to be locking it up so hot in writing.”
Ma told me, “Poor Mr. Leroy gunn be carving for years to get all that down. But look, baby, some of them words is mine!”
I thought on it for the rest of the week. I filled pages and pages in my notebook, working on just the right words for Mrs. Holton. I thought ’bout it when I was supposed to be studying and when I was supposed to be doing chores. It even creeped up on me and made my rock fishing go real unpleasant for both me and the fish. I only chunked four outta twenty. Worst, I sent two of ’em wobbling back into the water with their brains scrambled like eggs.
After ’bout a week Mr. Leroy’s patience ran out and he said, “I’m starting to agree with Henry Polite. Don’t seem like changing some words ’round gunn take all this time. Mrs. Holton been wondering where her sign’s at. After your supper, come to the field and have them words ready so’s I can get started. And write ’em down clear too.”
It killed my appetite but I finally got something writ down just after supper. Afore I gave it to Mr. Leroy, I ran over to Mr. Travis’s home so he could see if there were any big mistakes. Mr. Travis changed two words, crossed out three, put in some better punctuating, then said, “Admirable job, Mr. Freeman, admirable job.”
Ma and Pa said it seemed pretty good to them, and when I told the words to Mr. Leroy he didn’t do nothing but grunt, which was saying a whole lot for him.
It took him a while to carve all the letters in the wood and the day it was finished he showed it to me. It was beautiful!
He said, “She real partial to having things done fancy, don’t want nothing plain, so I put some decorating on it.”
In the first three corners of her sign he’d carved a tree, a bird, and some waves. In the fourth corner he put the sun and the moon. He even carved a ribbon to go ’round all the words and you’d have swored it was real. Mr. Leroy let me carry it down to Mrs. Holton’s so we could put it over her door.
Soon’s he drove the first nail into the wood over her door, Mrs. Holton came out to see what the commotion was.
“Good afternoon, Leroy. Good afternoon, Elijah.”
Me and Mr. Leroy both said, “Afternoon, ma’am.”
Mr. Leroy told her, “I’s sorry, Sister Emeline, I had the boy change them words ’round some. It was too long afore.”
She stepped outside, looked back up at the sign, and said, “Oh? What it say now?”
I read it to her and she smiled and said, “That’s just what I wanted it to say, Elijah. Thank you kindly. And thank you kindly, Mr. Leroy, for doing such a good job. I like the way you put them things in the corners, make it look important!
“Pardon me for a minute.” Mrs. Holton went back inside her home. I figured she was getting some money to pay Mr. Leroy, but when she came back she was holding on to a fancy carved box.
She reached into the front of her apron and gave me a whole nickel! She gave me money for coming up with words on a piece a paper!
I squozed it tight in my hand and said, “Thank you, ma’am!”
But even afore I could slide it down in my pocket I could hear what Ma and Pa would say.
I opened my palm and reached the nickel back to Mrs. Holton. I said, “I ain’t allowed to take no one’s money, ma’am.”
She wrapped her hand ’round my fingers so the nickel was folded back up in my fist.
“Elijah, I insists. If you ain’t gunn take it I’m-a throw it out in the yard. I’ll tell your ma I made you.”
That was good enough for me! Ma and Pa would think throwing money away was worst than taking it for doing someone a favour, so I didn’t have nothing to worry ’bout!
Then Mrs. Holton looked at Mr. Leroy and said, “Sir. This here’s for you.”
She reached the wood box at him.
Mr. Leroy wrinkled his forehead for a bit then said, “Sister Emeline, I ’preciate you giving me this here box. It’s some fine work. And in light of your loss I’m-a say we’s even, but from now on I caint be dealing in nothing but money. Sorry if I’m seeming bold, ma’am, I ain’t intending to, but I know with you having someone what was ’slaved down home, you understand.”
Mrs. Holton said, “I understand. Here. Open the box.”
Mr. Leroy took the box, pulled the lid off, and both him and me sucked in air like we got dunked in a barrel of cold water.
His hands commenced shaking, he busted out in a sweat and looked like his belly was aching him bad. He grabbed ahold of his left arm then whispered, “Mrs. Holton
? What this?”
Mrs. Holton said, “It’s twenty-two hundred dollars in gold, Mr. Leroy. It’s what I was gunn buy John Holton with. You need it more’n me now.”
Mr. Leroy couldn’t talk. His legs melted from under him and he ended up in a heap on Mrs. Holton’s stoop. He said, “Mrs. Holton, this here’ll be my wife and both my children. I … I … I caint turn this down.…”
“I ain’t ’specting you would.”
She walked over to where he fell and he wrapped his arms ’round her legs like a drowning man holding on to a tree in a flood.
He kept on mumbling, “I caint turn it down, I caint turn it down.…”
It was something terrible to see. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail, all the grownedness I’d been showing lately flewed off like ducks off of a pond and I was a fra-gile boy all over again. Seeing someone strong and tough as Mr. Leroy crying made me feel like everything was turned topsy-turvy.
Next thing you knowed, all three of us were bawling on Mrs. Holton’s stoop. She pulled me in to her and we were a doggone pathetic sight.
Mr. Leroy said, “Sister Emeline, I done already save eleven hundred and ninety-two dollars and eighty-five cent. I ain’t gunn need all this, but I swear I’m-a pay you back, I swear it. And you ain’t never gunn have to worry ’bout no work being done on your land for the rest of your life.”
Mr. Leroy didn’t even wipe the tears away. He was crying but started smiling at the same time. “You oughta see my oldest, ’Zekial! He was a big strapping boy when I last seen him four years ago and now he be fifteen and must be big as a oak! Me and him both gunn be at your beck and call, ma’am, I swear it! We gunn pay back every cent! Thank you, thank you.…”
Mrs. Holton said, “Mr. Leroy, I ain’t got no doubt you gunn pay me back, but hearing that Liberty Bell toll when your wife and babies walk into Buxton gunn be near payment enough itself.”
She sniffed into the ’kerchief she was holding and said, “Elijah, read what them words is to me one more time.”
I’d toiled on ’em so long I didn’t even have to look at the sign above Mrs. Holton’s door. I swallowed down some of the looseness in my nose and said what was on the sign: